04- 'butterflies are good'

MANDARIN ORIENTAL HYDE PARK, LONDON HOTEL
london, england
february 23, 2024
saturday
12pm

i sat in my hotel room on facetime with my mom going over things that i need to know for today.

~~

FACETIME

~~

"first three days went well," i said, my voice a bit hoarse from all the singing i'd been doing.

my mom smiled from the screen, looking pleased. "im glad, kacey. how are you holding up?"

"i'm tired, but it's all worth it," i replied with a tired grin. "the audiences have been amazing, and the adrenaline rush is unreal."

my mom nodded, her expression filled with pride. "i'm glad you're enjoying yourself. just remember to take care of yourself too, okay?"

i nodded, knowing my mom was just looking out for me. "i will, i promise. i've been getting enough sleep and eating properly." i assured her.

she seemed satisfied with my answer and changed the subject. "so how are you handling everything with the media asking about jacob?"

i sighed, feeling a pang of discomfort at the mention of jacob. "it's exhausting, honestly. everywhere i go, they're asking about the breakup and what went wrong."

my mom gave me a sympathetic look. "i know it's hard, but try not to let it get to you too much. they'll move on eventually." she paused momentarily before continuing, "and you're gonna wanna be on your a-game tonight. some celebrities are going to be at your concert." she informed me.

i raised my eyebrows in surprise. "really? like who?" i asked, curious to know which famous faces would be in attendance.

"well your family for one." she said before continuing, "and some other pop singers."

i was pleasantly surprised to hear that family would be there but my curiosity only increased as she mentioned other pop singers. "like who?" i probed, my interest piqued.

"harry styles, dua lipa, and taylor swift." my mom rattled off.

my eyes widened in surprise. those were some big names. "seriously? all of them?" i asked, still a little shocked.

my mom chuckled at my reaction. "seriously," she confirmed. "they're all huge fans of yours and wanted to see you perform. it's quite an honor, honey."

°˖✧✿✧˖°

EVENTIM APOLLO
london, england
5pm

i was getting into the zone, running through my setlist with daisy. tonight's concert was at the eventim apollo in london, and the energy was already palpable.

"okay, let's run it from the top, one more time." i said to daisy as she nodded in agreement.

the music started and i began to sing. daisy's voice harmonized perfectly with mine as we sang together. the energy between us was electric.

we were finishing up the last song of the rehearsal when the stage director came up to us. "just a heads up, some big celebs are in the audience tonight," they informed me.

"so i've heard." i said with a small laugh as daisy and i made our way off the stage and backstage. backstage, my team was busy getting everything ready for the concert. makeup artists were touching up my look, stylists were making sure every detail of my outfit was in place, and stage crew were going over the cues for the show.

i was sitting in my dressing room, going over my set list and mentally preparing myself for the concert when there was a knock on the door.

"come on in!" i said.

the door opened and dua lipa walked in, a smile on her face. "hey kacey, you ready for tonight?" she asked as she made her way over to me.

"dua! hey...yeah, i'm stoked." i said in a surprised tone.

dua sat down next to me, her eyes scanning over my outfit. "you look amazing, by the way," she complimented me.

i smiled, feeling a bit flustered. "thank you, that means a lot coming from you."

i then noticed dua kept looking at the door, i raised my eyebrows. "what's wrong?"

dua chuckled at me, realizing she'd been caught. "nothing, i'm just waiting for someone." she explained.

as if right on cue, the door opened and in walked a tall, brown haired, blue eyed man. i raised my eyebrows at the guy as i tried to pinpoint where i've seen him before. callum turner. i recognized his face from a party of barry keoghan's that i'd attended with jacob in the past. he walked in with a charming smile and an air of confidence that immediately filled the room.

"callum!" dua exclaimed, standing up to give him a hug. "glad you could make it." she said as they embraced.

"wouldn't miss it for the world," callum replied with a grin as he broke away from the hug. he turned his gaze to me, recognition immediately flashing in his eyes. "kacey jenner. good to see you again." he said, walking over to me and offering his hand.

i shook his hand, a smile on my face. "yeah, i thought i recognized you. from barry keoghan's party, right?" i said, recalling the party where i'd seen him before.

