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❝Let Me Know❞

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【Maigo】

June 30, Friday.

4:30 PM.

I didn't go back to school.

"Maigo?" My mom called from the kitchen.

"School ended early. I need to get homework done so don't disturb me," I said quickly before she could ask any questions. She gave me a confused look but nodded anyway. I gave a slight smile before dashing upstairs to my bedroom, closing the door behind it.

I plopped on my bed and almost screamed when I felt the pain from my back.

I cursed in my head. I completely forgot about my back.

Carefully, I turned around in a comfortable position, hugging my pillow. I still had my clothes on from earlier. I removed the mask from my face and threw it across my dresser, which then landed on the garbage can.

I sighed, collecting my thoughts.

I knew Ash was just trying to help me, but I still felt like my personal space has been invaded. I don't like sharing my problems with other people, and he, of all people, should know that.

For a good five minutes, I gave the ceiling a long stare, until my eyes finally glazed over.

I looked at my phone which was on my bedside table and reached for it. I tapped the power button on and scrolled through my contacts.

The screen's light illuminated against my face as I stared at one name in my contacts.

Ash Schneider.

At that moment, I just had a blank expression plastered on my face and I felt so empty inside. I wanted to disappear. To disappear from this world. People tell me I'm really smart and I always make wise and correct decisions.

But if I can't even succeed in something simple such as... friendship... how am I a successful fruit brought upon this world? I don't talk to my so-called friends that much because I have nothing to say most of the time, not because I don't want to.
Then when I do, I only end up causing such misunderstandings and hurting them.

Ash is the first.

I've never had something so internally and externally conflicting happen to me in my whole little docile life.

Is it better if I just cut off contact with him? 

He won't hurt then. I don't deserve his kindness and he does not deserve my hostile treatment.

Subconsciously, I watched as my finger hovered over the screen, tapping and tapping until a small pop-up window appeared.

You will not receive phone calls and messages from people on the block list.

「Block Contact」

「Cancel」

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

July 01, Monday.

10:30 AM.

*Knock knock*

I rolled over my bed, hugging my pillow to cover my face from the light. "Five more minutes..."

*Knock knock*

I ignored it and proceeded to sleeping.

The door swung open and it closed again. I could hear my mom walking towards me.

Or at least, I thought that was my mom. 

Ash grabbed my pillow away, the morning light blinding my eyes. I groaned. "Ugh... NO!!"

I opened my eyes and found Ash standing beside my bed, giving me a cheeky smile. 

That woke me up.

I sat up so quick, the pain in my back shot right up my spine again. I cringed. Ash's smile disappeared and he frowned. You okay?

He began sitting down on my bed but I raised a hand, stopping him. I grabbed my glasses from my bedside table and put it on. "What are you doing here?" I signed as I said it, still feeling a little hazy from just waking up.

You blocked me.

"Yes," I nodded, continuing while signing. "Which means don't talk to me."

It's been two days. He sat down on my bed, though giving comfortable space between us. You usually get over something so quick.

"I—"

His eyebrows knitted. Also, why are your glasses cracked?

God. I forgot.

"It's because..." I struggled for an explanation and Ash raised an eyebrow. A sudden realization hit me in the head and I gave him a horrified expression and started signing rapidly various questions.

Whoa, girl. Ash raised his hands up. One at a time.

I inhaled. My parents let you in?

He nodded.

You didn't tell them about.. I hesitated. About what happened to us, right?

Not a word. 

"Then how...?" I frowned. "You don't even visit here."

Ash sighed and gave me that 'really' look. We've been neighbors since we were kids. Our parents are friends, in case you forgot.

I blinked. They are?

Don't you remember when we were playing with toys then they joked about making us fiances? 

"What?"

He shook his head. The point is, I just told your parents I needed to talk to you. I never told them a word about what happened between us... 

Ash looked at me straight in the eyes with a serious expression. ... And about what happened to you.

