Guys I worked so hard on this chapter, please let me know what you thought/think about it? I felt so bad and it honestly triggered me, but it was worth it. It's the last chapter of this book. Requests are still open though. I appreciate it if you'd comment for me and let me know what you think.
-----------------------------------------------------

Point of view Matthew

"It's okay" He whispered and nodded slightly, sounding what seems to be like peaceful; an emotion I have never seen on his face.

It was such a soft whisper as if he was afraid to break something that was going on between the two of us.

I shook my head furiously, panicking and denying whatever the hell was happening right now. My eyes breaking eye contact, not longer being able of seeing the sight of him in that stupid bed as I sat in this stupid chair and not being able to do a fucking thing about this. My mind was racing with questions, assumptions and memories.

I remember how we first met.
I remember our first text.
I remember our first kiss.
I remember our first fight.
I remember our first time.
I remember everything.

Every single detail seemed to flash back into my mind, almost looking so real. It was like everything was flashing by when I was looking at him; he made me remember it all over again. Everything was so unproblematic back then. Everything finally seemed to be okay for once and now all the good things were slow and painfully crumbling down over the past few weeks.

How he told me that he was sick and having the Von Willebrand illness killed me the most of all. He said that it didn't seem to be important back then to tell me in the first place since it wasn't that bad anymore, at least that's what he claimed.

I got a little mad at him partly, because of being bipolar. I couldn't stand the fact of him not telling me this, I as his boyfriend should have known. It made me feel like I wasn't important enough to know such a thing about him even though he was okay back then. Yet it was just my mind tricking me again.

After he told me everything and we started talking about the whole situation, I went with him to all of his appointments so I would be up to date. Somehow his disease seemed to get worse and worse with the days passing by and there wasn't a lot we could do about it either.

He started to bleed almost every day and when he didn't, he would have a lot of bruises. Sometimes it was so much that he wasn't able to walk or do anything.

It came to that point that a couple of weeks ago the doctor told us that it would only be a matter of time.

And now we were here..

And hell I certainly wasn't ready for that. How was I supposed to live without this kid? I grew attached to him and he was my first boyfriend after all.

No, he is my first and last boyfriend.

I've been feeling so hopeless and mostly powerless in this situation. I couldn't change anything for him. I couldn't do anything and that was what hurt me the most; to see him in pain and going through something like this all on his own.

I was drowning into a pool filled with sadness, dragging me only further and further into this mess. My skies slowly turned pitch black, the stars were starting to fade away and I couldn't see any colors anymore. He brights up my whole universe, he was my light and made everything shine. It won't take long before he leaves, making everything all dark and black again. Nobody would be there anymore to bright some light into my life.

That's how it felt, putting it lightly.

How is it possible that it's going to be all taken away from me in a matter of minutes? What did I do to deserve all of that? What did Rain ever do to deserve all of that? The truth is that he didn't even deserve to die at such a young age.

It should have been me, not him. I should be the one laying in that bed, suffering from all the pain and sadness.

"Hey, hey" I heard his soft gentle voice from a distance as he cups my face in his hands, forcing me to look into the sad blue eyes.

"R-Rain-" My throat clenched and tears started to form into my eyes, but I had to stay strong not just for myself, but for him.

I shouldn't cry. I was not allowed to cry. I didn't deserve to cry. He needed me and I would be there for him till the very end like I promised him I would be.

I saw his bright blue orbs looking into my dull grey ones as he took my hand, letting it rest on top of his -now still- steady heartbeat.

"Promise me one thing okay?" He said with a surprisingly calm voice which made me wonder how he could act so calm around all of this.

I remained silent, waiting for him to speak even though I knew I would say yes to him. Whatever it would be, I would do anything for him and he knew that by now. Rain is my one and only soulmate after all.

"Move on, okay? I'm not saying that you immediately have to date someone else or throw a party or anything. I know it's hard to lose someone and you can have your time to grief, but please, please promise me that you're continuing with your life and will battle your disorder. Contact my best friend Ryan okay? Please contact him and try for me. I- I wouldn't be able to live with myself if you would kill your self with all of this, p-please Matthew" I heard his breath hitch in his throat, which made me look at him in concern and immediately intertwined our fingers with each other.

"I- I p-promi-se" I gave in, instantly hating myself for approving.

I basically just gave him a 'yes' to die, to leave the world.

His eyes were staring at me for the longest time I've ever seen, almost as if he was taking every inch of me. Afraid of forgetting me and I seemed to do the same with him. I didn't want to forget about his eyes, hair, face and just all of his inner and facial features.

No scratch that, I couldn't forget about him.

This can't end like this. There is a happy ending for everyone right? Then why didn't it feel like that? It was only then that I started to flip and needed him to stay with me.

"T-There has to be another way Rain! C-Can we not go to the doctor o-or give you another treatment or medication?! Or- or- or-"

"Matthew" His softening voice interrupted me, which calmed me down instantly and he knew that all too well.

"I-it hurts me Matt.. I'm not able to fight anymore. It's time, it's been too long. It's okay Matt, I promise" He smiled in a way that I couldn't place.

"Y-you called m-me-" I said, not being able to make full sentences anymore, knowing he had to be serious if he called me like that.

But I wasn't ready for this. I wasn't ready to let him go, to hand him away to god. I wasn't ready to make him leave for a probably better place than this reality. It may have seem selfish, but I hadn't even married him yet or started a family with him.

"Here" He whispered, removing the ring from his finger and placing it onto my hand.

"Give it to someone special okay? Love him like you love me" He sniffed and genuinely smiled at me, silently crying.

"P-please Rain" I begged him, wanting him to magically get better.

Why him?

The one person who didn't leave me for who I was had to leave me for another reason. A reason that I couldn't change.

Death.

