I couldn't deny that I was nervous to see Newt up that wooden, unstable tower. My heart pounded in my chest, my palms were sweaty, and I did not know what to expect.

He sat there, on the edge, both legs hanging over it. "Hey." My voice betrayed me by cracking. He replied the same thing, voice cracking too. It made me feel less nervous, somehow, knowing he was nervous too.

"How, uh, are you?" I wondered awkwardly.

"I'm fine. You?"

"I'm fine, too. Thanks."

One thing I knew; when someone said they were fine, they were anything but fine.

His eyes never met mine. He kept staring at the distance, or down. His blonde hair was messy as always, giving me slight comfort. "I'm sorry." He started. "I'm sorry for not visiting you."

"It's okay." I said fast. Maybe too fast. "At least you avoided getting hit by a book."

His shoulders made a slight movement. I took it as a sign he laughed in silence. "I really am sorry."

My anger for him had left the minute I saw his face again. Newt was too kind to betray me by suddenly dropping me. As Alby said, he had his reasons which I had to respect. "It's okay." I repeated.

"You're the first one I'm gonna tell this voluntarily." He continued, slowly, and in a low tone. "But first, I hope in the... future, you find someone you feel comfortable with too. Comfortable enough to also voluntarily tell how you got your limp."

He was comfortable with me. That was good. He would tell me how he got his- oh.

I had been dumb. I had been so. damn. dumb. How did I not realize why he wouldn't visit me?

"When I came up, in the Box, I cried. I felt empty." He swallowed deeply. "Something was missing all the time. Easily explained, we lost people along the way. We had no experience with Grievers or getting stung. And I felt guilty. Guilty enough to think it was my fault, and that I was worthless. Because who would like a bloody thin, insecure, and running... faggot."

I had no words. He didn't give me the time to say anything though, luckily.

"So one day, I got bloody sick of it. I was a Runner, after all. I wrote Minho and Alby a note, went out in the maze as usual, but this time hoping I never came back." He closed his eyes for a few seconds. "But I did come back. Alby saw me, there, attached to the ivy and hanging like a bloody spider. My leg got stuck, like yours. I did the same thing as you and... and that's why I didn't visit. It hurt."

Something blocked my throat. My eyes burned and I felt... weird. Bad.

"And the memories came back. I couldn't handle watching you, my best friend, maybe the one I love the most at this point, like that. The guilt came back, too. I thought as someone who... experienced it, I should've known the symptoms. I should've seen something about you. Should've stopped the Builders and not let you defend me while I'm the Second-in-command and was supposed to punish them instead of-." He inhaled sharply, closing his eyes again, and slowing down his fast pace of talking. "Sorry."

Silent tears leaked from my eyelashes. I hadn't even noticed them until now. My hand reached out for Newt's. He took mine, too. Both of us were sorry for each other and for both our ways of acting.

I lay my head on his shoulder, he wrapped an arm around me. No one had to say anything else. We understood each other easily. Knew when we needed silence, and how we felt.

"But at least we can be limp buddies." He added after a few minutes. I laughed through my tears, quietly, but hearable.

"At least we can." I breathed.

A few more minutes later, Newt talked again. "As you might've heard, I've been planning something. To distract both of us."

"What is it?"
Curiosity came fast.

"Since you sadly can't be a Runner now, even when you wanted to before, and building doesn't really seem like the perfect job. And people will hurt themselves on purpose to get bloody touched by you in the Med Hut, you'll throw up in the Blood House, and you'll have to bend as a Track-Hoe... you'll get another job."

I nodded, accepting it already. "Slopper? Cook?"

"No, you oblivious, Shank." He blurted out. I smiled. "A more important job, so you can prove yourself. And so you can be by my side."

"Don't be shy, spit it out." I bugged.

"Mhm." He hummed. "Please don't kill me out of anger or jump off the bloody tower in happiness, got that?"

"Got it."

"Alright. Third-in-command."

"OH M-."

"Wait." He interrupted. "Let me finish."

"That's what she s-."

"And turn off your dirty mind."

"It's turning warmer in the Glade, aka summer. So the dirty mind is growing."

