⋆ ☄︎. · ̊ * 🔭
chapter twenty-one

After arriving in the building, Yoongi and I make our way to our shared dorm.

"Yona," Yoongi calls out suddenly, making me face him.

"Yeah, hyung?" I motion for him to continue, bobbing my head to the side in the process.

"Can we talk real quick?" He asks me.

I nod my head while mumbling, "yes, of course."

He nods his head as well and leads the way up on the rooftop. He sits down, I copy his actions and take a seat on the floor next to him.

"Did something happen?" I question him, a small frown on my face.

"No," he's quick to shake his head, "I just wanted to talk to you about something."

"Oh, okay," I nod my head and look in front of me, gazing at the dark blue sky.

Stars light the sky like snow-flakes in the night, yet appear still, like an old photograph.

Feeling the wind blow my hair into a tousled mane, I enjoy the soft breeze of air.

"I always expect you to tell us or more likely me, everything about your life," he begins while I start to look at him, "but you don't even know anything about mine."

"What do you mean?" I question him in perplexity, sitting up straight and giving him my full attention.

"After lots of thinking, I kind of get why you can't tell us many things," he nods his head while his eyes glisten in the dark, "I mean, why would you tell us about your past if we don't tell you anything or if you can't trust us anyway?"

My eyebrows furrow as I stare at him in utter confusion. "It's not that I don't trust you guys," I shake my head slowly, "it's just that my mouth can't form the right words and even if it does, I can't speak it out."

"The thing is..." I sigh out loudly, trying to put my thoughts together. "I don't like being controlled. And I just..."

My hands ball themselves into fists. "I don't want to be judged," the words leave my mouth more vulnerable than I want them to. I curse myself in my head because of that. "I just... want to move on and live a better life."

He looks at me for a while and starts to nod his head softly, deep in thought.

We look down at the floor and I speak up quietly, "I've always been like this, I'm sorry. My mother always used to tell me that I'm as emotional as a stone," I chuckle bitterly.

"That's not true," Yoongi is quick to disagree and shakes his head, "you just express your emotions in a different way. Instead of saying other people that you care about them, you like to show it. Actions speak louder than words, Yona."

Pulling my head up, I look at him with big eyes. "The fact that you bought all of us food, even though you don't have much money yourself, says a lot about you," he tells me in a soft tone.

"You probably went through a lot and don't know how to express your emotions anymore, you're influenced by your dark past," he continues, "but you're not alone, Ahri."

"I know how you feel," he stares at me, a small smile on his face, "and that's why I try to help and protect you because I don't want you to do the same mistakes I did."

From deep inside my chest, through every cell of my body, the warmth welcomes me like an old friend.

But it's strange because I haven't felt like this in a long time.

I nod my head softly, a faint smile painting my face while looking at him in fascination, mesmerized with his choice of wise words.

"Let's get back now," he stands up while patting the dirt off of his body, "we need to have a lot of sleep to work harder."

"True," I mumble and stand up as well, following him back into the building right after.

He opens the front door with his key and both of us step foot into our dorm.

"How did it go?" Namjoon appears while waving at us.

"Good, he wasn't mad at me," I shrug my shoulders, "he just thought I was in danger because of Yoongi hyung."

"Wait, really?" The leader starts to laugh, patting Yoongi's shoulder in the meantime.

The lead rapper simply shrugs his shoulders, a small smirk on his face.

"Did Jin hyung cook?" I ask excitedly, already making my way over to the kitchen.

"Yes, I did!" The oldest smiles while placing the meal in the middle of the table.

"Yay!" Jeongguk and Taehyung appear out of nowhere and sit down immediately.

After Hoseok comes out of the bathroom, he sits down on his usual seat and smiles at me. "Hello!" He greets.

"Hey," I smile back and take a seat next to him.

"Let's start now!" Jin beams a smile and starts eating first since he's the oldest.

Looking around, my smile faints slightly. "Wait, where's Jimin hyung?" I ask around, my eyes wandering over the room.

"He's practicing at the building," Taehyung informs me, digging into the food.

My eyebrows furrow and soon a frown is planted on my face. "Why?"

"He does that many times," Namjoon speaks up while he sighs, "he's been doing it since he started training."

"Isn't he the one who trains the hardest? Why does he add practice, when he doesn't even have to?" I ask no one in particular, waiting for a rational explanation.

He must be exhausted at this point. And I thought I was tired, but his situation is even worse than mine.

"Jiminie can be really insecure," Hoseok mumbles from beside me, "we tried to stop him, but he won't listen."

