𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧

The group walked further onwards, wiping their foreheads and panting heavily from the heat that sunk into all their skin. Tilly kept her distance, although she knew her new group wouldn't hurt her she still needed the time to adjust. For so long it had just been her and Teddy on the road trying to find someplace safe and all of the sudden she had a large group, more people to look out for but more people to look out for her.

Suddenly the empty space next to her was filled with the sound of leaves crunching under boots. Looking up she found Carl with a soft expression and a fussy baby in his arms.

"I'm sorry about your friend" he stated simply as both their heads retired to the path in front of them.

"Thank you," she said softly, still feeling that painful tug at her heart at the mention of him. "I mean I had sorta been expecting it for a while" she blurted out, nervous around so many new people she didn't have as much control over her speech.

"What do you mean?" he asked, shifting the child in his arms to his other side so he could face her without obstruction.

"He had a heart condition, his parents never explained it to me properly. Sorta thought that would kill him rather than one of those things" she let out in a desperate ramble, somehow feeling completely comfortable with telling them; I mean what harm could come from it. He was already dead. Carl's head dipped and his face fell with pity. "I'm sorry I don't usually spit out stuff like that to strangers" she frantically apologised.

"Don't be" he smiled softly at the girl "Just because you were expecting it doesn't mean you don't get to hurt" he assured her. Tilly had never really thought that before, Teddy had said so many times that she needed to go on and not think about it and that's why he reminded her every day that he was going to die; so she would have a chance of survival on her own. The echoes of words she had once whispered burned her. 'I promise' escaped her so long ago she thought it was a distant dream. Judith's cooing pulled her out of her thoughts, Tilly's eyes focusing on her chubby baby fingers.

"I suspect she isn't yours" Tilly stated, pointing out how obviously too young Carl was to have a child of his own. He chuckled a bit and looked at the babbling kid.

"No, she's my sister" Carl stated as Tilly reached out her hand to the baby, wrapping her chubby fingers around her pinky. Tilly looked over to Rick who was the obvious father of the two but could not spot a woman who had a clear maternal connection to the baby. Deciding not to comment on it, Tilly just assumed the worst, that seemed to be the most likely truth these days.

As if they had all telepathically communicated it the whole group stopped in synchronicity, everyone silently taking up their own jobs of gathering water, setting traps or finding food. Tilly felt a certain amount of shock at how swiftly and cohesively they had all gotten on with their tasks with minimal communication. Not really knowing what to do she pulled out the can of corn and packet of chips and lay them next to a kneeling Rick. Rick looked up to the girl with a small chuckle escaping him.

"Thanks, Tilly" Rick said, picking up the can and placing it in the abandoned duffel bag.

"I know how to make baby food out of pretty much anything" she piped up, still keeping her head down and painting at the packet of chips. Rick looked from the sad bag back to the girl with suspicion.

"How do you make baby food out of stale chips" he questioned genuinely.

"Just crush 'em and mix 'em with hot water, you got mashed potatoes" she finished as she turned around and walked over to Carl. Rick was left with his eyebrows knitted together and a short breath leaving him in exasperation. Carl was idly sitting with Judith in his lap as he fed her a baby bottle of water, his head lifted as she approached and he scooted over a bit so she could sit.

"You have experience with babies?" he asked, not so subtly revealing that he was eavesdropping on her and Rick's conversation. Tilly let out a deep sigh, the painful memories of all those she has lost still stinging her. Echoes of laughter and baby cries filled her ears as the memory stubbornly would not fade. A crack in her past she had yet to heal.

"There was a baby at my old camp," she told him with no further exposition, knowing she had shed too many tears today and any more would just be a waste. Teddy's encouragement to bury her heartbreak still lingered in the forefront of her mind. Carl noticed her shutting down and decided to question it no more, knowing how painful it is to relive the excruciating past.

"We'll start back at sunup" Tilly heard rick mutter as he walked away to help everyone else. She couldn't find the effort to speak up let alone ask if she was needed, she figure she was just a tag-along at this point and would ruin the whole inner workings if she suddenly started asking an unnecessary question. So she stayed silent, watching Carl attentively feed his little sister whilst he angled his body to make sure she was in the shade. She pulled her knife out and aimlessly made shapes in the dirt with the dull tip.

