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Nostalgia Critic vs Angry Video Game Nerd

Requested by JohnathenYoungs

When two critics on the Internet gets mad, it's best to get out of their way when they unleash their critical wrath

Angry Video Game Nerd

Power Suit

Super Mecha Death Christ

 Hand-to-Hand Combat

Pens

NES Zapper

Feats

Beaten the Joker, Bugs Bunny, Freddy Krueger, Jason Voorhees, Leatherface and Micheal Myers

Survived a close shaved encounter with the Blood-stain bears

Beaten the Ghostbusters NES game but only with the help of Game Genie

Despite how he thinks of himself, The Nerd is willing to put himself at risk to protect his fanbase

Defeated the Critic once

Weakness

Poor bowel movements

Major anger issues

Prefers to spend his time playing games he hates

Anti-social

Mean to his guests a lot

Nostalgia Critic

Gun

Immortality 

Sharp shooting skills

Martial arts skills

Intelligience

Feats

Criticizes a work for acting insensitive about real life events, such as The Legend of the Titanic animated movie, which turned the disaster into a cliched message against whaling and established that all the passengers onboard survived the sinking. 

Humiliates the TMZ crew with inappropriate footage of themselves, and tells them that if they kept asking people on the internet to forget about it then they would, which would actually cause people to remember even more. 

Manages to form a temporary truce with his female counterpart, the Nostalgia Chick due to a bad movies

Successful in taking over the micronation of Molossia

Defeated Insano

Died many times and resurrected many times

Weakness

Shaved his beard due to losing his bet on the Presidential Election

Failed twice in his attempt to take over Molossia

Despite his success in his conquest for Molossia, The Critic did not take any action at the nation's financial crisis, resulting in him getting overthrown

In his acts, The Critic fails to stay in character and accidentally continued to show his bare crotch due to his short skirt.

Tends to go berserk at the mere mention of the "Bat Credit Card"

Once went insane over the Batman and Robin review that he tried to kill himself many times and all sharp objects, even his tie, were confiscated from him.

Has poor mental health

Always tends to shoot, swear and threaten others

Apparently commited suicide via self-immolation by fire after viewing Ghost Dad and became a ghost, although this was merely revenge on Malcolm and Tamara for what they did to him in the Wicker Man review.

Lost against the Angry Video Game Nerd

Fight

Previously on what-if battles...

The Critic laughed and he jeers the Nerd.

The Critic: Ha ha! You suck nerd!

The Nerd: @#$/ you poopyhead!

The Critic anger grew upon hearing that and he curses.

The Critic: @#$/ you!

The Nerd curses back.

The Nerd: @#$/ you!

The Critic then said to him.

The Critic: This means war!

The Nerd: No shit Sherlock.

The Critic: I'm gonna end you!

The Nerd: I'm gonna end you!

Both men then flips off at each other before they shut down their computers and they stormed off, seething in anger.

Now

Ding dong!

The sound of the doorbell could be heard.

The Nerd walks towards the door and he answers it.

Just as he opens the door, The Critic screams and he pulls back his fist, only to be greeted with a fist to the face.

Angered, The Critic charges forward and he slams into The Nerd.

As the two wrestles with each other, The Nerd shouted.

The Nerd: Are you raisin' a barn? Close the @#$/ing door!

The Critic stood up and he obediently shuts the door.

The Nerd nods approvingly before the two runs into the living room, screaming in anger.

The two stood behind a sofa and The Critic punches the Nerd down.

As The Critic laughs, all of a sudden, The Nerd grabs him by the tie, drags him down and he began beating him up.

Objects began flying everywhere as The Nerd beats up The Critic.

Then The Nerd was thrown over his sofa and The Critic stood up, glaring at him.

The Nerd stood up and the two walks out.

Both The Nerd and The Critic stares at each other before they began striking kung fu poses.

The two then began exchanging blows, punching and kicking each other.

The Nerd grabs The Critic and he throws him over but The Critic sweeps his leg across the ground, tripping The Nerd.

The Nerd backflips and he lands feet first on the ground.

As The Critic began getting into a boxing stance and he approaches, The Nerd shot out a kunai from his hand, screaming.

The Nerd: GET OVER HERE!!!!

As The Critic was pulled over, The Nerd performed a Hadouken by firing a blue energy orb from his hand Street Fighter style.

The Nerd: Hadouken!

The Critic screams as he was blasted backfirst into a pile of boxes.

The boxes crumbles upon making contact with The Critic.

The Critic pushes the boxes aside and as he stares at them, he questions in annoyance.

The Critic: Who keeps piles of boxes around?! Honestly!?

Offended, The Nerd said to him.

The Nerd: Oh! Don't you talk about my boxes! I like boxes!

Surprised, The Critic began criticizing The Nerd.

The Critic: That's the @#$%est thing I ever heard shitmunk!

The Nerd: Shit load of #$%!

The Critic: @#$% monkey

The two then began exchanging insults.

The Nerd: I'm giving you both middle fingers...

The Nerd spun and he flips off at The Critic, finishing his sentence off.

The Nerd:...At full force!

The Critic: Cow humping tranfestite!

