'i'm not like them, but i can pretend the sun is gone, but i have a light.' - nirvana

"it's a strange new world." joel says walking alongside me down the street and looking at the stars. "yeah." i reply not really paying attention to him but to carl who is in the dining room of his house feeding judith. "i still can't believe maggie is having a baby in this." joel adds. "yeah, i know." i say. "there is so much risk to it i hope things go as planned for them. they are a sweet couple." joel says. "i agree. hey, i'm gonna spend the night at carl's." i say turning to face joel. "you be safe with him. we don't need another baby to deal with." he chuckles walking down the street. "stop, joel!" i shout covering my ears and he shrugs his shoulders with a smile across his face as he walks farther down the sidewalk. i knock on the door and carl opens it. 

"can i stay over?" i ask him. "yeah, why not. you can help me bathe judith." he says with a smirk. bathing judith is like trying to bathe a cat, she hates baths. we both walk into the kitchen and i glance at judith, seeing the baby covered in mashed peas. i sigh and pick her up as carl takes away the highchair. she clings to my hip and mushes peas into my hair as we walk up to the bathroom laughing. carl starts the bath and we fill the bath with so much soap. she babbles and splashes water all over the two of us. by the time we scrub all the peas off of her, it's time to put her down. carl told me rick is "asleep early" so i didn't question the extra pair of shoes at the door when i walked in. 

judith falls asleep rather quickly so carl and i quietly sneak into his room so we don't wake her. he closes the door and sighs then lays on his bed next to me. "she is so much to deal with sometimes." he says. "you're good at it though." i reply and he smiles. "i'm not tired." i say and he agrees. "come here." carl says pulling me from his bed to his window. he opens it and climbs out onto the roof. i follow him carefully, watching where i crawl. the stars are extra bright tonight since the clouds are light. the moon rests over the pond sending light shimmering over the water. "it's so pretty out." i say as the wind blows. it's cold against my face so i sit closer to carl and tug on my flannel to warm me up. 

he wraps one arm around me as we both gaze up at the sky. "how do you know so much about stars? yesterday you were telling judith about the north star." i ask him. "i read a lot at the prison. there wasn't much to do there." he says so casually. "you lived in a prison? that's so badass." i say surprised. "yeah for a bit after we ran into a community that wasn't what it seemed." he explains. "teminus?" i ask and he looks at me with surprise as well. "yeah? maggie tell you?" he asks and i shake my head. "it's where i met joel and tess. we got out because of a big explosion nearby and the place got overrun. the guy who ran it came after us and shot joel, that's why he was out with the infection." i explain. "i was there too. carol was the one who exploded the gas tank." he adds. 

"that's so funny. small world i guess." i say and he agrees. the wind blows again and i stuff my hands into my pockets. "let's go back in i'm freezing." he says grabbing my hand and helping me through the window. i sit down slouched over my crisscrossed legs watching carl lock his window then sit beside me. "do you think this is going to last?" i ask him. "what?" he asks. "our luck? it's been like a month or so from the incident and the community is doing so well." i explain. "i think that if something were to happen we would figure it out. we always do." he says laying down and i lay next to him resting my head on his chest. my head moves up and down with his lungs. "i don't want to lose anyone else." i say feeling an overwhelming sense of sadness. "you won't." carl says concerned. "yes we will. it's bound to happen even quicker now." i add looking at his soft gaze watching my eyes. 

"you won't lose me." he says and my eyes start to burn. "i'll always be here. i swear." he says and i follow his eyes down to his lips. he sits up a bit and gently connects our lips. my chilled hands travel up his shirt to his neck as he pulls down my flannel. his hands follow the curve of my back revealing my skin to the cold air. my scrunched-up shirt reaches my arms so i pull away to tug the rest of it off over my head. carl looks at me with eager eyes then a little smirk traces across his face as he pulls his flannel off leaving him in a t-shirt. he pulls me back to him, reconnecting our lips. my hair drags along my back making me shiver.

his lips move from mine to my neck. i lay back as he hovers over me. his bedsheets crinkle underneath me and i feel like i'm sinking into the soft mattress they cover. carl pulls away and pulls off his shirt. my eyes drag across his bare chest as he did to me. "what?" he asks. "nothing. i'm just admiring you." i say smiling. "carl." i say. "yeah?" he answers climbing back over me and i can feel him against me. "carl, can you look through my bag?" i ask as he kisses me again. with his lips still, on mine, he reaches a hand into my bag and rummages around. he pulls out a small purple box i stole from rosita. "good thinking." he says reading the box as i laugh. 