"How old are you, kid?" Tilly heard before she lifted her head to see the burly red-headed man who carried Teddy to the field. His head blocked the sunlight giving him an almost almighty look that Tilly would have laughed at if she had not just stuck a blade through her honorary brother's head. She hesitated for a moment, her knife movements stopping so she could think about such a simple question.

"I dunno. Probably like fifteen or something" she estimated, bowing her head once more at the embarrassing question. Being anything under the age of twenty could go either way for you these days: either you find someone kind enough to understand you're a kid, or you've seen as a weak link and tossed out on your ass. Tilly sincerely hoped it was the former this time.

"Same age as Carl here" Michone added from the trees as she fixed up the traps. Abraham reached for the duffel bag behind him, filling the silence with the aggressive zipping noise of the bag opening.

"Great, we can help each other with homework" she sarcastically spat out a little too aggressively. She was well aware this wasn't like her but she was living off of minimal sleep and recent heartache so acting like a regular teenager seemed okay to her at that moment. She looked up expecting to be scolded by the man but instead saw a grin as he chuckled at the girl's antics.

"I like this one, she's got spunk" he laughed a bit as he pulled out a handgun and dropped the rest of the duffel.

"Sorry" she mumbled, exchanging glances with Carl who also had a bit of a smirk on his face. Something so minuscule as the corners of his mouth cheekily lifting sent a rush of heat through her body. Tilly never really understood why these things happened to her but it was her understanding that getting older sucked because everything was one-hundred more times awkward no matter how simple the situation.

Looking away from the boy her head returned to Abraham who was offering her a handgun. She looked from the gun to the man a few times before placing her hand on the top gently and lowering it to deny his offer. Abraham scoffed and rolled his eyes before raising the gun again to her eye level.

"You're old enough to talk back, you're old enough to carry a gun," he spoke, shaking the firearm a little to encourage her to take it. Tilly looked back at him and shook her head, her eyes once again focusing on her practically useless knife.

"I've already got one, it's hidden in the bottom of my bag" she let out quietly, pointing to the pack that barely had anything useful in it besides some old clothes and a half-empty water bottle.

"You've had a gun this whole time?" Michone walked over to the teenagers swiftly at the alarm of possible danger, her hand gripping tighter to her rifle which Tilly did not fail to notice.

"Hasn't got any ammo" she shrugged her shoulders as she held her hands up, not wanting to admit it was pretty stupid of her to not mention the concealed weapon. The adults narrowed their eyes at her before she reached into her bag slowly and unravel the gun from the dirty shirt littered with blood and holes. Her hand gripped the handle tightly as she felt the rough carvings of the wood push into her fragile skin. She released the magazine and tipped it to prove she was being honest. The adults became visibly relaxed as Michone held out her hand, indicating for the teen to hand it over.

She felt like she was in school again and had just been caught with some kind of contraband, the shutter of being in trouble with authority figures rushed over her as she sheepishly handed over the handgun by its handle. Michone took it with ease but not before noticing the messy carving in the wood that lay on the deadly weapon. She looked up with questioning eyes.

"T.S.J?" she asked, facing the carvings towards the girl. Tilly's head dropped so the older woman would not see the brimming tears lacing her expression.

"Teddy St James" she whispered, lacing her fingers in her knotted hair and letting her hand fall to the worn-out collar of the flannel she wore. The fabric roughened at the collar due to how much the previous owner had fiddled with it on every occasion. Michone let out a sorrowful sigh, pitying the girl for all she had just done. The taller woman crouched in front of the scared girl and placed a hand on her matted head. Tilly flinched at first, the touch on an adult all too familiar in her past yet never touches with such love and grace. She lifted her head and met her eyes with the woman.

"You know how to shoot?" she asked quietly.

"Teddy did," she said, all too aware of the prying eyes cemented on her at that moment. Carl abruptly lifted his head to the girl, echoes of burning questions for the girl racing through his fractured mind. What have you been through? wandered through the heads of everyone pained with hearing the girl's soft and feeble voice. The denial of her past burned in her eyes as her crackling voice let slip such simple words that carried gallons of hurt.

