「look into my eyes
and tell me what you see
the wickedness in you
is the wickedness in me」

♫ hollywood undead; usual suspect

✩ h o n g j o o n g ✩

The world had become a blur - a haze where there was no beginning and no end, only darkness.

There was no light, even when the sun was shining outside the windows. No sound, no feelings - a life without a purpose.

Until Seonghwa handed him one.

And it came just when Hongjoong was falling apart completely, when the very last bit of his sanity had vanished. He had received the news that same day that Yeosang was going to marry Seonghwa. Everything was not only turned upside down, it was violently shaken together, and spread across the ground in a heart-wrecking mess.

If Yeosang was happy with him, with Seonghwa, maybe the older's wasn't as Hongjoong had feared him to be - maybe Hongjoong himself was the one in the wrong...

Nothing made sense anymore, nothing at all. Hongjoong had felt how his soul was ripped right out of his body, and he was left behind with nothing but pain. He had been pushed into the furthest corner of the living hell that kept him away from everything he used to know - broken into pieces, only to be put together again, in the exact way the dark haired devil wanted him to be.

"Stop being scared," Seonghwa had told him, several times, and his words had slowly filled up the emptiness that was left within Hongjoong's hollow body. "You have nothing to fear, as long as you are the one in control."

The only problem was that Hongjoong was as far away from being in control as he possibly could be, but he was too blinded to see how the older's poison was spreading in his mind.

"People were born with different purposes." A cold hand was stroking Hongjoong's cheek, as Seonghwa spoke, one day where the older had paid a visit to Hongjoong's room. "Some with great potential, and others as a tool to unlock that potential. A key, you could say. They need to be used, they want to, even if they don't show it."

Blue eyes had been watching from the corner, and as Seonghwa finished his last sentence the pretty blonde got up from his seat and stepped closer, right on cue. He then got down on his knees and looked up at Seonghwa, as an obedient little pet.

The blonde locks were brushed aside, and a gentle stroke passed his cheek only to get changed out with a hard slap. But Joshua didn't say a word, he didn't whine or cry, he simply kept looking up - eyes big and sparkling.

"People like Joshua, they understand their purpose," Seonghwa said in a low voice, with his fingers caressing the red mark he had left on the pale skin. His dark eyes then moved to look at Hongjoong who was caught inside his own frozen body. "You know what to do."

Seonghwa left the room, and the sound of the door closing behind him was like someone pressing the 'on' button in Hongjoong's mind. He did know what to do - by then he had seen the older do it so many times already that he had lost count.

Once upon a time it had scared him, but that time seemed like so long ago now...

The person he used to be was no longer alive - that scared, pathetic excuse for a human being had been banished from his own body and exiled to a prison made out of poisonous words and numbing drugs.

Hongjoong didn't register many things any longer, his hands simply followed the commands that had been put into his head, and he didn't even notice what was happening before both of them were naked and their bodies ramming together.

His hand fell to rest on the table he was fucking the blonde on top of, pulse beating hard from the leather belt he had wrapped tightly around his palm.

Looking down at the skin under him, his eyes got lost in the maze of red and blue lines he had drawn across it - small droplets of blood shining in the lights like stars of ruby.

"You like this, don't you?" his voice growled, but his mind was blank. He grabbed the loose end of the belt with his other hand, and slung it around Joshua's neck, pulling his head backwards. Leaning down over him, Hongjoong let his lips come close to the blonde's ear. "You dirty whore."

And Joshua liked it, a bit too much. After both of them had reached their climax, he grabbed Hongjoong's hand and licked his own blood off the fingertips. With a smirk he wrapped his arms around Hoongjong's neck and with their lips close to each other he whispered: "I'll tell him you're ready now. And just in time..."

✩

"Hongjoong. It's time."

Knife's edge across the metal surface, disgustingly uncomfortable to listen to, and it left a suffocating silence behind.

Hongjoong glared into the pair of brown eyes he never had thought he'd see again. There surely would have been a time where fear had shown itself on that familiar face, but it had been a while since and all that was left was despise.

"You..." Wooyoung snarled as Hongjoong looked down at him under the red lights. Then, a raspy snort left his chapped lips. "Of course it's you..."

