I've always imagined how my first kiss would be like, if it is from a person I loved. But I never imagined it to be from a person I barely knew, and that it was out of malice from that person. But the second one...

I lurched forward to the lecture room due to a splitting headache, which feels like me bashing my head against a wall nonstop, or simply slicing my skull in half. My feet were killing me. Ladies, wearing high heels is only suitable for suicide missions.

Lynch found me half dying at the corner, and basically hoisted me up and hauled me towards the room, clicking his tongue reproachfully.

"Ugh, shut it!" I groaned as he kept on tutting loudly on purpose.

"Maybe I should have left you there, then, withering miserably." he said in a light hearted tone, but his eyes scanned me worriedly. The cosmetics I applied clearly didn't do its job well to cover my puffy eyes. I shrugged when he knitted his brows together.

"Just sick," I lied , and Azriel. He nodded, smiling, but I could see the hint of doubt beneath it.

The lesson droned on, but my thoughts kept drifting away, back  to yesterday. I don't want history to repeat itself, after Dommie...

Wanting to occupy myself from those thoughts, I started sketching on my notebook, my pen sprinting on the piece of paper, creating hues of black ink. The slashes became more vicious, as though trying to satisfy my anger for an outlet, an outlet for all my hurt and confusion and rage.

°°°

I rubbed my temples, frowning. My thoughts were a jumbled mess as I flicked through the pages of my book.

He shall never know I love him: and that, not because he's handsome, but because he's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made out of, his and mine are the same.

Yawing, I crawled onto my bed and closed my eyes, but my mind was still in a whirl, a distinct ringing in my ears. My eyelids were drooping, heavy, but the uneasy melancholy feeling couldn't ebb away, like cold water trickling down my spine. Twisting myself into a more comfortable position, I wrapped the blanket around me, cocooning me, as though I was seeking the non existent warmth, the comfort.

When I was clawing at my messy untamed hair, footsteps were pounding outside. Ember.

The door clicked open, and I could hear Ember's usual enthusiastic voice. A velvety voice echoed her, no other than Azriel's musical musing.

The chattering ceased abruptly as they turned on the lights, followed by:

"Oh, Rae is asleep," Ember said in a hushed voice.

I could feel someone hover above me, but I clamped my eyes shut, even managing to fake gentle snoring. A cool finger tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear. The finger was slender and calloused, the same ones who stroked my cheeks yesterday. My skin tingled at the touch, but I stayed put.

"She's asleep." Azriel remarked, setting down something onto the table.

"So shut up and let her sleep," Ember said, in a playful tone. I could almost see Azriel's iconic scowl and eyeroll.

"Anyway, which stage are you guys on?"

Stage?

A snort.

"Nothing like that. Seriously Ember? She's a pompous self righteous little bitch, and I don't give a fucking damn about her. I kiss and discard, especially for complete trash like her."

I could hear the filthy smirk etched on his face.

Kiss and discard. Kiss and discard... Then why did he call for me when I left? No doubt another tactic for wooing girls.

I had expected this, but some part of me, with my naive wishful thinking, hoped that Azriel wasn't as bad as I thought. Whoops, Raelyn, another epic failure. The voice was hushed and rapid now, so I strained my ears to listen.

"Do not say that again, or I'll personally cut off your balls. Raelyn is too innocent for your games, Az, so go find another girl to play with and let her alone," Ember said. My gratitude surged towards her.

"Ah, my balls are very big,"

"So is your ego," Ember mumbled.

I want to high five her, but I won't.     I can't. Tears were streaming down my cheeks. Damn the world. Damn the male with big balls.

"Well, if you put it that way, Embs."

"Oh yes trust me I would," Ember said, defiant.

"Well, if we are continuing the shit talk I'll leave."

"Then leave," Ember huffed.

A second later the door shut, and Ember sighed.

Kiss and discard. Kiss and discard. Kiss and discard... Isn't that what all 'hot' men do? Dommie.. Dommie wouldn't. But he did. Just not that way...

With the hauntingly sweet voice of Azriel's replaying in my mind, once, twice.... until I finally tumbled into stygian darkness.

---

"M-morning, Rae," Ember said, voice thick with sleep.

"Morning," I mumbled, not wanting to open my mouth, or the room would be poisoned from toxic gas.

"Wait, morning?" I scrambled up.

"Yes, sleepy head, I didn't want to wake you up since you're sleeping like the dead,"

I rubbed my eyes drowsily, and smiled, sheepish. Kiss and discard.

Raelyn, revenge plan A, activated.

And yes it starts now.