SINCE I AM A COWARD FOR NOT POSTING SO LONG; HERE THE LONGEST CHAPTER I HAVE EVER WRITTEN Y'ALL.

Rain's point of view

Take a deep breath, in and out Rain.

I think I've never been this nervous in my whole entire life and that had to say a lot since I was always nervous about every simple little thing.

Today was my first date with the one and only Matthew.

Matthew Gray.

How could someone like him be interested in someone like me? I looked at myself in the mirror and all I could see were my dull blue eyes, my greasy hair that was too messy and just my whole face that started to annoying me.

Why me?

Today was also officially the first time that we would see each other in person. We've always had contact through the phone and never really talked at school before. Probably because of our completely different lives.

It was weird, not knowing I've been texting with him all this time. I've seen him sometimes, but it was all just a blur to me. I couldn't even remember how he looked like.

I took one last look in the mirror and didn't even try to fix my hair anymore since it was a hopeless mess. I fixed my long dark blue shirt and looked at my phone.

6:53 P.M.

I had to be there in seven minutes! School was a ten minute ride with my bike. How was I going to make it on time?!

I went downstairs as fast as I could almost tripping over my own feet. I took my jacket and pulled my shoes on before leaving the house.

"Bye mom, bye dad!" I yelled to my foster parents and left so they wouldn't bombard me with too many questions, I'll deal with that later on.

I immediately jumped on my bike. The ride was too fast for life, I'll tell you that.

I finally made it at school like an idiot that was totally out of breath. I looked at my phone for one last time.

6:58 P.M.

Hell yeah, I made it in five minutes. I didn't know why, but I felt like I still had to hurry up for Matthew. I got off my bike and just put it somewhere, since I didn't care about my cheap and ugly bike.

I looked around to find Matthew casually leaning against his expensive car. I rolled my eyes, of course he had such a car like that which also made me grin at the same time.

I walked up to him and saw him nervously looking up from his phone as if he thought I wouldn't show up.

How cute.

The moment that we started to make eye contact for the first time was like everything around us started to move in slow motion. It was just him and me in that certain moment. Oh how I could easily get lost into those light grey eyes. They were literally inhuman, as light as his grey eyes were.

His straight black hair looked perfect. I'm not kidding, I couldn't even find one imperfection compared to my ugly messy hair. Also his clothing style was just so Matthew.

He wore a black shirt that defined his strong muscles, a dark leather jacket and a pair of jeans. It totally suited the beautiful guy in front of me.

I frowned when I looked at his face, he looked confused and almost lost?

"Matthew? Is everything okay?" I asked him worried.

Seriously Rain? That's the first thing that you say to him?!

He snapped from whatever he was thinking about and looked at me with his mouth still slightly open. The image in front of me looked totally adorable.

"Y-yeah, you look great" He said which surprised me.

I tried to hide my cheeks as I felt myself blushing and hoped he wouldn't see it, but hearing him laughing told me otherwise.

"T-thanks" I said, not looking at him when he kept staring at me with this nerve wrecking expression.

He opened the door of the passenger seat for me, so I went to sit down and buckled my seatbelt as he did the same. He started the car and everything went silent except for the radio that was softly playing the song called There for you from Troye Sivan.

You'd think that this would be such an awkward silence, but it was everything except for that. It felt like we knew each other for years by now and the silence between us actually calmed me down even though I was still nervous.

I kept looking at the window while I nervously played with the end of my shirt. I watched the trees passing by and looked up at the clear blue sky. I was always the one who'd like to observe things.

"I didn't exactly know what you liked so we're just going to this fancy Italian restaurant if that's okay with you? Is it? I should've asked you first shouldn't-"

"I'd like that" I interrupted him and smiled to reassure him.

He glanced at me and started to focus on the road again, but not without a small smile. So I looked back at the window also smiling to myself after I listened to the next sentence of the song.

Sometimes I just need a light.

