Zadia paced around her apartment, trying to keep calm. It had been three weeks since the baby was left at her door and she was still... adjusting. It was Tuesday now, and she was freaking out. She was on schedule to start work at noon today, but she didn't have anyone to watch Santino or Tino for short. She came up with the nickname when she was changing his diaper, and it just sorta stuck. She liked the name Tino for him; it fit him well, but Abel reminded her every day that the nickname was basic.

Truthfully, because of the money that was left in Eliśa's apartment, Zadia didn't want to go back to work. She did her math and mapped out two sets of outcomes. If she kept working, she'd continue to save and if she stopped working, she'd had to count on Eliśa to continue sending money. And the problem with that was, she didn't know if Eliśa was reliable.

But finding someone to watch a baby in her neighborhood was impossible. Sure, there were daycares and the local nana that babysat for a good price, but the daycares would ask for certain papers, and nana... well, let's just say she wasn't necessarily professional. She used her place to smuggle drugs, and that didn't sit right with Zadia.

Then of course there was Abel, who had been stopping by every day after school to hang out. He'd help with Tino before jumping into homework and then leaving just before the sunset. Zadia appreciated all he did, but she couldn't help but feel guilty sometimes. Like she was making him miss out on the rest of his life even though Abel kept telling her otherwise.

Zadia knew if she'd called him he'd skip whatever period he was in at school and come straight to her. But she wouldn't do that, because he needed his education.

"What do you think I should do, Tino?" She asked the baby, waiting on a response. Tino stared at her with wide hazel eyes, clueless as ever. "Seriously? No response, I thought babies loved pouring out wisdom into the world." The baby tilted his head as he watched her silently. Zadia palmed her face. "I can't believe I'm even trying to engage in a conversation with you, after the hell, you put me through last night."

She barely got any sleep last night, because Tino kept crying. It amazed her how he'd go the whole morning and afternoon without crying, but then cry constantly within the night. Babies were a handful, and she applauded anyone that had one because caring for them was hard.

She figured that the only reason he cried at night was because he missed his mother.

Zadia walked over to the counter and picked up her phone, searching for her boss's number. When she found it, she dialed the number and waited for him to answer. "This is Bryan." He spoke gruffly.

Zadia cleared her throat. "Hi, Mr. Taylor, it's me Zadia."

"What do you want?" He asked rudely. "Matter of fact, weren't you supposed to be here?"

Zadia rolled her eyes. "That's actually what I'm calling about. I was wondering if it was possible if I could switch places with one of the later afternoon workers. Something has come up and I'm afraid I won't be able to make it at my scheduled time.

Her manager scoffed. "You've got to be kidding me, Zadia? Seriously? Why is it always people like you who can't seem to fathom what the word responsibility means?" He spat out. "Either you come to work today at the time you're supposed to, or don't bother showing up."

From across the room, Zadia watched Tino sit up in his playpen, looking toward her window. The sky wasn't as glumly as it was yesterday, but still, dark clouds blinded the sun. She felt several emotions hit her all at once, but she kept her cool because of the baby. "You know what Bryan." She started, using his first name. "I'm just not going to show up. You are an enormous as—." She caught herself. "I mean butthole. You are an enormous butthole that needs drilling because you're rude and a racist!"

"What?!"

"You heard me!" Zadia whispered yelled, her grip on her phone tightening. "And believe me when I tell you, that's the nicest thing I'll ever say to you. Some day you'll meet someone and they won't be so nice. Frankly, I hope they kick your a-s-s." She spelled. "You know my address, mail me my last paycheck!" She hung up and set her phone down on the counter.

Once the first drop of rain hit the window, the baby fell on his butt, a hurt expression on his face. Zadia ran towards him before he could cry, not wanting the neighbors to complain again. Henry had been patient with her for the past few weeks about the noise, but she knew if more complaints came in she'd be out soon. "Shh, don't cry." She whispered, picking Tino up. She bounced with him, patting his back lightly as she moved in the fridge's direction. He kept fussing in her arms, which made her grow nervous.

