I expected this to be a normal Wednesday. In the morning I would have regular classes, in the afternoon I would have my special classes, the same as always. I arrived at the hall, put my bag down to read the book I had taken last week. Then people started arriving, filling the stalls and talking to each other. From time to time I was forced to look up by a sudden movement or a loud noise, but although I watched their faces, I couldn't tell in what order my classmates arrived or what they talked about.

It irritates me a little to have so many of us squeezed into one room, to be moved around and treated as a unit. Anyway, I'm not going to do anything about it either, that would force me to get involved in conflicts I don't need to.

I'm a bit of an introvert, in case you couldn't tell. It's not that I'm irritated by others, just that I have to deal with them so often.

Suddenly a familiar voice interrupted my reading. I looked up to find the biggest clown of all: Ocko. At that precise moment he was raising his hands to both sides while balancing a bottle on his forehead, as if he were a sea lion. I imagine that his strange dance was accompanied by a joke, because Erica laughed out loud.

—Cut the crap and go flirt out of my sight!— I thought, irritated.

I tried to continue with my book. Fortunately, Ocko and Erica calmed down, but a few minutes later she interrupted me again.

—What's that?— she asked.

My eyebrows tightened of their own accord. I put my book down and looked at her, unsettled. I consider it rather rude to interrupt someone while they're reading. Just because others can't hear the narrative in my head doesn't mean I'm not doing anything. On top of that I get annoyed by people who ask "What are you reading?" like fools. They're just looking to make conversation with someone who doesn't want to converse. Respect my fucking edges, for fuck's sake!

I put up with all this, of course, and prepared to answer her in a cordial tone, when I realized that Erica wasn't pointing at my book, but at my bag.

—You play sports?— she continued.

I was stunned. I didn't think someone would ask me about my bag, I really didn't want to answer, I didn't want people to know.

—Uh... ah, yeah, yeah, sure — I stammered — I go to... to the gym.

—Really? Pekos too! – she exclaimed, cheerfully— Are you two gym buddies?

I cursed under my breath. I had forgotten that that gorilla goes to the gym every day.

—No, another gym— I said, although I don't know how much she believed it.

—You do it to stay in shape?— she guessed.

—Yes... yes, precisely— I continued.

I was lying through my teeth, but there wasn't much else I could do. I could only wait for Erica to get bored and go off laughing at Ocko's nonsense, or for the professor to arrive.

—You know, sometimes I think I should exercise more too.

—No, you're the one who should exercise the least in the whole world— I thought.

I opened my mouth, undecided how to answer, but at that moment Solis appeared.

—Why don't you join the football team?— she asked Erica, inviting her.

—Huh? Oh, no. I couldn't.

Solis was a football-loving girl. She was tall, athletic and very social, someone I tended to avoid as much as possible. We weren't friends, but we didn't hate each other either, or at least I don't think she knew that I disliked her. She always wore a tight ponytail, like she was ready to go play football at any moment.

—Oh, come on! There's a lot of people on the team! We're so good!

She put a hand on Erica's shoulders. I started breathing harder, a little irritated.

—No, I'm not good at sports— Erica lied.

I imagined her breaking the ball with a kick, or inadvertently hitting one of her teammates with a ball and sending her to the hospital for not controlling her strength. At the time, that idea struck me as funny.

—No one is good at first, but you have what it takes. I'm telling you— Solis said— You'll make a lot of friends, too! It was through the football team that I met my boyfriend.

Erica's eyes widened in surprise.

—Really?

I gritted my teeth in anger. Damn Solis, I wanted to strangle her.

Fortunately, at that moment the teacher appeared, and everyone left for their seats.

I knew there was no reason to be upset about what Erica did, but that she was so easily swayed by what Solis told her, bothered me. It took me a while to calm down.

After my head cooled down, I remembered that Erica had called my attention to my bag. I hoped she hadn't suspected anything. I don't like people finding out what I do after school.

----------------------------------------------------

During recess I noticed Ocko and his group fooling around as usual. I glanced at them as I walked by. Ocko, Pekos and Troveto were talking carelessly, sitting in a circle. Galica was lying between Troveto and Ocko's shoulders, arguing with Pekos about something he'd done, surely he'd inadvertently bumped into her and dropped her to the floor, it always happens. Erica was also sitting with them, quiet. Something like that wouldn't have surprised me, but it wasn't the first time I'd seen it. Even when I went and talked to that group, Erica didn't usually take part in the discussions.