I just sat there, staring back at his eyes and examining the deep shade of brown they were. I didn't know what to say. He knows? How did he find out?

He smiled slightly—a rather sad one. I don't know anything specific, but I do know something happened to you.

I was about to deny it all, just brush it off and make him leave my house, partly for making me wake up at 9 in the morning. 

Then I sighed, giving up. Ash is sharp, quick-witted, and observant. And regardless of how little I know of him, I do know one thing—he's just plain stubborn and persistent.

That's one of the things I like about him.
And suddenly, for a reason I didn't know, I felt a little lightened up. 

Just then, I felt a tear roll down my cheek.

I didn't realize I've been crying until Ash snapped me out of it. He reached his hand out and lifted my chin up. With one hand, he signed, Let it out.

I choked a sob, biting my lip. I probably looked ridiculous. I had snot running down my nose. My eyes were now puffy and flooding in tears. My hair was tangled up. My left cheek was still hurting. My back felt like breaking into two. 

I never really cared about my appearance until just that moment. 

Knowing Ash was seeing a side I didn't want to ever show to anyone—more or less, a side I didn't know I had until then—made me feel embarrassed. I always had a straight face with everything. I handled all my problems well and I always handled them alone. I never cared about what others thought of me. I just focused on being successful in my education and leading a triumphant life.

I never asked anyone for help. Not even my family.

Because I never found any reason to. I grew up learning how to be independent. My emotions became more and more locked up, until I just completely shut it all out.

At that moment, I experienced so many emotions at once, my hypothalamus could break out.

Ash put his hand down, yet I still had my chin up as I gazed at him, quietly sobbing. You don't have to tell me everything if you don't want to. Just know that I'll be there for you when you need a shoulder. He paused. And... I know you probably think I'm weird right now. We have only been neighbors, and that's all it's been for a long time. We have the same circle of friends, but we're not actually friends. 

You and I... He gave me a small shy smile. We have an odd friendship. You make me feel comfortable. We don't talk much but it's not awkward. You help me in school and summer school which may seem nothing, but your actions mean a lot to me. First day of school and I was so lost. My interpreter couldn't come, then bam, you appeared there, knowing how to sign. You amaze me. You're a genius. You're an amazing person, and you're strong. And I know that's not everyday you're like this awesome person. I knew you'd have a soft spot, but your pride is too high for that and you don't trust anyone too much or at all. Not even your close friends, yeah?

I nodded slightly. "Ash, I—" I removed my glasses to wipe my tears away.  "I'm... I'm always the supporter, but... I'm never the hero."

You're already a hero. His smile grew. Without you, I would have continued wandering the halls. You lent me a pencil when mine got lost. Hell, you even saved me when my homework got destroyed by that water fountain! 

I let out a light laugh.

He continued smiling. That's what I'm talking about!

Thank you. I signed. Really. But, I don't think I can talk about... about what happened now.

Let me know. He scooted closer until our knees were brushing against each other slightly. Let me know whenever you're ready. Like I told you, you don't have to when you don't want to just yet. I'll be there for you.

I smiled. I appreciate it.

*Knock knock*

"Maigo? Are you and Ash doing okay there?"

I perked up, looking at the door. "Yes!"

"Alright then. Take your time!" I could hear her and dad chuckling.

Ash raised an eyebrow and looked back at the closed door then back at me. What?

It's mom. I signed. 

Oh. Ash rubbed his hair with his fingers—a habit I noticed he does whenever he's thinking. His eyes widened. What time is it?

I took my phone and turned it on. 11:11 AM.

He muttered a curse under his breath—or at least I thought he did. He looked up at me again. My reason for coming here, other than to talk to you about that... it completely slipped my mind.

"What?"

Ash stood up from my bed and held a hand out. You and I are going to Camp.

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This chapter was also inspired from the song There For You by Martin Garrix & Troye Sivan. I thank Jungkook for sharing this song in the GCF in Tokyo video. :)

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