Behadd khayal rakha karo tum apna,
Meri aam si zindagi mein, bohot khas ho tum

**

Hua hai tujhse bicharhne ke baad yeh maloom
Ki tu nahi tha, tere sath ik duniya thi

•••

Two days- that's how long Hanan stayed away from Ayat. And it was a lot harder than he thought. He thought they weren't allowed to meet, but at least he will see her in the lawn or aangan, but how wrong he was. He can't even catch a glimpse of her in the aangan or lawn. Because she is not allowed to leave her house. His patience has drained off, but what can he do?

Yesterday, Shahzain told him to join office.

"Mummy, mujhe ek baat bataiye?" Khushnuma was in the kitchen when Hanan entered there and asked.

(Mummy, tell me one thing?)

Khushnuma hummed in response. She was frying pakoras, and her attention was solely on it.

"Yeh sara glow kya sirf dulhan ke liye important hota hai? Dulhe ki koi value nahi hoti?" Hanan went to stand beside her, leaning his back on the countertop, he crosses his arms over his chest and asked about their baised behaviour.

(Only bride is supposed to look beautiful on wedding? Groom have no value at all?)

"Kya hogaya?" Khushnuma didn't understand what he is trying to say.

(What happened?)

"Aur nahi toh kya, Ayat ko ek mahine pehle apne mayoon baitha diya ki dulhan hai, bahar jayegi toh nazar lag sakti hai, shadi ke din glow nahi ayega. Lekin mujhe toh papa office le ja rahe hain. Dulhe ka glow important nahi?" He was asking in a very serious tone, but Khushnuma burst into laughing.

(You made Ayat sit in the mayoon ceremony one month before the actual wedding because is she goes out, she can be influence by evil eyes, and she won't glow on the wedding. But papa told me to go office with him from tomorrow. So groom's glow doesn't matter?)

"Toh tumhe bhi mayoon baitha doon?" Feeding him a pakora, Khushnuma teased him.

(Do you want to sit for the mayoon ceremony too?)

"Ayat ke sath?" His eyes gleamed.

(With Ayat?)

"Hato, shareer, Ayat se nahi mil sakte tum samjhe." Laughing, she smacked his arm and told him.

(You impish boy, you can no meet Ayat understood?)

"Haan, agar office nahi jana toh main tumhare papa se baat kar lungi."

(Yes, if you don't want to go to office, I will talk to your father.)

"Nahi, main office mein hi theek hoon." Hanan joined his hands together. At least this way his mind will be too occupied to think about Ayat. This way he won't get impulse of barging into Azlan's house and meet Ayat.

(No, I'll go to office.)

"Marzi tumhari." Khushnuma shrugged her shoulders.

(As you wish.)

•••

Hanan was wrong, even in office, he was mostly lost in Ayat's thoughts. Kabir shook his head in disapproval manners and mutters something about being love sick, and Hanan scowl in return. It was easy for Kabir to say it, when he will return home, his wife would be there to greet him. But Hanan, he isn't even allowed to look at his wife's face.

•••

"Mummy!" Entering the house, Hanan called his mother and sat on the sofa.

"Khushnuma!" Shahzain also called her. She always greets him whenever he returns from office, but today, she was not in living room.

"Tumhari mummy kaha hain?" Shahzain turned to Hanan and asked. Khushnuma didn't come to the living room even after they called her.

(Where is your mother?)

"Papa, main bhi apke sath hi aya hoon."

(Papa, I've also come with you.)

Before the Father son could talk more, Khushnuma came there.

"Kaha thi?" Shahzain asked,

(Where were you?)

"Bhabhi ke yaha, Ayat behosh ho gayi thi toh bas..." Sitting beside Shahzain on the sofa, Khushnuma was telling him.

(At Azlan bhai's house, Ayat fainted so I...)

"Kya hua Ayat ko?" Hanan didn't let her complete her sentence and asked, worriedly.

(What happened to Ayat?)

"Chakkar agaya tha..."

(She fainted...)

"Kaise?" Shahzain asked, but Hanan didn't stay there to hear what made Ayat faint, he stood up and was about to leave.

(How?)

"Tum kaha ja rahe ho?" Khushnuma asked.

(Where are you going?)

"Ayat ko dekhne woh theek hai." Hanan informed, as if it was the most obvious thing.

(To see Ayat if she is fine.)

"Theek hai woh, drip lagi thi, ab theek hai." Khushnuma informed him, but Hanan was not satisfied with it.

(She is fine now.)

"Baith jao, tum ussey nahi mil sakte." Shahzain points at the sofa and told him.

(Sit down, you can not meet her.)

"Lekin..." But Hanan was not at all assured by it. He won't believe Ayat is okay until he sees her.

(But...)

"Baith jao, Hanan." Sternly, Khushnuma told him.

(Sit down, Hanan.)

Huffing, Hanan again turned to leave.

"Hanan!" Khushnuma called him in a warning tone.

"Apne kamre mein ja raha hoon." He raised his hands in the air and told her.

(I am going to my room.)

"Waise hume itna strict nahi hona chahiye. Mil lene do dono ko." Shahzain whispers to Khushnuma when Hanan left.

(We shouldn't be hard on him. Let him meet Ayat.)

Khushnuma glare at Shahzain, on which, he zips his lips.

•••

Hanan paced back and forth in his room, his mind racing with worry. He couldn't bear it that Ayat is hurt and he is not by her side.

Déjà vu, when Ayat was in Hospital and he couldn't meet her. He is feeling the same restless tonight. Khushnuma assured him Ayat is fine, but still, why she is not receiving his calls if she is okay? Hanan couldn't even eat dinner.

