By the way always motivate yourself and I love Normani.. #DoubleUpdate!!

Jesus Christ, my tummy was seriously paining me and I could barely stand up and I when I stood up from my bed, my white sheets we're covered with blood, God Jesus now I have to take them for laundry. I held my tummy and then I tried to remove my sheets and when I was done. I kept it in the laundry basket and then I entered the bathroom and then I sat down on the toilet seat as I did my thing. I cleaned myself up and then I removed my clothes and then I entered the bathroom and cleaned myself up and then as I was rinsing my body. An unwanted body barged into my the bathroom and it was Mendel he looked at the pool of blood and then he screamed and ran out. 

I could not hold my laugh any longer and then I held my tummy as I tried to laugh. He shouted, "What the fuck."

"You would have knocked you dick." I shouted back.

He groaned and then he banged my room door. I hurried up and cleaned myself and then I carefully came out and God the cramps was coming out in full force I held my tummy and then I went to find my tampons and then i inserted it and wore my net lace pant and my bra... then I looked for my sweatpants and my half cut and then I went downstairs.

I heard some kissing noise and I peeped and saw Williams holding my mum's waist as they passionately kissed each other and then I could not take it any longer and then she coughed and as soon as they saw me they blushed. I rolled my eyes and went to the fridge to get a glass of milk.

When I opened the fridge, there was no milk so I said, "Mum there's no milk anymore."

She stared at me, "Okay you can go out with Williams to buy the milk, right Will."

He smiled, "Sure, I would love to get along with my best friend." I rolled my eyes at them and then I rushed upstairs to get my phone and then I rushed back and went outside, and saw Williams already in the car. I hopped in and then he drove off.

During the car ride, I tried to make conversation. I asked, "So what actually happened between you and your wife?"

His face stiffened, but it came back to normal. He smiled at me, "Well she was doing bad things, no need to elaborate since Harry has already told you the full story."

"Well do you love my mother?" I asked sincerely.

He smiled, "She's amazing and am having feelings for her."

I nod my head, "Well do you miss your old wife."

"I would not say I miss her, but I feel like it's my fault why she is in Rehab." He felt sad, so I thought of an idea.

"Well what of you visit her and then you try to explain things and then maybe you would feel better, for me you did not do anything wrong, just tell her the truth and have you have these new feelings about my mother and just let her go." I looked at him as I said this.

He nodded his head and said, "But I can't do that alone."

I shrugged, "I would follow you, like your support." I squeezed his hand.

He smiled at what I did. We stayed like that in a comfortable silence, until we reached the Charlie Store. He told me to get the milk as he went to buy burger and coke.

I entered the Store and I found the Willet Dairy and then I paid for it and went to the car, I entered inside and then I waited patiently for Williams. When he came back, he gave me mine and entered the car and then we stayed there as we ate in silence. Then when I looked up, he was already through and he asked, "So you and Sky."

I inwardly groaned to myself, I knew he wanted me to tell him about Sky, I can trust him right, he's a nice guy. So I sighed before I explained from the beginning about everything.

He listened so intensely as I told him everything and then when I was through I said, "So hate me now."

He laughed, "Am not going to hate you Delphine, but do you love Sky?"

"With all my heart!" I replied.

He nodded his head, "Well for me I feel that your not happy in that studio place and you actually found happiness with the new friends that you made at that School. Use the power of a sincere apology. Apologies can go a long way toward healing hurt or angry feelings.Use this as a chance to better yourself. Take time to get to know your real self again and the last thing forgive yourself, just think about it find a place that you would be happy."

When he said that he was actually saying the truth and I could not argue with that and then he smiled at me and then he started the car and drove off. I ate my burger in silence and thought about what he said. I like dancing but the studio has been suffocating me and I left the people that have been so supportive and am with people that detest me, well apart from James and Alma they are the nice ones.... God please show me the way....

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Thanks!!

#DoubleUpdate 

Five ways to motivate yourself, during theses hard times:

1. Make a deal with yourself.

Good for overcoming procrastination and getting things done. You can make the deal small or large.

You simple tell yourself something like: When I'm done with this chapter/these reports I can take a walk in the park and enjoy an ice-cream.

2. Act like it.

If you don't feel motivated or enthusiastic then act like it.

The strange thing is that within a few minutes you actually start to feel motivated, or enthusiastic for real.

3. Ask uplifting questions in the morning.

Here's what you do; every morning ask yourself five empowering three-part questions this way:

What am I ______ about in my life right now?

♪

What about it makes me _______?

How does it make me feel?

Put in your own value in the blank space. For instance, a couple of my questions are:

What am I happy about in my life right now?

What am I excited about in my life right now?

It's important that you really feel how it makes you feel. When I think about the last part about what makes me happy right now I really feel it.

These morning questions are great because the way they are set up makes you recognize things you take for granted and then they really get you to feel those positive feelings.

4. Move the goalposts.

Set a large and specific goal. This will motivate you much more than small goals. A big goal has a big effect and can create a lot of motivation.

5. Do something small and create a flow.

Just clean your desk. Or pay your bills. Or wash the dishes. You just need to get started.

When you have finished that small task you'll feel more alert and ready to go do the next thing. You just to get started to get motivated.

So if you really don't feel like doing anything, start with something small and work your way out up.