"AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

Crash!!!

Okay. I'm pretty sure that Zaira falling into the Underground and landing on her face isn't a good enough beginning. However, I'm the author. I do what I want! That's the reason I've created this! Flowey is going to give Zaira a crash course on what the world is! Then, she has to prove to him that she can live by those rules! Oh, why doesn't Zaira hear me? She's fallen on her face from a mile up!!!! OF COURSE, SHE'S HAVING A GREAT TIME!!!!! Well, the Underground is going to pay... You'll see.

"Oh my gosh... My head hurts...," whimpered Zaira as she looked up and looked around. The world was dark. For once, her powers proved to be useless in this place. She stood up from where she was and stumbled her way into a clearing a flower looked up at her and cocked its head.

"Um... Are you a human...?" it asked.

"Great! The fall made me hallucinate a talking flower! Go away talking flower! I'm in the middle of suffering!" Zaira snapped.

"Uh... I'm real, if you don't mind, you species confused butterfly!" Flowey snapped.

Zaira stopped. "Whoa whoa whoa. What did you just call me? I'm not a butterfly. I'm a frog! Wait... no... Man, that fall has left me confused! I'm a... Drayan! That's right! I'm a Drayan."

Flowey looked even more confused than ever and shook his head. "W-Well... I'm Flowey... You're in the Underground... It's a nice place, I guess... However, there's something you need to know..."

"Yeah? What's that?"

"THIS IS A COMEDY!!" Flowey yelled wearing his monster face.

"A WHAT?!"

"I know! It's horrible! I hate our writer!" Flowey groaned.

Wait... Is he insulting me?

"Quit insulting the writer! She can do anything to us! She could turn you into a plate of road-kill if she wanted!" Zaira yelled.

"She could? Huh. I didn't notice. Well, in this world it's kill or be killed! Bye! Butterfly...," Flowey said with a smirk as he ran away.

Zaira stood more confused than ever at what just happened. She saw a goat lady come towards her and she smacked herself in the face. The goat lady looked surprised and looked like she was without words. Silence ruled the room. Zaira thought the goat lady was another hallucination.

"Stand aside goat! I'm going to get myself out of here if it kills me!" she yelled as she tried to walk through the "hallucination" and failed. She then huffed and fluttered around.

"Uh... child?" she asked.

"Nevermind me. I'm just moving on through."

Finally, after flying for what seemed like forever, she came to a house that was nice and cozy. She found a bed and fell asleep. However, her dreams took a weird turn. She dreamt that she was evil and about a couple of skeleton dudes and a fish lady. She killed everyone. How nice! What a wonderful dream she's having! When she finally awoke, she wasn't in bed!

"H-Huh?" she asked as she looked around at the long orange corridor. The light flickered in through the windows. Zaira had no idea what to say.

"Heya. You've been busy, haven't ya?" Sans asked.

"Yeah! Busy sleeping! KIDNAPPER!!" Zaira replied.

"Uhhhhh..."

Zaira huffed. "No wonder I had such weird dreams about you last night! I was kidnapped by you! And- Why am I holding a knife? Ooooooooh! It's so shiny!" starts swinging it around randomly.

"Uh... Kid!"

Zaira accidentally threw it at him and she didn't miss somehow! She gasped in horror. "Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry Mr. Kidnapper! Wait! One sec!

Reload.

"Heya. You've been-"

"Ha! I brought you back! Don't worry! This time, I'll put down the knife!" Zaira said as she threw the knife onto the ground.

"Okay, kid. You're starting to freak me out... You destroy everything and everyone I love and then confront me with THIS?!" Sans demanded.

Zaira tilted her head. "I killed them all? Wait! Just like my dream! You must be a serious mind reader to know that!"

"NO! You killed everyone!" Sans suddenly attacks. Zaira dodges without even knowing it.

"Well, I have been known for sleepwalking... But sleep killing? Nah. Never."

Gaster Blaster shoots and misses.

Zaira suddenly gasps in delight. "Awwwww!! How cute!!"

"Huh?"

"Your dog!" Zaira exclaimed as she pointed to the Gaster Blaster.

The Gaster Blaster looked around awkwardly and then stared at Sans unsure of what to do. Sans looked more confused than ever. "That's not a dog."

"Must be a mixed breed. It doesn't look like a dog, but I know it is!" Zaira said as she petted the Gaster Blaster. It began to purr loudly. Then, it accidentally shot a beam straight at Sans.

"Not again!" Zaira shouted.

Reload.

"Heya. You've-"

"That makes twice now! Amazing, right? I'm a life saver!" Zaira shouted as she pointed her knife to the sky.