Frustratedly, he sat on the bed to calm himself, then he again stood up.

That's it, he is going to meet Ayat.

With his heart pounding in his chest, Hanan made his way out of his room. He knew that he wasn't supposed to see her until after the rukhsati, if Khushnuma finds out he went to meet Ayat, she will scold him a lot, but Hanan didn't care about it right now, all he knew that he needs to meet Ayat. He needs to know that she is indeed okay.

To his luck, he met Ayla in the aangan, she was talking to someone on phone but disconnected the call when saw him.

"Aap ab tak soye nahi?" Going to him, she asked.

(You haven't slept yet?)

"Ayat kaisi hai? Kya main ussey mil sakta hoon?" Restlessly, Hanan asked. Ayla is not heartless, she would not refuse him Hanan knew, and that's why he straightforwardly asked her.

(How is Ayat? Can I meet her?)

"Ab theek hain, haan shaam mein halka se fever bhi ho gaya tha. Azrin aur inhe toh har waqt chor lagti hai ab toh hume adat ho gayi hai." Ayla was telling everything very calmly, but Hanan become more worried. Khushnuma didn't tell him Ayat has fever too.

(She is fine now, she had fever in the evening but now she is fine.)

"Kya main mil sakta hoon?" Impatiently, he again asked.

(Can I meet her?)

Ayla's eyes expanded in amusement. "Itni mohabbat, chot unhe lagi aur aur dard mein aap lag rahe hain."

(She is hurt and you look like as if you are in pain.)

"Uski takleef ka sochta hoon toh meri sansein ukharhne lagti hain, Api. Ek toh woh hai bhi toh pagal, itni chot kaise lag sakti hai kisiko?" Hanan was complaining to her, but Ayla was still thinking about his confession.

(Thinking of her pain hurts me, api. And she is an idiot, how can one always hurt themselves so much?)

A soft smile fall on her face. Patting Hanan's arm, she said. "Mamma baba waise bhi apne kamre mein chale gaye hain, tum mil sakte ho ussey."

(Mamma and baba are in their room, you can meet him.)

"Thank you."

•••

As he approached her room, he took a deep breath and pushed open the door, his heart in his throat.

Ayat was lying in bed, her eyes closed, maybe she has fallen asleep, closing the door, he went in.

Ayat heard the sound of closing door, and thought it's Ayla. "Mamma, humara sar bohot dard kar raha hai..." Opening her eyes, she was about to sat up and said. But seeing Hanan there made her froze.

(Mamma, my head is paining...)

"Aap? Aap yaha kya kar rahe hain?" She was shocked to see him there.

(You? What are you doing here?)

Hanan went to sit beside her on the bed and wrapped his arm around her, bringing her close to him, he let his restless heart to calm down. Hanan felt a wave of relief wash over him as he saw that she is okay.

"Dard ho raha hai kya?"

(Is it hurting a lot?)

"Nahi bilkul nahi, hume toh maza araha hai." Ayat snapped on his oblivious question. Of course it hurts.

(Absolutely no, I am enjoying it.)

"Tum behosh kaise hui?" Hanan asked, ignoring her sarcasm. The last time she fainted was when he told her that he wants divorce, what happened today that made her faint.

(How did you faint?)

"Woh... pata nahi, hum baithe the, bore ho rahe the aur fir hum uthe...." Ayat tried to recall what made her faint, but she can not find any answerz

(I.. I don't, I was sitting, and I was bored, I got up and...)

"Bore ho rahi thi toh behosh ho jaogi? Khayal rakha karo, Ayat, apna." Bringing her more closer to him, Hanan mumbles. He didn't persuade the topic of what happened. She will tell him if she wants to.

(You will fain if you were bored? Take care of yourself, Ayat.)

"Rakhte toh hain, pata nahi humare sath itna kyu hota hai." She wrapped her arms around his torso.

(I take care of myself, I don't know how I end up hurting myself.)

"Andhi banke jo chalti ho, aqal waqal toh hai nahi." Even he could never understand how she always end up hurting herself.

(Because you don't see clearly when you walk, you don't have any sense.)

"Hum andhe banke nahi chalte." Ayat got offended by his scolding, raising her head, she glare at him.

(I see where I am walking.)

"Achha Bohot zyada takleef hai toh doctor ke paas chale?" Brushing her hair, he asked.

(Should we go to doctor if it's hurting a lot?)

"Hanan, humse bilkul nahi chala jayega, hume moch bhi ayi hai." Hanan looked at her with deep eyes, she was wearing a dark green sweatshirt, hair falling on her face which she didn't put back. He did it for her and placed a kiss on her forehead.

(Hanan, I can not walk, I sprained my ankle too.)

"Toh main kis liye hoon, meri jaan? Utha ke le chalu." Mischievously, he murmured against her skin, then looked at her, who has now turned the bright shade of red and looked away from him.

(Then why I am here for, my love? I will pick you in my arms.)

Meri jaan! Ayat's heart skipped a beat on this.

"Ap... Api bhi doctor hi hain, unhone painkiller diya toh hai," Hesitantly, she told him, then she realises something. "Waise, Hanan, aap yaha kya kar rahe hain? Apko yaha ana allow nahi."

(Ap... api is a doctor too, she gave me painkiller.)

(By the way, Hanan, what are you doing here? You are not allowed here.)

"Main nahi manta inn sab ko," Hanan scoffs. "Meri biwi ko chot lagi hai toh kya main ussey mil bhi na saku."

(I don't believe in that.)

(Why can't I meet my wife is she is hurt.)