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a loud bang makes me jump awake from beside carl. my shirt is still missing so i scurry around on the ground looking for carl's. i grab his flannel and my shorts along with my gun. "carl, i think someone is in here." i say shaking him awake. he jumps up and grabs his pants along with his gun. the door creaks open and an unfamiliar man is standing in the hallway looking at a painting on the wall. "what the hell are you doing in our house?" carl asks holding the gun to the man's head. "i'm uh, sitting on the steps, looking at this painting, waiting for your mom and dad to get dressed." the man says looking back at carl and i. he notices our mismatched outfits and laughs a bit to himself. 

"hi, im jesus." the man says and rick's door opens revealing a half-naked rick and michonne. "carl, isa.." rick says also questioning our appearances. daryl, joel, glenn, abraham, and maggie rush up the stairs pointing guns at jesus. "it's okay." michonne says to daryl who gives her a strange look along with abe and glenn. "you said we should talk. so let's talk." rick says putting a shirt on as we all follow jesus down the stairs to the kitchen table. "so how'd you get out?" rick asks him sitting down. carl and i sit across from him and joel stands behind me clearly angry with me. "one guard can't cover two exits or third-floor windows." jesus says and carl and i smirk at each other after looking at michonne and rick. joel gives me a light smack on the back of my head and i stifle my laughter. 

"right." rick answers. "i checked out your arsenal. i haven't seen anything like that in a long time. you're well equipped but your provisions are low. very low for the number of people you have. 54?" jesus asks. "more than that." maggie answers sitting beside glenn at the end of the table. "well, i appreciate the cookie. my compliments to the chef." jesus says. "yeah, she ain't here." daryl answers talking about carol. "look, we got off to a bad start. but we're on the same side-- the living side. you rick and joel had every reason to leave me out there, but you didn't. i'm from a place that's a lot like this one. part of my job is searching for other settlements to trade with." jesus explains. 

"i took your truck because my community needs things, and you three looked like trouble. i was wrong. you're good people and this is a good place. i think our communities may be in a position to help each other." jesus says. "do you have food?" rick asks. "we've started to raise livestock. we scavenge, we grow. everything from tomatoes to sorghum." jesus replies. "tell us why we should believe you." rick says. "ill show you." jesus responds quickly. "if we take a car, i can take you back home in a day, and you can all see for yourselves who we are and what we have to offer." jesus offers. "wait, you're looking for more settlements. you mean you've already found other groups to trade with?" i ask him and he laughs a bit. "your world is about to get a whole lot bigger." jesus says with a smirk.

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"you are in so much trouble i can't even begin to explain it." joel says hanging me a gas can to put in the back of the car. "can this wait, please?" i say to him. carl walks over and sticks another can into the car and joel's face is stained with a dirty look. i sigh and rick walks over. "you sure about this?" carl asks his father. "no. but if he's telling the truth, this could be the start of everything. look, i was gonna tell you about me and michonne, but it just happened. it just happened. last night. this is different." rick explains. "it's cool." carl smiles. "cool. okay. we still need to talk about, this, though." rick says referring to carl and i. "all right." carl and i laugh. "get your stuff. gabriel can take care of judith while we're gone." rick says. "no, i'm not coming." carl says and i look over at him. "what? why?" i ask. "someones gotta stay back and keep this place safe. plus a kid with a messed up face probably wouldn't be the best first impression." he says and it makes me sad.