I jumped when I suddenly felt someone's hand on my shoulder.

"Sorry, did I scare you? I wanted to tell you that we were here" Matthew said looking concerned.

"Oh my god, I fell asleep didn't I? On our first date!? I'm so sorry Matthew" I apologized while we were getting out of his car and we walked towards the restaurant.

"It's okay" He said.

"Are you sure? I don't want you to think that I don't-"

"It's fine Rain" He interrupted me and ruffled my hair.

"Hey! Don't do that" I started to pout at him which ended up with the both of us laughing our heads off.

He locked his car and walked besides me, I felt his hand on my lower back causing goosebumps all over my entire body. Just one touch of him already felt electric.

We stepped into the restaurant to see a waiter already getting our way.

"Can I help you with something gentlemen?" A young man that was dressed in a tuxedo asked us.

"Yeah, I made a reservation for two. It's on the name Gray" Matthew answered and before I knew it, he led us to a table besides the window.

It was just perfect. It wasn't too fancy, but also wasn't boring either. The restaurant was obviously decorated in an Italian style and everything looked really clean and nice.

Matthew helped me to sit down on my seat and then he sat in front of me.

"I hope you like it? I know I should've asked you first, but I didn't want to sound like I didn't want to try for this date. It's a date right?! If you don't want it to be then-"

"Matthew! It's fine okay? I like it as long as I'm with you" I interrupted him and suddenly giggled like a child while taking his trembling hand in mine, not leaving his hand anymore.

I don't know how I suddenly got so spontaneous, but it was like Matthew changed me into a completely different person and I honestly liked it.

I took the menu cards that were already placed on the table and gave the other one to Matthew. I scanned everything even though I already knew what I would order.

I loved Italian food.

I didn't look at him, but smiled when I felt him intertwining our fingers. The same waiter as before came towards our table. I saw him slightly smiling as he looked at our hands. It surprised me that Matthew felt comfortable doing this in public, but then again this restaurant wasn't near our neighborhood either.

Don't get too flattered Rain. Matthew would never go for someone like you.

"Have you guys decided yet?" He asked us.

I wanted to reply, but Matthew already spoke up before I could so I just stared at him.

"I would like a Risotto and a water please. What do you want baby?"

His nickname made me blush which I obviously tried to hide.

"I- uh I-I'd like Pasta Carbonara a-also with some water please" I said embarrassed of myself.

Why did I always had to blush and stutter at the worst moments ever. Stupid Rain.

"Was that everything gentlemen?" He asked one last time.

I nodded and thanked him as he left us alone. I tried to avoid Matthew's eyes, but I couldn't. He seriously had this attraction that drew me towards him.

It felt like we've been looking into each other's eyes for ages by now and hell I could look at them till the day I die. That's how beautiful his eyes were to me.

"Tell me more about yourself Rain" He suggested.

"What do you want to know?" I asked him, not knowing what to tell him.

"I don't know, what do you like to do in your spare time?" He asked.

"Well, I told you I like photography so I'm mostly going out to take pictures and if it's not that, then I'm probably home just reading a book. Nothing very interesting really. How about you?" I asked him.

"Mostly just training. But I don't think I like rugby anymore" He said and surprised me again.

"Why don't you like it? I thought you loved it? You're literally the captain of the rugby team" I asked him curiously.

"I don't know. It doesn't make me happy. I did this to make my father proud for once, but it's not something that I want to continue" He explained to me which didn't make sense at all.

I really thought he loved it, but I think that I should've never judged on his looks and reputation. It honestly made me feel ashamed of myself.

"Then what do you want to do?" I asked him.

"I think I like music? I learned myself to play guitar when I was little" He said shyly.

Hang on, Matthew Gray is shy?

"Well, I think you should continue your dreams Matthew. Believe me, it will make you so much happier than you before. Do what you love, because it'll always be there for you. It'll be there in your darkest, but also happiest days" I explained to him, secretly hoping he'd do something with this.