"Par agar kisiko pata chala toh?"

(What if someone got to know?)

"Husband wife hain hum, Ayat, pata chala toh kya."

(We are husband wife, Ayat, so what if they got to know?)

"Toh Kya sochenge sab?" Ayat tried to move away from his arm, but he tightens it, not letting her to move an inch.

(What will they think?)

"Kya sochenge, yahi ki Hanan nahi reh sakta Ayat ke begair." Holding her cheek, he told her, seriously.

(They will think that Hanan can not stay away from Ayat.)

Ayat's cheeks turned bright red as she listened to Hanan's words. She had never felt so loved and cherished before, with Hanan's every word and action made her feel so special. She felt she is the luckiest girl in the world.

A knock on the door came, which startled Ayat as she looked at the door with wide eyes then she turned to Hanan, who was calm.

Ayla opened the door and came in. Ayat tried to move away from Hanan. But he didn't let her.

"How are you now?" Ayla asked, without giving any reaction to Hanan sitting there.

"Ab... ab theek hain." Meekly, Ayat looked down and mumbles, she was still upset with Ayla, but didn't want to show it in front of Hanan.

(I... I am fine.)

"Kyu nahi hongi theek, messiah jo itna achha bheja humne." Ayla teased her, which made Ayat looked up in surprise. Ayla knew? Ayat looked at Hanan to confirm, who was looking her, he didn't even take a notice of Ayla coming in.

(Why won't you be fine, I have sent such a good messiah.)

"Waise achhe se khayal toh rakh rahe haina apka yeh?" Ayla's words, and Hanan's shameless stare made Ayat shy as she again bowed her head.

(Is he taking good care of you or not?)

"A... api..." Ayat was too flushed up to say anything, while Hanan's all attention were on Ayat only.

"Khair, yeh lijiye, yeh paov pe rakhlo aram milega." Ayla put hot water bag forward and told her.

(Anyway, here, take this and put it on your ankle.)

Before Ayat could take it, Hanan did.

"Chaliye, aap log baithiye, hum ja rahe hain sone." Saying this, Ayla left them alone.

(You guys talk, I will leave now.)

"Aap bhi jaiye, hum kar lenge yeh." Ayat ordered him, moving away from him.

(You should go too, I will do this.)

"Achha?" Hanan wiggles his eyebrows. "Main chala toh jaunga lekin iss dil ka kya karu jo bechain rahega tumhare begair." Holding her hand, he put it on his chest and asked.

(Really?)

(I will leave, but what should I do with this heart which can not stay away from you?)

His heart was beating loudly against his chest, and feeling it under her hand, Ayat's throat dries up as she looked at Hanan.

Hanan understood her hesitation, and quickly left her hand. He doesn't want to lose himself in his desire. Not yet.

"Lait jao, yeh main kar dunga." Seriously, he told her, and pushed her to lay down.

(Lay down, I will do this.)

When Ayat laid down, he put her feet on his lap and softly presses the hot water bag to her foot.

Whether it was the medicine, the hot water bag, or Hanan's presence, Ayat finally fell asleep peacefully that night.

Hanan didn't left her side all night, after she fell asleep, he covered her under the duvet and went to sit by her. Her hair has fall on her face, which he removes away and placed a tender kiss on her cheeks. He didn't realise when he fell asleep by looking at her. That night, both of them didn't wake up by any nightmare.

•••

Khushnuma was in dining room when she heard the front door open. She turned around to see Hanan entering the house, still wearing the clothes he had on last night. She could see that he looked tired and disheveled.

"Kaha se arahe ho?" Khushnuma asked, her voice sharp with suspicion.

(From where are you returning?)

"Main? Main... main toh..." Hanan hesitated for a moment, unsure of what to say. Looking around, he tried to find excuses. He could not tell her he had spent the night in Ayat's room.

(I? I... I was...)

"Kabir ne bulaya tha." Clearing his throat, Hanan lied.

(Kabir called me.)

"Iss waqt? Aur tum kal raat ke kapre mein hi milne chale gaye ussey?" Crossing her arms over her chest, Khushnuma raised her eyebrow and asked. She is a mother, she could tell when her son is lying.

(At this time? And you went to meet him in the clothes which you wore yesterday?)

Hanan felt his heart start to race. He knew that he had to come up with a better explanation, and fast. But as he searched for the right words, he could feel his mother's suspicion growing.

Shahzain walked into the dining room, and saw the tense atmosphere. He could sense that something was wrong.

"Kya hua?" he asked in calm and measured tone.

(What happened?)

"Inse puchiye iss waqt kaha se arahe hain?" Khushnuma points at Hanan and told him. "Mujhe toh bata nahi raha, shayad apko bata de."

(Ask him from where he is returning.)

(He isn't telling me anything, maybe he will tell you.)

Shahzain looked at Hanan, who was standing nervously by the door. Just by one glance, Shahzain understood everything. He could see that his son was struggling to come up with a believable explanation. Mentally, Shahzain shook his head in disappointment, Hanan should have know how to tattle the situation.

"Haan toh maine bheja tha file ke liye."

(Yeah, so I sent him for the file.)

"File?" Khushnuma looked between father and son, and asked.

"Haan, bhai ne mangi thi file." How smoothly Shahzain was trying to diffuse the situation, Hanan looked at his father with goggled eyes.

(Yes, bhai asked for a file.)

"Toh apne mujhe pehle kyu nahi bataya?" Khushnuma didn't look convince, narrowing her eyes, she asked.

(Why didn't you tell me this before?)

"Zehen se nikal gaya. Hanan, tum jao, fresh ho jao."