"Summer has literally nothing to do with- anyway. Let me finish." Newt removed his arm from my shoulder. "As a Third-in-command, you'll have to do basically everything we do. You can join any job during the day, if you're good at it, at least. You can warn people for breaking rules and throw out punishments. We both trust you with it, so don't overuse the punishments."

"Got it."

"Since Alby and I both hate taking Greenie's on the Tour, we thought you could do it. You're kind, funny, and will make a nice first expression."

"You're kind too."

"But I've been showing people around the past two years. It's not fun anymore."

"Fine, then."

"Don't know what else I can explain right now. Just let me know if you need to know something." He smiled warmly.

"Okay." I nodded.

His smile turned lighter and our eyes met. "Oh, and Val. Please don't think I don't love you because I-."

"I didn't think that." I denied, shaking my head fast. "I d-."

"Yes, you bloody did. I know every shuck thing about you, of course you thought that." He let out a chuckle.

I crossed my arms. "You don't know everything about me. Bet you don't know my biggest fear."

"That people you love won't love you back, easy."

I bit my lip, feeling exposed. "Okay, then. But I bet you don't know-."

"When you're on your period, you cry every time when someone kills an animal, no matter what kind. You get sad fast, and have stupid cramps."

"You barely know what a period is." I snorted.

"It's once a month, and you get bloody around your baby-push-area." He explained blankly. "I know it."

"Uh. Okay." I scratched my arm.

"Your hobby is writing poems about your feelings. You only read them to people you like or feel comfortable with. So you read them too me and no one else, for now."

"I read one to Gally today." I blurted out.

"What?!" His eyes widened dramatically. "Gally? The arrogant, shuck-faced, piece of-."

"Yes, that Gally."

"Which one did you read?"

"I am a woman."

He raised his eyebrows in satisfaction, nodding. "That's probably my favorite."

"It's not the best."

"I am a feminist, of course it is the best." He gave me a push. "No offense, but the other ones are depressing."

"So what?"

"I remember this one. My thoughts were destroying—."

"Shut. Up."

"—me. I tried not to think—."

"Shut your damn mouth, Newt."

"—but the silence was a killer too."
He had a playful smile on his lips. "Quite depressing."

"It's not funny. It's my hobby and it's relieving."

"But why would you read it to Gally? You got comfortable with Gally! That's not healthy."

"He's actually really kind. And has humor."

"That's what they all say." Newt gave me a glance. "So I will warn you. He will break your heart in all the ways possible."

"He's a friend."

"That's what they all say, too. I bet that in two months, maybe even less, you're in love with Gally."

"I won't be in love with Gally." I averted my eyes from him. "Changing the subject. I bet you don't know I had a pet."

"A pet?"

"Yep. Ben and I adopted Josephine The Chicken."

"A chicken?"

The sound of a chicken interrupted. I glanced over the edge of the tower, and there she was. "Look. Josephine recognized her name. I'll go bring her up so you can pet her."

"I don't feel the need to- okay, then just don't listen to me." He muttered when I already went to get Josy. "Its is looking at me like I'm an alien."

"She. It's a she." I corrected. "I thought you were a feminist, Newt."

"Not for chickens. Can she fly, though?"

I shrugged. "I don't know."

"Let's try. Throw her."

"No, you shank. We won't throw my baby down the tower. Violence is always the answer for you guys, jeez."

"Oh, so she's your baby?" His eyes started to twinkle and his mouth slightly opened. "So you can practice taking care of one once you get them with Grumpy."

"I will never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever get babies with Gally. Never." I frowned in disgust. "Ew."

"Oh, my bad. Of course you won't. They'll look like ginger rats with weird eyebrows."

"Excuse me?"

"That insult is meant for Gally, not you. Except the ginger part." He confirmed.

I sighed, rolling my eyes. "Why do people always have a problem with redheads?"

"You know, you should write another poem. Let it go like this,
I'm in love with the shape of you—."

"If you don't stop singing that right now, I'll push you of the shuck tower."

"You push and pull like a—."

"Newt!"

"Alright. Alright. I'll stop."