As I came out of the bathroom, I glanced over at Chishiya with slight confusion. He stood by the window, arms crossed, staring thoughtfully outside, unmoving. It was as though his mind was far away, lost in some distant thought.

“What’s so interesting out there?” I asked after observing him for a while, limping over to his side with my sprained ankle. Even though the swelling had gone down significantly in the last five days, I still couldn’t put full weight on my foot. Nevertheless, I was managing well enough without a crutch now.

“Every day, there are fewer airships left. Right now, only four face cards remain. The other players have made good progress, but no one seems brave enough to take on the King of Spades.”

I positioned myself beside him to get a view out the window as well. I could spot the airships of the Queen of Hearts and the Queen of Clubs, but the other two weren’t within sight.

“That doesn’t surprise me. He seems invincible. What can we even do against him?”

“There must be a way to win his game. I’m certain of it. If it comes down to him being the only one left, we’ll have no choice but to face him ourselves. And I can’t shake the feeling that moment isn’t far off.”

Chishiya’s gaze remained fixed outside, while I shuddered at the thought.

“Are you saying you’re going to try and defeat the King of Spades?” I asked, alarmed, frowning at him. “How do you plan to do that?”

“Certainly not alone. I’m sure I won’t be the only one who’ll show up to take him on.”

My helpless gaze lingered unusually long on his face, prompting him to finally look at me as well.

“I don’t want you to do it, Chishiya. It’s suicide,” I said, distressed, pressing my forehead against his shoulder.

“We both knew this day would come eventually. The sooner it’s over, the sooner we can go back,” he replied in a detached tone.

“And how can you be so sure about that?” I asked, looking up at him, my tear-filled eyes betraying the turbulent emotions inside me. It brought back memories of that dreadful dream where I watched him die right in front of me. The image was still burned into my mind, as was the feeling of helplessness, unable to save him.

Strangely, he smiled in response.

“I’m not sure, Tsuki, but we’ll never find out if we don’t do something.”

I let out a quiet sob as Chishiya wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close.

“Maybe nothing will happen even if we win. Maybe we’ll just stay here forever,” I said, my voice trembling.

“I find that highly unlikely. Something will happen. The question is, what?”

I took a shaky breath, trying to calm myself, but my spiraling thoughts were relentless.

“Okay, but what if… we do make it back, and for some reason, we don’t know each other anymore… or we can’t be together like this?”

Chishiya studied me for a long moment, then a faintly amused smile appeared on his lips.

“How could I ever forget my stalker?” he said teasingly, placing his hand on my head. “And as for the rest, anything’s possible, but we can’t rely on the other players to handle it all.”

I lowered my head sadly, clinging to his jacket for comfort.

“I just wish everything could stay the way it is now. I mean, minus the games, of course,” I mumbled against his chest. “I’d be satisfied to stay here forever with you. That’s all I need to be happy.”

He let out a soft sigh.

“That’s a pretty naive thought, Tsuki. Life always moves forward, and the world changes every day. The present will soon be the past. No one can stop time, no matter how much we might wish for it.”

He rested his hand on my head again, brushing over my hair gently as if trying to offer me some semblance of comfort.

“It wouldn’t bother me either, if I knew we had a future together. Since we got here, I’ve been trying to figure out what the higher purpose is for us being in these games. Why were we chosen for this? But now, I’m afraid of finding out—because I don’t know if it might mean losing you forever,” I confessed, a silent tear trailing down my cheek.

Chishiya furrowed his brow.

“That’s like trying to figure out the meaning of life. Maybe there isn’t a reason we’re here. Maybe we’re all searching in vain for some grand revelation. I used to search for it too, but now I think there’s no universal answer. Everyone has to define their own purpose.”

Moved by his words, I looked up at him, realizing once again how much he’d changed since we first met in the prison. Even the way he looked at me now felt more mature, more resolute.

“Have you finished my book yet?” I asked, reminded of it by our conversation.

“Yes. It wasn’t bad, though the ending was a bit unsatisfying, like the author had given up, proving that life has no inherent meaning. But the character Pierre Anthon reminded me a lot of myself. I guess I was a lot like him until recently. I believed life had nothing to offer and was utterly meaningless, no matter how hard I tried. By the end, I realized how pitiful he actually was. I think he envied others for having something meaningful in their lives, while he had nothing.”