(It slipped from my mind. Hanan, go and fresh up.)

Hanan nodded his head and left before Khushnuma could stop him. He was relieved that his father helped him out. He knew that he had to be more careful in the future, but for now, he was just grateful that he had avoided getting into trouble.

But Shahzain was in trouble.

"Aise kaise zehen se nikal gaya? Waise toh apko sab yaad rehta hai." Shahzain didn't say anything in return, he knew Khushnuma will calm down after ranting out. If he answer her, she will argue more.

(How could it slip from your mind? You always remember everything.)

•••

"Ayat, ab kaisi ho?" After Hanan and Shahzain left for office, Khushnuma went to Alzan's house to meet Ayat.

(Ayat, how are you now?)

"Chachi, ab toh kafi theek hain." Ayat answered her. After yesterday's accident, Rubab didn't allow her to leave bed, and that's why Ayat was having breakfast in her bed.

(Chachi, I am fine now.)

"Chalo, yeh toh achha hai." Lovingly patting Ayat's cheek, Khushnuma told her. "Achha aaj main tumhare chachu ke sath shopping pe ja rahi hoon, tumhe kuch chahiye?"

(That's good,)

(I am going for shopping with your chachu today, do you want anything?)

Ayat shook her head, her attention was more on pancakes than on Khushnuma's words.

"Kuch pasand hai toh bata do, warna fir main apni pasand se tumhare liye shopping karlu?"

(Tell me if you want anything, or should I buy everything to my like?)

"Chachi, apko jo achha lage." Raising her head, Ayat happily told her. She doesn't have any preference, and besides, Khushnuma always buys the best for her.

(Chachi, whatever you like.)

"Theek hai," Khushnuma smiles at Ayat's answer. She was like that from childhood, whenever Khushnuma ask her if she wants something, her answer was always same chachi, apko jo achha lage. And after getting ready, Ayat would always run to Shahzain and Khushnuma to ask how she looks.

(Okay,)

"Kya hua, chachi?" Putting the fork down, Ayat asked to Khushnuma who was looking at her.

(What happened, chachi?)

"Kuch nahi, tum nashta karo, main bhabhi se milke ati hoon." Khushnuma shook her head and stood up when her eyes fall on Ayat's side table. A black wrist watch was there.

(Nothing, eat your breakfast, I will go to bhabhi.)

"Ayat, yeh..." Picking up the wrist watch, Khushnuma called her, when Ayat saw her holding the watch, her eyes widened.

(Ayat, this...)

"Hanan ki haina?" The watch, and Ayat's expression clear her doubt, but she still asked.

(This is Hanan's?)

"Chachi, woh..." Ayat's mind went blank. She didn't know what to say. She can not tell Khushnuma that Hanan was here last night, but neither she can lie.

(Chachi, this...)

Khushnuma understood her hesitation, shaking her head, she manages to muster a smile to assure her. "Tum nashta karo, main bhabhi se mil loon." She took the watch with herself.

(You eat your breakfast, I will go and meet bhabhi.)

Ayat felt guilty, she hadn't done anything, but still she felt as if she committed a crime.

•••

In the evening, Khushnuma was patiently waiting for Shahzain and Hanan to return from the office. Since she knew they lied to her, she was fuming in anger.

When they arrived, she was waiting for them in the living room. Her face was stern, and her eyes were cold.

"Kya hua?" Shahzain got alarmed when saw her looking at them sharply.

(What happened?)

"Hanan bhai ko file dene gaya tha na, woh apni watch waha bhool gaya." Khushnuma showed the watch which she was holding and told them. Shahzain was confused, but Hanan realised the truth was out now.

(Hanan forgot his watch when he went to give bhai file.)

"This..." Hanan started saying,

"File tum Ayat ke kamre mein dene gaye the?" Khushnuma turned to Hanan and asked. "Mujhe nahi pata tha Ayat bhi ab office ka kaam karne lagi hai."

(You went to give file in Ayat's room?)

(I didn't know Ayat also works for office.)

"Khushi..." Shahzain tried to spoke but Khushnuma's glare made him shut up.

"Aap dono baap bete ko sharm nahi ayi jhoot bolte hue. Pehle toh tum Ayat se milne gaye jab ki mana kiya gaya hai tumhe, fir jhoot bhi bol rahe ho."

(You father and son don't have any shame? First you went to meet Ayat when you are not allowed to, then you lied to me.)

"Mummy, woh beemar thi." In a small voice, Hanan told her.

(Mummy, she was sick.)

"Tum doctor ho?"

(Are you a doctor?)

"Yaar, uska shohar hai." Shahzain said, but again shut up by Khushnuma's glare.

(He is her husband.)

"Aap toh mat hi boliye, kitni safai se jhoot bola apne mujhse." Khushnuma glare at Shahzain.

(You do not speak. How could you lie to me so smoothly.)

"Tumhe upset nahi karna chahta tha." Shahzain tried to make her understand that they lied only for her sake.

(I didn't want to upset you.)

"Abhi toh jaise main bohot khush hoon ki shohar aur beta dono ek number ke jhoote hain."

(Now that I am very happy after knowing my husband and son both are liars.)

"Mummy, sorry."

"Kya sorry? Ayat se milne gaye fir jhoot bhi bolte ho. Sorry won't work." Khushnuma scolded him.

(What sorry? First you met Ayat then you lied.)

"Yaar, jane do na, itni badi baat thori hai." Shahzain told her.

(Let it be, it is not that big deal.)