Then something happened that I didn't expect, she looked at me and nodded at me. I tried to think of something to say back, but my legs were carrying me fast, and stopping would seem too much to answer such a subtle greeting. I wanted to make a similar move, but I soon walked too far and found myself without that possibility. Erica turned back to her friends.

Then I just stood and looked at her. Maybe it was just my impression, but she looked a little grumpy. I quickly turned again and walked away at a brisk pace before she noticed me.

I couldn't believe how dumb I was. I should have answered, I should have been more attentive.

—Silly! Silly! Erica won't love you now— I said to myself.

I wondered how she would have taken my lack of an answer. Maybe she had seen it as me ignoring her. I felt horrible, I wanted to go back immediately to correct myself, but I couldn't, not for something so trivial. Then my secret would be obvious. If she had found out, I was sure she would have walked away from me.

Anyway I kept thinking about that moment for the rest of the day, self-flagellating myself for my mistake.

----------------------------------------------------

I thought for a while and came to a conclusion: I couldn't apologize directly, but I could show her that I cared in another way. "See you tomorrow," "Have a good one," "Get some rest." Any superficial bullshit that people say to each other, anything to get her to not think of me as a hateful witch.

Shortly after that thought, classes ended. I quickly finished my notes, put my stuff away and turned around. But she wasn't at her station.

I looked around the room for her, she wasn't there. The others were also starting to stand up and leave. Then her laughter came to me from the side; she was in the hallway.

—When did she leave?— I wondered, exasperated.

I had taken too long to put my things away, perhaps finishing my notes had taken away the seconds I needed to catch up with her.

I hurried down the hallway, but by the time I left my seat, the usual afternoon traffic jam was starting to build up at the exit.

—No!— I screamed in my mind.

I gritted my teeth in anger. I should have planned well, I should have assumed that Erica would leave first.

With my bag in hand and my backpack ready, I walked through the large corridors towards the exit, looking for her with my eyes at all times. I thought, hopeful, that it would be easy to find her, since she would be frolicking with her little group of friends, but soon I reached the school entrance and saw no sign of her.

I stood outside and watched the students leave, standing outside. I noticed a handful of blonde heads, but none of them were Erica.

I sighed, disappointed. I looked at my watch, I couldn't waste any more time, so I left.

—Tomorrow— I said to myself.

----------------------------------------------------

After a short drive, I arrived at the dance school. I walked in, greeted the girls who had arrived earlier, changed quickly and headed to the practice room. It was a few minutes before the lesson started, there was the teacher and most of the girls. Some were ready to start, others were looking at their cell phones, talking to each other and laughing.

—Ready?— asked the teacher when the time came.

As in every class, she gave us an explanation of our level and what we were going to do in that session. We started with basic exercises, followed by stretching. Soon she put on some music, a slightly obnoxious song, but one that everyone else loves. She always plays the same type of song, the most popular songs of the last three years, all sung by women, most of them talking about spite towards a man, or how in love they are. Sometimes I wish they would change the subject, like the joy of exploring new places, the difficulties of making friends, the theorem of Thales of Miletus and such.

But that's just my tastes. I was dancing along just fine, when suddenly it occurred to me to look out the window into the hallway as I took a step in which I balanced on one leg. Less than two meters away from me, on the other side of the glass, Erica's face was staring at me.

—Ah!— I cried as I fell.

The girls around me picked me up, the teacher cut the music. Apparently she hadn't noticed Erica, because she stared at her strangely. Then she came up to me.

—Are you okay, honey?

—Yeah, yeah, I was just surprised.

They all turned to Erica. I guess she wasn't expecting something like that, because she jumped away from the window and left at a fast pace. Thank heavens the teacher is fast as a cat. In two steps he reached the door, went out and called out to her.

—Miss!— she said in a loud voice so Erica could hear her, taking care to keep her tone sympathetic.

Erica stopped. The teacher asked her to come closer. Erica obediently walked back. She didn't look at me, but as always, her expressive face left little to the imagination: she looked like a nervous girl who had been caught doing something she shouldn't have. Perhaps she even thought it was precisely that situation.

—Do you want to join our classes?— the teacher asked.

—No, I just...— she looked at me for a moment, nervous.

She explained herself quickly. I couldn't hear her, because she started to speak softly, but the teacher seemed to understand.

