"the questions that i'd ask you, where did it all go wrong? there's endless versions of the thing that keeps driftin' back to darkness." - louis tomlinson

"grid two's clear." daryl says as his voice cracks over the walkie i hold in my hand. cyndie stands beside me as we scan the woods around us. "three's clear." rick adds from a crack from the walkie. "grid four is clear too." i say clicking the button on the side. "piper one, anything in top?' rick asks and cyndie follows behind me as we walk down the path in the trees. "we're good." dianne replies from back at hilltop. two walkers catch my eye as they walk into the tree line. "we got activity over here. gonna go check it out." i tell rick. "we're headed your way, grid five do the same." rick orders. "there's a house up ahead, off the road. could be from there. we used to live near here. before oceanside." cyndie says. 

the growling of the dead grows louder and a distant banging can be heard from up the road. a red truck is parked off the road and a house is visible from the street. walkers surround the house, reaching up at a sign that is banging against the house in the wind. "okay. we got to take it out before it draws more. you good to follow my lead?" i ask her taking the bow from my back and putting an arrow in the string. "already there." she replies pulling out her knife. "you get the roof. i'll get them." i say letting an arrow fly, hitting one of the walkers through the head. a few look back and start trotting our way as cyndie runs to the side of the house. 

i take a deep breath and start slowly walking toward the house, hitting the few stragglers with my knife. "over here!" i shout to the dead and they all turn. they all start walking toward me except one who stands under the sign. i see cyndie walk up to it in the corner of my eye. i stab my knife through the heads of the walkers surrounding me. a loud crash booms at the house and i throw the last walker off of me. the wooden panels nailed to the door of the house snap and walkers spill out onto the porch. cyndie lays on the porch with her leg stuck in the wooden planks.

i grab the walker closest to her and toss it off, stabbing the one in the head that grabs my shoulder. cyndie gets free and stumbles forward. i push the other few walkers back into the house, stabbing them in the head as they come out. one grabs ahold of cyndie and she holds it away from her as it squishes her up against the railing. the walkers continue to spill out of the front door into my arms. my knife starts to slip in my hand from all the blood. the sound of an arrow whips by and shoots straight through the walker holding cyndie. i stab the last three walkers crowding the door and their bodies drop on my feet. 

rick, rosita, and daryl run up the porch. rick and rosita run inside the house to clear any remaining walkers while daryl walks over to me, grabbing my arm. i catch my breath, holding my hands on my knees. warmth trickles down my arm and i notice a large cut on my arm. "you all right?' daryl asks. "yeah." cyndie answers panting. "yeah, just a cut." i answer standing up straight and wiping the blood from my face. i grab a stick from the ground and walk over to the sign, pushing it off the roof. "what happened to grid five?" rosita asks as rick and her walk out. "should've been here before you guys." i answer. "grid five, what's your status?" rick asks into the walkie.

with no answer, the five of us walk through the woods toward grid five's last known location. cyndie runs up ahead and crouches down to bea's body lying in the dirt. i rush over and check her pulse. "i've got a pulse. bea, are you okay? can you hear me?" i ask taking off my backpack and opening it up. she groans and i help her roll over. she rubs her head as she sits up. "you okay, what happened?" i ask her checking her head for any wounds or bruises. "arat called in all clear, we headed towards the road and...i don't know. something hit me from behind." she answers rubbing her head. 

"and arat?" rick asks. "i don't know." bea answers. with cyndie's help, she stands up and daryl hands her her weapon. "whoever did this took her." rosita says walking up to us with arat's knife and walkie. 

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

"we need to find her." rick says as we all stand in a circle in a tent back at the halfway campsite. "do the saviors know?" cyndie asks. "not yet. they think arat's on watch till later tonight." carol answers. i don't see much of her anymore. she found her home at the kingdom and only visits when necessary. "she could be dead already." maggie adds. "if we don't figure out what happened, sanctuarys gone." carol says and i can't seem to see how that would be a terrible thing for us at hilltop. "if that happens, we won't finish the work before the water rises. we'll lose the bridge." rick explains. "yo. say we nab the perp. then what? who decides what happens next? is it gonna be a 'gregory' or...a 'negan'?" jerry asks. 

rick looks at me and then down at his feet. "well, whoever it is, when the time comes they'll get what they deserve." cyndie answers. "pair up with someone you trust. we're out there till we find her." rick says and everyone walks out. "how are we gonna do this, rick?" i ask him as he sticks a walkie in his belt. "we're gonna do this right." he answers. "that's not what i mean. how are the saviors going to act even after we find her? if it was one of our people they would retaliate." i explain. "there is no 'our people their people' we are all here fighting for the same thing. we all want the bridge done, and communities safe and fed. it'll work out, isa, trust me on this." he says walking out of the tent.