"Haan, itni badi baat nahi. Bekaar Rasmein hi toh hain, mayene nahi rakhti. Balki main kehti hoon sari rasmo riwajo ko chorhein, aaj hi Ayat ki rukhsati karwa dete hain, kya karna rasmo ka." Sarcastically, Khushnuma said.

(Yes, it is not that big deal. These are just useless rituals, they do not matter. In fact, leave all these rituals and ceremony, let's not do anything, we should do the rukhsati ceremony right here, right now.)

"Aisa nahi hai..." Shahzain tried to calm her, but Hanan's interrupted.

(It's not...)

"Mujhe koi problem nahi."

(I don't have any problem.)

"Tum chup hi raho."

(You shut up.)

"Waise, Hanan, tumne wakai bohot galat kiya." This was Shahzain's voice. Both Hanan and Khushnuma looked at him with shock. Hanan felt betrayed.

(Hanan, you did wrong.)

"Jab tumhari mummy ne mana kiya tha Ayat se milne se toh kyu gaye?" He went to stood beside Khushnuma and asked. He knew Khushnuma's anger is not gonna lessen, so he thought of agreeing with her to pacify her, and to dismiss Hanan.

(When your mother has told you not to meet Ayat then why did you go there?)

"Jaise apko maloom nahi tha?" Looking at him with sharp eyes, Khushnuma asked.

(As if you didn't know?)

"Mujhe sach mein nahi maloom tha." Shahzain whispers to her.

(I really didn't know.)

"Bolo, Hanan, kyu gaye?" He again turned to Hanan and asked.

(Say, Hanan, why did you go there?)

"Main..."

(I...)

"Chorho, koi bhi excuse nahi chahiye. Kaan pakrho, sorry bolo apni mummy ko aur jao." Shahzain showed his hand to Hanan and told him.

(Leave it, we don't want any excuses. Hold your ears, sorry to your mother and leave.)

Khushnume turned to him and crosses her arms over her chest. Shahzain's words did not appease her at all.

"Woh toh apni biwi se milne gaya tha. Apne apni biwi se jhoot kyu kaha? Kaan apko pakarhna chahiye."

(He went there to meet his wife, why did you lie to your wife? You should hold your ears.)

"Khushi, kaisi baat kar rahi ho..." Shahzain got embarrassed.

(Khushi, what are you saying...)

"Sahi keh rahi hoon. Chaliye kaan pakarhiye."

(I am saying the right thing. Hold you ears.)

"Hanan ke samne?" He leaned toward her and ask in a low voice.

(In front of Hanan?)

Hanan heard him, and looked away in embarrassment. He wanted to leave the room, but this will turn Khushnuma's attention on him again.

"Haan, Hanan ke samne, ussey bhi maloom hona chahiye ki biwi se jhoot nahi bolte."

(Yes, in front of Hanan, he should know that one shouldn't lie to his wife.)

Poor Hanan, as always was stuck in the middle.

"Theek hai, tum kehti ho toh..." Shahzain shrugged, then raises his hand to hold her ears.

(Fine, if you say so...)

"Kya kar rahe hain?" Khushnuma stepped back and and screeched.

(What are you doing?)

"Tumhi ne toh kaha." Innocently, Shahzain told her.

(You told me to.)

"Apne kaan, Shahzain, mere nahi." Frustratedly, Khushnuma said.

(Your ears, Shahzain, not mine.)

"Yaar, tumhare pakrhu ya mere ek hi baat haina."

(Doesn't matter if I hold mine or yours, it's same thing.)

"Aap..." Khushnuma got too embarrassed to say anything, she looked at Hanan, who was looking at them but when got his mother's eyes on him, looked away.

(You...)

"Hanan, apne kamre mein jao." Khushnuma dismisses him.

(Hanan, go to your room.)

When Hanan left, Khushnuma again turned to Shahzain. "Kya karte hain aap, bete ka zara sa lihaz kar lete."

(What are you doing, show some respect to your son.)

"Meri kya galti? Maine toh kaha tha, tumne kaha haan Hanan ke samne." But Shahzain blamed her in return.

(How is it my fault? I asked you, you were the one who said yes in front of Hanan.)

"Shahzain, aap..." Khushnuma opened her mouth to scold him, but no words came from her lips. She stomped angrily out of the room, Shahzain ran after her to coax her.

(Shahzain, you...)

•••

"Dekho, jab humari shadi hui thi aur papa baar baar tumhe America leke chale jate the, toh mera bhi toh dil nahi lagta tha na." Putting his chin on Khushnuma's shoulder, Shahzain told her.

(Look, when we got married, and papa always used to take you to America, even I couldn't stay without you.)

"Lekin yeh toh rasm hoti haina." Khushnuma complained.

(But this is the tradition.)

"Haan toh rasm toh hai, aur fir dekho tumhari khushi ke liye Ayat bhi maan gayi, college bhi nahi ja rahi. Lekin ab usko ghar mein qaid karke rakhna galat hoga na. Gharwalo se toh mil hi sakti haina. Bechari toh lawn mein bhi nahi jati ki Barfi ko khana de." Shahzain was talking to her very softly, and Khushnuma understood what he was saying.

(Yes, there is a tradition, and see, Ayat also agreed for your happiness, she is not even going to college. But it would be wrong to keep her locked up at home now, right? She should be able to meet the family. Poor girl doesn't even go to the lawn to feed Barfi.)

"Lekin mayoon baad dulhe se bhi toh nahi milte." Khushnuma recalled her own wedding, then told him. "Hume toh baat karne se bhi mana kar diya tha ammi ne."

(But bride and groom do not meet after mayoon.)

(We weren't allowed to even talk to each other.)

"Hume mana kiya gaya tha... lekin humne suni thi kisiki?" Shahzain reminds her.

