Pain, sorrow, misery...how to make it through it all? I have no idea what I have been holding onto this whole time, but I'm still here and I'm still reaching. For what you may ask? I have no clue...I always have to keep moving on even if there is nothing to move on for because I have to do it.

"It's been going on ever since I was younger...my mom isn't the best at relationships. So she has always been kind of sad and angry about it." I paused feeling his arm wrap around my waist. I wanted to smile up at him but couldn't get over how sad I was feeling about remembering this...

"My mom used to be so happy with taking care of us," I said trailing off again.

She used to be so loving. When I was really young she was always there for me smiling...then it all changed when they came along. Man after man she would fall for only to try to fill the hole in her heart. The nights she cried and drank the night always to try to forget...it made me feel even worse about everything. I could have done something to be there for her. When she really needed it...

"Hey it's ok baby," Shuichi kissed my forehead, making me blush. It distracted me from my thoughts for a moment.

"Sh-Shuichi?!" I gasped and looked up at him. I wanted to be able to know what he was thinking at the moment because sometimes it can be hard to tell. He has a loving gaze with a hint of sadness and concern. It made me feel guilty as well as safe...but I wasn't sure which one I was feeling more.

"What else happened? I can tell you want to say more...and I want to listen," Shuichi said with a smile. I kissed his cheek and held onto his hand. I closed my eyes for a moment, I want to tell him...at least the main parts anyway...

"She always took it out on me...because my sister knows how to stand her ground and she is always fighting back...so I'm just easier to pick on," I sighed and held onto my arm while my body shook. I hate how I'm always the one who has to do everything without complaining...while she gets to sit and relax while I'm always suffering...

"I am always exhausted from school just to come home and clean the whole house the same as last night-" The door opened, making me flinch. Is my mom coming in?! I freaked out and walked over to the door trying to keep Shuichi out of view.

"Oh look it's the gay fag Konkani!" My sister laughed walking into my room looking at Shuichi. She smirked.

"Oh~ it looks like the worthless loser got a boyfriend after all! He must be such an idiot! Falling for you?! Who are you kidding you unlovable shit!" She screamed and laughed harder. I frowned and walked up to her.

"Stay away from him! You can do what you want to me, but if you touch him..." I paused looking up at her with a dark glare.

"I'll kill you..." I said coldly. I know she flinched even if her face didn't change.

"You aren't even worth the trouble bitch! Later dumbass faggot!" She said before slamming the door. I only hoped and wished that it didn't wake up my mother...

"I hate this..." I whispered putting my head in my hands trying my hardest not to cry. I was so overwhelmed by what she said and the tears in my eyes I didn't even notice him moving over to my side.

"I had no idea..." He said sadly. I held onto his hands rubbing the back of his hands. He didn't say anything for a moment...and I was too close to crying that I didn't trust my voice at all.

"I love you so much no matter what...and know you can always come to my house because me and my mother adore you love," He said, making me smile. I turned back to him right when his phone buzzed.

"My moms here to pick me up..." He said looking down. I hate seeing him sad...especially about this...

I brought his face closer to mine kissing his lips. He slowly wrapped his arms around my waist again and kissed me back. He makes me feel safe whenever he is near. Like this whole aura around him that makes me feel better about anything that is bothering me...it's unreal.

"You can call me if you feel lonely or overwhelmed, love," He said before I led him outside where his mom was parked a couple houses down. This made me smile a bit because they are being so considerate of my situations.

He walked back to his car blowing me a kiss before getting into the car. I smiled when I felt my phone buzz.

ShuShu: Thank you for today Kichi! I love you 💙💜

I blushed and placed it back in my pocket before looking back up at the car. It was a nice black van. I wondered why she had bought a van when Shuichi was her only child...but I didn't question it.

"Thank you Shu." I smiled and waved at his mom before walking back inside. I watched as they drove away through the front window...before I had to get ready for more cleaning as usual.

"Best to get started..." I frowned looking at the messy house. Letting my eyes scan over the couch that was absolutely filthy knowing my mom has been living on it while she is slowly wasting away...

I flinched and got started knowing it was better to get started early than waiting to get yelled at...

I grabbed the cleaning supplies and looked at my reflection in the mirror in the hall. What does Shuichi even see in me anyway? I looked at my face and frowned. I'm so weak and pathetic...it hurts to even look at myself in the mirror. I winced and walked away to start cleaning my moms room again. This time since she has been camping on the couch there wasn't much to take care of...but I knew that I should clean it as if it was messy...because she can tell when I don't...

-Another day. I'm not exactly sure what to say? Thank you all so much for reading!!-

-ShuichiOuma010-