'don't say that she needs him that she needs him.' - her's

a couple of days have passed since we lost tess. joel has gone quieter than he was before. we still have no car which means we are traveling by foot. joel made the wise decision to move us out of atlanta and closer to south carolina where he thinks his friend might be. "joel." i call after him. "joel, stop." i say again and he stops and turns to look at me. "we've been walking for hours it's almost dark. i'm tired. can we stop?" i plead and he sighs. "fine." he says turning back around to continue up the road. 

a house appears to the right of us and joel pulls out his gun. "stay close." he says opening the front door. we sweep all the rooms and find nothing but a dead dude and some rats. "well that'll do." i say plopping down on the couch. "looks like our friend here has interesting taste in magazines." i say picking up one from next to the sofa. "isa, those aren't for kids." joel says getting up from the chair across from the couch. "hang on, i wanna see what all the fuss is about." i say holding the magazine away from his reach. "woah! how the hell would he even walk around with that thing!" i exclaim looking at the page.

"isa." joel says. "okay fine. wait, why are all these pages stuck together?" i ask jokingly. "um." joel mumbles sinking into the chair. "i'm fucking with you." i reply tossing the magazine into his lap. he pushes it off in disgust and dramatically dusts off his lap. "go to sleep you've been complainin' all day." joel says throwing his coat to me to use as a blanket. "i'm not tired or cold." i reply throwing the coat back at him. "okay then." joel says standing up and walking into the other room. a few minutes later my eyes start to give way and i fall asleep, proving joel right once again.

i get a few hours of sleep but i'm woken up by joel's snoring. i grunt and push his coat off of me. i get up from the couch wandering the house to find the bathroom. i open the door and jump at the view of myself in the mirror. my red hair is all knotted in tight curls and dirty, my face is coated with grim, my blue eyes look lost on my face- i look unrecognizable. i start by attempting to detangle my hair. i run my fingers through it pulling out the knots till it's not frizzy anymore. then i rub the dirt off my face. 

i give up on fixing my appearance and i walk back to the living room and loudly flop onto the couch and joel wakes up. "you snore." i say resting my arm over my face. "you talk." he replies and i sit up. "i do not." i say and shuts his eyes again. "what time is it?" i ask standing up and checking his watch since my father's had broke a while ago, yet i still wear it around my wrist. "you're watch is broken too." i say. "i know." he replies shortly standing up from the chair and storming off into the other room. i walk down the hall to the room next to the bathroom hoping to find a clock. i open the door and the walls are painted light pink, much like my old room. i sit down on the bed and look around at the boyband posters and makeup magazines. 

the door opens and joel walks in. "looks like a barbie threw up in here." he says. "is this really what i'm missing? boys. movies. deciding what shirt goes with which skirt. it's weird." i say. "get up. we're leaving." joel replies. "i don't wanna." i say standing up. i am tired of walking aimlessly around and part of me doesn't even want to go to new york i just don't want to be alone again. "do you even understand how meaningful your life is? huh? i bet this girl is our roamin' around lookin' for her next meal. you should be grateful you're even alive." joel argues.

"well, then i guess we are both disappointed." i reply. "what do you want from me?" joel asks walking closer. "admit you just want to get rid of me! i'm such a problem and a burden to you! i see it on your face every time i look at you!" i shout. "stop yelling." he says. "no fuck you! stop with the bullshit." i argue. "isa, stop it." joel says putting his hands on his hips. "what are you so afraid of, huh? that i'm going to get bit and end up like tess? i can take care of myself." i reply. "how many close calls have we had since we met?" he yells. "well, we're still here!" i yell back. "we might not be tomorrow!" he shouts. 

"i'm not her you know." i say as he turns away from me. "what?" he scoffs. "tess told me about your kid." i say recalling when tess told me why joel acts like this. "isa, you are treading on some mighty thin ice." he scolds. "i'm sorry about your daughter, joel, but i've lost people too." i say calmly. "you have no idea what loss is." joel replies through his teeth and i feel my face drop all tension. "everyone i have cared for has either died or left me everyone- fucking except for you!" i yell pushing him. ever since my father died i was always hoping someone would come and save me and someone did. even though joel hates my guts he reminds me of my father.

"you're right. you're not my daughter, and i sure as hell ain't your dad. to me you're just cargo." joel says slamming the door behind him. the minute the door closes the tears fall. i haven't known joel long but i can't go back to being alone, being alone gets you killed. "joel, i'm sorry. okay?!" i shout running into the living room to find joel held at gunpoint by the men from that terminus place. "you bomb my home, steal my food, kill my people, and you thought you'd get away? i don't think so, kid." gareth says. "let him go." i say attempting to stand my ground even though i have no weapons. gareth laughs and flips his gun in his hand. "she's got a mouth on her!" he says looking back at his friends. 

