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Dear Diary I had a nightmare

Author's note: Would y'all be okay with me ending this book by December 2024-January 2025 max? I mean It's getting hard for me to consistently update all of them, and I know it's awful waiting for the updates, so I suppose ending the book would be a better choice because I can't update both books frequently. Also I've got exams till next Friday so there probably won't be any updates till then, I've updated both Style and Wildest Dreams, there's another chapter for Style half drafted so might update that soon. Enjoy reading! And I published a new ShubSara book called Say Yes To Heaven, would love your views on it!

17/11/22

Dear Diary,

I had a nightmare today.

It was way more horrible than the ones I've usually had, I could barely fall asleep again, desperately wanting her by my side.

I cannot lose her, I can lose anything and anyone but not her, God, not her.

The mere thought of it tears me apart from within.

Shubman woke up with a start, sweat beads forming on his forehead.

On the other bed, Ishan was fast asleep.

And he slowly realised, he was still in South Africa.

He took his mobile in hand, and a goofy picture of his and Sara grinned back at him.

He sighed, tears prickling his eyes.

There was still time for the alarm to ring, their flight was at eight in the morning, it was still four, and he wasn't going to sleep again.

He wouldn't fall asleep for sure.

As if out of reflex, he ended up dialling Sara's number.

She received it in the first ring itself, much to his relief.

" Shub? Isn't it like four a.m. there? Why are you awake so early?" Her melodious voice echoed over the other line, concerned.

" Sara...." he began, and his voice broke.

" Shub? Love what's wrong?"

" I miss you." He murmured brokenly, his heart shattering time and again as his mind replayed the nightmare he had.

" Shubman...tell me what's wrong." She urged, well aware that there was more to it and tears trickled down his cheeks at her plea.

" I had a nightmare." He admitted.
" I lost everyone close to me. Everyone. Everyone just disappeared. You too. I can't lose you Sara. Not you. It'd rip the life out of me if I lost you. I wouldn't be able to live, I'd die-"

" Don't you dare complete that sentence Shubman! I'm not going anywhere alright? I'm right here. I'm going to be right here."

" You promise?"

" I promise. Now wipe your tears and go back to sleep. It's too early and you're too tired and sleep deprived."

" I don't want to sleep." He mumbled, afraid that he'd have the same old nightmare again and she sighed.

" Shub, please. You really need rest. Once you return, I want you to take me on a date! But if you're too tired, how will you come with me?"

" Sara..."

" I'm hearing no excuses. Go to sleep please."

" I can't." His voice broke, tears streaming down his cheeks and she sighed, her heart ripping out of her chest at each sob that escaped his lips.

" Shub, you're breaking my heart. Please don't cry my love. There's nowhere I'm going leaving you behind. There's nowhere I can go leaving you behind. I'm all yours and all here, here to stay, stay forever."

" You're the first person I want to see at the airport after landing."

" I'll be there." She promised.

" I'm holding onto that promise."

" I'll be there Shub. Now I need you to close your eyes."

" What if it comes back? What if I have the same nightmare again?"

" It won't. But if you think about it a lot, it will."

" I'm scared Sara." He confessed shakily.
" I'm terrified, terrified of losing you. I can't bear it. I know I've been quite a jerk in the past, and was stupid enough to not realise my love for you sooner, but now that I have, I cannot lose you. You mean way more than you think you do to me."

She let out a sigh, his words shattering and fixing her at the same time.

" Shubman, I'm not letting you get rid of me, you hear me? I'm going to stay in your life till the very end and won't let you leave me even if you want to, I'll throw good lot of tantrums and make your life quite hard with them! I'm quite high maintenance Mr.Narcissist, you better know that!"

Shubman's eyes brimmed with tears, a weary smile spreading on his lips.

" I love you." He murmured, his voice thick with the unshed tears and he could almost see that smile on her face as she said,

" And I love you, to the moon and back! So much that you cannot even think of in your Wildest Dreams."

-Another glimpse from their domestic life, one of the days where Sara's pregnant, moody and adorable-

March 2028, Three Months Pregnant

Shubman chuckled as he re-read the diary, travelling down the memory lane, recalling all those things she told him.