Zadia noticed that he was always anxious when it rained. She pushed some ice into his mouth and he quickly spat it out, fussing some more. "Why would you do that?!" She said, louder than intended, and that was all it took for him to start with the waterworks. She watched as his chin trembled, his tears clouding his vision. "I'm sorry, little human. I didn't mean to yell." Zadia tried shushing him, but it only made it worse.

With a quick pace, she walked into her bedroom and shut the door, before mentally panicking. "I'm sorry, Tino. Please stop crying." She practically begged, her tears threatening to spill from her eyes. "I'm trying here, why can't you corroborate little humans?" When his cry's got louder, she almost pulled her hair out.

"Okay, think Zadia. Think." Zadia said to herself. She thought about the things she researched about crying babies and sighed. "Alright, let's see if this works." Setting Tino down on the bed for a moment, she took off her shirt and threw it across the room. When she was done, she gently removed Tino's onesie as well before picking him back up. "I know, I'm sorry."

Her hands tapped lightly against the soft skin on his chubby back as his cries died down. She laid backward on the bed, using a pillow to support her head. A sweet hum escaped from her lips, coddling Tino back into a safe space. "I didn't mean to yell at you." She told him, her voice low. He hiccuped a little, burying his face in her chest, his tears soaking her skin. "Sometimes, the things I want to say comes out my mouth louder than it needs to be. I never had to filter it... but I guess I'll start doing so now."

Tino wrapped his small baby fingers around her black bra strap, pulling on it lightly. Looking up at her nightstand, Zadia stretched her arms to grab her iPod classic that was connected to her old ihome radio. They were some of the very few things she kept from back home.

Her eyes moved from top to bottom, searching for the right song until they fell on 'She's mine part 2 by J. Cole'

She pressed play, and a song played through the radio softly. Big hazel eyes looked up at her curiously. "Something you should know about me, little guy, I'm a huge J. Cole fan. And if you're gonna be staying here, you have to be a fan too."

Tino made a "Hmm," sound as he babbled a little. Drool dripped from his mouth and Zadia's face scrunched up. "Now that's nasty." She told him and he giggled for the first time. "You're gonna love him. This is my favorite part... listen to what he's saying. Excuse the cursing, I promise it's only a one-time thing."

'Needin' me, wantin' me, givin' me a chance to feel special
To somebody in a world where they not lovin' me
Handcuffs keep huggin' the wrists of my niggas
And I wish stuff was different here
But if I had a magic wand to make the evil disappear
That means that there would be no Santa Claus no more
To bring you Christmas cheer.'

Tino laid his head back down on her chest. "Look at you, vibing," Zadia said, grinning. The baby's eyes closed and Zadia nodded. "Told you you'd love him."

'I've fallen in love for the first time
I wanna cry, and I ain't even tryna fight it
Don't wanna die, 'cause now you're here
And I just wanna be right by your side
On any night that you be cryin', baby
I dry your eyes, I dry your eyes.'

Their breathing slowed, both of them relaxing. Zadia ran a hand through Tino's natural light brown hair. She never knew babies could have so much hair... she'd been born with none. It wasn't till the second grade her hair grew. And because of the bullying, she went through the year prior because of the lack of hair growth she decided to loc her hair up. The hair locing only made the bully worse, but eventually, as they progressed, the kids left her alone.

"The world is a cruel place." She muttered, touching the child's feet. She often wondered why babies' feet were so soft, she was both weirded out by it and intrigued.

By the time the next song was finished, she figured Tino was asleep. She went to move him, but he started fusing again which resulted in her laying him back down on her chest. "Skin to skin it is." Turning over to her side, she used her arm to keep him balanced and pulled her blanket up, covering them both.

As time passed by, she zeroed out, not having any clue when her eyes fell shut and she drifted off to sleep.

_________

Zadia awoke feeling someone nip at her arm. Her eyes quickly snapped open, landing right on hazel ones. She looked at the baby and sighed heavily. She felt when he had woken up minutes ago and kept a secure grip around his body. She ignored his movements to flee and eventually he stopped trying and just laid there looking up at the ceiling.

She was curious to know what he was thinking about... or if he thought at all.

