❛ ━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━ ❜

╰┈➤ 𝘞𝘏𝘌𝘕 𝘔𝘠 𝘉𝘙𝘖𝘛𝘏𝘌𝘙 𝘞𝘖𝘒𝘌 𝘜𝘗
in the hospital, thankfully only sprained his wrist, Ward informed us that we would be staying with him from now on. That would put an end to the foster family thing and we'd always be in the Outer Banks with our friends.

So I rode the Twinkie back to our cabin and we packed our essentials. Clothes, John B some photos, I mean notebooks and other books. I ended up packing more books than clothes, which made my brother mad at me. "Having the same thing for three days isn't as bad as having one book for three days!" I justified myself, defiantly putting my hands on my hips.

"Sarah will definitely lend you something," he said, shaking his head and then smiling at me. "What is it?"
"By now I would have realized that we are twins." He stopped while frantically stuffing his clothes into his backpack.
"I said the exact same thing to Dad as a kid when we were packing for a fishing trip."

I smiled at his nostalgic face, immensely glad I wasn't alone. In order not to unnecessarily burden his arm, I pushed him gently to the side, closed his b6ackpack and ran ahead.

He took a can of beer for the ride and I started the engine, opening it for him first.
"Thank you."
"Of course you invalid."
"That's really sprained!"
"And I'm not in love with Rafe Cameron."
"You are what?"
He looked at me in shock, almost spilling the beer on his seat.

"Oh, that was just an example." I rolled my eyes at the mirror and stifled a giggle. He didn't have to kid me at all, couldn't admit to himself that he liked Sarah.

: ̗̀➛

Ward took the two extra bags from me, which I pulled out of the Twinkie while both my brother and I carried backpacks. "It's even bigger on the inside than on the outside," my brother murmured in amazement, and Ward gave a short laugh and patted him on the back. I growled suspiciously to myself and analyzed the situation while a thousand thoughts circled through my head. Was that really such a good idea? Why couldn't we just stay in our own home with all the memories of Dad?

I sighed and linked my arm with JB, which made him smile lovingly at me and made me feel better. "We're still together. That will not change either. Don't worry, Emma."

I nodded, leaning on his shoulder for a second before Ward led us up the twisted staircase to the second floor to show us our rooms.
"Yours is on the right," he explained to my brother before looking at me, "and yours is on the left. There's a door in between so you can easily walk to each other without having to go down the hall."

I set my backpack on the bed and sat on the edge. "This is a dream. Thank you Mr Cameron. Really."

"You can call me Ward," he said, waving his hand. I smiled at him cautiously. He stroked his beard and Sarah appeared behind him. "Then I'll let you guys unpack," he said and disappeared, leaving Sarah to take his place.

"So the Routledges are moving in with the Camerons, huh?," she giggled, sitting on the bed with me, messing her hair up a little more.

"We can have a lot more fun now than before," she grinned and I nodded eagerly, excited to see what we would do. But if I had had a choice, I would have gone to Meggi without a doubt. I could huddle underground with her for the rest of my life should an apocalypse threaten. We would only grow closer together instead of fighting. I missed her very much.

Tensely I played with my fingers and cleared my throat a little.

"I'm going to my own room. See you later." I pulled my backpack off the bed and padded through the sliding door, closing it after me.

My room seemed much larger. It was right on the wall of the house and had a larger glass wall in front of which one could sit, almost even lie down. And there was a huge bookshelf. Sarah must have chosen the rooms. Beaming, I slowly walked around the room, running my fingertips over the walls, the shelves and the soft bed covers. It was like paradise. Being rich could indeed bring happiness.

I heard Sarah and my brother's voices through the door and their laughter, but I didn't understand what they were saying. Standing in front of the shelf, I pulled out a book that had an interesting title and an attractive cover. Book in hand, I settled into the window seat, bent my legs, and laid the book on it while looking out the window.

A few gardeners were trimming the landscaping and tidying up the last of the branches that the hurricane had knocked off the tree. Rafe's motorcycle was parked nearby. Then the book had me completely under its spell and I was gone.

