↻ AUTHOR ࿐྄ྀ  ItsBangtanBeaches
↻ REVIEWER ࿐྄ྀ  PLUM_PUDDING_STORIES

First Light :: 14/20

» Title :: 5/5

It is important to adapt to a title that meets the theme and genre of your book. It represents the whole book. The title you used is attractive and filled with curiosity. This particular title has got the power to attract and pull in more reads and perfectly matches the theme of your book. It's unique and catchy as well. An explanation of the title is included in the blurb which keeps the readers informed about the title.

» Cover :: 6/10

Cover is the visual representation of a book. The cover needs to suit the theme of your book to create a first good impression. And also it needs to connect well with your book. The colour theme is appealing, matching and quite impressive. However, there are few changes that I suggest to create a clear and an attractive picture.

Change the position of the title, include the female lead as she plays a major role in the book as you clearly state that 'this story is based on the life of Kim Loire' so I suggest to pay attention to that. The font style needs to be replaced as well. The Chinese lettering you used may not be understood by some readers so focus on that and I suggest you pay attention to the above mentioned errors.

» Blurb :: 3/5

The blurb is a summarized version or a short paragraph that gives casual hints of your written piece of work. It needs to be precise and up to the point. The relevant points that should be considered when writing a blurb are organisation, paragraphing, the length, correct punctuation and
vocabulary.

However, it would be better if you could add in more descriptives to produce a skillful and an eloquent blurb. Create a blurb that could grab in more attention because that's the decision making point of the book. Lengthen your blurb to create the readers engaged.

Dawn :: 7/10

Being able to express your thoughts fluently and precisely is an important skill when it comes to writing a book. It is important to keep your mind on which kind of audience you are presenting to your work and you need to make it understandable. Giving an explanation of the title is a good thought as it clears all doubts. The tone and the writing style you used is perfect, very eloquent and you are rich in the quality of your writing. Include the below changes to add in more value for a better dawn.

Change the position of your disclaimer as your first chapter and begin the rest. You've included the blurb as your first chapter but the readers are already aware of that so l would suggest you change that. Some vocabulary words you used went astray at some points so re-read your work before you publish it. (Use proper words in the proper places)

Plot and Idea :: 14/20

I get the general idea and plot which is kind of common among all fanfictions. But things are unveiled, there is something that unravels in each chapter, something hidden shows up. I loved this popping up of secrets as it keeps the reader engaged. It was a nice good read (to the part I read).

However the general idea you presented is just too simple and really common, it's very vital to be creative when coming up with a good plot.

The plot needs to be developed more, it's engaging but you've got to be more constructive about the plot so that way you can gain more attention and make it more impressive. The plot means the
story you try to tell so you need to plan it well from the beginning. Make a planner and write down the key events then start to develop and construct the rest with twists and turns.

Characters and Emotions :: 12/15

The most important carriers of a story. It is important that you give some brief and pertinent information about your characters so that the readers can form an idea in their minds and can develop an understanding of how those characters are likely to act in the course of your story. It is also important that they behave consistently with the characteristic personality you have created for them.

Using an appropriate tone is an effective way to understand the personalities of the characters. Each and every character is brought in a very realistic way with all emotions and personalities. There was no fault, it's flawless and the vocabulary you used established the quality and richness of your characters.

However, don't stick onto expressing a character or their emotions for too long, that might disrupt the flow of your book. Therefore I would suggest you maintain balance in your descriptives.

Writing style :: 12/15

This I consider the highlight of a book. Writing style ensures the richness and true quality of a book. It's dependable on the tone and register you use. Paragraphing, vocabulary and grammar are also important factors to ensure ways of structuring and organising your piece of writing.

Using a range of appropriate vocabulary and registering it appropriately in a way to enjoy it is difficult, but you have achieved it successfully, your descriptions are so enchanting and mesmerising. It's so much appealing as every single thing is described perfectly with good use of eloquent words.

But be careful of description. Describing something for too long can sometimes make the readers bored, they may find it hard to enjoy or understand. Be aware of the limit that you describe with the POV you use which includes the tone as well.

Grammar :: 17/20

The range and variety of sentence structures you used are great. No capitalisation or punctuation errors which produced a disturbance free read.

But sometimes with the POV you used and the vocabulary words you used didn't match well together. And there were some noticeable typos which changed the meaning of the sentence. Try re-checking before publishing and use proper words at proper places.

Other than that grammar is accurate
I suggest for you to focus on the above mentioned errors and work on it. You're a talented writer so keep up your work.

TOTAL :: 76/100

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Yours Truly,
SeeSaw Fam.