❛ ━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━ ❜

╰┈➤ 𝘈𝘍𝘛𝘌𝘙 𝘒𝘐𝘈𝘙𝘈 𝘛𝘖𝘓𝘋 𝘜𝘚 𝘛𝘏𝘈𝘛 𝘚𝘏𝘌 was no longer welcome at her parents' house, Meggi and I came up with the idea of throwing a slumber party for us girls at her house. Of course together with Sarah and Kiara. The boys, however, didn't like the idea one bit. Maybe because they were bored without us girls - after all, there wasn't anything nice to look at then - or they just needed us and didn't want to admit it.

"I'm so glad that Topper isn't here for once," said Meggi, to which the others agreed. Especially Sarah. "I wonder how I was ever able to be with him."
"I think we're all wondering." A grin broke out and the four girls spread out on Meggi's floor to play a game or just just laughing all night. Sarah pulled out of her bag a bottle of wine that she had stolen from her dad. Along with Coke, she made us all a mix to start with.

"I can't remember the last time I did this-an all-girls night out." Kiara grinned briefly.

"That was probably at your seventh grade birthday party." We all knew what I meant, so we laughed.

"What a pity I wasn't in the Outer Banks at the time," I said, almost sadly.

"Well, I was invited," said Meggi. "Except that Sarah and I weren't really friends then."

"That's right," Sarah said defensively. After each of us had drunk at least the first glass, Sarah turned up the music and danced. So that she wasn't so alone, I kept her company and she showed me her legendary dance moves.
"Woah, how am I supposed to keep up?!" I grinned and winked at her.

Kiara and Meggi couldn't resist any longer, so the four of us danced through the room. One worse than the other, but the funnier it was. And after a while you didn't feel so embarrassed anymore and dared to show what you really had.

Kiara turned Meggi around and Sarah and I cheered her on, laughing, until she said "stop" and had to take a break because she was getting sick. To be fair, we all sat down on the ground again, probably exhausted one way or another.

"We can also just play spin the bottle," Meggi suggested, holding her head a little, which is why I gave her a worried look, but she understood and just shook her head. She was fine.

Kiara spun the bottle first, but landed on herself and had to spin again. This time she landed on Sarah.
"Are you thinking about John B?" she asked, and we all gave her a slightly suggestive grin. "Yes," she admitted, and we all burst out laughing again.

Sarah spun and this time she landed on me. I bit the inside of my cheek nervously. I hoped it wouldn't be a question that made me blush. Sarah could be very insensitive about that.

As it turned out, I was right.
"Is it true that you have a crush on my brother?" Oh no. It took me far too long to come up with an appropriate answer when thinking about it, which has never happened before. The grins of the others didn't diminish.

Especially Meggi had this one Emma-admit-it-finally-look and the I-know-everything-look. Both were very scary and in no way wrong.

"He's nice to me," I said instead, smiling silently to myself.

Meggi gave the I-tell-you-look towards Sarah and Kiara, whereupon both of them just nodded because they surely knew it one way or the other. Girls were a lot more foreboding than boys. I didn't even say yes or no! cheek. "At least I know it's between us. My brother would lock me up," I voiced my thoughts, grimacing solemnly because I was really going to end up like this. And that was for several reasons. For one, because he was almost two years older, was a Kook, and his name was Rafe Cameron. But maybe also because he couldn't bear to have to share me in any other way. I felt no different when he was with Sarah! Shouldn't he act like that?

"We're going to be so quiet, Emma." Kiara used her fingers to zip up the imaginary zip in front of her mouth. "Thanks."

When it was my turn to spin the bottle, it landed on Kiara.
"Do you have anyone you like?" She nodded wordlessly and took a larger sip before spinning again.

We played for quite a while and the questions made less and less sense, or became beyond rude. Until the bottle was empty and Sarah was the first who fell asleep.

: ̗̀➛

I layed on Meggi's little sofa, which was in her room and through which one you could see the starry sky outside.
Meggi layed on her bed with Kiara. They probably assumed I was sleeping when I overheard what they were saying to each other.

"Meggi?"
Kiara had asked.

"Mhm?"

"Just wondering if you're still awake."

Meggi rolled over in her bed so that they could both look at each other.

