Mr Steal Yo Girl Handbook Section 1.1: How To Eat An Engagement Ring

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I press my lips into a thin line, trying to concentrate on reading my notes in preparation for class, but I can't seem to do just that with Feenyx gawking intensely at me itching to say whatever's on her mind.

I sigh. "If you have anything to say – "

"That bitch is playing you, my dude." She says.

And there it is. I sigh once again.

"Any comments?" she asks.

There are one million ten thousand three hundred words in the English dialect, but there is not a single one of them that can describe the feeling I'm feeling after what transpired in the staff room. Hell, I don't know what to feel about it because my mind is trying to decide whether I should be angry and stupid or disappointed but not surprised that Toni would lie and casually talk about her wedding plans like nothing happened.

"I don't know about you, but homegirl either bumped her head so hard she got into some kind of a delusion coma, or she definitely wants people to continue believing that she's going to marry her red flag disguised as an off-brand Christian Grey that's twenty percent off from Walmart."

"Well, she is very private about her personal life," I reason.

"Yet she has no problem flaunting her engagement like it's an accomplishment and a glorified Disney Princess living happily ever after?" she arches an eyebrow. "Get the fuck outta here."

"How would you know?" I retort. "You don't care enough to remember her name."

"Babe! We sit together at that desk over there at the corner along with her Made in China Barbie-doll friends." She tells me. "I've been hearing them talk about her and her mans and whatever the fuck they do for hours on end. I'm surprised my ears haven't already bled and I haven't already gagged and thrown up."

"But don't you think it's too soon to be disclosing their split?"

"How?! It's almost been two months and this heifer is out here answering questions about the wedding like she's still gon' to marry the brutha."

"Well, it's not your business to know about it."

"Then she should have avoided the question or at least shown that she's annoyed by the subject just like how she was annoyed by me making a harmless joke about you being her boyfriend."

I feel my throat tighten and constrict at her words.

"Look, I get it. It's not anyone's business to know what goes on in her life and relationships, but face it, Urie, she's playing you and you know it," She tells me, tightening her gaze on me. "She'd rather have ma fuckas believe that she's this Mary Sue living a perfect life and marrying the perfect man than let them see that she's sleeping with one of her colleagues to cope with the loneliness and her dysfunctional relationship and emotionally unavailable partner."

"I know, but she needs more time, Nyxxie. Maybe things will change."

Feenyx sucks in a sharp breath, pressing her hands together and bringing them to her lips.

"Gather yourself, bitch. He ain't worth it. Gather yourself, bitch. He ain't worth it." She exhales a sigh. "Fine, I'll leave it in your hands. And while you're at it, you should eat her engagement ring."

I knit eyebrows. "Why should I?"

"To assert your superiority, obviously." She answers. "If you're on your 'Mr Steal Yo Girl' agenda, at least do it right. It says so in the 'Mr Steal Yo Girl Handbook' in section 1.1."

"You know, sometimes I wonder if you're high or genuinely insane."

Feenyx blows me a kiss. I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. By the time I fish it out and open the screen, I see some text notifications from Toni.

Toni

Hey

Are you busy later during sports and clubs today?

I have soccer practice, but I can spare some time before I head home

Watchu need?

I just need help with counting the English textbooks

Is that okay?

Yeah sure.

♡

I knock softly on the open door of the classroom, announcing my presence. Toni looks up from the pile of books on her desk and greets me with a smile.

"Hey," she says, tugging a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear.

"Hey," I say back, entering the classroom and standing at the opposite side of her desk.

"I won't keep you here for too long since – you know – you've got stuff to do and places to be, hopefully.

I smile adoringly, not at all minding her rambling seeing that it feels more natural and less manufactured as compared to how she usually acts around people.

"It's fine," I assure her. "Nyxxie doesn't mind waiting for me."

She furrows her eyebrows. "Nyxxie?"

"It's a nickname I give Feenyx," I explain.

"Why would she be waiting for you?"

"We live together," I remind her. "Plus, I don't exactly trust her going anywhere on her own. She's a bit of a wayward wild card sometimes. It's like babysitting a grown woman who's a mentally stunned teenager."

"I see... well, let's get started then."

I frown slightly at the callousness in her tone when she addressed her statement, but I quickly brush it off.

Maybe she's still trying to get used to someone living in my apartment.

Soon minutes turn into hours up until I put away the last pile of textbooks.

"Why did you lie?" I ask out of the blue.

" What do you mean?" Toni asks.

"Back in the staffroom when Feenyx asked about your wedding," I turn to her, crossing my arms, looking her dead in the eye. "Why did you lie?"

I observe her with studious eyes as she tugs her hair behind her ear and her body becomes stiff.

"She seemed enthusiastic about it when she asked." She answers.

"You seemed more enthusiastic about it when you started talking about it." I point out.

"It's just one small lie, Urie –"

"No, it's not." I cut her off. "You're out here casually talking about it as if you're still getting married."

The deafening silence consumes and lingers in the air around us like a shadow.

"Are you and Stefan back together?" I ask.

"Are you interrogating me?" she asks back.

"Yes, I am. I refuse to be treated like a dildo you can use whenever you're lonely and sad and horny. So, are you two back together? Yes or no?"

".... we haven't talked since he left."

"That's not answering my question."

"What do you expect me to say?"

"The truth, Toni."

"Why are you making a deal out of it?"

"Because you're out here acting like nothing happened because, for some reason, you don't want people to know that your fiancé left you and you're fucking one of your colleagues to help cope with it!"

"So you want me to announce to the entire staff that the man that I love and wanted to marry left me just a few weeks after he proposed? Do you have any idea how humiliating and pathetic it will make me look?"

"Then you should have avoided the topic when Feenyx ask! You don't owe her anything! It will be way more pathetic and humiliating than it is now when people find out that you're lying. My friends are going to find out sooner or later – you know this."

"I'm not discussing this with you. You are not my boyfriend so stop acting like you are just because we had sex."

The room goes dead with silence. I tighten my grip around my arms, trying to keep my body from shaking from all the emotions that are hitting me all at once while maintaining my blank stare.

Toni sighs. "Thanks for your help, but I think I can finish off from here. You should go."

I nod before turning my heels and exiting the classroom. 

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Credit to the-red-jester for inspiring the "eat the engagement" joke.

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