"What do you mean?" Hongjoong coldly asked, slowly squatting down to sit directly face to face with the guy he used to envy. He studied him closely, every little bruise and cut left on his body - and the face that had been the one to make Yeosang smile so brightly, back then...

"Your desperate attempts to get with Yeosang never fail to amaze me," the blonde scoffed, but his voice turned into a struggling cough that made his body shake up the chains holding him up.

When he gained control over himself again, he looked back at Hongjoong, with hatred burning in his eyes. But Hongjoong didn't feel affected by it - he was the one holding the knife after all. He pushed his lower lip out, raised a brow slowly while running his fingertips over the smooth surface of the blade.

"Oh! You thought I didn't know?" Wooyoung then taunted him, clearly trying to get an reaction out. "Who's the real starry-eyed idiot here then? Like I didn't notice the pathetic looks you were sending my boyfriend! You couldn't break up us, so you had to get help from that psycho?!"

"I'm not your boyfriend anymore though." The sudden sound of Yeosang's voice made both Hongjoong and Wooyoung turn their heads, and the blonde's eyes widened up as he hadn't noticed the presence of his former lover.

The chains were clanking louder, as Wooyoung's voice raised as well. In a growl through his gritted teeth he then spoke again. "Yeosang... You fucking bitch!"

Yeosang's eyes narrowed down, but he didn't say anything. Instead, he simply stepped closer to Seonghwa and link their arms together. Leaning against the older, he glared at Wooyoung with his free hand stroking down the Seonghwa's chest.

Even under the red lights, the diamond on his finger shone brightly. When it hit Hongjoong's eyes it was like a brief moment of clarity - a moment where he finally saw what was happening all around him. Within him.

But when it passed, Hongjoong clenched harder around the handle of the knife, and he was once again blinded by the blinkers Seonghwa had created around him. He hated Wooyoung, he knew that now - what he used to believe was simple jealousy was in fact so much more.

"Really? After everything I did for you!" Wooyoung's hoarse voice then broke the silence. When Yeosang only looked at him full of disgust, the blonde huffed loudly, with an equally disgusted look in his eyes. "You fucking needed me, Yeosang!"

"Maybe I did," Yeosang calmly replied. "But I don't anymore. You were a simply a way to waste time. And I've had enough of waste."

His words could easily have been mistaken for Seonghwa speaking, but it wasn't - and Hongjoong looked at the beatuiful boy that used to make his heart skip a beat. Yeosang had his hand securely entwined with Seonghwa's, and the grey eyes showed no emotions any longer.

It was true though, Wooyoung was nothing but a waste - a waste of time, of life.

A simple nod from Seonghwa and the world was set on fire.

Hongjoong's eyes were blinded and his hearing blocked. He didn't even hear the agonizing cry, nor did he see anything at all before he was covered in blood. Blood splattered onto his own hands, his shirt and his face. The cries faded out, as the life in front of him did as well.

"Very good," Seonghwa's deep voice made its way through Hongjoong's ears, and a hand was placed on his left shoulder as he looked down at his bloody hands, and the knife lying on the floor. "Now, go take a shower and dress nicely. You will join us for dinner later."

When Hongjoong turned around, blood dripping from his hands, he saw how Seonghwa looked at him like the proudest parent in the world - whereas Yeosang on the other hand, simply sent him a cold glare before turning towards the door.

Something strange was suddenly happening inside Hongjoong. His hands started trembling, and the cold blood on his skin felt like fire. He stared with wide eyes at what he had done, and his stomach was turning from the disgust of his own action.

But then, a calming hand once again placed itself on his shoulder.

"Remember," Seonghwa said, close to his ear. "People have different purposes, but a rare few are nothing but a waste. They need to die, they want to die. Don't feel bad about granting their wish."

The older then led both Hongjoong and Yeosang out of the room, but neither of them spoke while walking through the long corridor. Their steps echoed around them, and when they reached the staircase and Seonghwa opened the door to the world above - the lights fell around him, and as he turned around to help Yeosang up the last steps, it perfectly represented the way he thought of himself.

Seonghwa didn't see himself as the Devil - he saw himself as God.

✩

A/N: I question my own sanity when writing this story, I really do...