"that's right. good memory." callum chuckled as he took a seat next to me.

dua looked back and forth between us. "so you two know each other already?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"we've met before, briefly." callum explained. "but it's nice to see a familiar face." he smiled at me.

dua nodded, seemingly satisfied with the explanation. "well, perfect. we'll leave you guys to catch up a bit. i'm gonna grab something to eat really quick. i think i spotted a vending machine out there." and with that, dua left the room, leaving me and callum alone.

there was a brief moment of silence as i looked at callum. i couldn't deny that he was attractive. those blue eyes, that charming smile, he was definitely my type. after a moment, i decided to speak up. "so, how have you been?" i asked, breaking the silence.

callum smiled lazily, running a hand through his hair. "can't complain. been working on some projects, keeping busy." he replied. "it's good to just relax and watch a great show though."

i chuckled, feeling a bit of a flush creeping up my neck. "i'm assuming you're here for the concert, then?"

he nodded, grinning. "yep. i'm a fan, what can i say?"

something about the way he smiled at me and the way he was looking at me was making my heart flutter just a bit. i couldn't help but smile back. "well, i'm glad you could make it. it'll be a great show, i promise."

"oh i have no doubts about that." he said with a smirk, his eyes never leaving mine for a second. the way he was looking at me, it was almost like he was...flirting? i swallowed, my heart beating just a bit faster. there was definitely attraction there, but i tried to play it cool.

"so you and dua?" i said wanting to know they're relationship with each other.

callum chuckled, realizing where i was going with my question. "no, we're not together." he explained. "we've known each other for a while, used for date, but we're just really good friends now. strictly platonic."

i couldn't help but feel a pang of relief upon hearing his explanation. i'd be lying if i said i wasn't interested in callum. "oh really?" i said with a smile, trying to keep my composure.

he looked at me with a sly grin, seemingly sensing the tension between us. "now last time i saw you, you were with barry's friend, jacob." callum pointed out.

"i was, yeah." i replied, my smile faltering a bit at the mention of jacob. the thought of my breakup with him still stung a bit.

callum's smile faded as well, sensing my change in mood. "oh, sorry...i didn't mean to-" he began, but i cut him off with a wave of my hand.

"no, no. it's fine." i reassured him. "it's just still a little raw, you know?"

he nodded, understanding. "heartbreak's a pain in the ass." he said. "i've been there before." he paused before continuing, "so it's a recent breakup?" he asked.

i chuckled bitterly. "yeah. very." i said, leaning back on the couch. "it all just happened this past month and it feels like my head is still spinning." i sighed before speaking again, "and the media won't give me a break about it."

callum frowned, his expression sympathetic. "that sounds rough. paparazzi can be assholes." he said, seemingly understanding what i was going through. "it's like they're sharks, constantly circling and waiting to pounce on any sign of weakness they can find."

i nodded, grateful that someone actually understood what i was going through. "yeah, exactly." i agreed. "it's like they're vultures, just waiting to pick apart every little thing i do and turn it into a headline."

"well you look like you're handling it pretty well." he said with a smile. "much better than i would be, i'll tell you that."

i chuckled, feeling a bit flattered by his compliment. "thanks. but don't be fooled, i have my moments where i just want to hide under a rock and block out the world." i said, a small smile playing on my lips.

he chuckled, clearly amused by my response. "well, i guess it helps to have a killer show to distract you from all the noise." he said, gesturing to the concert hall.

i raised an eyebrow, surprised that he had shifted the conversation back to my performance tonight. "yeah, it does." i replied, my heart beating just a bit faster at the direction our conversation was heading.

"speaking of which, you nervous?" he asked, his tone shifting to something a bit more flirtatious. "first london show, huge audience. i'm sure you have your nerves."

i smiled, feeling the heat rising in my cheeks at his suggestive tone. "a little, yeah. i always get butterflies before performances."

he chuckled, his eyes lingering on me for a bit longer than necessary. "butterflies are good. they keep you on your toes. remind you that you're alive." he paused before continuing "besides, i'm sure you'll kill it out there. you've got the talent..." his gaze never leaving me.

my heart skipped a beat at his words. his voice was smooth, seductive, but there was a hint of sincerity in his eyes. he was saying more than just "you're talented." there was an underlying tension there. i tried to keep my cool, but his intense gaze was making my heart race.

