Swayam

I did not know why, but Kriya brought out the good in me that I always kept hidden from prying eyes of others. I hated showing myself as vulnerable, which only led to one reputation of mine that I purposefully built. It was surprising to see how easily she was able to see right through my act from day 1 itself.

Ever since that day, whether Kriya wanted it or not, I would always ‘steal’ her books and hence force her into walking her to her classes. It was an everyday routine now. After about a week or so, she gave up on pretending to be mad at me until eventually, I no longer had to use books as an excuse. She’d wait for me as she got to school.

The only person not liking this growing friendship was Sharon. She’d think of numerous methods to trouble Kriya. I’d always be on the lookout for trouble whenever Sharon was around, and even if I wasn’t around Kriya, I made sure she was alright. None of her attempts becoming successful was making her dangerous, and that is one day I didn’t foresee. Until finally, she took the step of putting up a pretense and ‘accidentally’ having Gautam find us together.

Kriya was trying to solve a math problem, but was having difficulty. I was going to my room, but then thought of visiting Kriya. “Hey!” I greeted her when I reached her room.

“Hi...” She replied, not exactly looking up. I welcomed myself in, after a few seconds had passed and she spoke nothing more.

“What is it?” I asked looking over her shoulder and at her books.

“This thing!” She responded at the brink of frustration. “Why does math have to be so hard?!”

I chuckled, “You’re just exaggerating. Let me see.” I spotted the problem right away. “Kriya, how old are you?”

“Excuse me?” She felt offended.

“No, really. I’m sure you had learnt your multiplication tables in elementary school?”

“What are you talking about?” She asked me to get to the point. “Ofcourse I know my tables!”

“Do you, now?” I challenged, then pointed at the wrong multiplication step. “6 times 9 is 54, not 56.”

She saw it too then and indeed felt beyond silly for making such a simple mistake. “You’ve got to be kidding me!” She muttered as she scribbled the changes. I shook his head, took her hand and put a cross mark over the problem.

“Why don’t you just start over? You’ll be able to follow the steps better, without all the scribbles.”

It least mattered to Kriya, but knowing me and how I liked my work to be on top notch, she found it best to not argue and just start over in the clean area underneath.

Just then, Gautam walked in. “Kriya? What are you doing?” He asked, though his eyes were on me. Seeing the disapproval in Gautam’s eyes, I took a step away.

“Papa. I was just doing my homework.” She explained, remembering what he had told her before I had come to live at their house. He did not want her to be anywhere near me.

“Clearly, you seem to have forgotten something I have told you,” He chided her.

She bowed her head, not responding. She had never lied before and she wasn’t going to start now. The truth was, after all, that she had forgotten. Both of us had. “I am sorry father.” She apologized.

Gautam was walking towards her, when I stepped in between the two. Gautam was surprised, seeing me act as such, and so was Kriya. “What was that for?” He asked, pausing.

“She’s not at fault.” I began explaining. “Don’t hurt her.”

Gautam’s eyes softened. He realized, did I really think that he was going to hurt Kriya? “She’s my daughter. I would never hurt her!” He exasperated.

I felt I had offended him, but I wasn’t going to take a chance. When I saw the anger in his eyes, I just had to step in between. I didn’t let the bullies at school trouble Kriya. I would defend her here as well, even if it meant standing up against her own father. Only, I had forgotten that he was her father, and so wouldn’t hurt her like a stranger at school would.

I stepped back and knowing it was my cue, I left from there. I didn’t know what Kriya told him, but minutes later, he came to visit me. He entered my room. I had just taken a shower to calm himself. Seeing Gautam, I immediately began on his apologizing, “I’m sorry, Uncle. I didn’t mean to do that. I wasn’t thinking.”

He held his hand up, asking me to stop. After I did, he advised, “Look Swayam, I agreed on allowing you to stay in my house because you’re Rishi’s son and he’s my best friend. Else, given your reputation, I wouldn’t have. I wouldn’t risk my daughter’s lives for anyone.”

I nodded, “I know, uncle.” Only this once, I wish I hadn’t built up a reputation, just so he would trust me.