—That's fine. You can stay and watch, if you want— she offered— If you prefer to dance, you can always sign up.

—Thank you— Erica said.

Then she moved away from the door and leaned against the wall of the hallway, in front of the window. The teacher closed the door.

—We'll have a bit of an audience today. It will be a good exercise for the presentation. Raquel, sweetie, are you okay? Can you keep dancing?

I looked at Erica, puzzled. I wondered how she had gotten there, if Ocko had told her.

—Damn Ocko, he promised me he wouldn't tell anyone— I thought— I'm going to kill him next time I see him.

—Raquel?— the teacher called me.

I realized I had left her waiting.

—Oh, yes, yes, I'm fine.

She nodded, pressed a button on the speakers and the music resumed from the beginning. Everyone assumed their starting positions, including me, and we continued with the class.

As I danced, I looked out the window into the hallway. Erica was watching intently, showing no signs of being bored, but she didn't seem to be laughing at the dancing either. Her piercing blue eyes made me a little nervous and made me make more mistakes than usual. Throughout the entire class I couldn't get one question out of my head: what was she doing there?

----------------------------------------------------

After we finished and I changed my clothes, I ran into her on the way out. I thought she would be gone by then, but she was still there, quiet, mysterious, imposing. We moved aside so as not to disturb the other girls passing by.

—Hello— she muttered.

—Hello— I answered.

There was silence. I put a hand to my ear.

—Did you like it?— I asked.

Silly question. Of course she hadn't liked it; we were just a group of amateur girls, and moreover it had been a practice of a choreography that we hadn't had much time to rehearse. It had been horrible; any yoga class would have been more harmonious than whatever we did. But she smiled at me.

—Yes.

I knew it wasn't true, that she was lying because of social norms, but hearing that from her filled me with happiness. I couldn't look her in the face.

—Really?— I mumbled, unsure, like a fool.

—I didn't know you danced— she pointed out— it was... surprising.

I wanted to answer, but then the teacher came and put a hand on my shoulder.

—I'm sorry, honey, but I have to close.

—Ah, yes, sorry. Come, Erica.

I thought that would be a good excuse to take her by the hand, but I didn't dare, I didn't know what she would think of something like that. Instead I contented myself with gesturing for her to follow me, and we both went out the door.

A few steps away was a small promenade where we found a bench. At that hour there were quite a few people on the streets, but no one paid any attention to us.

—Why did you come?— I asked at last, trying not to sound too confrontational.

She looked away, with a guilty expression.

—I thought... —she turned red— I saw some of your clothes peeking out of your bag, and I thought that... I thought you danced, but in a different way.

—Huh? In a different way?

I didn't understand what she was saying, but she seemed to have trouble with it.

—I thought you worked in an adult's club or something— she confessed.

I was so surprised that my eyes widened. Me, in one of those places?!

—What are you talking about?! How could I work there?!— I pleaded.

—I'm sorry, you were trying so hard to keep it a secret!— she explained— I didn't mean to think badly of you.

I folded my arms.

—So you spied on me to tell the others?— I growled.

—No, no! I swear I didn't! I just wanted to confirm that it wasn't what I thought— she defended herself. Then she shrugged— It would have been weird, I admit it.

I wanted to argue that in that kind of establishment it would be difficult to find underage youths, but then I remembered that I wasn't seventeen anymore. I was of age, as were some of our peers. Besides, I know next to nothing about those kinds of adult places, and I couldn't claim such a thing about them.

I sighed.

—And why did you want to confirm it?— I asked.

I could think of several reasons myself, but I wanted to find out from her. I wanted to know what had really led her to follow me.

She kept her eyes on her feet. She didn't seem to want to talk.

—Did you want to tell Ocko?— I guessed.

—No! No, I really didn't plan to tell anyone... unless it was something serious.

I figured seeing me dancing on a pole half naked and surrounded by men my parents' age could be called serious. I wasn't going to argue with her about that.

—I was worried— she admitted at last— I thought you were on the wrong track, I thought it was something you couldn't tell anyone, that you might need me.

I was surprised again.

—You wanted to... to save me?— I asked to make sure.

She shrugged and looked at me.

—If it had been necessary, yes.

I bit my lower lip without thinking. When I realized it, I closed my mouth. I pulled my legs together, slightly tense, and tucked my hands between my knees.

—How... what were you planning to do, in that situation?

She opened her mouth to answer, but after a second's thought, she stopped.