"thank you." i said, my voice barely above a whisper. i jumped a bit at the sound of the door opening, the moment between me and callum suddenly broken. my mind was still reeling from our conversation and the electric tension that had filled the air.

dua walked in with the food, raising an eyebrow at how close callum and i were sitting to each other. "am i interrupting something?" she asked, a teasing smirk on her lips.

"no! no, we were just chatting." callum said a bit too quickly. i couldn't help but chuckle at his flustered demeanor. he was definitely flustered, i thought to myself.

dua smirked, clearly enjoying the tension in the room. "right. just chatting." she said, her tone dripping with insinuation.

i rolled my eyes playfully and pulled out my phone, opening it to instagram only to see someone posted a photo of me and jacob with it headlined 'engagement off.' i heard callum's deep voice next to me. "it was an engagement?"

i looked up, noticing callum's gaze lingered on my phone screen. my heart sank a bit, realizing he'd seen the headline.

"uh, yeah. it was." i said, feeling a pang of sadness wash over me as i thought about jacob.

the engagement was supposed to be a good thing, the next step in our relationship. but it all went downhill after jacob started getting more and more distant. i wasn't sure exactly what changed, but over time he just seemed to pull further and further away from me. i looked up at callum, noticing he had a sympathetic look on his face.

he looked from me to the phone screen before speaking, his expression turning curious. "the picture looks a little recent though." he observed, tilting his head to get a better look.

"yeah, it does, doesn't it?" i said with a bitter laugh. "it was taken about two weeks ago."

callum's eyebrows raised, surprised. "that recent?" he asked, not trying to pry but clearly intrigued. "i mean when you said the break up was raw, i didn't expect that raw."

i let out a sigh, feeling the weight of everything that had happened pressing down on me. "i'm surprised you haven't seen anything about it on the media."

"i don't really pay attention to the tabloids and gossip." callum said with a nonchalant shrug. "i'll occasionally glance at the headlines but never dig deeper. it's usually just a bunch of bullshit."

i couldn't help but smile a bit at his casual attitude towards the whole thing. "well, you're not missing much. it's all just trash and lies for the most part."

"and you're a jenner, you're always in the media." dua said before taking a bite of a chip inside her walkers chip bag.

i chuckled bitterly. "tell me about it." i said, shaking my head. "it's like the paparazzi are constantly lurking around every corner, waiting for me to do something even remotely interesting."

then daisy's voice from the stage could be heard. her voice snapped us out of our conversation, reminding us that the show had now started. in all honesty, i was grateful for the interruption. my heart was still beating fast from mine and callum's conversation and i needed a moment to collect myself.

"you guys should get out there, you don't want to miss too much of daisy's set." i said to them as i looked at callum, noticing that he seemed reluctant to leave. he must have been enjoying our talk just as much as i had.

callum chuckled, running a hand through his dark brown hair. "you're right." he said, looking at me with a soft expression. "we should go." he stood up, turning to dua who was also standing up. "ready?" he asked her.

"ready." she replied with a smile before turning to me. "good luck out there, break a leg!"

i smiled at her, feeling a wave of nerves wash over me. "thanks, i'll need it."

°˖✧✿✧˖°

8:15

after daisy's set i made my way onto the stage. the applause from the crowd was loud and thunderous as i walked onto the stage. the energy in the room was electric, and i couldn't help but feel a mix of excitement and nervousness. i took my place in front of the mic stand, taking a deep breath as i looked out at the sea of faces in the audience.

my heart was pounding in my chest as i prepared myself for what was to come. i was never one to shy away from performing, but this audience was different. they were here for me. they were here to hear my music.

i raised the mic to my lips, a smile on my face. "thank you so much for coming tonight!" i said into the mic, my voice echoing through the auditorium. the crowd cheered louder, and i felt a rush of adrenaline as i continued speaking. "this is a special show for me. i can't believe i'm actually here, in london, performing for all of you!" the crowd cheered again, and i couldn't help but feel a sense of gratitude and joy wash over me. performing was always a rush, but this was different. this was my first european tour, and it was all so surreal.

as i looked into the crowd, my eyes landed on callum's. his gaze was intense, and it made my heart skip a beat for a moment. but i quickly composed myself, taking a deep breath and focusing on the performance at hand. i started singing my first song of the night, 'space cowboy,' my voice carrying through the auditorium and echoing through the space. the sound of the crowd sang along fueled me, making me sing even louder and more passionately.