Whatever happened, I took no notice of it. The only thing that mattered was the story I was told. How the protagonist stood up for herself and for others, how she showed courage and said who she loved, knowing that she would face the death penalty afterwards. But she felt so endless and had such a bright spot that this darkness seemed far away. As if you could grab them, but would only catch air. And she'd rather go down thinking she'd tried than never tried. She was hanged at the end of the story.

A normal unbourgeois. Her lover later ruled the country, married a noble woman he did not love in order to change the law for his dead love. From that day on, it was said that there was no difference between commoners and nobles. This is how the residents greeted everyone who crossed their path. The seller was the buyer himself. Gave and took something. They all met each other as equals and there was recognition, love, family. The world was laid at their feet after their eyes were opened. And for that it took a single person courage before everyone else had it.

I wanted to be like that too. So courageous and sure of what I did that I was aware of the consequences, but they couldn't harm me. Who wouldn't want to change the world?

As small and different as it may be for everyone. I sighed and wiped the corners of my eyes, had actually cried by the end of the book. It was perfect. I closed it thoughtfully, glanced at the clock and got nervous. A full four hours had passed. The gardeners had gone and all the branches had been removed. Only Rafe's motorcycle remained the same as before.

I leaned my head against the glass pane and thought of all the people who once lived and are no longer alive. Or ones that may be taking their last breath at this very moment. Have they also done what they can say has achieved something? Something changed? Did you enjoy life as much as it could? And then I thought of all those who couldn't leave soon enough. That broke my heart, although I understood more than enough what it was like.

There was a knock at the door. Gradually I winced and stopped my thoughts.
"Yes?" I asked.

Sarah opened the door a crack and stopped at her. "It's time for dinner. Come on."

I put the book back on the shelf, took another look at my now new room, and walked downstairs with her to the dining table. My brother was engaged in conversation with Ward, Rose and Wheezie were seated at the table and Rafe joined them at the same moment, wrinkling his nose at first. I was up to my neck in fear. It felt like I had to pass an exam to avoid noticing that I was a Pogue and had absolutely no money. Or that I knew how to behave when the family ate together.

I didn't know that.

Mom cooked and called me, but she ate alone in the living room and I ate alone in my room. In between there was no communication ... no love. I didn't miss that about her and the past.

"Here you come. We were just wondering what you beauties are up to," Ward said a little louder, so everyone sat down at the set table. "We're here now," Sarah replied.

My brother sat between Sarah and me, so I sat next to Rafe. He probably didn't want to sit next to him himself. I didn't look at him, feeling uncomfortable and guilty. But above all as if we had imposed ourselves. As if we don't deserve to be treated like that. But I felt something change in his expression even though he didn't say anything.

My brother, on the other hand, seemed more relaxed and built up a conversation that involved everyone who showed interest or participated. There was all kinds of food on the table. From bread to pickles and fruit. It wasn't until I looked at everyone else and Wheezie smiled at me encouragingly that I realized everyone had food on their plates except me. Swallowing, my cheeks became hot from the tension and made the whole thing a nightmare. It felt like everyone was looking at me. As if they were watching me and laughing out loud if something embarrassing happened to me. Squinting my eyes for a second, I jerked the strap and grabbed an apple while bouncing my foot up and down.

It tasted good, but nothing to my brain because I couldn't enjoy it a bit. Luckily my eating noises were drowned out by the voices of the others and I tried to calm down before Rafe put his hand on my thigh. I got goosebumps and my leg stayed still as it should. For the first time that evening I looked him straight in the eye and it seemed like he was incredibly happy about it.

He nodded calmly and I exhaled some pent-up air. His hand stayed where it was and with his index finger he drew small circles on my knee. I was grateful for his help and it calmed me down in a way. "Emma?"

"Hmm?" I was a little startled when Sarah called my name.

"Are you coming to the party later?" I looked uncertainly at the others at the table, wondering if I wanted to.

"Sarah darling," Ward said. "Let our new roommates arrive first. I'm sure there'll be a party tomorrow, too." I smiled gratefully, feeling really good about getting used to the fact that this was my home for now.

"We can do something together here, too," I suggested. Grinning, she agreed and finished her plate. After the others were done, everyone put away their plates and went their separate ways. Wheezie still had homework to do and some business to discuss with Sarah's parents. Sarah showed my brother something and I made my way to my room. At the bottom of the stairs, I turned right and bumped into Rafe.