I nodded slowly.

“Yes, that’s exactly what I thought too,” I said with a faint smile. “And have you found the meaning of your life yet?”

I looked at him expectantly.

“I think I’m still working on it…” he admitted. I tried not to let his words sting too much. Deep down, I had hoped I was his deeper meaning, his purpose. Maybe I really was too naive.

“You’re not exactly hiding your disappointment well,” he teased with a cynical smile.

I pouted.

“I just thought… never mind,” I muttered and pulled away from him, but Chishiya was quicker. He wrapped his arms around me, holding me close.

“I know what you thought. And I think you’re at least an important part of it.”

Even though those weren’t the exact words I’d wanted to hear, they were enough to make my heart pound harder. Truthfully, I was just happy that he’d started showing his affection in small gestures—whether it was a hug, a brief kiss, or a comforting touch. I was content with whatever I could get, no matter how insignificant. It was enough to keep me going, even though I knew the worst was far from over. For now, I managed to push that thought aside… but at night, the dark thoughts returned, tormenting my soul. Every day that passed, it became harder not to think about what would happen if Chishiya didn’t make it before we could return to our world. What I could suppress during the day would come back twice as strong at night.

Following Chishiya’s grim announcement, I was more distressed than ever and couldn’t sleep, even with him lying right beside me. I tried to stifle my whimpers so as not to burden him with my worries, but the harder I tried to hold back the tears, the more they poured out of me. My body began trembling uncontrollably from the tension, and I fought desperately to rein it in.

Beside me, the mattress shifted. Clearly, I’d woken him. Embarrassed, I buried my face in the pillow to muffle the sounds of my sobbing.

“Are you okay?” Chishiya asked, placing a hand on my shoulder.

“Mmm,” I mumbled into the pillow.

“Doesn’t look like it,” he remarked flatly.

“I’m fine,” I muttered dismissively, trying not to sound too tearful. “Just go back to sleep.”

He sighed heavily.

“And you expect me to just sleep through your whining, huh?” he asked, a note of derision in his tone. “Do you really think I’m so coldhearted that I can just ignore this?”

“I just don’t want to talk about it, okay?”

“You sure about that?” he asked, brushing a few strands of hair away from my face.

“Yes, because there’s nothing you could say that would ease this pain right now.”

“Since when are you such a pessimist?”

“I’m just being realistic. And reality looks pretty bleak at the moment.”

“So you’re just giving up now? That’s not like you, Tsuki. Don’t disappoint me! Not after everything you’ve done to make it this far. We’re only a small step away from our goal. Giving up now would be senseless,” he growled. I whimpered softly, clutching my pillow harder.

When I didn’t respond, he grabbed my shoulder again, turning me onto my back so he could look at me.

“You know I’m right,” he said sharply. “Stop wallowing, or I’ll leave you behind in this world!”

I winced, tears brimming in my eyes, and shook my head vehemently.

“I’m just so scared for you. I can’t think about anything else but something happening to you.”

For a moment, he gazed deeply into my eyes, and his voice softened a little.

“Don’t say such nonsense. Nothing’s going to happen to me.”

“How can you know that?” I asked quietly, sniffling and wiping a tear from my cheek.

"I know because I'm the main character. And they don't just die like that," he explained, completely convinced of himself and shrugging his shoulders.

A faint smile crossed my lips and I actually felt a little better than before, even though I knew he was just trying to cheer me up a little. I appreciated his effort.

"Thank you, Chishiya," I whispered softly and reached for his hand. He immediately clasped it with mine.

"For what?"

"You know... for cheering me up. That was pretty sweet of you."

He frowned.

"Sweet, then, was it? My cool aloof image really seems to be getting a bit tarnished. I don't know what to think of it."

I grinned at his feigned indignation.

"To me, you're cooler than ever."

He smiled amusedly and propped his head up with his elbow to look at me.

"And what else?"

"Well, you're the most awesome, clever, attractive, mysterious and sweet superhero ever written."

"And?" he continued.

"The most self-absorbed."

Chishiya chuckled softly.

"You have to start with something."