He looked at me in awe which made me even more nervous.

"You know, I thought this date would be a disaster to be honest, I don't know why. But you showed me otherwise Rain, it's like we already know each other for so long and you're not judging me which makes it so easy to talk to you" Matthew explained while smiling at me. God, I loved his smile so much.

If I didn't feel guilty yet, then I definitely do now. Because I did judge him at first. But I'm not judging him anymore. He showed this new and different side of him, I liked it.

"You're right. I thought you were this total jerk, but you already proved me wrong after one look in the eye" I admitted to him.

I felt his grip on my hand getting tighter. His hand felt so good in mine, it was like they were made for each other. They fitted perfectly into each other.

The waiter came back with our food and drinks.

"Enjoy your meals" He politely smiled at us.

We thanking him as he walked away since there were a lot of people in this restaurant.

The rest of the night was just us eating our food and talking about everything, literally everything. The subject went from family to exes to school and many other stuff. We were getting to know each other even better than we already did.

Like how he told me that he has a cat named Tro and he likes books. I never knew this stuff about him.

Matthew and I stood from our seats when we finished our plates and we walked towards the counter to pay.

"This one is on me" Matthew suddenly said.

"No, you don't have to pay for me Matthew" I started to protest.

"It's fine Rain" He laughed and literally ran to pay.

Everything went so fast that I stood still and watched Matthew talk with the waiter which took a bit longer than it should. But I didn't pay any attention to it as I was planning on how to murder Matthew.

"Are you ready to go?" Matthew asked me with this sudden smile of his before we started to walk towards his car.

"I could pay for myself you know" I said to him.

"Rain, I asked you to go out with me so it's on me okay?" He laughed when I faked being sad.

"Are you sure, I can pay you back?" I asked him.

"God no Rain, it's okay!" He laughed a bit louder at me.

"Okay fine! But the next time it is on me" I said.

"So there will be a next time?" He asked smirking, but I still didn't miss out on the hope in his voice. Of course he only heard that part.

"Definitely" I answered smiling as bright as I could.

We made it to his car and talked about anything that came up to our minds. I really didn't want to leave him yet so I tried to talk as much as I could and I think he did the same.

"Hey, it's pretty dark outside and I don't want you to go alone to your house. Is it okay if I drive you home?" He asked me.

"Yeah sure, I can walk to school tomorrow and I'll take my bike on the way back home" I smiled.

It surprised me that my face didn't hurt from all the smiling yet.

"Cool, give me your address and I'll bring you home"

But I'm already home.

I wanted to say that so bad, but I didn't know him for that long and didn't want to scare him off. Somehow everything felt in its place. Everything with Matthew felt so damn good. It seemed like I was falling in love with him.

You're not falling in love again Rain, you're not.

I gave him my address and he started to drive again. I felt myself growing sad since we were almost at my house by now. Tonight was such a good night and I haven't had such a great time in a while.

I frowned when we arrived. We got out of his car and walked in silence towards my front door. When I stood in front of my door, I turned around to look at Matthew's heavenly eyes.

"I really enjoyed tonight Matthew, thank you so much" I thanked him.

"No problem, it was definitely the best date I ever had" He said and winked at me.

It went silent between us again, but I couldn't care less. The silences between us has been calming and it still is. It gave me time to observe his beautiful light grey eyes and his black hair that somehow still looked perfect.

Just looking at Matthew made me all weak again.

I don't know what came over to me, but I suddenly kissed him on the cheek as a thank you. And when I realized what I actually did, I suddenly began to feel nervous again and wanted to slap myself so badly.

"D-did I r-really do that? I'm s-sorry I-"

"It's okay" he interrupted me with that cute laugh of his, which instantly calmed me down. He suddenly smiled so bright just like a little kid.

"Good bye Matthew" I sighed disappointed and went in for a hug.