Sadness builds in my system and I suddenly don't have an appetite anymore.

I can't eat when I think about how Jimin has been probably starving himself, practicing too much, and being filled with insecurities.

"I'll go to the bathroom real quick," I tell the others while excusing myself.

They nod nonchalantly since they're occupied with their meals.

Closing the kitchen door behind me, I take a pen and a little piece of paper from the bedroom.

'I'll be practicing with Jimin.'

I write it on the small note and place it neatly on the leader's mattress.

Taking my jacket with me, I step out of my dorm and quickly head to the Entertainment.

After stepping foot into the building, I stride towards the practice room and already hear some muffled music playing.

Sighing loudly, I open the door and go inside, startling him in the process.

"Ahri-ah, what are you doing here?" Jimin asks me in shock, stopping the music immediately.

His clothes and face are sweaty, his hair literally gluing onto his forehead.

Taking my jacket off, I step beside him and look at our reflection in the mirror.

"I know that I can't stop you," I state as I look at him through the mirror, "so you can't stop me as well."

"Ahri, no—" he starts but I cut him off.

"We're doing this together," I declare while turning to face him.

He stares at me for a while and nods after some time. "Okay," he mumbles and starts the music again.

A small smile is painting his full lips while we practice together.

After many hours, my body falls on the floor. "Hyung, I'm tired," I mumble while closing my eyes exhaustedly.

"Me too," he states groggily and sits down against the wall while grabbing a bottle of water.

Copying his actions, I sit down beside him and dry my sweat with a towel.

"I'm so exhausted," he breathes heavily, resting his head on the wall.

"Same, bro," I agree in English, making him chuckle.

"How many languages do you actually speak, Ahri?" He asks me, lifting his head from the wall and gazing at me in interest.

I think for some time before answering. "I speak German, Korean, English, Japanese, and Spanish. I want to learn Cantonese though, it's such a hard but beautiful language!" I exclaim as I count with my fingers. "Many people only know one language, but in Europe, it's very normal to speak more than at least three languages."

"Okay I get the first three one," he holds a confused hand up, "but, Japanese and Spanish? How? How much time do you have? I don't think they teach Japanese in German schools."

"My brother has always been really interested in the Japanese culture. He learned the language fluently and taught me." I shrug my shoulders. "And Spanish..." I trail off slightly.

"You know the boy I told you guys about? Seojun?" I ask him, bobbing my head to the side.

He nods his head, motioning for me to continue. "I did know some words in Spanish because I was really interested in their culture, but the biggest influence was Seojun. He taught me everything," I nod my head while looking into Jimin's eyes, "he used to live in Spain and is fluent in Spanish, that's why our group's name was Santos and he named me Arquero."

"Arquero is actually the male version... And I should actually be named Arquera, since I'm a girl..." I frown slightly. "But it was part of my disguise, so we just kept it."

"We somehow became best friends," a small smile makes it's way to my face while I look at the floor, "I never really had friends, same with Seojun because people always thought that he was intimidating, cocky, and rough."

"He is, though," I chuckle lightly, making my older member laugh as well.

"But I got to know him better and learned that he's actually such a caring boy. He was the first person I ever trusted and we used to have each other's back all the time," my eyes sadden just by thinking about it.

Jimin patiently listens to me while I'm explaining my friendship with him.

"I never got attached to someone like that and he fully exploited it. I trusted him so much, showed him my weaknesses but then he—" I choke and can't seem to finish the last sentence.

Just say it, Yona. Think about your emotions out loud.

"Then?" Jimin asks me carefully.

I breathe in and exhale it loudly. "I knew his weaknesses and he knew mine. He used my weak spots as his advantage though," I trail off while my head's hanging low, my breathing somehow shallow.

"I thought of doing the same to him," I look up and shake my head while meeting Jimin's eyes, "but I discovered that I don't have the heart to do him like he did me."

My member stares at me sadly, pulling me closer and wrapping his arms around me in an instant. "I'm so glad that you can trust me," he whispers while stroking my hair softly.

"He knows that I could never forgive him, why would he do it then?" I frustratingly ask myself, letting Jimin's warmth take over me as I enjoy his comfort.

"I miss him so much," I mumble into his chest, clutching his sweater tightly.

I want to cry, sob, and let everything out, but nothing happens and my eyes stay dry like a lonely desert.

( AUTHOR'S NOTE ! )
please have in mind that han seojun
from true beauty and lee seojun from
this book aren't the same person. i did
take inspiration from the manhwa (i
mentioned it while it was still unedited)
but they're still very different in different
aspects. (team seojun all the way tho😡)