i hate how he thinks of himself. rick hands him judith and he walks off with joel to the RV. "you sure?" i ask him. "yeah, you go. i'll be here." he smiles. "i'll be back." i say kissing his cheek then waving bye to judith. "let's chew up some asphalt!" abraham shouts from the RV door. maggie and joel follow behind me along with glenn and daryl helping michonne and rick start it up. rick gets the engine going and i sit beside maggie and glenn with joel beside me as well. i set my hand on maggie's stomach and i can feel small little kicks. "i can feel him in there." i say. "him?" maggie laughs. "when i picture you guys i see a boy." i say. abraham starts whispering with glenn and maggie turns to me. "so you and carl last night." she says. "please don't. i already got joel on my ass and rosita doesn't even know yet." i say. "you like him?" she asks. "yeah. i do." i say back and she smiles patting my leg. 

the RV starts to turn and daryl lifts up the blinds. "yo, rick. what's going on?" he asks as rick comes to a stop. "we got a crash up ahead, looks like it just happened." he answers. i peer out the window and see two cars flipped over pinning an infected underneath it. "it's one of ours." jesus says jumping from his seat and bursting open the RV door. "stay." joel says to me as he and a few others join rick outside. i watch from the window as rick holds his gun up to jesus. "if this is a trick, it won't end well for you." rick says. "my people are in trouble. they don't- we don't have a lot of fighters. i know how it looks, but i'll play it out. can i borrow a gun?" jesus replies worriedly. "no. we got tracks right here." daryl says pointing to the ground and i jump up joining the group outside. 

i walk up beside joel and watch as rick bangs on the door of a nearby building. "they gotta be in there." jesus says. "we moving in or what?" abraham asks. "how do we know this ain't firecrackers in a trash can?" joel asks and it confuses me. "what?" i ask under my breath. "you don't." jesus answers. "we'll get your people. you're staying here with one of us." rick says and jesus looks back at michonne. "that's the deal." she says shaking her head. "will you stay?" glenn asks maggie and she nods. "you too." joel says and i groan walking over to maggie. "y'all go, just be careful." maggie says and rick carefully opens the door. "you hear me whistle, shoot him." rick says before closing the door. 

maggie and i both cock our guns and lining them up with jesus. the adrenaline is killing me and i'm worried for our people for what they will find in there. are jesus and his people too good to be true or did we hit the jackpot? i wish carl was here, he'd love this. moments pass and some grunting and crashes are heard from inside and i look to maggie who has a worried expression on her face. "you better hope and pray that none of our people are hurt in there." i say to jesus and he ignores me. the door bursts open and out comes our group with a few other people who look like shit. we all load back into the RV following jesus's directions. a man that rick had picked up sits on the couch and sorts through some pills. maggie watches him and they make eye contact. "name's harlan, by the way." harlan says. "maggie. that's my husband, glenn. this is isa." maggie says introducing us. "we're bringing back medications, so you may have just saved more people than just us back there, glenn." harlan explains. 

"you're a doctor?" glenn asks and harlan nods. "you have any prenatal vitamins in there?" glenn asks and harlan smiles at glenn then at maggie. "for you?" harlan asks maggie and she nods. "well, uh, i was an obstetrician before, and i most definitely owe you. so, id say you two just hit the jackpot." harlan explains and glenn smiles at maggie. i watch the rest of the group sitting in the front of the RV. joel has taken it upon himself to read off directions to rick since jesus is tending to his men and it is funny to watch the two mess up the streets and turns. "great, now we're stuck." joel groans and rick quietly curses as the RV gets stuck in a mud pool. "a storm must've passed through." rick adds. "no worries, we're here." jesus smiles and grabs his friends arm, helping him up. daryl opens the door and jumps down into the mud splashing my pants as i follow behind him. 

the rest of the group follows jesus and his friends up a hill. "that's us. that's the hilltop." jesus says proudly as we all stare at a community much different from ours. 

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

well, it's exam season again.. i actually can't believe how fast this school year flew by.

vote if you are so ready for summer LOL