"I can teach you" the soft and gentle voice of Carl spoke from beside her, his words dripping with kindness and genuine motive. It had been so long since she had met such honest and authentic people that she felt almost alarmed at the lack of violence that seemed to cling to her oh so agonisingly. A small smile crept onto her face in appreciation of his gesture, and much to her surprise he also returned the warm expression. Tilly couldnt help but relish in the small moment shared between the two, soaking up such innocence in the tortured teens in a wold where a smile is almost as rare as water or food.

...........

As the moon traded places with the sun, the group gathered silently around the fire, Tilly slumping exaustedly into the empty space next to Michone. The woman smiled slightly and retired her eyes to the crackling fire, the orange flames dancing to beautifly against the black sky. Tilly shifted her head above her and rested her eyes on the splatters of stars in the sky, a sigh of relief escaping her as she embraced such a beautiful picture. Michone looked to the girl at her exclamation and followed her gaze to the scattered sky.

"You know, my mother used to tell me the when someone we love dies; They become a star in the sky so that they're always looking down on us." she said whilst looking at the glowing white dots.

Tilly smiled, taking note that she had done an unusual amount of it that day. She felt a lump form in her throat, thinking that one of the many beautiful spots in the sky could be Teddy looking over her. She never really believed in that sort of stuff, she was adamant that the world was cold and cruel and then it was forever black; but in such a moment of dispair she clung to the notion of some biblical afterlife to keep her from falling apart. For a moment she thought there wasn't enough space in the sky for the amount of lost stars these days.

"Maybe that's why the starts seemed brighter in the after" she spoke, her voice cracking from the amount of emotion begging to slip from her grasp. Michone looked at the girl in question.

"What do you mean?" she asked the fragile girl, her voice so soft and caring that it made Tilly feel like she was being bathed in soft honey.

"I always lived in the city, so the stars weren't as bright there. I know its because of the amount of light in the city but in the after... the stars seemed so much more present. Maybe its because of all this torturous loss that we need our dead etched into the sky." She explained as she looked to Michone, her features lit by the glowing flames as she moved her hand to Tilly's head and caressed her brown hair.

"So kiddo, where ya from?" Daryl spoke up once the rest of the conversations had died down. Tilly watched as the group's heads tured to the girl. Normally she would be cautious to share such information but upon further thought there was really no way it could hurt her. Their eyes burned into her as she was brought back to memories of school classmates as they similarly bore their eyes into the strange girl that never spoke. She would rather face a house full of walkers than have to walk into a cafeteria ever again.

"Boarding school on the edge of Gerogia." she piped up as her eyes met with the rugged man. "Then a small motor inn on the highway. Both got overrun so I was on the road again when..." her breath hitched as her head spun back to all those cruel memories, the people she lost and endured. Each memory a stain on her skin like burns and scars as a constant reminder to her failure for normalcy.

"You were at the school? Before?" Glenn asked the cowering girl. Tilly inhaled shakily and nodded her head. Nothing but the dim lighting and cracked windows of the school filling her head. When it all hit she was stuck there, and there began prolonged torture as her teachers scrambled to care for so many children that they hated. Painfully empty stomached and threats to kick her into the wild yelled in her ears like high pitched ringing tht never leaves.

"Im sorry that you didn't get to be with your family" Maggie chimed in as she rested a hand on Glenn's leg, a simple act to love leaving Tilly wanting something equally as beautifly comfortable. She was genuinely confused by the question, never realy thinking of her parents in the after or thinking they would offer any more love to her than her barbaric teachers did.

"Don't be. I couldn't imagine that my parents particularly care where I am if they're not dead" she lifted her head after such a blunt statement and returned to that moment on the road where everyone looked at her like a defenceless puppy, it almost angered her how gently they looked at her however it was all she could ever want; to be cared for. "Everyone's got their shit right?" she finished to lighten the mood.

"Damn right kid" Daryl caught the attention of Tilly as his eyes bore into hers, what she imagined was the closest to a smile for the brooding man.

That night Tilly slept better than she had in months, not worried or concerned about there only being one other person with her or being trampled by a hoard. Although she woud have given anything for that boy to be next to her, she finally found enough peace within her to sleep though the night under the glow of the nights stars.

𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧

well there is chapter 2.

i'm gonna do little flashbacks to give background to Tilly and what happened to her before the group because my god is it  ✨painful✨

anyway hope you enjoyed