"Zadia," Abel announced from behind her. Zadia yelped, her heart slamming in her chest.

She turned around, glaring daggers at the teenage boy. "Abel, I told you to stop with the sneaking up on me." She whined, sitting up on her bed. She picked up Tino and sat him in between her thighs. "What time is it?"

Abel walked forward, giving Tino a wide smile. "It's three in the afternoon, Zadia." He held his hand out for the baby to take and when he did, Abel bounced with him. "You know, babies aren't supposed to sleep without a shirt. They'll catch a cold since their bodies are fragile." He looked back at Zadia, his eyes knitting together. "Ugh... where's your shirt?"

Zadia's eyes widened. "Oh shoot!" She said, before getting up and rummaging through her dresser for a shirt.

"You don't need to put one on or anything. I've seen women with bras on before. Lots and lots of women." He mumbled the last part. "And sleeping with Santino at this age is dangerous. You can crush him or he can fall off the bed."

While Abel looked down at the baby, Zadia slipped on an old marvel comics hoodie. "I'm sure you have Abel." She said, before jumping back on her bed. "And seriously? How do you know so much about babies?"

"My Tía," Abel answered, laying down on her bed. He looked up at Zadia finally. "What did you guys do today?"

"The usual." Zadia flashed him a smile, watching him play with the baby. "I've got big news. You're gonna be so proud."

"Am I now?" Said Abel. "What is it? What did you do?"

Zadia bit her lips. "So, you remember a few days ago when you made that crazy suggestion about quitting my job since I'm financially stable right now."

Abel nodded, nonchalantly. "Yeah, I remember."

"Well... I did it!" She exclaimed.

"You what?!" He asked, taken back. "You did what?"

"... I quit."

His eyes widened. "You quit." He said, surprised. He looked down at Tino, who was watching his expression the whole time. "She quit."

"I quit," Zadia said, feeling prideful.

"I think this is a call, for a celebration." Abel pushed Tino to the center of the bed before standing up on Zadia's Mattress. His legs bent as he began jumping. "She quit, she quit, she quit. My girl Zadia quit." He began chanting.

Zadia let out the ugliest laugh before she stood up on her bed and started jumping too. "Aye! I quit, I quit, I quit. I mother freaking quit!"

From where Tino was placed on the bed, he giggled watching the two of them. "Ayeeee! She quit, she quit, she quit. My girl Zadia quit!" Abel said louder.

"Would you guys shut up!" Zadia's lousy neighbor shouted.

Both Abel and Zadia instantly stopped jumping, before plopping down on the bed. Their eyes connected a few seconds later, causing them both to burst out laughing. "I swear, it's like he's always been a buzzkill." She said, in between laughs. Their laughter echoed throughout the entire apartment. Zadia scooted up, taking Tino's onesie from the corner. Bringing him closer, she began putting on his onesie.

"You're so damn pretty when you smile," Abel stated, propping himself up with his elbow. Zadia scoffed at that, which caused him to roll his eyes. "What? I'm for real, you are."

Zadia cleared her throat, wanting to change the subject. She never really liked compliments. They never really lined up with her perception of herself. "I bonded with him today." She said, referring to the baby. "I did that skin to skin thing and played some J. Cole... I think he might like me now."

Abel pouted, slightly. "Damn, I missed all that? Well, that sucks." He sighed, tilting his head back. "I've been going to school and it honestly just feels like a waste of time. There's so much shit that goes on in that shithole, I can barely even keep up."

Zadia nudges him with her feet. "Language."

Rolling his eyes, Abel frowned at her. "You were just cursing last night."

Zadia frowned, remembering. "Touché. Maybe we need a swear jar."

"You got swear jar money?"

They both chuckled. "Stop, you sound like my mom." She let go of Tino, and he crawled to Abel's direction. "I was thinking of your school situation... and I think I can help a bit."

"I don't need your help," Abel said, a little too harshly. Zadia gulped. "I didn't mean it like that... I just, I don't enjoy owing people."

She shrugged. "Well, you won't have to worry about owing me a thing," Zadia stated. "As I was saying, I think I can help a bit." She says. "Since I've got this laptop in my closet that I barely use, I was thinking about getting some WiFi in here, so you could do online school here. And that's only if your aunt agrees to it of course. And if you like the idea."