(Yes, they told us not to talk... but did we listen?)

"Apne nahi suni thi, aur apka beta aap pe hi gaya hai. Kisiki nahi sunta." Khushnuma complained.

(You didn't listen, and your son is just like you. Even he doesn't listen to anyone.)

Shahzain laughed at her words. "Isliye keh raha hoon zyada sakhti na karo. Janta hoon meri tarah hai Hanan, kuch bhi kar sakta hai." Shahzain warned her in a joking manner.

(That's why I am telling you don't be hard on him. I know he Hanan like me. He can do anything.)

"But..." Khushnuma wanted to object, but a knock came. Removing Shahzain's hands from her waist, she went to see who is it.

It was a maid, informing her that Naziya Begum is calling her to her room to discuss about the wedding.

•••

Shahzain and Hanan were unsuccessful in melting Khushnuma's anger, and now even Ayat was more adamant about not letting Hanan meet her by any means. After Khushnuma found Hanan's watch in her room, her disappointed eyes haunt Ayat. She never wants to upset Khushnuma, and that's why she told Hanan not to try to meet her again until their rukhsati. They had arguement over this on the phone.

"Tumhare liye chachi zyada zaroori hai ya main?"

(Who is more important to you chachi or me?)

"Chachi."

"Sharm nahi ati ek second bhi nahi liya sochne ke liye." Hanan tch at her reply. "Ayi badi chachi ki ladli."

(You didn't even take a second to answer.)

(Chachi's favourite.)

"Achha na, 2 hafte hi toh hain. Aur ab hum bilkul theek hai toh koi zaroorat nahi apko yaha aney ki."

(It's just the matter of 2 weeks, and now I am completely fine, so you don't have to come here.)

"Achha nahi ata."

(Fine, I won't come.)

•••

"Haveli mein nahi hoga function?" Naziya Begum again asked to make sure she heard it right.

(Barat function won't happen in the haveli?)

"Azlan keh rahe the, keh rahe the bohot guests ho jayenge." Rubbing her hands together, Rubab told her mother-in-law.

(It's Azlan's decision, he was saying there will be lots of guests.)

"Kaif aur Ayla ki shadi se bhi zyada guests? Unki shadi toh yahi hui thi." Naziya Begum was offended that how could they think of this.

(Even more guests than it was in Kaif and Ayla's wedding? They got married here.)

"Ammi, Azlan keh rahe the." Rubab got scared of Naziya Begum's sharp eyes and said.

(Ammi, Azlan was saying this.)

"Humari taraf se shayad zyada guests ho jaye..." In a low tone, she explained. "Pehle toh sirf humara khandan tha, lekin ab sab bachho ki shadi ho gayi, Nafeesa, Shafaq, inn sab ke sasural walo ko bhi toh dawat denge."

(And, there might be more guests from my side this time...)

(Earlier it was only my family members, but now that kids are married too, we have to invite Nafeesa and Shafaq's in-laws too.)

"Theek hai, jo theek lage. Aur walima? Woh bhi bahar hoga?" Nazuya Begum turned to Khushnuma and asked, who was looking at them silently but got startled because of her eyes.

(Fine, do whatever you like. And reception? That will happen in hall too?)

"Nahi... nahi, Walima haveli mein hoga. Aur Mere khandan mein toh sirf papa hi hain." Sadly, Khushnuma mumbles. Everyone was discussing whom to invite from their side of the family. Rubab, Rukhsar, Hamna, and here, Khushnuma doesn't have any family to call except for her father. She never made any new friends here in India, and she has lost the connection with all her American friends.

(No... no, reception will take place here. And from my family only papa will come.)

"Theek hai. Aur haan, Hanan aur Ayat ka mayoon sath hi hoga." Nodding her head, Naziya Begum told them.

(Okay. And yes, Hanan and Ayat's mayoon function will happen together.)

"Par woh toh nahi mil sakte na?" Khushnuma asked.

(But they can not meet?)

"Kyu nahi mil sakte? Miya biwi hain."

(And why they can not meet? They are husband and wife.)

"Ammi, yeh toh rasm haina." Rubab was also confused by this. Naziya Begum could never compromise with her culture and traditions.

(Ammi, that's tradition.)

"Haan toh, rams ke hisab se Ayat bahar toh nahi ja rahi, lekin ghar walo se kaisa pardah? Aur Hanan miya hai uska, kyu nahi mil sakte dono."

(Yeah so, according to the ritual, Ayat does not go out, but she can meet family members. And Hanan is her husband, why can't she meet him.)

"Lekin Kaif aur Ayla bhi toh..." Confusingly, Khushnuma started saying, but Naziya Begum interrupted her.

(But, even Kaif and Ayla...)

"Tab ki baat aur thi, aur unka function bhi sath hi hua tha, Ayat aur Hanan ke bhi sarey function sath honge. Mehendi bhi."

(That was different, and even their function was held together, and Hanan and Ayat's every function will happen together, even mehendi.)

Both Rubab and Khushnuma shared a look, wondering what could make Naziya Begum change her mind. She was strict when it was other grandkids wedding, but for Hanan and Ayat, she was ready to change some rules.

•••

"Zaroor Hanan ne shikayat ki hogi, main achhe se janti hoon iss larke ko." Khushnuma told Rubab as they left Naziya Begum's room.

(I am sure Hanan have complained to her. I know this boy very well.)

Rubab laughed at her comment but didn't say anything.