I felt his arms around my waist as I threw my arms around his neck since he was a couple of inches taller than me. Hugging him felt so good yet so bad.

Shall I do this? Was this okay?

I decided to ignore my thoughts and followed my heart.

And my heart said that I was safe and sound.

I broke the hug, which made me feel so empty inside once I lost his warm embrace. I smiled one last time and was about to open the door, but stopped when I felt Matthew soft lips kissing my forehead which surprised me and made me freeze right then and there.

"Good bye Rain"

He started to walk away from me.

I couldn't do anything. I couldn't blink, move and had trouble breathing. Just one simple guy could do that to me. He surprised me too many times today. All I could feel were the tingles on my forehead.

I saw him looking back for one last time and watched him as he waved me goodbye before he drove off into the distance.

As if on cue it suddenly started to rain.

Point of view Matthew

6:53 P.M.

Why wasn't he here yet? Did he just ditched me? Didn't he want to go out with me? Did he really hate me?

I know he didn't like the fact that I was Matthew Gray and I understood that all too well. I was mean, cocky and bullied people especially gay people.

I was probably just acting all paranoid and impatient. I've been preparing everything for so long, because I wanted this to be a perfect date for the both of us. Rain deserved so much better and I wanted him to enjoy this for once.

It literally took me 3 hours to get myself ready. I thought only girls had trouble with choosing what to wear, but I didn't think that anymore after today.

And when I finally decided what to wear, I had to do my hair which also took pretty long. Luckily I was done after those horrible three hours, still unsure of how I looked like. I honestly didn't care about my looks, because I knew everyone at school kept looking at me even if I wore something really ugly.

But this time it was different.

Rain would to look at me.

I looked at my phone again to see that it was 6:58 P.M now. I felt myself getting more and more nervous with each second that passed by. I just really hoped that he would show up. I put my phone away and looked up to see him.

He was damn beautiful.

I shook that thought out of my head, because I wasn't gay.

Rain and I made eye contact for the first time and everything around us almost started to stop moving. It was like I was drowning into his ocean blue eyes. I would love to drown right now.

His curly brown hair was so messy, it made his hair look perfect. His messy brown hair just fits with him somehow. I would love to ruffle his hair with my hands right now.

I frowned at my own thoughts. I never felt like this towards someone.

Why was I experiencing this right now?

It was honestly confusing and frustrating the hell out of me.

"Matthew? Is everything okay?" I suddenly heard Rain ask.

I snapped back to reality and looked at him with my mouth still slightly open. Shit, I must look like a total idiot right now.

"Y-yeah, you look great" Before I knew it I complimented him.

Are you serious Matt?! That's all you can say?

It was like I didn't had any control over myself anymore and I just spilled the words out of my mouth without thinking about it.

He started to blush which made me laugh, it looked so cute.

Wait what? Cute? I never used that damn word before. Focus Matthew.

"T-thanks" He said, not looking at me anymore and I took that as my cue to leave.

I opened the door of the passenger seat for him before he went to sit down and buckled his seatbelt as I did the same thing. I started the car and drove away. Everything went silent except for the radio that softly played There for you from Troye Sivan.

I was relieved that the silence between us wasn't awkward at all. I felt comfortable with him and I guess he felt the same.

I tried to concentrate and focus myself on the road, glancing once in a while at Rain. I decided to break the silence and speak up.

"I didn't exactly know what you liked so we're just casually going to this fancy Italian restaurant if that's okay with you? Is it? I should've asked you first should-"

"I'd like that" He interrupted me and smiled at which showed that he really meant what he said.

I glanced back at him and looked at the road again with a small smile. Rain looked back at the window. I smiled bigger as I listened to the next sentence of the song

Sometimes I just need a light.

After a while we arrived at the restaurant. I parked the car and turned the engine off. I looked at Rain to find him sleeping. He looked too pure and so soft, I managed to secretly snap a picture with my phone.