"Wha-? You know, I'm not even going to ask... It's a beautiful day outside... Birds are singing... Flowers are blooming... On days like these, kids like you-"

"I'm late! Sorry, but I've got a dental appointment in ten minutes. Move out of the way," Zaira commanded as she stormed through to the next room. Sans blocked the way with a barrier of bones.

"You're not going anywhere."

Zaira turned slowly and wrapped her fingers around her knife. She grinned fiendishly. Sans instantly regretted blocking her path.

"The fact that this skeleton is making you late to your dental appointment... It fills you with DETERMINATION."

Zaira swung her knife at Sans, and then one hit- KO'd him. She realized what she had done and reloaded.

Reload.

"You have a cruel sense of humor...," Sans said.

"Yeah..."

"Well, you'd better not take a single step over that line or you'll get a really bad time, lady!" Sans snapped.

Zaira looked at the line he pointed to and sat down just before it. She didn't cross it. Sans stared at Zaira awkwardly. Zaira began to cook some Instant Noodles.

"What are you doing...?"

"Making noodles."

...Five more minutes until the noodles are finished...

...Four more minutes until the noodles are finished...

...Two more moinutes! (Yes, I misspelled it on purpose).

The noodles are finished.

"Well, uh, why aren't you disobeying my command of staying on that side of the line?"

"I learned to respect my elders!" Zaira said intending for that to be an insult.

Sans flinched. "What did you just call me?"

"Yeah. I do have a cruel sense of humor."

"Did you just-"

"Uh-huh!"

Megalovania intensifies!!!!!!!!!! :D

Reload.

"I hate you...," Sans stated bluntly.

"Well, you did start accusing me of murder, blocked me from my dental appointment, wouldn't let me pet your dog, read my mind, and tried to obliterate me countless times. I guess I understand why you'd hate me," Zaira explained.

"Whatever! Are you a hacker or something?!"

"Nope. Just a gal who can make you talk!" Zaira chirped happily.

"Well-"

Crash!

"Isn't it awesome! I found this basketball in the corner and I thought it would be appropriate! Because you JUST GOT DUNKED ON!!!!!!" Zaira said before bursting into tears from laughter.

...

"Uh... Sans?"

Reload.

"Are you done with me yet?! Can't you be satisfied! You've killed me four times without even breaking a sweat! Just stop reloading already and finish the game!" Sans snapped.

"But I don't want to!"

"Why not?!"

"You're cute little dogs will miss me!" Zaira replied pointing to the Gaster Blaster that was trying to do an armless hug.

"Why me...?"

Battle Mode Start!

"Beautiful day, birds, flowers, blah, blah, blah. Attack," Sans said as he pointed to Zaira. Nothing happened. The Gaster Blasters didn't listen to him! They contained all of his power! Sans was powerless.

Battle Mode... Stop?

"That was a failed attempt!" Zaira commented as she petted the purring Gaster Blasters.

"Uuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..."

"Well, I've got to get to my dental appointment now, but if you want..."

Reload.

"Stop it!!!" Sans screamed.

"SNICKERS!!" Zaira yelled holding up a snickers bar instead of a knife. "Eat this!!!" she yelled as she threw it at him. It smacked him in the face.

"OW!"

-99999999999999HP!!

"Wow! That Snickers is dynamite!"

Reload!

"Sans, I'm bored. Can I throw you out the window?" Zaira asked with a yawn.

"No. Not after everything you've done!"

"You mean you won't let me have the pleasure of throwing you out the window and watch the glass smash into a million pieces before I reload dramatically and do it again?!" Zaira demanded.

In the end...

"AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!"

CRASH!!

"Yay! I threw you through a window! I feel so happy now!" Zaira exclaimed as she hopped with a pineapple for some reason.

"Great... I'm sooooooo happy for you... Now reload already...," Sans mumbled from the rubble.

"No... I don't think so... Like you said, I have to finish the game! Bye! C'mon Gaster Blasters!" Zaira chirped as she fluttered away with fifteen purring Gaster Blasters zooming after her.

"I HATE YOU!!!!!!"

After running around and running into Chara and destroying her on accident without a care in the world, Zaira flew away. However, she hated that there was sad and depressing music, so she reset the entire game and Sans secretly knew about this horrible run for the rest of his life, but because she was just so hard not to be amused at, he kinda forgave her but always found pleasure in making her look bad and ruining her reputation. Therefore, they fought all the time like cats and dogs. So, everybody lived happily ever.

What? Not satisfied yet? Seriously? You guys are asking for a lot.

Suddenly, PINEAPPLES!!!!

"What have you done to the Underground?! You turned everything into pineapples!!" Zaira screamed.

Wanna know why? Because Flowey insulted me.

"That was a long time ago! Can't you just forgive and forget?!"

Well, that's not the case with you and Sans, is it?

"..."

Right! I'll just keep everything a pineapple!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Satisfied now?