"you know, i always found that brunettes tasted the best." gareth says moving my hair off my shoulder with his gun. i swing my elbow back, hard, hitting him right in the nose and joel is able to wiggle from the man's grip right as a gun goes off. i pick up my bag while gareth is holding his nose and rolling around on the ground and joel and i slip out the front door. i start running but notice joel isn't beside me. "joel, what the fuck? run!" i shout and i watch him stumble as quick as he can toward me. he gets closer and i see the red pouring from his side. he looks like he's about to puke, faint, and fall at the same time so i grab ahold of him dragging him into the woods. 

his weight is too much for me to carry so we both fall over. he looks at me with fear-filled eyes as i rip a piece of my sweater and hold it to his side. "fuck. fuck. fuck. joel, you gotta tell me what to do." i say panicking and ripping his shirt off. he grunts at my touch and grabs my arm squeezing it. "joel, come on. stay with me." i say watching his body relax. "joel, please. i can't do this without you. i need help." i say and he grabs my hand. "leave." he mumbles and i look at him with tears staining my cheeks. "take my guns, go north." he says and i shake my head. "no. shut up." i say wiping my face with my bloody hand. "leave, isa." joel mutters. "fucking shut up, joel!" i yell pressing down on his bullet wound. "take the guns and go." he says and i reach for the gun beside him after hesitation. i take my coat off and wrap it over him. "i'll be back." i say.

quickly i descended from the trees finding a small cottage west of joel. the door is already open and the windows are all shattered. i knock once on the door to call out any infected and after it's clear, i go inside with my run raised. the house is messy, ransacked really, so there isn't much left. i rush to the bathroom throwing open the drawers looking for anything i can use to help joel. after rummaging through and finding nothing the kitchen seems to be my last chance. i open all the drawers and at the last one, i pull out some needles and thread, which must have been for sowing clothes. i shove it in my pocket and run outside back to joel. 

i see him laying still in the leaves as i walk up. he is crying. i didn't think joel could cry. i crouch down and grab his hand as he watches me with tears dripping down his cheeks. he silently lies there as i hold his hand and then pull the thread out of my pocket. i lift the fabric off his side and look at him once again. "i'm sorry." i say as i stick the needle through his skin and out to the other side. he groans and grabs onto my arm. i pull the string and sow up as fast as i can. 

about mid-way, joel passed out from the pain and now i just sit watching him breathe. slowly, his chest moves up and down and i refuse to take my eyes off of it. the leaves make my legs itch and i move up against joel as i was afraid to have my back to the woods. my gun lays loaded in my lap and i stare off into the woods then remember the cottage. i jump to my feet and rush over to joel's side. i grab his arm and attempt to stand up. "joel, wake up." i say failing to wake him up. "joel, fucking wake up." i repeat grabbing his arm again. he mumbles something, and leaning on me i get him standing. i sharply exhale and start to drag him to the cottage. 

thankfully it wasn't too far and after dumping joel on the mattress in the basement i board up the door with dressers and chairs. i run back downstairs and check his breathing again. he's still out and now it is just a waiting game. the cool wind blows against my skin and i shiver. i curl up next to joel for warmth and i shut my eyes hoping to get some sleep knowing it's all on me now.

i wake up to the same cool breeze that put me to sleep and i dread the upcoming winter. my stomach rumbles as i sit up and check joel's chest and wound. the area around the wound is yellow and passing. it is clearly infected so i make it a priority to go find food and maybe some medicine. my dad and i used to go hunting every thanksgiving and bring our own turkeys back. rabbits and squirrels can't be that much different. with a bit of struggle, i stick my boots on and climb out the window, refusing to open the door and allow something bad to come in with joel. i grab my gun and knife and head out into the trees. i find 2 sturdy sticks and make a clover trap to hopefully catch a deer or at least a rabbit, before leaving to go find a squirrel or two. 

the leaves in the trees blow and make the forest look alive. i stare at the leaves waving in the air i almost missed a wall standing in the middle of the woods. i feel like my mind is playing tricks on me when i hear chatter from the other side. i feel eyes watching me and scared it may be infected i wipe around to see a girl my age standing far into the trees watching me. "hey!" i call out and she runs off. i attempt to chase her but after i got to where she was standing i lost her. feeling defeated i walk back to my trap and see i caught a deer. i smile and unhook it from the trap when two men emerge from the trees. i pull my gun out and hold it up to their faces. 