•••

The wedding preparations for Hanan and Ayat's are in full swing in the haveli. The wedding invitations have been sent out, everyone in the haveli were busy instructing the helpers to decorate the haveli with colorful flowers, lights, and drapes. The air is filled with the sweet scent of jasmine and roses, and the sound of laughter and chatter.

•••

Spreading the duvet on the bed, Shyra looked at Kabir who was angrily typing on his laptop. He didn't glance at her since they returned to their room after dinner. He was upset.

"Kabir!" Sitting down on the bed beside him, she softly calls him. But he ignored her. Nervously, she twirled a strand of hair around her finger, wondering what to say.

"Mujhe samajh nahi araha aap upset kyu hain." At last, she spoke up. Her words made his fingers stopped.

(I can not understand why you are upset.)

He looked at her with blank look. They just talked about it in the evening, and she is still clueless? He didn't say anything, and again turned to his laptop.

Shyra's eyes narrowed on his behaviour. She doesn't have habit of coaxing anyone. Scowling, she put duvet on her body and laid down, her back facing him.

Kabir looked at her with disbelief. "Arey! Tumhara shohar tumse naraz hai aur tum sone ja rahi ho?" He complained.

(Your husband is upset with you and you are going to sleep?)

"Haan toh maloom bhi toh ho kyu naraz hai? Yeh unreasonable baat pe naraz hue hain toh main nahi manaugi." Without looking at him, she told him.

(Yeah so tell me the reason why you are upset. If you are upset over small thing, I am not gonna apologise.)

"Unreasonable?" Kabir's mouth hanged open. "Apne time pe toh mujhe satati ho, ab main naraz hoon toh unreasonable hai?"

(You give me hard times when you are upset, and now I am upset so I am being unreasonable?)

"Main bewajah naraz nahi hoti." Sitting up, she looked at him and said.

(I don't get upset over small things.)

"Shyra, abhi uss din tum mujhse naraz thi kyuki main meeting mein tha aur tumhari call receive nahi ki thi." Kabir reminded her.

(Shyra, that day you got upset because I was in a meeting and didn't receive your call.)

Shyra's face flushed on the reminder, but she quickly covered it up. "Haan toh, larki main hoon ya aap?"

(Yeah so, I am the girl not you.)

Kabir was speechless, he knew he could never win an argument with her. Shaking his head, he again turned to his laptop.

Shyra's lips formed a pout, as her heart sank. She knew that she had been neglecting him lately, but she didn't realize how much it was affecting him.

"Achha kya karu aap bataye." She asked, tiredly. "Ab shadi hai toh ghar mein toh kaam honge na."

(Tell me what should I do.)

(There is a wedding in the house, there will be lots of work to do.)

"Toh kya sarey tum karti ho kya? Subah office jata hoon toh kahi na kahi busy rehti ho, shaam ko aau toh bhi tum pata nahi kaha rehti ho. Aj toh hadd hi ho gayi, maid ne chai di mujhe."

(As if you do all the work? When I leave for office then you are busy, I return from office, even then you are busy. You didn't even give me tea today. Maid did.)

"Apko pehle bhi toh maid hi chai deti thi."

(Maid used to serve you tea before too.)

"Tab shadi nahi hui thi meri. Ab main chahta hoon main office se aau toh apni biwi ke sath baithke chai piyu, din bhar mein kya hua woh sab share karu. Lekin tumhare liye toh ghar mein sab kaam zaroori hai ek mujhe chorhke,"

(I wasn't married then. Now I am married and I want that whenever I return from office, I want my wife to be with me, with whom I will share what happened in the day. But to you, everything is important except for me.)

"Shadi ka ghar hai, kaam hote hain itne..." She tried to explain him.

(There will be a wedding, there are lots of work...)

"Tum karti ho kaam? Pehle toh koi bhi shadi hoti thi tum apne kamre se nahi nikalti thi."

(You do the work? Before, you didn't use to leave your room.)

"Pehle ki baat bhi toh aur thi, tab meri shadi nahi hui thi. Ab meri shadi ke baad ghar ki pehli shadi hai, badi mami bas chahti hain Main dekhu kaise handle karna hota hai."

(That was different, I wasn't married then. Now I am married, and mami wants me to se everything and know how these things happens.)

"Haan toh tum yeh sab dekho kaise handle karna hota hai, Shohar ki toh fikar hi mat karo."

(Then you go and learn how these things happen. Don't worry about your husband.)

"Aisi baat nahi hai, Kabir. Aap jante hain aap mere liye kitne zaroori hain, I care about you more than anything." She said, reaching out to hold his arm.

(It's not like that, Kabir. You know how important you are to me.)

Kabir looked at her hand then again at her. "Care karti ho toh dikhana bhi hota hai."

(If you care for me then show it.)

"Kya aap wakai mein itna naraz hain?" Shyra could not understand how he is angry just because she is busy.

(Are you really that upset?)

"Lijiye, hath jorhti hoon, kaan pakarhti hoon, maaf kar dijiye." Holding her ears, she apologised. Kabir's eyes softens slightly.

(Here, I am joining my hands, holding mu ears,  I am sorry.)

"Pehle promise karo chahe jitna bhi kaam ho main office se aunga toh koi kaam nahi karogi sirf mere sath rahogi."

(First promise me no matter how much work there is, whenever I will return from office, you will leave all of that and be with me only.)

"Badi mami... achha theek hai promise." Shyra started saying, but when Kabir gave her hard eyes, she agreed.

(But mami... okay, promise.)

"Maaf kiya." Wrapping his arm around her, he told her. A beautiful smile fall on Shyra's face, as her heart swelled with love for him. Shyra rested her head on his chest, feeling grateful to have him in her life.

(I forgive you.)