He gripped my waist and then leaned down to plant a fleeting kiss on my lips.
My arms, however, reached into his neck and pulled him towards me again before he could escape my touch. As Chishiya didn't resist, I became bolder and deepened our kiss with my tongue. An indescribable tingling sensation ran through my entire body, from the roots of my hair to the tips of my toes.

I pulled him closer to me and buried my hands firmly in his hair. The tingling in my abdomen soon became more intense, but I still tried to block it out because I wasn't sure whether I should give in to the feeling so quickly. After all, it wasn't my decision alone.

Chishiya playfully bit my lower lip during our kiss and gently brushed my hair out of my face, tucking it behind my ear. My lips were burning like fire by now, while my cheeks were burning up inside. All my senses were focused on Chishiya, but I was still reluctant because his words from the other day were still all too clear in the back of my mind. He wanted to take things slowly, but we probably didn't even have enough time for that. Nevertheless, I moaned softly against his lips in my ecstasy. Chishiya's body then pressed me more firmly into the mattress. I immediately pushed the disturbing blanket aside with my feet and then embraced his hips intimately.

His mouth moved down to my neck and kissed me with unexpected devotion. His fingers slid over my collarbone and paused briefly when they reached my cleavage. Then he looked up at me scrutinizingly as if waiting for my consent. Despite the darkness, it was almost impossible not to notice his self-consciousness.

His otherwise self-confident manner had always led me to believe that Chishiya was a daredevil who skillfully ensnared women with his charm. But the way he was hesitating now, I was sure by now that he was actually quite inexperienced sexually, which was probably exactly what he was indirectly trying to tell me a few days ago when he claimed that he wasn't good at "those things". So I unmistakably grabbed his hand and placed it right on my chest, which instantly freed him from his brief stupor.

He carefully traced the curve and gently pressed the skin together. Then he placed his lips against my collarbone and kissed his way to the base of my breast. My breathing became much more labored and my heart stumbled painfully in my chest as he began to unbutton my pyjama top and push the fabric aside. His lips brushed over my torso exploring, leaving a pleasant tingling sensation on my skin. His tongue reached the tiny bumps on my chest and caressed them with delicate kisses. I pressed my head into his neck excitedly and gently stroked his hair to encourage him. But then he suddenly stopped and pulled away from me. He suddenly leaned forward and touched the lamp on the bedside table. A little dazzled, I put my hands over my eyes.

"What are you doing?" I complained.
I lowered my hands again and then noticed how he felt the skin under my right breast and looked at it up close.

"Is that a... jaw mark?" he asked a little distractedly as he ran his finger over the pale scar.

I put my arm over my eyes and turned my head to the side in shame.

"Please don't ruin it now, okay?" I whispered imploringly.

"Was that him? Niragi? Did he do that?" he asked in a toneless voice.

"What do you think? That I'm into some kind of sick S&M games?" I said more angrily than I had planned and then looked at him, offended.

Chishiya looked at me for an unusually long time.

"Do you have any more scars like that?"
I shook my head silently and wiped a tear from my eye.

"No."

Chishiya nodded understandingly, looking somewhat relieved.

"I hope the bastard has gotten what he deserves by now," he said bitterly.

"Please don't let us talk about this any longer," I said pleadingly. "I just want to forget all about it."

"All right, Tsuki," he said quietly, kissing me gently on the forehead and stroking my hairline briefly. Then he turned out the light again and continued what we had just started.

However, it took a while before I was able to let go and banish Niragi from my mind for good. Chishiya's careful touch, however, felt completely different on me, which made it easier to forget him. My hands slipped under his T-shirt and slowly pulled it over his head. Then I stroked his upper body while he slipped my top off my shoulders piece by piece. He kissed me again, this time much more passionately. By now I was so aroused that I couldn't be stopped. My insides were constantly tingling and my nerves were all on edge from the close physical contact with him. He pulled my pants off my legs and slowly slid his fingers over my entire body. He paused in my glowing lap and tentatively stroked the fabric of my briefs. Then he searched for my gaze and when I returned it, I saw excitement flare up in his eyes for the first time. He actually seemed to want it. To want me. This thought made my lust grow instantly.

