trigger warnings !!

mentions of sexual assault, 
confrontational  topic,
derealization, dissociation

white wine and cigarettes | jason todd
007 | non consensual
teacher's pet | melanie martinez

"How was your week? Did the eszopiclone help you fall asleep?" Macy questioned as Jason sat down.

"Yeah it helped but I did feel quite drowsy the next day, then again you did mention that would be normal." Jason replied, reassuring himself.

"If you want we can begin from where we left last session at where we were beginning to touch bases derealization and dissociation." Macy let Jason have control over this session considering he's been compliant during their sessions. He nodded as a response.

"Let's start with derealization. Derealization makes someone feel as if they are disconnected from them self. They become emotionally disconnected from everything. They feel like they're living in a movie, things don't seem real to them in this state. Or even feeling as if they and everything around them are being separated by a glass wall. They can see everything but they can't interact with it properly, they become disconnected from their surroundings." As Macy explains derealization it starts to occur to Jason that he may have experienced this multiple times.

"It's similar to derealization in some aspects but with dissociation people don't remember what happens during that time period, could be minutes, hours, maybe even days. In most cases it's because the brain shuts down to protect the mind from emotional trauma or in less severe cases, stress." Macy attempted to explain it in a way he would understand better.

"Basically in shorter terms derealization you're more aware of what's happening, but with dissociation you completely shut down?" Jason questioned trying to understand better.

"Precisely"

"I don't remember much about my time in the League of Assassins, could dissociation be why I don't remember much?" Jason asked, thinking about that year gap in his mind.

"It's definitely possible I don't like to diagnose anything without diving deeper so let's do that."

"Go ahead doc," Jason said grinning.

" Let's start with this, during that time frame you did just get revived which would put a lot of stress on your mind along with the Lazarus Pit as you put it, shattering your mind. Then there is your death, so those memories would most likely be resurfacing unless you dissociated during that time which I don't think you did because you remember it quite well," As Macy was talking she was reviewing notes she made in the past. Jason decided he should bring up something that happened in the League.

"I think I was also raped during that time period. I don't remember if it was consensual or not but I was seventeen and she was older than me. She only did it so I would listen to her." Jason whispered looking down at his lap in shame.

"I'm very sorry that happened to you. If she did it for those reasons I'm sorry to tell you this but I don't think it was consensual. At that time you weren't in the right state of mind as well so in this circumstance I would say it was sexual assault." Macy broke the news to Jason who response was to pretend a tear didn't drip from his eye and look away in shame.

"I thought so." Jason replied bitterly.

"Has this happened before?" Macy asked, taking a wild guess. However, after dealing with past patients and Jason himself she can just tell with that response and actions that it has happened before.

"How'd you know?" Jason asked surprised she knew.

"Nothing really stood out other than the common behaviours of people with a past in sexual abuse." Macy replied hesitantly

"I want to talk about something else. I mean you know about all my issues so how about I play therapist for the night." Jason deflected.

"Jason, that's not how this works, but if you wish to talk about this next Thursday instead then we can do that." Macy honestly just didn't want to burden Jason with her recent anxiety and parental issues.

"I guess I will see you next week then," Jason said, sounding a tad bit disappointed. Thinking that Macy didn't trust him enough even though he is the Red Hood. 

author's note !!

the reason behind macy not being more of a main focus in the past few chapters have been because i wanted to give more inside on jason for you guys to see his current mental state. in the next few chapters we will see a lot more of macy's side of things. macy also tries to remain professional with jason and we will soon see why.

also i'm thinking about making this story a longer than the twenty chapters i've originally planned but not sure, i've a few ideas but i could always use a second opinion if anyone is willing to listen :)