November 6th, 1983

(Sunday)

I sigh, shoving my curls out of my face only for the sun to blind me. I let the sound of Jonathan's snores soothe me before sliding off the air mattress I sleep on when I'm here. I wish I could just stay at the Byer's house forever, all my problems seem to wash away when I'm here... But then I have to leave and reality kicks back in. I stumble my way into the kitchen, welcomed by the delicious smell of breakfast.

"Morning honey, how'd you sleep?" Mama Byers aka Joyce, Jonathan's mom, asks me. She's like a second mother to me and is the coolest mom to ever exist.

I rub my eyes. "Amazing as always." I always sleep great when I'm here. Probably because Jonny talks or sings until I fall asleep, that way I know I'm not alone.

"Morning Toni!" Will, Jonathan's little brother and practically mine as well, tackles me for a hug.

"Easy Will, she just woke up." Joyce softly scolds.

I ruffle his bowl cut. "Oh it's fine. Morning Will." He desperately needs a new haircut. I wonder if Joyce would let me try... that's a definite no. Tried that with Jonny's hair the summer before sophomore year andddd let's just say he had a buzz cut for most of the fall. And winter.

"Breakfast is almost ready, Will, go wake up Jonathan." Joyce chimes.

"As much as I would like to stay, I was given strict order to come straight home." My shoulders sag. Her breakfast is so good, she cooks everything in bacon grease.

"Does that mean you can't play with us today?" Will asks with frown. "The Party" as we call ourselves, consists of me, Will, my younger brother Dustin, and their other two friends Mike and Lucas. We play D&D together. But unfortunately I can't go today because my mom found out I skipped detention yesterday which I got for skipping class for a smoke break. And if I skip going home, well, would've come full circle.

I nod. "Sorry buddy. But don't worry, I'll be at the rest of them." I assure which cheers him up. "And remember don't let the others try to talk you into lying about what you roll." I give him the 'serious mom' finger. Lucas and Dustin try to get him to keep what he rolls from Mike sometimes.

"Yes ma'am." He laughs.

"Well then, I'm off." I wave to them, swiping a piece of bacon on my way out. I hop on my moped and head home, driving extra slow on purpose. Finally I pull into the driveway as Dustin is slamming the front door behind him.

"Morning Toni, no time to talk, bye Toni." He rushes out, hurrying over to his bike.

I snort. "Morning. Why are you in such a hurry?" I ask amused.

"Today's campaign is a long one and we have more ground to cover since you won't be there." He adjusts his backpack. "And it's a school night, so we gotta start early!" He's out of breath by the time he finishes.

"Oh yeah, the one that took us two weeks to plan right?" He nods yes. I sigh in defeat, that was a fun one. "Well make sure you win for me." I crack a smile.

"Duh, see you later." He wheels his bike to the end of the driveway before hopping on. "Good luck with mom." He calls over his shoulder then begins to pedals off.

"Thanks." I mutter to myself since he's already halfway down the road. I groan, stabling my moped and trudge to the door. I take a deep breath. "Let's just get this over with."

I walk in to find mom on the couch watching tv with Mews in her lap, our orange cat that she loves probably more than Dustin and I. She's lost in her show so I shut the door rather loudly causing Mews to jump and scurry off. I roll my eyes. I hate that cat. She gets her orange fur over EVERYTHING, chews on my plants and stuff in my room so I have to leave the door closed at all times which I forget to do or I'll end up running into it because I forget it's closed, and she is annoying as hell. I wanted a hamster or even a dog but mom claims Mews would eat the hamster and that she's allergic to dogs, even though I remember we had one when I was little so I know that's not true.

"Oh good." Her head snaps to me and she gets up to shut off the tv. "Come to the kitchen and help me roll out the cookie dough for the cookies I'm taking to work tomorrow, your first task for today." She informs me, waving a hand for me to follow. I bite my cheek to avoid complaining, kick my converse off towards Mews as she comes back around the corner causing her to hiss at me, then I throw my backpack down and follow. I hate cooking and baking, because I don't understand how to do it and always burn something or cut myself. She knows this.

"I want you to know I'm not mad." She starts off, handing me a rolling pin. "I'm just worried about you honey, that's all. You've already had forty-eight absences this year... and it's not even Thanksgiving yet." Oh. I was trying to keep it under thirty until Christmas, oops. "Your teachers have said you've been very- out of it lately, distracted as well."

"What do they know." I mumble. Teachers. Always snitching and thinking they know everything.

"They know that you're a very bright girl just like I do. But you're not trying anymore." She gives me a pointed look. "You've been taking a lot more smoke breaks lately, and you're more sluggish, I'm just worried is all. I honestly don't know what to do anymore." Her voice falters for a moment. Desperate, tired, but not angry. "I mean do we need to get you back on your medicine again or-"

"No!" I quickly cut her off. "Nope. You promised if I was extra good this summer then I could be off them this school year." A panicked, cold sweat breaks out onto my neck and lower back. I hate taking those pills, going to the appointments, the whispers, all of it.

