[conspiracy squad]

Yoongi:
hey guyys !!
:D how's it going ??
it's a beautiful day today don't u guys think

YourHobi:
Namjoon?

Yoongi:
darn
was it that obvious

Chocochip_kookie:
lmao kinda yeah

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
yeah Yoongi's never even used an exclamation mark once

Taetae:
true

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
so u stole his phone then I guess?

Yoongi:
yeet
he's prolly gonna hit me l8r lmaoo

Chocochip_kookie:
y do u hav his phone tho

Yoongi:
we're on a date, he's treatin me to coffee and is currently waiting in line, I'm chillin at the table, and he left his phone here soooo

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
ur joking right

Yoongi:
what no lmao he really is treating me to coffee
such a sweetheart uwu

YourHobi:
I think he meant about the date thing

Chocochip_kookie:
well he's got to be joking of course after all Hoseok didn't u say u were on a date with Yoongi b4

YourHobi:
tru

Taetae:
is everyone dating Yoongi or smth?
must be taking turns

Chocochip_kookie:
I think Jimin would like to go next

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
murder is on my mind

Taetae:
no jiminie don't do it id cry if u went to jail

Yoongi:
lmao
so did u want a turn next Jimin
oh fvk Yoongi's back I don't have time to delete all these messages
ah he's picking up my phone

NamJune has changed their name to dead_walnut

dead_walnut:
gimme back my phone

Yoongi:
mean

Yoongi has changed their name to yoongles

yoongles:
thanks 4 the coffee btw walnut

dead_walnut:
ill drink it myself unless u
put the phone down

yoongles:
lmao change my name first

dead_walnut has changed their name to annoying_af_walnut

yoongles:
lmao not quite buddy
cmon be nice u love me

annoying_af_walnut:
put down the freaking phone I came here to have coffee not chat w/ five other ppl

yoongles:
aw but yoongs it's fun with more ppl :)

annoying_af_walnut:
oh I'm sorry am I not good enough 4 u

yoongles:
what? Yoongi no of course u r
alright guys I'm gonna put the phone away sorry I'll ttyl

Taetae:
um

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
why did that question sound kinda sad

Handsome_face:
I'm just tuning in and am very confused about the name changes someone fill me in

YourHobi:
Namjoon had Yoongi's phone and Yoongi had Namjoon's

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
guyss :((
is Yoongi upset??

Chocochip_kookie:
if he's upset he's upset w/ namjoon
I don't think it's smth we can apologize for

Taetae:
yeah but I agree w/ jimin it did sound oddly sad
and namjoon's immediate response made it sound like he felt rly bad

YourHobi:
it's their personal issue tho not smth we can help with
just gotta let em sort it out themselves

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
yeah :( I guess ur right

*

*

[conspiracy squad]

yoongles:
hey
just wanted to apologize for being a drama queen earlier
and I read the messages, I'm not upset w/ Namjoon it's ok

annoying_af_walnut:
well u were super annoyed with me tho :)

yoongles:
well yeah
but anyway it's kinda nice u guys cared I didn't expect that
so
thanks I guess
not used to ppl other than Namjoon worrying about me

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
:,)
so ur all good then?

yoongles:
yeah I'm all good
thanks jimin

annoying_af_walnut:
aww this is cute u guys

Taetae:
i agree
the sentimentality has tickled my uwu's

YourHobi:
aaaand u singlehandedly ruined it with one sentence

Taetae:
what?? no I didn't >:(
I'm offended u would say that

YourHobi:
and as everybody knows the world stops when tae gets offended

Taetae:
I should be insulted but I laughed at that

YourHobi:
that's good, cuz I didn't mean it lmao I was just messing with ya

Taetae:
<3

YourHobi:
</3

Taetae:
hey

Chocochip_kookie:
r u guys flirting lmao

Taetae:
what no of course not

Handsome_face:
looks like flirting to meee

Taetae:
what is ur definition of flirting

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
guys y u change the subject we were talking about Yoongi :(

yoongles:
lol it's ok jimin we've talked about me enough

Taetae:
*gasp*
did yoongi just say lol

yoongles:
fingers slipped
also why is that a thing to gasp at

Taetae:
idk lmao

yoongles:
oh I almost forgot

yoongles has changed their name to Yoongi

annoying_af_walnut:
me too lmao

annoying_af_walnut has changed their name to Yoongi

Yoongi:
wtf

Chocochip_kookie:
oh this is gonna be interesting

Yoongi:
no it's not
pretty sure you'll be able to tell the difference
but also Joon change it u turd

Yoongi:
stop it
I hate this already

Yoongi:
think ur clever huh

Yoongi:
ur the one who thinks ur clever

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
omf guys
legit I don't know who's who and that scares me

Chocochip_kookie:
seems like namjoon is actually good at this whole imitating Yoongi thing after all lmao

Yoongi:
I'm Yoongi

Yoongi:
hes not tho
shut up Namjoon

Yoongi:
Joon ur pissing me off

Handsome_face:
this is actually hilarious
I'm gonna go grab some popcorn

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
:(( how can we figure out the real one??

Chocochip_kookie:
ask a question only the real one would know

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
for example?

Chocochip_kookie:
uhhh
yeah I got nth lmao

YourHobi:
Jin help us
use ur Japanese skills

Handsome_face:
いえ, したくぬい

Yoongi:
u mean いいえ, したくない

YourHobi:
bingo

Taetae:
wow
an English major correcting a Korean man's Japanese
what a world we live in

Yoongi:
oh alright since u were all clever and got me like that I'll change back

Yoongi has changed their name to NamJune

Yoongi:
better

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
:D oh thank goodness it's back to normal now

Chocochip_kookie:
yeah it woulda been real troublesome for u
wouldnt have known who to flirt with

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
JUNGKOOK