"you comin'?" daryl asks after a moment peaking his head in. "yeah." i mumble., following him out. silently we walk through the trees. the best thing about daryl--he doesn't hover. the wind blows through the leaves as they sway. the sounds of distant birds chirp above us. "i knew it'd be hard, but all this? do you think rick is right? is he doing right by our people?" i say walking beside him. "it's not your choice or mine. rick just wants everyone to have it like the rest of us." he answers. 

"i saw it starting again, the people picking sides after the saviors found out about justin. if we don't find arat we're gonna have to fight. i won't do that again. i won't put charlie through it." i say and he just listens as i talk. "if it comes to a fight i'll take her and go." i add and he looks at me. "i can't stand around and watch more people get killed." i sigh. "it won't come to that." he says finally. "every day since rick saved negan that day on the hill, i have this feeling, normally when i first wake up. a feeling that i should just go to alexandria and kill him, to keep going, finish them all. in that moment it's the only thing i want. it only lasts for a split second till i look at charlie and remember all the people we lost, and how many more people we'd lose." i explain.

"part of me wishes i could see things rick's way, look forward not back. every time i look at charlie, i think about how things could've been. and i can't let that go." i add. "you don't have to. i haven't." daryl answers. "what rick's doing is right for the future. it's better for charlie." i say and growling interrupts us. daryl walks in front of me and lifts his bow. a walker is slowly crawling towards a body lying in the dirt. "i'll get it." i say pulling out my bow and shooting the walker in the head. i turn and look at the body. it's a girl, possibly my age, i don't recognize her but the arrow sticking out of her chest peaks daryl's interest. "i know who took arat." he says pulling out the arrow. 

i follow behind him as he eagerly walks through the woods. quickly the sun falls and the moon rises. the woods grow dark and eerie. the small cracks underneath our boots echo through the vacant trees. a small side road emerges from the darkness. a fallen gate filled with signs creeks under us as we walk. "how do you know about this place?" i ask daryl as he shines his small flashlight around a cement building. 

"i think this is where they lived before. that's what i'd do." he answers. "hey." i say walking up to three cans of fuel sitting by the door of the building. "beg." i hear faintly and daryl and i run around to the side of the building. standing there in the grass, cyndie holds a gun to arat's head. bea stands beside her along with some others from oceanside. both daryl and i walk up to them with our bows up. "beg. beg like you made them beg." cyndie says and arat softly cries as she holds her hands up. "drop it!" daryl exclaims. bea holds her spear gun up at me as i glare at her. 

"bea. it's okay." cyndie says and she ignores her. "you take out justin with that thing?" daryl asks. "he killed my husband." bea answers. i drop my bow instantly and she drops hers, pointing it back at arat. "isa, please." arat begs. "they got a reason?" i ask. "we've all done things." she answers. "people will find out." daryl says. "she's the last one." cyndie answers. "after this it's over." she adds and i remember how the saviors stood around and laughed as negan hit joel over and over, how arat stood beside negan as he was about to kill carl, how they bombed our home with no remorse. "maybe for you. but it won't be." daryl says. 

"this was our home. my mother and my grandmother found this for our group. there were so many of us then. men and women...kids. my mom and i built a garden. me and my brother used to play right here. but then the saviors came. and simon wanted what we had.  he gave us our final warning. afterward, we ran. and we tried to forget. but, then your people asked us to come and fight. we did because we couldn't forget. after rick ended it, we went along because we didn't think we had a choice. until you and maggie hung gregory. that's when we knew. rick's rules aren't the only rules. you showed us the way. it was time." cyndie explains.

"you did this...because of me?" i ask, shaken. "they murdered...my mother. she shot my brother right here. and they took everything because they could." cyndie sobs. "please. it's not like that anymore, okay? i'm one of you now." arat cries. i remember my baby brother zeph, and how he cried in my arms the night he died because he was afraid. "did you do it?' i ask her with disgust in my voice. "simon would've killed me too!" she cries. "you asked me to beg for his life!" cyndie screams. "he was crying and you smiled!" she adds. "i told you i loved him. i needed him! he was only eleven years old. and what did you say?" she asks, sobbing.

"i don't remember." arat stammers. "say it!" cyndie yells. "please!" arat exclaims sniffling, looking over at daryl and i. "what did you say?" i ask her. "no exceptions." she says and my heart sinks. negan said the same thing before swinging down on joel's head.  i stare at her for a moment before slowly turning around and starting to walk back the way we came. daryl follows behind and arat screams my name as she cries, then a single gunshot rings through the air and all is quiet. 

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

long chapter wowow

plot twist the song i quoted i have no idea what it is and it kinda sucks. don't recommend it.