His delicate fingers, which were now subtly slipping under the fabric of my panties, were not entirely uninvolved. The very next moment I felt his fingers deep inside me, causing a pleasant tugging sensation in my womb. My abdomen arched up against them with pleasure, while Chishiya's eyes wandered over my naked body, fascinated.

I moaned bravely for a moment as he moved his fingers inside me. It was more than I could bear. My womb began to twitch uncontrollably as he continued his merciless treatment, which seemed to give him obvious pleasure. He teased me to the very end and only stopped when I was on the verge of overflowing inside. Only then did he pull out of me and remove my briefs from my legs. He then straightened up and slid over to the other end of the bed while I watched him carefully.

He pulled open the top drawer of the chest of drawers and took out the black box. He opened it and tore off one of the condoms.

A hopeful tingle spread through my stomach again as he came back to me with it. A small frivolous smile slipped across my lips as he was on top of me again and kissed me eagerly. My fingers fiddled with his pants at the same time. Chishiya helped me get them off and I couldn't shake the suspicion that he was getting increasingly impatient. I let my hands slide to the waistband of his shorts and slowly felt my way to his now obvious arousal. Chishiya closed his eyes and stroked my cheek tenderly. Then he kissed me deeply on the lips again. I pulled his underpants down lower and slowly slipped them off. With nervous fingers, he reached for the condom and tore open the plastic wrapper with his teeth. When he pulled it out, however, I took it out of his hand.

"Let me do it," I whispered to him and before I put it on, I took the opportunity to gently massage his erection again with my hand. Meanwhile, Chishiya's forehead pressed firmly against mine as he let out a weak sigh.

In the end, however, I didn't want to wait any longer. I rolled the rubber over his penis and then pulled his body close to me. His abdomen met mine and with a single movement he slid into me, melting me like warm butter. His hands instinctively reached for mine to interlock them. Then I wrapped my legs tightly around him and enjoyed the incredible high he gave me as he slowly moved on top of me. Completely detached, I let out a deep sigh while my whole body vibrated as if I was electrified. In ecstasy, I wrapped my arms around his back and pressed Chishiya further against me, even though he was already so close that I could feel his heartbeat almost as intensely as my own.

His movements soon became more demanding and I noticed from his transfigured gaze how he was gradually heading towards his climax. My arms tangled excitedly around his neck and his warm breath hit my neck. My nerve endings were on the verge of bursting. Then I moaned violently as a strong, irrepressible tingling sensation spread from the center of my body to all my nerve endings. Chishiya rubbed his head longingly against mine and trembled as I clung to him for dear life.

His urgent lips touched my hot cheek, which was noticeably burning. Never before had I managed to come at the same time as my partner during sex. I would never have thought it possible that Chishiya, of all people, would give me this rare experience. But perhaps it was also due to the fact that I had never loved anyone as deeply as I loved him. I was still breathing heavily when he laid his visibly exhausted head in the crook of my neck.

My fingers stroked down his back to his buttocks several times in a circular motion. A few minutes passed in which we were firmly entwined without moving. Just him and me and the silence of the night. At some point, he lifted his head a little to look at me from the side. When I looked into his dark eyes, I couldn't help but grin sheepishly. Chishiya seemed visibly amused by my reaction.

"Do you feel better now?"

"Mhhm, yes," I mumbled quietly.

"But?"

I hesitated a little and looked thoughtfully at the ceiling.

"Well, it still doesn't change anything. Even though I'm overjoyed at the moment, it somehow has a bad aftertaste. It will probably make it even harder."

"You should really stop thinking about these things and instead try to imagine what our future will look like when we make it."

I smiled at his words, stroking his hair lovingly.

"Above all, I want us to have a future together. Everything else is unimportant to me."

He raised an eyebrow, slightly amused.

"You really want that, huh? A future with me? Have you thought this through?"
I nodded confidently.

"Yes, Chishiya," I breathed and smiled. "Very well, actually."

"All right, then. I guess there's nothing I can do about it."

He stroked a few loose strands of hair from my forehead and then kissed me gently on the cheek.

This fanfiction is already a bit older. By now I developed some better writing skills, so at this time I would probably write the sex scene different than. So that's why I've started the other AiB FF ("the Cheshire Cat's Heart") so i can try again and make some things better. Hope you still enjoyed!