When he recognized me, he took another step towards me and wrapped his arms around me. "You're punishing me by not speaking to me, huh?," he murmured in the direction of my ear. "What have I done, Emma?"

I returned his hug around my neck and pulled him sparsely closer to me.

"You did not do anything. It's okay, isn't it?"

Rafe got out of the hug and looked at me, trying to read my eyes to make sure everything was really okay.
"Come to my room at midnight, do you hear?" He brushed a strand of hair out of my face and grabbed my hand. I squeezed her a little.

"I'll be there."

Rafe nodded eagerly, and as soon as he heard Sarah's voice calling me, he kept walking. I turned back to him and our eyes met again, because he had done exactly the same thing.

I smiled silently to myself and trotted into Sarah's room. She was sitting at her desk, pasting something in a notebook.
"You called me." She glanced at me and closed the notebook, now turning fully to face me. I sat down on her bed.

"Shall we curl each others hair? And let me dress you, please!" she said, batting her eyes beggingly. I nodded laughing. "Okay."

Beaming with joy, she clapped her hands together and pulled a curling iron from her drawer, which she plugged into the mains while I turned on some music. My brother must have been busy with the Royal Merchant's papers, which he was dying to see.

"You know what I was thinking about?"

"No, what?"

"That there's some magic. Between the Camerons and the Routledges. Me and John B and Rafe and you, you know?" I walked over to her, picked up the curling iron, and wrapped her first strand of hair around it. She'd already combed them herself.

"Rafe and I?" I repeated, raising an eyebrow.

"How many times do I have to tell you that? He would do anything for you! And I'm telling you that as his sister, whose dolls he used to rip the heads off." I burst out laughing, nearly burning myself.

"He really did," she confirmed, giggling a little.

"I laugh because I can more than imagine it. I would have done the same. I've always found dolls kind of ... disgusting. It sounds weird, but I never had any and never wanted them."

Sarah held back her laughter. "You guys really match. Both cold-blooded doll killers," she slipped it into my hand and I was already through the first side of her blonde hair.

"Let's talk about something else instead," I tried to change the subject. "Does my brother treat you well, too?"

Through the mirror in front of her I could see her thoughtful smile. "Yeah, more than good."

"Well, he knows I'll be chasing him all over the Outer Banks." I shrugged innocently, almost done.

"I heard you got a dominating reputation." Sarah gave me a suggestive grin and I sprayed her full curls with a little hairspray before we switched places and it was my turn.

Sarah told me about the time at Kook Academy and how different the people and the classes were there, so after the styling she put me in her uniform. I looked far too innocent and cheeky at the same time.

"Wow, that looks like you're sleeping with the teacher," she said from behind me, looking at me.

"Oh my god, Sarah!" I muttered, begging her to give me regular pajamas. From her drawers she dug black shorts and a cropped top. I didn't complain by saying I would most likely be uncomfortable in it and just put it on.

"You look better than me." I took a look at myself in the mirror and was even quite satisfied. I didn't look that bad after all. "Thanks."

We hugged each other and lay down on her bed with the lights dimmed, staring at her ceiling and talking more about the past. Every time she started talking about it, she seemed sad. Only this sadness was probably not related to the fact that it was over, but rather to what was happening there.

I held out a joint to lighten the mood. "Do you want some?"

"Okay." I lit it up and smoked it for her before handing it over. "Slow down," I warned her. She obediently followed my instructions, but coughed up half her lungs after the first puff, which made me laugh.

"If you purse your lips and kind of kick out the smoke, you can make a ring," I told her, showing her how.

She looked impressed. "That's cool. Might be a reason I'm into you." I grinned to myself and glanced at the door as Wheezie walked past. "I can smell your weed all over the place!," she growled, which made us roll onto our stomachs and laugh even more.

"By the way-" I turned back to her after a moment of silence, but Sarah layed on her bed, stunned. I gritted my teeth not to laugh and carefully tucked her in. I turned off the light and leaned the door to her room. It was already fifteen minutes past midnight. The lights were dim in the hallway and I snuck down the hallway to get further back to Rafe's room. His door was closed and for a moment I felt infinitely stupid.