“Kriya trusts you, so I will trust you too. But, God forbid, if anything happens to her, I...”

I didn’t let him finish the statement, “I understand, uncle. I will never break her trust, I promise.”

He nodded, and turned to leave having heard what he needed to hear to reassure himself. He stopped briefly, “Oh, and thank you for looking after her at school.”

It was around five in the morning when I woke up. The dream I had made absolutely no sense to me. I thought it futile to even think as such. I decided to get ready when sleep didn't come back to me. Upon entering the washroom, I realized I had left my toothbrush upstairs in Kriya's washroom. I didn't want to face her after brushing her away last night but I knew I’d have to.

I was leaving today.

When I peaked in her room slightly opening it, I saw the bed was empty. I opened it fully, worry getting the best of me and saw her in the balcony. Opening the glass door and stepping out, I felt the chilled night air and her wrapped in a warm blanket. I smiled seeing a cute frown on her face. I came to a conclusion that she must have fallen asleep while listening to music. I knew she often did that. Vicky had told me about that.

I didn't have the heart to wake her up. I sneakily slipped my hand under her knees and other by her neck and effortlessly lifted her up. She immediately cuddled up in my arms and found a comfortable spot still deep in her sleep, body heat emitted into her, making her all the more comfortable. Stepping sideways, I walked past the chair and back inside the room.

I laid her down on the bed but she refused to loosen her grip around my neck. I tried but failed. Even in sleep, she was being adamant. Uff, this girl. Whoever says she is innocent and naïve?

Having no option left, I went over beside her. She moved in closer and placed her head on my chest. If only she knew the effect she was having on me. I let out a deep sigh. If I wasn't crazy already, she would definitely turn me into one soon.

Yes, I needed to leave.

I could surely not go back to sleep with her this close to me. I decided I might as well try and get comfortable. Her hands were already wrapped around me. I let my hand linger on her tiny waist and tried going back to sleep.

Kriya

I shifted, to realize my head was against something hard. I peeked through one eye to realize I wasn't on the chair but lying on my bed and my head was on Swayam's chest. I looked up to see his eyes closed. My hands were around him and it wasn’t hard to assume what must have happened. I wanted to move my hand from under his neck but didn't want to disturb him. Now that I paid attention to it, my palm felt numb. His hand also rested on my waist.

I balanced myself on my elbow and as my head took its weight off Swayam's chest, he instantly stirred and opened his eyes. Seeing me awake and looking at his hand on my waist, he jerked it away, allowing me to get up. He followed. "I came to get my brush and saw you were out so I… But you refused to let go. I didn't want to wake you…'

He is trying to explain himself? I thought. To stop him from fumbling around, I covered his mouth. "Shh, since when do we need to give each other justification?" When I was sure he wouldn't continue blabbering, I moved her hand away, not noticing he was gazing into my eyes, completely in a trance. "I didn't ask you any question and there won't be a time in future where I will have to."

My words indirectly stated that I trusted him more than my life and there were no second thoughts about it. He was the reason I was here today. Alive.

As for Trust? I had it immensely in him, and it wasn't something I gave away easily. I was so sure I knew there wouldn't come a time in our future where I would have to question any action of his. I remembered the first time I had said it out loud to someone else that I trusted him.

Once Swayam had left, my father motioned for me to sit next to him. I did. “What was that about?” He asked.

“First day of school, some people were bothering me.” That was all I said. He could guess the same.

“They haven’t troubled you again, have they?” He asked, his fatherly instincts kicking in. I quickly shook my head. “Why didn’t you tell me about this before?”

“I didn’t want to trouble you,” I replied.

He put his hand on my head. “You’re such a sweet daughter.” I smiled back at him. He continued, “And sometimes, that is what scares me. You’re too innocent. There is a reason why I wanted you to stay away from Swayam, you know that right?”

I nodded. “I know, father. But we all just judged him wrong. He’s very nice to me.”

“I just saw that,” He agreed. “I can see he feels strongly about you.”

“He’s a very good friend, even though he will never accept that.” I said with a chuckle, and went on, “He’s just created this misperception about himself in others’ eyes on purpose. There is good in his heart. He just doesn’t let everyone see it.” I confided in him.