°˖✧✿✧˖°

10:20pm

the show ended with lights flashing and applause from the crowd. i was breathing heavily, adrenaline coursing through my body. i felt exhausted but exhilarated at the same time. i had given it my all out there, and it had paid off. i walked off the stage, feeling a sense of accomplishment and gratitude. the show had been a success, and i had given the crowd exactly what they wanted.

as i made my way backstage, i was greeted by my team who were all congratulating me on a great show. everyone seemed to be in high spirits, and i couldn't help but feel a sense of happiness and fulfillment. i went to change out of my performance clothes, and as i was putting on my normal clothes, i heard a knock on my dressing room door. it was my family. my mom, khloé, kim, kendall, kylie and my dad. i smiled at the familiar faces.

"you were amazing!" kim shrieked, rushing forward to give me a hug. my family was all gathered around me, their expressions proud and excited.

i smiled, feeling a wave of love and support from them. "thanks, you guys." i said, feeling a little emotional.

"seriously, you killed it out there." kylie agreed, giving me a hug of her own. "you sounded incredible, and you looked gorgeous!" i chuckled, feeling a blush creeping up my cheeks at their compliments.

"kourtney couldn't make it, she had to uh-" kim started to choke as she couldn't think of an excuse.

"it's okay, i know kourt well enough to know that coming to one of my shows is one of the last things she'd do." i said as i shrugged it off, it didn't bother me that kourtney and i weren't close. we always butt heads.

my family laughed at my comment, knowing that i was right. khloé playfully rolled her eyes. "some things never change, huh?" she said with a smile.

°˖✧✿✧˖°

11pm

as i walked outside to head to my driver's car i noticed the crowd of fans that had gathered outside the venue was huge. people were holding up signs and screaming my name. i couldn't help but smile as i approached the fans, signing autographs and taking photos with them. they were so excited to have a moment with me, and it made all the hard work and effort worth it.

after a while of signing i was ushered into the car where i sat in the backseat alone as the car drove to the hotel. as i looked out the window, i couldn't help but search the crowd in hopes of seeing callum, i knew he wasn't out there but i still wanted to see his face again.

°˖✧✿✧˖°

MANDARIN ORIENTAL HYDE PARK, LONDON HOTEL
london, england
12am

as i laid in bed i chewed a crunchie chocolate bar as i scrolled my phone.

~~

INSTAGRAM
kaceyjenner

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kaceyjenner london night 1. you guys keep my world spinnin 🤎

view all 27,738 comments

user1 kacey is so pretty

user2 gotta be the worst nepo

krisjenner ❤️❤️😘😘

daisynewton the best
⤷ kaceyjenner you're the best daisy 🤍 couldn't have asked for a better opener

user3 had such a fun night!!

haileybieber ❤️

taylorswift you sounded beautiful on stage 💖🫶🏻
⤷ kaceyjenner thank you taylor!!

~~

letting curiosity get the best of me, i opened the search bar on instagram and looked up, 'callum turner.' as i searched for callum's instagram page, i was surprised to find that nothing came up. no official accounts, just fan pages. i frowned, wondering if i had searched it wrong. i tried again, this time searching 'callumturner.' still, nothing but fan pages and clickbait celeb news articles came up. i felt a confused frown on my face. why didn't callum have an instagram account? most celebrities had one, and i had assumed he was no exception.

with a sigh i went on google. "callum turner instagram." i looked up, hoping it'd lead me to his account. but, the only thing were a couple articles headlined: "why british actor, callum turner, doesn't have instagram." "callum turner says social media just isn't for him." as i saw the headlines i couldn't help but smile as i thought about when callum told me he stays away from the media's posts. i guess he wasn't lying....