I put my hand on his shoulder and tried to wake him up. He jumped which startled me.

"Sorry, did I scare you? I wanted to tell you that we were here" I said looking nothing but concerned.

"Oh my god, I fell asleep didn't I? On our first date? I'm so sorry Matthew" He rambled and apologized while we were getting out of my car and walked towards the restaurant.

"It's okay" I said.

"Are you sure? I don't want you to think that I don't-"

"It's fine Rain" I interrupted him and ruffled his hair.

"Hey! Don't do that" he started faking a sad face which ended up with us laughing.

I locked my car and walked besides Rain, I put my hand on his lower back which made me feel so good, touching him felt so fucking good.

We stepped into the restaurant to see a waiter already getting towards our way.

"Can I help you with something gentlemen?" The young man in a tux asked us.

"Yeah, I made a reservation for two. it's on the name Gray" I answered and he immediately led us to a table besides the window.

I helped Rain to sit down on his seat and then I went to sit in front of him.

"I hope you like it? I know I should've asked you first, but I didn't want to sound like I didn't want to try for this date. It's a date right?! If you don't want it to be then-"

"Matthew! It's fine okay? I like it as long as I'm with you" He interrupted me again and suddenly giggled while taking my trembling hand in his, not leaving my hand anymore.

I always thought Rain was shy, but he showed his spontaneous side today and I totally loved it.

It was like the tables have turned since I was too nervous to properly think and he was all spontaneous. Luckily Rain's hand on mine made me stop trembling.

He took the menu cards that were already placed on the table and gave the other one to me. I decided to look at everything on the menu and after a while I picked something to order.

I intertwined our fingers with each other and saw the same waiter as before, come towards our table. I saw him slightly smiling as he looked at our hands.

"Have you guys decided yet?" He asked us.

"I would like the Risotto and a water please. What do you want baby?" I let out before I could even think.

Seriously Matthew? Baby?

"I- uh I-I'd like Pasta Carbonara a-also with some water please" Rain ordered probably ignoring my stupid nickname.

Why did I always had to act so damn stupid?!

I felt myself getting mad, but I tried to control my feelings which was pretty hard.

Not here and not right now Matthew, it's your first date for god's sake.

"Was that everything gentlemen?" The waiter asked us one last time.

Rain nodded and thanked him before he left us alone. I kept looking at him and found myself staring into his eyes, but then he looked back at me.

We kept looking at each other as if our eyes were the last thing we would ever see. I could look at his eyes for an eternity.

"Tell me more about yourself Rain" I suggested.

"What do you want to know?" He asked me.

"I don't know, what do you like to do in your spare time?" I asked.

"Well, I told you I like photography so I'm mostly going out to take pictures and if it's not that, then I'm probably home just reading a book. Nothing very interesting really. How about you?" He asked me.

"Mostly just training for Rugby. But I don't think I like it" I said and saw that I surprised him with this.

"Why don't you like it? I thought you loved it, you're literally the captain of the Rugby team" He asked me curiously.

"I don't know. It doesn't make me happy. I did this to make my father proud for once, but it's not something that I want to continue" I explained to him.

Of course he would never think that I hated rugby. I've been playing it for as long as I could remember and I was captain.

"Then what do you want to do?" He asked me.

"I think I like music? I learned myself to play guitar when I was little" I said a little bit insecure, he was the first person I ever told this.

"Well, I think you should continue your dreams Matthew. Believe me, it will make you so much happier than you ever were. Do what you love, because it'll always be there for you. It'll be there in your darkest, but also happiest days" He explained to me, making me think about it.

He had a point. Rugby didn't make me happy and it would only get worse once I kept pushing myself to keep going on. I needed to do something I loved to actually enjoy my life.

"You know, I thought this date would be a disaster to be honest, I don't know why. But you showed me otherwise Rain, it's like we already know each other for so long and you're not judging me which makes it so easy to talk to you" I said smiling.