—To hit the bad guys... I think. That sounded better in my head.

A chuckle came out of me.

—Where did you think of something like that?

She turned red again.

—I don't know, that's how it comes out in hentai!

—What do you... You mean those weird pornos?! Oh, Erica, no! So gross!

She covered her face, I burst out laughing. At some point she did too.

—Well, at least nothing is happened. Nobody is extorting you to dance in a cabaret or anything like that, right?— she asked to be sure.

—No, don't worry, I don't do that kind of thing.

She stared at me.

—So you dance?

I nodded.

—We practice mixed dance, or so the teacher calls it. We try to combine various styles, although we usually dance modernizations of folk dances. The teacher is very creative that way.

—That's amazing!— she commented— And the others come to see you, when you do performances?

—The others? You mean our classmates?

She nodded, but I shook my head.

—No, I try to keep it a secret— I confessed.

—What?!

—I like to dance, but I don't really like people looking at me. I know it's strange, but that's how it is. I'm almost embarrassed when it's in public. Everyone has a relative or someone they know dancing, no one is interested in the dance itself, that's why I don't like to show it— I put a hand to my chest— it's... something I like to enjoy for myself.

I noticed that she looked at me with a doubtful face. It was to be expected, it's hard to understand an outcast like me.

—So you don't like to be seen?— she asked.

—It's not that I don't like it, I'm indifferent— I explained— what bothers me is when people pretend to be interested.

I waited for a typical answer, like "people are interested!" or something silly like that, like the things my mother or my aunts used to tell me, but Erica didn't mention it.

—I think I understand.

—Huh?

—Or rather, I imagine what it must be like— she said— To work hard, week after week, only to get fake applause. It sounds like people don't take your effort seriously.

Her sincerity perplexed me.

—Yes, that's just it!— I exclaimed.

She smiled.

—But still, I envy you. Nothing has ever appealed to me enough to put in the effort and apply myself. Your dedication is impressive.

I was silent. I couldn't believe Erica was praising me for my silly dancing, but her words felt like a soft, cool breeze after years and years of gritty wind. It was a sincere compliment, a pleasant envy, a mouthful of confession.

—Says the girl with super powers— I joked back.

She laughed.

—No, my strength is nothing to show off. I was born strong and I haven't done anything to earn it. Your dancing, that's nice. Even I know it takes a lot of practice and coordination, but you were doing it so well, you looked so pretty!

I felt my face getting hot, I think I was turning red.

—Do you want me to teach you?— I asked.

I immediately regretted it. Erica was going to refuse and I was going to look like a fool.

—She'll figure it out!— I exclaimed in my mind, desperate.

I held my breath, praying that her refusal would come quickly so that I would stop suffering.

—What?!— she exclaimed— Really, will you teach me?!

I breathed again. I looked at her for a long time, she looked happy. I wondered when she was going to say no. Then I realized she had agreed.

—What? Do you want me to teach you?— I shouted, puzzled— I mean, sure!

I put a hand to my head. I thought that had to be a dream, I had passed out during practice and was having a weird dream about Erica. I looked around, there were a lot of details. I turned to Erica, she was still there.

—When do we start?— she asked.

I was dumbfounded. She had really agreed.

—You don't mind? I'm a girl— I reminded her.

She looked doubtful. I remembered that I hadn't asked her out, just offered her dance lessons. I shook my head, what I had said sounded weird.

—Hey... I... let me check my calendar, I'll tell you tomorrow during class— I said.

She smiled, happy.

—It's going to be fun!

Then she hugged me and kissed me on the cheek. Nothing out of the ordinary, just a way to say good bye.

—I have to go, I'll see you tomorrow.

She left in a hurry, it seemed as if she had just remembered she had plans elsewhere. I barely managed to raise a hand in farewell, and she left.

After she disappeared around a corner, I put a hand to my chest. My heart was still beating fast, my breathing was ragged, my head was cluttered and I couldn't think straight. I swallowed.

It had been a long time since I'd felt those sensations stirring in my body.

I liked Erica. I really liked her.

Only she liked Ocko. I could tell from a distance.

I sighed, hoping my emotions wouldn't grow any bigger from that point. I didn't want to be disappointed later when they became a couple or if I suddenly saw them canoodling in the courtyard.

But then her expressive eyes and amused face came to mind, and for a moment I let go and imagined her, telling me she loved me too.

I shook my head. I knew that wouldn't come true.