"I said we'd see you progress without them." She corrects. School is bad enough, but this year hasn't been too bad, so far.

"I'm already stressed about work, the holidays are just around the corner, oh your birthday is just in a couples week!" Oh yeah, totally forgot about that. "I can't take much more, please you have to help me here, Antonia. If you would just talk to me like Dustin does-" And that's when I tune her out.

Nothing else like those two words will make me mentally check out of a conversation faster. "Like Dustin". Why can't you be happier and have a better attitude, like Dustin? Why don't you try harder in school, like Dustin. The list goes on and on. I know she doesn't mean it in a bad way or to tear me down, she thinks saying it will help me out, motivate me or something. But it doesn't. It just exhausts me. Because I won't ever be like Dustin. I can't be his happy-go-lucky self. I can't just let things roll off my back like he does. I can't be charming with mom and other adults like he is. I just- can't. And she doesn't get it and Dustin doesn't think anything of it.

Dad got it though. Of course the one person in this house who just... understood me a certain way, beyond how Dustin does, is the one person who isn't here.

I reach out and grab her now shaking hand to stop her. "Mom!" She looks at me with tears in her eyes. I knew she was overwhelmed, but shit. "I'll... try harder." I try with every ounce of my being to muster up the best smile possible, but I think it came off more as a grimace. "Okay? I will. I really will try harder." She slowly inhales and exhales, wiping her face and collecting herself.

"Alright. I believe you. That's all I'm asking from you is that you try. And don't be afraid to talk to me."

"You got it." I nod. "You have my almost full attempt. Until Christmas." Thankfully that made her laugh, even though I was actually serious. My fuel tank will definitely be back down to E by Thanksgiving. But if all I have to do is smile and tell her what she needs to hear right now, then so be it.

❁❁❁

I get a strange chill as I step outside, chalking it up as November weather to put my mind at ease. I start bringing my plants and flowers in from the back porch, should've started before the sun went down. Mom reminded me, that she's been reminding me for the past few weeks, to bring them in so the cold weather that's been setting in doesn't kill them. Most of them are pretty much dead anyways, but that's how I prefer them. Flowers and plants are the only things that can look beautiful even when they're dead.

I bring in the last one just as Dustin comes barging in out breath, muttering cuss words.

I snicker quietly. "What's wrong, you lose?" I call over to him.

He slides his backpack off as he pouts while taking off his shoes. "I lost a bike race with Will and now I owe him my X-Men 134."

"Dustin! That's in your top 3 best X-Men comics!" I exclaim. I've told him not to bike race anymore. Will's really fast so he always loses.

"I know! Son of bitch." He throws his arms up.

"Dustin! Language!" Mom yells from her bedroom.

"Oops." Dustin says quieter. "So how'd it go today?" He comes over to the back door where I am now clipping leaves. I give him 'how do you think it went' look.. "Oh." He nods, getting the gist I don't wanna talk about so he stomps over to the fridge and takes a chug of milk out of the carton, gross.

"But- Don't mess up the bathroom." I order him. "I had to scrub the toilet all afternoon." I point as I crack a smile, lighting the mood.

He laughs. "Yeah, well how was getting all of your hair out of the drain?"

I make a dramatic face while rolling my eyes and we both burst out laughing. "Wanna tell me all about the campaign while we eat ice cream straight out of the box and not tell mom?"

"Uh yeah!" He exclaims, grabbing the bigger spoons.

"Cool, let me just turn off the porch light." I step out to switch it off as the lights flicker several times causing goosebumps to form all the way down my back and arms. Great, another problem around here.

"Can I just give Will your copy instead?" Dustin whines.

"Um, absolutely not!" I hurry back in before he can take it, forgetting all about the lights.

❁❁❁

Author's Note: Wow this chapter is longer than I usually go, but I had to get this part out before writing within the episode. Maybe I should start going around this length tho, who knows. Anyways I'll stop droning on lol. Hope y'all didn't find this too boring because this is only just the beginning of Toni's story!! Let me know what y'all think, can't wait to finally continue writing this book <3                              

Oh and Happy Stranger Things Day!! Nervous and excited to see how season 4 will turn out and where it will take Toni and her journey (so yes that means I will be carrying this out through season's 1-3!!!) so stay tuneddd ;)

Author Note Update: Wow, I cannot believe it's almost been a year since I rewrote this chapter and since season 4 came out!! Time literally flies... I've truly neglected this book and that bums me out bc at the beginning of last summer I was so into this book and edits for it bc of the new season hype. I'm gonna try really hard to get back into it!! I miss Toni, this book, and ST Era so much. Anyway, happy almost 1 year anniversary nerds <3