And it was true. Rain wasn't the type to judge and gave me an actual chance to be me. It's like he did accept me for who I was, not for who everyone wanted me to be.

"You're right. I thought you were this total jerk, but when I looked at you in the eye, you already proved me wrong" He admitted to me.

I tightened my grip on his hand. His warm hand felt so good in mine, it was like my hand needed his.

The waiter came back with our food and drinks.

"Enjoy your meals" He smiled at us.

We thanking him as he walked away pretty fast. Probably because there were a lot of people in this restaurant.

The rest of the night was just us eating our food and talking about a lot of subjects. We talked about our families, friends, hobbies, school and so many other things. I got to know him better, he told me so much about his past and biological parents also about what happened after that.

Rain and I stood from our seats when we finished our plates and walked towards the counter to pay.

"This one is on me" I said.

"No, you don't have to pay for me Matthew" He started to protest.

"It's fine Rain" I laughed at his cuteness and literally ran to pay for us.

Luckily he didn't try to get there before me. So I payed for everything and was about to go back towards Rain when the waiter from earlier said something to me.

"You're really lucky with your boyfriend. I hope everything will work out between the two of you, don't let him go" He genuinely smiled at me.

Should I tell him that Rain isn't my boyfriend?

"Thank you, I won't" I smiled back and decided not to correct him. I went back to Rain.

"Are you ready to go?" I asked him with a big smile and we started to walk towards my car.

"I could pay for myself you know" He said to me in a sassy way.

"Rain, I asked you to go out with me so it's on me okay?" I laughed when I saw him doing an imitation of me.

"Are you sure, I can pay you back?" He asked me again.

"God no Rain, it's okay!" I laughed harder.

"Okay fine! But the next time it is on me" He said.

"So there will be a next time?" I asked him smirking, but secretly hoped that he meant it.

"Definitely" He answers smiling brightly. I swear even his smile could make the world stop spinning.

We made it to my car and talked about anything. I tried to talk as much as I could to him since our date was almost ending.

"Hey, it's pretty dark outside and I don't want you to go alone to your house. Is it okay if I drive you home?" I asked him, hoping he would say yes so I wouldn't worry about him.

"Yeah sure, I can walk to school tomorrow and I'll take my bike on the way back home" He smiled.

"Cool, give me your address and I'll bring you home"

Just his expression made me freeze right then and there. His eyes could make me do anything for him, they were one of his powerful features. It was like I'm falling in love with him.

You're not falling in love with him Matt, you're not gay.

He gave me his address and I started to drive. Sadly, we were almost at his house.

We got out of my car when we arrived and we walked in silence towards his front door. He turned around to look me in the eyes when he stood in front of his door.

"I really enjoyed tonight Matthew, thank you so much" He thanked me.

"No problem, it was definitely the best date I ever had" I said and winked at him.

Everything went silent between us again, but it didn't matter. It gave us more time to be together, to look at each other and enjoy the company.

He suddenly kissed me on the cheek which surprised me. I think it surprised him as well, because he looked genuinely confused.

"D-did I r-really do that? I'm s-sorry I-"

"It's okay" I interrupted him and laughed softly to make sure that it was okay.

My face started to hurt from laughing and smiling so much, but I couldn't help it. Rain made me so happy and less grumpy these days.

"Good bye Matthew" He sighed disappointed and hugged me.

I wrapped my arms around his waist after his arms snaked around my neck since I was a couple of inches taller.

Was it okay to hug a guy? Shall I do this?

I didn't care anymore and pushed my thoughts away, because this felt so damn good.

I stepped out of the hug, which immediately made me feel lonely once I lost his arms around my neck. He smiled one last time and was about to open the door, but he stopped when I kissed his forehead.

"Good bye Rain" I started to walk away from him.

I looked back at him one last time and waved him goodbye before I went to my car. I started the car and drove away.

As if on cue it suddenly started to rain.