"Another baby?" I groan. 

Sultan Süleyman scoffs at me then smiles. "Another beautiful baby of ours, it's amazing!"

"Can't I have a break?" I pout. He shakes his head.

"Oh Zevki."

Valide, who was watching us from the corner, comes to me.

"How are you feeling Zevki?" She asks. I try to pull myself up a little bit to show respect to her.

"I am feeling very well with you here, my Sultana!" I smile. 

"Very good. Süleyman, I think you should attend to state matters, I can stay and talk with Zevki."

Süleyman nods. "Yes, I will go do that."

He departs after giving me a kiss and I smile as he goes away. Süleyman is a truly unique man. Even though I did come to this place through a cruel, barbarous method, through a Harem in fact, I was beginning to feel a sense of home here. Beside my two children, and another one coming, and Süleyman, and all these loving people around me...

"Zevki, you have to make sure you take extra good care of yourself."

"I am aware my Valide, and that will be even better once I know Hürrem will be gone after her disgusting actions."

Valide is mute. She doesn't respond but simply stares back at me in a manner that is quite concerning.

"Zevki, you have to take good care of yourself, especially now that Hürrem is also pregnant."

My mouth falls open and tears start forming in my eyes. Hürrem is pregnant? Does that mean she was recently with Süleyman against my knowledge?

Valide takes my shoulder and rubs it. "Süleyman didn't spend time with her recently- she apparently has concealed it for months."

"But that makes it even sooner that she may well have another son!"

"We can only pray."

She gets up from beside me and whispers, "Just remember, watch yourself and your children. I have your back, but you can't lose yourself either."

I nod, but tears are dripping down already as she leaves. 

"Nurse?" I squeak out to a woman preparing some sort of potion beside me. 

She looks over. "How are you doing Sultana?"

"I'd like it if my two children are brought to me, please. Murad and Raziye."

"I'll take your order down to the servants." She bows and leaves.

It is at this moment I begin contemplating my life. I haven't spoken Spanish in months, and it felt... Like a relief. I have grasped Ottoman Turkish and Arabic quite quickly and proficiently by now, better than even Hürrem with her thick slavic accent.

But... There is still a sort of emptiness in my heart. I miss my sister, my mother, my-mi Padre, Todos mis increíbles amigos y familiares, las hermosas vistas desde la habitación de mi castillo, la calidez y el verdor de España nunca serán reemplazados en mi corazón por esta tierra.

All my amazing friends and family, the lovely views from my castle room, the warmth and greenness of Spain shall never be replaced in my heart with this land. But maybe, I could have two homes in my heart, that of the past, and that of my future: Süleyman, Murad, Raziye, and hopefully many more children.

Lo único que quiero es ser feliz algún día.

The only thing I want is to be happy someday.

I thought of the old proverb "Más vale risa en casa que oro en arca", laughter at home is worth more than gold in the chest, and happiness is more valuable than wealth. 

The doors open once more into my room and two nursing maids bring in both of my babies, little Murad and Raziye.

"They are a lot bigger now than when they came out!" I exclaim proudly as I take Murad into my left arm. 

I stroked his nice brown hair that had been growing in quickly. His bright eyes shone as he looked at me, and I smiled contently. 

"You will be our future, my Murad." I whisper into his ear. "We will beat Hürrem together. As a family."