•••

Kaif sat at the kitchen table with Azrin, a box of crayons and a stack of paper between them. They were both focused intently on their drawings, their tongues poking out of their lips in concentration.

"Azrin, sky ka colour kya hota hai?" Kaif looked at Azrin and asked.

"Blue," Looking up, she gave him a toothy smile and answered, her smile made him smile too.

"Toh aap green kyu kar rahi ho?"

"Mujhe pasand hai green." Her straightforward answer came. Making him laugh wholeheartedly.

(I like green.)

"Theek hai agar apko pasand hai. Fir bird ka konsa colour karein." Pinching Azrin's cheek, Kaif asked.

(Fine if you like it. What should we colour the birds)

"Pink." Azrin said, excitedly.

Kaif smiled and passed her the pink crayon to colour the birds. Ayat and Azrin continued to draw together, with Kaif helping Azrin with the details and colors.

After they were done, Azrin happily picked it up and showed Kaif.

"Bohot pyara hai," Kaif praises her, feeling proud of Azrin's art work.

(It's beautiful.)

"Papa, hum issey frame karein?" Getting down, she jumped excitedly and asked

(Aunt, can we frame it?)

"Haan, kyu nahi." Kaif nods his head, in fact he would put it on his bedroom's wall.

"Mere kamre mein frame hai." Azrin informed him.

(I have a frame in my room.)

Together, they went to Ayla's room to take the frame

Azrin was right, there was an empty frame there in ayla's side drawer, Kaif picked it up, in doing so, he grabbed some papers too which fell down to his feet.

Kaif looked down and was about to pick it up, but Azrin called her.

"Papa, mila?"

(Papa, did you get it?)

"Haan, mil gaya." Closing the drawer, Kaif went to Azrin and take her drawing to frame it.

(Yes, I got it.)

"Main nani ko dikha ke ayi." Azrin become excited, taking it from Kaif, she ran out of room.

(I will show this to nani.)

Kaif was about to follow after her but then remembers about the papers. Going there, he picked them to put them back to the drawer when he saw what papers it is. It was separation papers, and his letter.

Kaif's heart sank as he recalled the day when he signed  these papers.

He was in hospital, holding Azrin in his arms. She was so small, used to fit in his arms perfectly. It had been the most emotional day of his life. He had been so overwhelmed with love and joy holding her, tears streaming down his face as he looked into her tiny, perfect features. He now understands Azlan's worry for Ayla, he understands why Azlan is reluctant to have Kaif anywhere near Ayla, because even he won't let anyone who hurts his daughter near her again.

Kissing her forehead, Kaif turned to Ayla, who was laying on the bed, she hadn't regained her consciousness yet. It was making everyone worried.

Placing Azrin back in her cot, Kaif went to Ayla, holding her hand, he sat on the stool beside the bed.

"Bohot pyari beti di hai tumne mujhe." Smiling through the wet eyes, he told her. "Tum sahi thi, Ayla, yeh environment humari beti ke liye bilkul theek nahi. Main nahi chahta humare roz roz ke jhagre se uski mental health pe koi bhi affect aye." He stopped to take a deep breath out.

(You have given me the most precious gift.)

(You were right, Ayla, this environment is not right for our daughter. I don't want our daughter to witness our quarrel and it would affect her mental health.)

"Hum co parenting kar sakte hain right?" He asked, "Shayad nahi," and answered for himself too. She wasn't gooin to answer, neither was she hearing him.

(We can do co parenting right?)

(Maybe not.)

"Tumhare aur aur humari beti ke liye yahi behtar hoga agar main tum dono ki zindagi mein na rahu. Tumhare sath rahunga toh tumhe baar baar yeh sab yaad ayega na, aur na chahte hue inn sab ka asar humari beti pe hoga." He put his hand on her forehead, and leaned to kiss her there.

(It would be better for you and our daughter if I stay away from you. If I stay here, you will keep remembering the pain which I gave you, and no matter what, it would affect our daughter too.)

"Aur yeh mat sochna tumhare hosh mein aney ka wait kyu nahi kiya maine." Clearing his throat to stop himself from crying, Kaif told her. 

(And do not think why I would wait for you to wake up.)

"Kamzor ho jaunga, aur jo sahi hai woh nahi kar paunga. Aur waise bhi mujhe tumpe pura yakeen hai, bohot achhi mummy banogi tum, aur bohot achha khayal rakhogi humari beti ka. Tum bohot strong ho, I am proud of you."

(I would become weak, and won't able to do what's right. And I believe in you, you will be a really great mother. You are very strong.)

It was then that he made the difficult decision to leave Ayla, for the sake of their daughter. It had been a painful choice, but he knew it was the thing to do. He wanted his daughter to grow up in a happy, healthy environment, free from the tension and conflict that had plagued their marriage.

Kaif's eyes again filled with tears as he recalled the day. But he also felt a sense of peace wash over him. Ayla had indeed did a great job of parenting Azrin.

With a deep breath, Kaif was about to put the paper back when his eyes fall on the separation paper. His eyes widened when he saw there was no signature of Ayla.

•••

In draft, there were more scenes but then I deleted them, I thought should keep this short and quick. I mean this is not short ik, but draft version was 10k long, and... usko edit karna bohot mushkil tha bhai, uppar se watty bhi hang karte hain, abhi bhi kar rahe hain zyada long chapter likhlo toh🙄

Khair, how's the chapter? Liked it? Do vote and comment. 💕

-Ufaq

P.S. these days, whenever I am listening to any wedding song, I am just imagining HanYat's wedding... like imagine Hanan dancing on tenu leke main jaunga 🤭