Maybe he didn't want me to come - just joking with Topper. But because I was far too curious about what his room looked like, I quietly opened the door a crack. Rafe immediately sat up straight on his bed and after closing the door I sat down next to him.

"Did I wake you up?" I asked.

"No, I've been waiting for you." I nodded in understanding, knowing he wouldn't have been able to sleep anyway. Rafe scooted closer and gently lifted my chin. "Your hair-" he cleared his throat, "you're getting every day more gorgeous."

Without looking down, I let the embarrassment take over and took his hand in mine. I gently stroked his fingers, tracing his veins and looking at the rings he always wore. I felt his intense gaze on me the whole time. He got under my skin and he didn't even bother to stare inconspicuously.

"Rafe?"

"Mmm?" he muttered questioningly, and I looked back up at him.

"Nothing, just wanted to say your name." I bit my lower lip nervously. When would he realize I was playing games with him? He nodded a few times, then kissed me wantingly and went with me more in the middle of his bed. His elbows rested on either side of my face and I liked how soft his lips were. But even more so how perfectly they fit mine. As if we were made for each other.

"Say my name," he demanded, breaking the kiss in time. Swallowing, I studied his face and my heart was so excited by the situation that I was afraid it would jump out of my chest.

"Rafe," I did, stroking his damp lower lip with my index finger and watching his blue eyes darken.

"Repeat," he said, licking his lips where my finger had been resting moments before.

"Rafe, Rafe, Rafe ..." He moaned briefly and kissed me again. This time much more intimate, wet. "You're killing me, fuck. The way you say my name is better than any head cinema in the world."

I freaked out even more, wrapping a leg around his waist and turning the game around by now sitting over him on his lap and his hands over his head held tight. "Beg if you want me to let go." I grinned down at him. Rafe looked a fraction both startled and impressed that I had overpowered him.

"Oh, I see ..." he murmured, the corners of his mouth twisting into a much wider grin than before.

"You didn't expect that, huh? Always thinking you're invincible and in charge," I teased, clicking my tongue.

"Emma," he squeezed my hands, but I held his ground, "the fact that you defy me in so many ways is one of the reasons, I'm obsessed with you. You are unpredictable. I'm trying to figure out what you're going to do next and then you're doing the opposite and raising even more questions. Don't ever think I underestimate you. You're the smartest person I know and you have more strength than some who exercise."

I let go of his hands and he sat up, wrapping his arms around me before I could get off his lap.

"Yet you're mine," he added, whispering. "Only mine."

"I don't belong to anyone, Rafe."

"Sure?" he asked, putting his right hand on where my heart is. "But it beats really frighteningly fast ... you've fallen for me, Emma. Admit it, because you're mine now, do you hear?" His voice dropped a few pitches and became more serious.

"Shhh, calm down," I whispered in amusement, breaking away from his tight grip so we could lie down on his bed together. He wrapped an arm around my side and I laid my head on his chest. He gently stroked my head and I could feel his defined abs through the fabric of his shirt.

Rafe gave a short sigh and I looked at him. "You are the only person who can make me feel like this, and therefore the only one who would be able to break my heart."

It was probably the most poetic thing I had ever heard him say and so full of anxious truth.

Rafe Cameron had just privately told me that he was in love with me and that I meant more to him than anyone.

"I want to fall asleep next to you, Emma. And wake up like this in the morning. I would die for you. At any time. Give me a chance and I'll prove to you that I've changed, yeah? I'm not how your friends think I am."

I continued to stroke his stomach muscles soothingly. I nodded softly. "I don't think like my friends, Rafe. I still have my own mind. And I guess I know you better than your own family. Whatever happens, there will never have to be a decision. You're the one. It will always be you, no matter how much I resist it. But I'm too scared that we might go down together."

I was silent for a while on the latter and briefly closed my eyes.

"We could kill each other. We'd betray each other if it was just to protect each other, you know?" Then he was silent for a while.

So

Freaking

Silent.

"Do you still want to try?" I asked, more afraid of my heart than of his answer ...

❛ ━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━ ❜