Abel flashed her his signature look, his face brightening. "You'd do that for me?"

Zadia smiled. "Of course. We're... friends."

Abel couldn't believe what was coming out of her mouth. "Would you look at that?" His smile widened. "It took you four weeks to finally admit that we're friends." He took his hand, placing it over his chest. "I feel so honored to be your very first real friend."

Zadia rolled her eyes, shaking her head. "Don't make me take it back." She told him. "But talk to your aunt about it and if she'd like, she can come by here and check out the place to see if it's up to her standards."

"I'll bring it up, later on, tonight at dinner. Hopefully, my uncle isn't there, I know he's got some wonderful things to say to me." He said, sarcastically. Two weeks ago, Abel's school had finally called his aunt to tell her about all of his absences. When word got to his uncle, he was so furious that Abel and he got into a physical altercation. Abel spent that entire week at Zadia's house until things cooled down. His aunt had called him to apologize for her husband's behavior, but also to give him an ultimatum. He either attended school, or he'd be put out of her home.

"How's that going by the way?"

"Everything's so awkward. It's like we're walking on eggshells whenever we're around each other." He explained. "And my Tía, every time she looks at me, she's got this look that screams disappointment." He gulped, blinking his tears away. "I don't wanna be a disappointment to anyone, especially not her."

Zadia felt her heartbreak. "Come here, Abe." She said, patting at the empty spot closest to her. Abel picked up Tino and moved closer to Zadia. He laid his head down on her shoulder, staring at her paintings on the ground. "You, Abel, are many things but a disappointment isn't and will never be one of those things. Your aunt, she's mad at you but it'll pass. I promise you, it will. You guys reached this little bump on the road and all you have to do is make it up to her to patch everything up."

"My mom used to say something similar." Said, Abel. "She always had a motivational speech prepared for when shit got hard. I used to think that shit was mad annoying as a jit, but now I miss it." He tilted his head. "Do you ever miss your parents?"

"Is water wet?" She resorted.

"You're deflecting again."

Zadia rolled her eyes, playfully poking the chubby baby's belly. Tino giggled in response, babbling uncontrollably as drool dripped from his lips. "Don't be a thumb sucker." She mumbled, taking his thumb out of his mouth. When Abel noticed that she was ignoring him, he sighed and decided not to push. "I was a thumb sucker for a long period. Had to get braces... and that sucked."

"Yo imma warm us up some of that rice crap. You want a plate?" Abel asked, now standing. It was then Zadia took notice of the small band-aid on the bottom of his chin. Her eyes lingered there... her mind urging her to say something, but she didn't want to pry. If he wanted her to know he would've told her... right? "Hello, Zadia?" Abel called out, standing in front of her. "Where'd you go just now?"

She blinked. "My fault... I zoned out after you said crap." She said. "Yeah, take me out a plate. I've got to take my insulin first before I eat."

Abel nodded. "You know you're running low, right? You've got like five left in the fridge?"

Zadia frowned, her tongue skimming against her lips. "See, now that's how I know you've been eating all my food." She shook her head, picking up the baby as she stood up. "I kid you not, it's like you eat whatever you want and never gain any weight."

Abel looked at her. "Stop, playing. I'm for real."

"I'll handle it."

Abel crossed his arms. "Handle it how?" He inquired.

Zadia walked past him, making her way into the living room. "By handling it, damn. Are you the feds or something, because all these questions are bringing heat." When Zadia noticed that Abel looked kind of worried, she sighed heavily. "Look, kid, I'll handle it. That's all you need to know. You're not supposed to worry about me, it's the other way around."

"I'm not a kid." Abel resorted, rummaging through her fridge.

"Sure you aren't," Zadia said, picking up a wipe to wipe the drool from Tino's mouth. When she was done, she placed him back into his playpen to start on his bottle. "Can I ask you something?"

Abel nodded as she walked into the kitchen, "Yeah. What is it?"

"What happened to your face?"