“If you’re saying that, I’m sure there must be truth in that.” He spoke, though a bit skeptical.

“But?” I asked.

“But I still want you to keep your distance from him as much as possible. I want you to be careful. I trust you, but not him.”

“There’s nothing to be afraid of, father,” I tried to convince him. “He will never hurt me.”

“How can you be so sure?” He could not understand how I could be.

“Because I trust him.” He was taken aback. He knew I never trusted anyone, but for Swayam, he could see I truly did. “You trust me and I trust him, father. So... can you trust him too? For me?”

He chuckled, at last and patted my head. “You always do manage to convince me with what you want.”

I hugged him, “Thank you.” I smiled. I knew, Swayam could change, but they had to believe in him. I believed in him; I believed he could change and be the good person that he is in front of everyone too, not just in front of me. And, now that my father had given me permission, I could freely make him believe that too and help him. I knew what I had to do next. Swayam had already taken the first step through instinct and stepping in between me and my father.

“You don’t have a fever, do you?” He asked, when I went down for breakfast.

I shook my head, “No. Why?”

“You’re wearing your hoodie.”

“Just cold.”

“I’ve told you many times. We can move south where it isn’t as cold.”

“I like the snow,” I gave the same answer I always did.

He didn’t say anything back, as he finished his coffee, and handed me my cup. “Vicky?” I asked, not seeing him. He’d be the first one up on weekends, demanding breakfast.

“Off to meet Neha.”

I smiled, “He needs to confess his feelings for her, to her, already.”

“You know, I was thinking something.” He said after a while.

“Yes?”

“Maybe I should shift my office here. I realized yesterday how much Vicky and I haven’t spent much time together in the past couple of years, with all that’s been going on.”

I smiled, “You should. He’d like that. You know? He misses you a lot. All the things you two used to do together.”

He nodded, “Yeah, you don’t mind?”

I looked at him, confused, brows squinted. “Why would I?”

He shook his head, and grabbed his things. “I have to go back now. Lots of pending stuff.”

“Okay,” I replied.

Swayam

What have I done? I was supposed to leave, but instead, I told her I might shift office here. This shouldn’t have happened. I don’t know what made me say that. It was not my intention at all.

Cursing myself, I sat in my car and drove away. Times like this, I was glad I didn’t bring my driver here every weekend. This was the only time I drove myself. It distracted me from thinking.

A couple of hours later, I headed straight for the office, leaving my bag in the car, instead of stopping by the pent house first. Aashi was surprised seeing me, “Wow, you’re really back.”

“Don’t get sad so soon.” I told her.

“What’d you do now?”

“Instead of telling her what I was supposed to, I told her I might shift office there.”

She burst off laughing. “I knew it! I knew you wouldn’t be able to stay away.”

“It’s not because of what you think. I think I should because of Vicky. Amongst all this, I realized I was unintentionally keeping away from him too.”

She sighed and took a seat next to me. “Don’t go all guilty and beat yourself up about it now. It’s a good idea, you know? To move back there. Things could go back to being normal.”

I shook my head. “Things can never be normal. A part of me wants to go back, but the other part of me doesn’t because it knows staying with her, all the time… it isn’t a good idea for me. One day or another, I will slip up and she’ll know.”

“And if you don’t go, it will only make her question it further, drive her crazy with questions till she figures it out herself.” She told me the other part I wish she wouldn’t have. I didn’t want her to say it out loud. It made it real.

“I’m not leaving you here alone.”

“Swayam, you know me. I can take care of myself.”

I timidly shook my head. “No chance.”

“Fine, if it means that you’ll go back to your wife and your brother, your family, than I will come with you. And before you say it, I know. You won’t let me pay rent for apartment, so do whatever you have to. I won’t complain. But you’re going, and I’m going. I’m getting all the work wrapped up here and contacting our office there. Don’t you dare change your mind now, because I ain’t going to.”

She finished, pointing her index finger at me. She should know though, her threats didn’t mean anything to me. They couldn’t scare me.

“It’s not a good idea, Aashi!”