"It's okay, it's okay, hey baby look at me" I heard his voice shaking slightly while he was cupping both of my cheeks and nodded at me again. He took a deep breath and couched as he continued.

"I'm in the arms of my first love, the first person I ever loved. You gave me my first kiss, my first time, my first everything. And you're still here with me till the end. It's okay that you're the only one here right now to say goodbye to me, because that's all I ever need. I won't make it till the rest arrive here anyways. And I know we both had our ups and down, but I wouldn't change that for anything in the world. You were the best boyfriend I could ever wish for and I'm so so sorry that I couldn't marry you, that I can't start a family with you and do whatever we wanted to do. I'm sorry that I put you into this situation, but please my baby boy don't give up. There will walk some boy into your life again that you will probably hate at first, but he will bring love into your life again while I watch the both of you from up there, I promise. You've been so strong for me these past couple of months and I can't thank you enough for that. Thank you for everything, for doing the things with me that I wanted to do before I would die. Thank you so much for all the memories and the moments of us. I love you Matthew Gray" He said, tears spilling out of his eyes, yet he stayed so calm.

"Tell my parents that I love them, tell that to Ryan and the rest of my friends too okay?" He asked me and I nodded immediately, not in state to talk anymore without crying after all the things he just said to me.

My eyes were burning, indicating that they wanted to spill out the tears. But I still hold them back, trying to get rid of the lump in my throat as it only seem to tighten and suffocate me. I had to stay strong for him and I wouldn't give up on that.

"Kiss me" He said, cupping one of my cheeks while caressing it and without even questioning it, I did what he asked me to do.

I looked at him in the eyes, his beautiful ocean eyes that always had this thing on me. They could easily hypnotize and manipulate me whenever they wanted to.

I think people were right when they said that when someone is on the edge of dying that you could see their eyes in a different and lighter way, because his eyes were shining so bright almost seemingly blinding me with it. His ocean eyes were basically turning into a clear blue sky.

Our lips collided with each other, this one being a rare kiss that we never shared before with each other. This one was soft, slow yet passionate and filled with so much kindness. I felt this aura around us that had comfort, sweetness and most important, love in it.

His lips started with moving against mine and that was what particularly made me throw myself at him, not wanting to let go of him anytime soon. I needed this kiss to last as long as possible, longer than all the other kisses that we ever shared.

I let my hand rest on his hip as the other one softly went through his soft and silky curls. His hand was still on my cheek and the other was planted onto my neck, instantly pulling me as close to him as possible. His hand left my neck to hold one of my hands and I felt his lips form into a smile against mine when our bodies seem to form into one as if we were perfectly made for each other like two puzzle pieces that fit into one another.

Then I suddenly felt a warm and wet liquid against my cheek, which made me pull away realizing that the blood rapidly poured out of his nose.

Giving me a sign that it was really time to let go.

I looked at him while panicking, when I saw that his eyes were still closed, the smile still lingering on his lips and his grip on my hand weakened. My hands started to shake and I couldn't hear anything anymore, but I tried to ignore all that.

"Rain?" I whispered and it was like the hand that rested on my cheek, fell down on the bed in slow motion. I was unexpectedly being pulled back to reality when I suddenly started to hear the long beep from the heart rate machine.

"N-n-no no n-no no no! Rain, baby, please open your eyes for me, b-baby look at me. Hey!" I rambled on, firmly cupping his cheek in my hands and basically screaming at him for him to open his eyes again.

"Rain baby please don't leave me here alone" I said and shook my head as I started to get more paranoid, pounding my fists on his chest with every word that left my mouth so he would start moving and showing me a sign that he was still alive.

Why wasn't there anyone yet?! Where the fuck is everyone, where are his foster parents, his friends or that fucking Ryan dude?!

He didn't move, his chest wasn't moving either and I couldn't hear his breath anymore. I started to yell and scream nonsense, but whatever I did, he just didn't seem to wake up.

His heart stopped.

Before I know it, I heard and saw a lot of doctors rushing in. Someone was instantly pulling me off of him and of course I wouldn't let that happen. I tried to fight against it even though I didn't knew who it was.

"N-no! Fucking let m-me go!" I yelled at the top of my lungs while that person continued to drag me out of the room, my hand slowly left his since the person was pretty strong and in that moment that I let go of his hand; I felt nothing but emptiness.

"Rain! Rain! Come back to me! Rain!" I continued to yell even though I knew it didn't matter anymore; he wouldn't hear me.

"Matt, he's gone okay? He's gone" I heard an unknown voice whisper, which made me turn around in the arms of that person and look at a shorter boy who was almost the same version of Rain which made me frown, am I hallucinating already?

How in the hell was he even that strong? I sighed and gave up, knowing I couldn't go back into that room. God, I actually wanted to slap this guy. But I couldn't let my disorder get in the way of this right now.

Rain was all I could think about, I needed him and I wanted him back.

The shorter boy stared up at me and almost let go of me until I realized something.

I didn't say it back.

I tried to get his arms off of me as he tried to pull me back, which he sadly succeeded in.

"RAIN! LET ME GO YOU SON OF A-! RAIN, I LOVE YOU TOO! I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, not caring that my throat was already sore enough, holding back the tears with every strength that I had.

I didn't expected this to be like this. I thought I would cry out loud, saying goodbye to him with all of his other loved ones and me telling him how much he meant to me.

I didn't think I would feel like this. I thought I would be extremely sad, depressed and furious while feeling left alone and basically drained. But the truth was that I didn't feel anything, there was just this black hole consuming me. I felt nothing but numb. A piece of me died in there with him and it was all taken away from me.

I lost my boy, my love, my one and only happiness that was left.

"I love you.." I whispered with a sore voice and tiredly leaned my back against the unknown boy while closing my eyes in despair.