True to her promise, she'd stayed by him, and they'd indeed made it.

His gaze flickered down, next to him, where his wife lay fast asleep, with a plush toy in her arms which he tried pulling out, but in vain.

For a fierce yet adorable sound escaped her lips as she tightened her hold on the plush toy and Shubman pressed his knuckles to his lips in order to stifle his laughter.

His wife was absolutely adorable.

He tried pulling it yet again and her brows furrowed, scowling even in her sleep as if someone finished all her ice-cream without telling her and he sighed as her eyes finally seemed to flicker open, and they glinted like fireflies seeing him back home.

She sat up so fast she'd have probably slammed into the bed rest had he not put his hand behind her head.

" Easy there love, easy."

" You're home!" She exclaimed happily and he hummed, a wide glimmer dancing on his lips, his eyes twinged with fondness as he stared at her, tucking a loose strand of her hair behind her ear.

" When did you come?"

" About an hour ago. I wanted to cuddle with you, but imagine coming home after a photoshoot straight to your wife, wanting to cuddle her, only to find her enjoying a plush toy's embrace more." He tsked before letting out a dramatic sigh, elicting a giggle from her.

" Well imagine waiting for your husband for hours altogether, especially when he promises you that today was the day he was supposed to spend with his wife and his baby, but he chooses to work instead. Such agony!" She let out a dramatic sigh as well and he pouted, immediately scooting closer to her.

" It changed all last minute, I tried to postpone it but it failed, otherwise I'd have been home! With you and little Miss Gill!" He planted a kiss on her stomach.

Sara giggled at the last sentence, her hand, out of reflex, going over her slightly swollen stomach.
" How are you sure it's a girl and not a boy?"

" Oh I'm certain it's a girl alright! A girl like you! A mini you!"

" She'll end up looking like me, but will have your personality I'm sure. So more of a mini us, Mr.Gill!" Sara nodded.

" So you do agree it's going to be a daughter Mrs Gill?"

She shrugged, a smile on her lips.

" Go get me ice-cream!"

" As you command Your Highness! Which flavour?"

" You choose. Any flavour except strawberry though!"

" Our daughter seems to hate strawberry ice-cream." He chuckled, nodding as he walked out of the room.

" Isn't Dadda late? Very very late? We ought to punish him for this don't we? Let's think of a good punishment."

" I'd like a good punishment." Shubman walked in with a bowl of mango ice-cream, a teasing lilt in his voice, his eyes twinged with playfulness and Sara's cheeks flushed red as she shot him a glare and turned away.

" Not the kind of punishment you want."

" Aw no? Too bad then." He was quick to steal a kiss from her and she glared at him.

" This! This is your punishment!"

" What? Twenty kisses?"

" No! No kisses!"

" No kisses?" He looked at her in horror and she nodded, adorable fury on her face.

" No kisses! This is what promise breakers get!"

" Is that even a thing?" He mumbled, scooting closer to her as she swatted his hand away.

" What do good husbands get then?"

" Were you a good husband today?"

Sighing, he just lay his head on her lap, taking her aback and her eyes softened, as her slender fingers gently tugged at his hair, undoing the knots and tangles.

He let out a contended sigh, his eyes closing, a smile playing on his lips.

This always worked.

" I missed you today. That bastard Jim, got his girlfriend on the sets, bet it was to rub it in my face! And as if that wasn't enough, Abhay, Yashasvi and Ishan dropped by with Tanvi, Eshanya and Aditi. Bastards, they did it to rub it in my face that you weren't around."

Sara laughed softly.
" Yashasvi's quite adorable around Eshanya."

" He is." Shubman hummed in agreement.
" I can't believe he's the same guy who claimed to hate her, and said all they had was a contract. He's so in love with her. They're even married now."

" Well you claimed to hate me too, and here we are now, with a baby on the way." She grinned and he sighed.

" Don't remind me, I was a fool."

" Should I say something to make you feel better or should I agree?" She asked, finishing the ice-cream he got for her and he sat up.

" The only thing and only one that can make me feel better, is you." He said, leaning in as he began planting kisses all over her face, elicting giggles from her.

She truly was the only one who made him feel better, wasn't she?

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