"Can't you sleep?" she asked, taking her hand. They both laced their fingers together and Kiara gave them a short smile before turning back. A few minutes passed, breathing softly, before Kie spoke again.

"I meant you before."

A weary sigh.

"I know. I like you too," Meggi replied, and they both laughed softly, but happily.

: ̗̀➛

According to the color of the sky, it had been almost an hour since I fell asleep. And even now I felt neither top fit nor dead tired. To save myself from the useless tossing and turning that followed, I sat up quietly, climbed over Sarah and accidentally kicked the wine bottle around.

I twitched and stayed in my position for a moment, but because no one seemed to complain, I kept walking. I badly needed some air.

I leaned the terrace door ajar, but to be on the safe side I put a stone in between in case it should close because of the wind. My favorite thing was that there was a big wooden swing set on Meggi and Topper's porch.

So I tucked a pillow behind my back and lay lengthwise on the swing, dangling my legs over the other side. Pulling a pre-rolled joint out of my pocket to light it, I rocked back and forth in the wind. Fortunately, the chains were first oiled and therefore do not squeak unnecessarily loud.

I thought of many things. Tonight, what was going on up there in the room, what the boys were doing and whether our dad was still out there somewhere. He would certainly be relieved that John B and I now had each other. Even if the youth welfare office now had two cases that had to be captured verbatim.

It was gradually getting cold and I felt how tired I was all of a sudden. I rolled the joint on the floor before heading back inside. I pushed the stone away from the patio door and locked it. Instead of taking the quickest route up the stairs, I turned left into the living room. I went to see if there was anything to drink in the kitchen.

However, I didn't expect a small lamp to be on in the living room and someone sitting on the couch. Rafe had a book open in his lap, and his absence looked more like a refuge on his face. He only recognized me at second glance; the book immediately shut and pushed under a pillow. He wrinkled his nose nervously and ran a hand through his hair. "Can't you sleep at night either?" he asked, looking a little distracted.

I sat down next to him so I could look at him sideways and pulled my legs up so I could wrap my arms around them. "Yeah, not being able for a long time." His gaze rested on me and I don't think he'll look away again.

It is a silent exchange that happens between us and it goes so deep that I fear for my heart. "Do you always go to Topper when you can't sleep?" I asked, but I'd rather change the climate.

Rafe gave a short laugh. "No, no, just a few things happened ... and I can't be home right now. But everything will be fine. I'll work it out ... I'll fix it ..." He nodded eagerly to himself a few times and glanced at me again, then pressed his hands to his face with a heavy sigh.

My lips curled up in a sad sight. I gently pulled his hands away and looked at him.

"Don't do that," I whispered. "You may cry, Rafe. No matter how old you are or no matter what gender you are. Suppressing it does more damage than triggering your tears already does."

Each subsequent tear that fell down his so beautiful face after that, I brushed away gently with my thumb and then kissed him on the spot. I know Ward is telling him to pull himself together, that he's okay, and that he's making Rafe feel like he's not good enough. Not conforming to what is asked of him. He should grow up. To take responsibility. Make something of yourself and take control of your life. But how is that supposed to work when no matter what you do, it's wrong and not good enough? When you weren't really allowed to be a child, because more was and should always have been asked of you than you can give and fulfil. This is anything but fair and normal.

"I know what you're doing and what you're trying to do. You're trying so hard and he's not even looking ... he's not even looking, huh?," I breathed and he shook his head, fingers to his lips. "All he sees is Sarah, and she doesn't even bother. That's not fair. I know. But that's not your fault, nor hers. A father should not love one child more than the other. And if he can't do that, he should never have been a father."

He nodded and nodded, breathing harder and I put my hand on his heart, trying to find a rhythm with him by letting him breathe normally to calm himself . Rafe narrowed his eyes and I gently pushed him aside so he lay down.

He pulled me towards him and wrapped an arm around me. My right hand and his left hand were clasped on his stomach and I stroked them a little.

"I feel better when you're with me, Emma. you see me who I am. Otherwise it's like nobody's listening. Like everything's so empty."

"Shhh, it's okay. you are safe now. You don't have to feel all this anymore," I assure him and he kisses the top of my head in thanks before turning off the light.

It was probably the first night in an unthinkable long time that Rafe had not only been able to sleep, but also felt safe doing it. No matter what, he would not give his Emma back. At no price.

❛ ━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━ ❜