“Tell you what? Go back. Face the fear that you can’t be around her. Fight back your feelings. If not for yourself, do it for Vicky. Because you cannot deal with your feelings, he shouldn’t have to stay away from you. And if you do, then you should be rightfully feeling guilty, and then, I won’t be the one telling you that you shouldn’t be.”

I groaned. Wasn’t Kriya enough, that Aashi had to be the voice of reason in my life too?

“Good, now that we have an agreement…” She trailed off, not completing her sentence, and left my office to return to her desk.

××××××××××××

Kriya

When I entered the college, I had a feeling something was going to be change today. It was just in the air. I met up with Hannah and Caroline in front of Starbucks. “Hey guys.” I greeted. “Where were you guys at the party yesterday? I tried to find you.”

“You were there?” Caroline exclaimed.

I nodded.

“What? Seriously? We thought you wouldn’t go, so we didn’t either.” Hannah replied.

“And you couldn’t just text me to tell me that?” I accused.

“Jeez, blame us for not going to one party you do go to, when you go to none to begin with! You should have been the one to tell us you were in fact going.”

I caught a glimpse of Taani, and my heart churned. She knew but my best friends didn’t. In that moment, it was decided. I had to get over my fear. It was now, or lose them. I wasn’t prepared to lose my friends once again.

“Where’s Shane?” I asked. I wanted all three of them to know.

“Inside getting coffee.”

And so, I waited till he came out. Cutting off his greeting, I announced, “I have something to tell you guys.”

“What? Other than that you didn’t tell us you were going to the party?” Shane asked.

“How do you know?” I asked.

“Roy told me.”

“Ignore him. What’s the news? Big? You didn’t have sex yesterday there with someone random and get pregnant, right?”

I stared at Caroline. Where does she come up with such random guesses? So completely wild. Does she not know me? I follow my traditions! I wouldn't before marriage. Wait, that doesn't apply to me any longer? Grr, still! She has lost it, I'm sure of that.

Hannah smacked her hand. “Care, she barely talks to a guy, other than Shane. I wouldn’t be shocked if she says she hasn’t even kissed a guy yet.”

I bit my lip, and the three of my best friends stared at me. And, even though Hannah said she wouldn’t be shocked, she looked utterly shocked.

“What? You serious? You can’t be serious!” She exclaimed.

“God, I don’t believe that.” Caroline said.

Shane added, “Exactly. You’re beautiful, and don’t mind, but hot too. Any guy can see that.”

I sighed, “Guys, we’re getting off topic. What I want to tell you is serious.”

They nodded simultaneously, and looked at me, waiting for me speak. I gathered in courage, and took a deep breath. “Remember Swayam? He came to college few days ago?”

They bobbed their head.

“I… eh…. We’re… married.” I waited for their reaction, but it didn’t come. “Um… guys?”

“Are you telling us you guys got married over the weekend?” Caroline asked.

I shook my head. “No...”

They weren’t saying anything. I started to see them getting upset, angry, and my fear started to come back. They were going to hate me for hiding it from them. They wouldn’t want to have to do anything with someone who was a liar. They didn’t...

My trail of thoughts ended when they burst off laughing. All three of them. At the same time.

Am I missing something?

“As long as you aren’t pregnant.” Hannah said after pausing her laughter.

Caroline grinned, when I looked back still confused. “Sweets, you’re too innocent to lie to us. We always knew you were hiding something. Yet, we were your friends because of who you are. It was written all over your face that you didn’t like to hide whatever it was that you were hiding.”

Shane nodded, “Yup, being mysterious and all has a charm, but even without it, we all love you either way.”

“Besides, we already knew.” Hannah said, shocking me further.

“You – you did?”

They nodded. “Yup,” They popped the ‘p’.

Hannah went on to explain, “See, we’ve seen that ring you wear on that necklace all the time. Remember when we asked why you wear it, and you said it was your mothers? We could tell it was a lie. There could only be one other reason for it, if it wasn’t your mothers. We just didn’t know who the guy was. Even though we saw Swayam for the first time only when he came a couple of days ago, it wasn’t hard to connect the dots. You never told us about your personal life. And when we saw him, it was obvious it was about him that you were hiding from us.”