Abel visibly gulped. "Nothing, why you all up in my face for?" He asked, placing his food into the microwave.

Zadia took one of the blue baby bottles and added some formula to it. She glanced at Abel, who was to the right of her. "You're deflecting again." She mimicked, trying her best to sound like him.

"You tripping, I don't sound anything close to that." His phone pinged twice, and he quickly pulled it out to check it. "I'll be back in a sec." He told her, as he read the new text that came from his homeboy. "Right back, I promise." He said before he hurried out the front door, slamming it in the process.

Zadia shook her head, looking at Tino. "Why are boys so weird?" She asked him. "I mean, seriously. Sometimes it's like y'all from a different universe." She poured some banana Gerber food into the bottle, before shaking it. When the food became liquid enough, she set the bottle into the container filled with warm water. Her fingers tapped gently against the kitchen counter as she continued to wait. After a while, she took the bottle out and poured some food in her hand to check the temperature. "Seems good enough." Picking Tino back up, she placed the bottle nipple in his mouth.

"It tastes good, huh?" She asked him as he placed his small hands on the bottle, trying to feed himself. Her lips poked out as she stared at him. "You wouldn't mind if I had some, right?" She took the bottle from him and for a second she could've sworn he glared at him. Dripping some onto her hand, she tasted it. "Woah... this doesn't taste all that bad." She put the nipple back in his mouth and he pushed her hand away, holding it himself. "Damn, greedy much?"

"Zadia!" Abel shouted, running into the apartment. He startled both Zadia and the baby. With his back pressed to the door and his eyes wide, he tried his best to catch his breath. "They're back!"

Zadia stood up with Tino in her arms. "Who's back?"

"The fucking idiots looking for Santino." He gasped out. "I was downstairs, talking to one of my homies, and then next thing you know them ni—" he caught himself. "Them fools hopped out the car with guns and shit, rolling up on your landlord."

Zadia's mouth ran dry. "Where'd they go?" She asked, mentally panicking.

"They didn't leave his office... I think... I think they're gonna kill that Gringo."

Not having a clue what to do... Zadia blinked. "What?" She asked, her head tilting. She felt like she was going to pass out. "What the fuck are we going to do?!"

"We? I don't know, you're the adult!" He shouted. "You're the one that's supposed to know!"

"Stop yelling at me!"

"You stop yelling at me!"

Tino spits out his bottle, starting to fuss in Zadia's arm. The yelling was getting to him. "See what you did," Zadia whispered. She passed Tino to Abel. "Get him to calm down so I can think." She began pacing around the room, pulling on her locs. "Sneaking out isn't an option, there's no back exit, and jumping out the window would kill us." She muttered. "If we made a run for it, they'd see us. Our best bet is staying put."

Abel scoffed. "So they can kill us here. No thank you!"

Zadia rolled her eyes. "Well, do you have a better idea, Abel?"

He sucked his teeth. "At the moment... Nah."

"Thought so." With quick-paced, she marched into the kitchen, filling up two of her biggest pots with water. "We've gotta get ready just in case." She turned on the stove, putting it on high. Placing the pots on the burner, she moved to the living room. "Go in the room with Tino... hide in the closet. Don't come out until I tell you it's safe."

"But."

"No buts. Just do it." Her voice was stern. She bent down to grab her metal bat from underneath the coffee table. She got the old thing from a yard sale the day after moving to her apartment. Using the bat wasn't foreign to her, baseball was a sport that was played amongst the children in her after-school program. It was only right, she learned. "I've got a taser in my closet, near the pile of clothes to the right. Use it."

"We're gonna be alright," Abel said, slowly descending into the bedroom.

"I know that." She said with confidence. "And if push comes to shove... get as far as you can with the baby."

"I will." He shut the room door before making his way into the closet.

Zadia glanced at the boiling water as she swung the bat around with her fingers. "I can do this." She chanted. "I can fucking do this!" She felt pumped up like she could do some damage to someone. But that hype quickly died down as soon as there was a knock at her front door.

"Oh fuck." She cursed.

Things were about to get interesting from here on out.

Not edited. Excuse any errors and point them out too. Thank you💕