"hey. we just want to talk." the one man says holding his hand out. "any sudden moves and i put one right between your eyes. ditto for buddy boy over there. what do you want?" i say trying to be intimidating while i know the best i could do is hit their knees. "my name is erik. this is my friend daniel. we're from a larger group- women, children, we're all very hungry." erik explains. "so am i- women, children, all hungry." i lie. "well uh, maybe we can work out a deal. trade you for some of that meat there. what do you need? weapons, ammo, clothes-" erik asks and i wonder why they are fighting this much over a rabbit. "medicine! do you have medicine like for an infection?" i ask desperately. "we do back at our camp. you're welcome to follow us." erik says. "i'm not following you anywhere." i respond more aggressively. 

"buddy boy can go get it. he comes back with what i need, it's all yours. anyone else shows up-" i say and erik cuts me off. "you put one right between my eyes." he answers. "that's right." i say. "two bottles of penicillin and a syringe." erik says to his friend and he sighs then walks back the other way. "i'll take that rifle." i say hinting to the one on his shoulder. "sure." he says taking it off laying down at my feet. "back up." i say reaching down and grabbing the rifle then swinging it over my shoulder. "he's probably going to be a while. you mind if we take some shelter from the cold?" erik asks and i hope he doesn't mean the cottage joel is in. "fine. bring him with us. go." i say motioning to the deer laying at my feet and he nods. we walk through the trees a bit and find a small cottage similar to the one joel is in. 

he opens the door and i follow with my new rifle pointed at him. he grabs some wood from the corner of the room and tosses it into the grimy fireplace starting a fire. he sits down on the floor and i sit across the room watching him still aiming for his head. "you know you really shouldn't be out here on your own." he says. "i don't like company." i reply vaguely. "fair enough. what's your name?" erik asks. "why?" i ask and he shrugs. "look. i understand it's difficult to trust a couple of strangers but i seriously mean no harm, and for what it's worth we have room in our group for you and your friend." erik explains. "your inviting me to your hunger club? yeah ill pass." i say. "it's true, we're hungry, but we're still here." erik says warming his hands over the fire. "i'm a decent man just trying to provide for the people who rely on me." erik adds.

"your their leader?" i ask. "kind of. i'm a right-hand man to the leader but we all care equally about our people." he explains. "right-hand man? you a part of some weird cult thing?" i ask. he laughs and shakes his head. "no, it's a community, but you sort of got me there. me personally, i'm a preacher for the people." he says. "you still believe in that shit?" i ask him. "i actually started believing after the world ended. before that i was a math teacher, taught kids about your age." he explains. "so you went from a teacher to a preacher cause what, it fucking rhymes?" i ask. "yeah, exactly." he jokes and i smirk a little. 

"but seriously." i say wanting an actual answer. "well, i found god after the apocalypse, which is either the best or worst time to find him, hard to say. but when the pittzburgh qz fell in 12', i left with a few others and we just kept growing." he answers. "long way from pittzburgh." i add. "yeah, we'd settle somewhere then raiders would come so we just kept moving. finally found the place we are in now and just expanded." erik says. "well, your luck had to run out sooner or later." i reply. "luck? i don't believe in luck. no, i believe everything happens for a reason. i can prove it to you." he says and i laugh at him. 

"okay." i say willing to hear what he has to say. "we didn't expect this winter to be so cruel. nothing'll grow. game's been hard to find. so our leader sent some of our men to a nearby town to scavenge what they could. none of them came back, one that didn't was a father. he had a daughter just like you, and her dad was taken from her. turns out he was bit in the neck by this crazy man, and get this. that crazy man was traveling with a kid. you see? everything happens for a reason." erik says smiling and my heart drops.

he definitely can't be talking about joel and i but the look in his eyes looks like he is ready to get up and shoot me. crunching of snow surrounds me. "daniel, lower the gun." erik says so i jump back holding my gun at daniel. "she is the one that killed dan, isn't she?" he asks as i stare down the barrel of his rife. "she didn't kill anyone. lower the gun." erik says as his friend slowly puts his gun down. "did you bring the medicine?" erik asks and daniel looks at him in disbelief. "throw it to her." erik says as daniel nods. "erik." daniel says shaking his head. erik just stares at him and daniel reaches into his pocket and tosses the medicine to me. i catch it and start running as fast as i can to the cabin. 

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

idk if this chapter makes sense.

basically, erik is negan's right-hand man who thinks of this brilliant idea to help the people of the sanctuary by turning them into cannibals unknowingly. erik and david set out to find food but then found isa and recalled some of his men (joe's group from season 4) were murdered by a man with a kid. (actually rick, carl, and michonne not joel and isa LOL). negan has no clue any of this is going on so if he were to find out it wouldn't end well for erik  and daniel lmao anyways yeah

this story really revolves around how small of a world it is and i've already had many little moments where the two groups have been at the same place at the same time, terminus when rick and glenn and daryl ran out of the room where they were almost killed, enid was the girl in the woods, the church that they stayed in was gabriel's church, and now the people that killed this father were actually rick's group and not joel and isa. 

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