Now, I was the one mad at them, when it should be other than that. “You guys knew all along and you let me believe I was lying to my best friends? Fear that you wouldn’t want to be my friends once you found out? Guilty that…”

Shane cut me off by pulling me back down on the chair. “Oh please, calm down, will you? We didn’t want to force you into telling us when you weren’t ready to. So we just waited till you will tell us yourself.”

“We know you don’t trust easy, even if we are your best friends. So, we gave you as much time as you needed to not be afraid and trust us enough to tell us.”

“So, you guys are not mad?”

They shook their heads. “Why should we be? You guys love each other. You got married. Big deal.” Caroline said.

And that struck me. I didn’t reply. Silence. They caught on.

‘Don’t tell me...” Hannah almost whispered.

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Shane said.

I shook my head.

“Geez, how was it? Tell us? Arranged marriage. Is it as cool as it sounds?” Caroline started to gush.

“Did you hurt your head somewhere today?” I questioned. How is she my friend?

She glared. “I’m not joking!”

“It’s nothing like that. We were friends then. We still are.” They shared a look I didn’t understand. “What?” I asked.

“Nothing.” Hannah replied. “We know there’s more to the story of your marriage. We’ll wait till you want to tell us.”

“No, really. We were friends then. And there isn’t much to tell. We weren’t supposed to get married, but we did.”

“If you were friends, why would you agree then?” Shane questioned.

“I... my sister and Swayam, they were supposed to get married. They loved each other, you see? But our father, he didn’t approve of the marriage.”

“But he let you marry him?” Caroline asked.

I this close to shedding a tear. “He didn’t live long enough to see that.”

Hannah who was next to me, put her hand around me, hugging me, while Caroline, who was in the seat opposite me, held my hand.

“What about your sister?”

“She…” I was finding it hard to say it out loud. I hadn’t talked about it to anyone. Swayam was the only one who knew because he was there. “When my parents didn’t agree, she… she shot them. They…”

They gasped. And I knew what they were thinking. “She didn’t mean to. She was just, you know, scaring them.”

“Where is she now?” Shane asked.

“I don’t know.”

“Then she didn’t not mean to shoot them.” He said, and I shook with anger, boiling. How dare he say that about my sister?

Before I could yell at him, Hannah held me back. “He’s right Kriya. If she didn’t mean to, she would be with you. She would be with Swayam. Why do you think Swayam married you?”

“You guys don’t know anything!” I exclaimed.

Caroline looked me in the eye, holding my chin up. “Yes, we do honey. We are not kids. Neither are we as naïve as you. Isn’t it obvious? Swayam knew. Why else would he marry you, not the one he loves? He saw her for what she truly was. Is.”

I shook my head, tears damping my cheek, blurring my vision. “No...”

I didn’t want to accept it, but the same look on all of their faces told me it was the truth. Swayam. Oh god, why did he never correct me? He let me believe...

Hannah wiped my tears. “He didn’t tell you because he didn’t want to hurt you. You still consider her your sister, not as someone who is cold, evil, and heartless. He didn’t want to spoil that image of your older sister in your eyes.”

I hadn’t asked the question out loud, but they knew what I was thinking. Without know anything, they yet knew everything. It just reminded me of how much they understood me. I guess, in the back of my head, I always knew what Sharon was capable of. I just did not want to believe that. I wanted to believe she couldn’t, that she loved mom and dad, if atleast not me.

“Do something for us?” Caroline asked. I looked up. “Don’t let him know you understand it now. It’ll only hurt him to know that everything he tried to protect you from, you no longer continue to hold on to. If I have judged him right, he can’t bear to see you in pain.”

 I trust him.

He hid the truth from me to protect me.

My own sister has been playing this game of treachery. Was I so blind as to not see it?

××××××××××××

 A/N: Sharon returns next update! Her POV too :D So does Rey. 

PS: Updating Friday's update early since update on Sunday might be delayed... I have a project due Monday, and ofcourse, I haven't even looked at what I am supposed to write the paper on, yet... Wish me luck! *sigh* 

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Love,

~Araina