The Nerd: Fe fi fo @#$% you!

The Critic: @ss-blower 

The Nerd: You turd-lover.

The Nerd then began mocking The Critic by making weird noises.

The Critic then began mocking The Nerd by imitating him.

The Critic: Ooh look at me! I'm The Angry Video Game Nerd! I like to play video games and I like to do stupid things and all...

The Nerd then jumps around and as he points his middle finger at The Critic, he began to insult him in a childish manner.

The Nerd: @#$% you. @#$%ing you. @#$% you. @#$% you.

Then both men began cursing each other before the two jump up to continue their battle.

The Critic then hurls one more insult at The Nerd.

The Critic: Cock knocker!

The Nerd thoughts for a while before he insults The Critic by saying.

The Nerd: Jerk.

Insulted and outraged, The Critic screams out.

The Critic: That's it! AAAHHH!!!

The two charges at each other and they began trading blows.

As their fists collides, the impact sends the two flying back. 

The Critic then opens up his jacket, slips his hand inside and he pulls out a pistol.

The Critic laughs as he opens fire at The Nerd Jason Bourne style.

The Nerd swerves, dodging the bullets.

The Nerd then throws a Sonic Boom at The Critic.

The Nerd: Sonic Boom!

As the blast flies towards The Critic, The Critic whistles and all of a sudden, an arrow flies into the room and it hits the Sonic Boom, causing it to explode.

The two faces each other before they whips out their lightsabers!

The Nerd activates a red bladed lightsaber and he got into a fighting stance.

The Critic activates his green bladed lightsaber, only to feel a sharp burning pain in his foot, causing him to scream out in pain.

Realizing he held his lightsaber the wrong way, The Critic corrects his mistake by flipping the lightsaber back the correct way.

The two got into a fighting stance before they swung their lightsabers, clashing with their blades.

Red and green sparks flies as the lasers collides into each other.

The Nerd and The Critic continues to trades blows before the two eventually got bored and they tosses their lightsabers aside.

The two then continues to fight by boxing each other Little Ippo and Rocky style.

The Nerd punches The Critic in the face.

The Critic delivers a hook into The Nerd's face.

The Nerd throws a rabbit punch into the Critic's guts.

The Critic retaliates by throwing an uppercut, knocking The Nerd back.

The two then lifts their legs up and they exchange kicks with each other Jackie Chan style.

The two continues to kick before they  ceased their kicking and they massages their legs, sore from the kicking.

The Nerd then whips out his NES zapper and he aims it at The Critic.

The Nerd then fires a laser shot at The Critic, causing him to scream and fall onto the ground in pain.

The Nerd then quickly dashes into his room to regroup.

Angered, The Critic whips out his gun and he gave chase.

The Critic grabs the doorknob, pulls it open and he points the gun, yelling out.

The Critic: Ha ha! Huh?

The Critic's face switches from confident to shock upon seeing the sight in front.

The Nerd is now fully armed, dorning his Power suit.

Realizing he's in trouble, The Critic quickly tries to flee as The Nerd chases after him.

The Critic then reenters the living room and he curses as he looks around desperately for a weapon.

The Critic: Shit!

Realizing he's in peril, The Critic hid behind a box just as The Nerd approaches him.

The Nerd aims his arsenal of weapons at The Critic, preparing to finish him off. 

But before he could even open fire, The Critic shouts at The Nerd.

The Critic: Wait! Would you let your brother die?

Dumbfounded at The Critic's words, The Nerd questions.

The Nerd: Wait. You're my brother?

The Critic then said.

The Critic: Um. Yeah. I am my brother.

Not convinced, The Nerd then questions The Critic.

The Nerd: Well surely you know the name of our mother.

The Critic: Well of course I know the name of our mother! It's um....

Realizing that The Nerd had him cornered, The Critic tries to guess The Nerd's mother's name.

The Critic:...ElizaBet...

Before he could even finished, The Nerd points a pistol at The Critic and The Critic admits.

The Critic: Whoa oh! Well, you gotta give it to a guy for trying!

The Nerd then screams in anger as he unleashes a barrage of lasers at The Critic.

The Critic screams in pain as the lasers strikes him repeatly.

But The Critic is still far from defeated.

All of a sudden, The Critic began firing Sith Lightning at The Nerd, causing him to scream out in pain.

The Critic laughs as he continues to fire Sith Lightning at him.

The Critic: Power!

The sheer power of the Sith Lightning began to bring The Nerd to his knees, tearing apart his armour in the process.

The Critic laughs maniacally, thinking he had won but however, The Nerd still has a trick up his sleeve.

As The Critic laughs, all of a sudden, The Nerd pulls out his ultimate weapon, the Power Glove.

The Critic gasps as The Nerd throws a pen into his chest, causing him to scream in pain.

The Nerd charges forward and he throws a punch, striking The Critic hard in the face, instantly killing him.

The Nerd and stood up and he looks down, shocked at his victory.

Victorious, The Nerd kept his weapons and he went into his room, ready to celebrate his victory by drinking and playing bad NES games.

But as The Nerd left, The Critic lifts his bloodied hand up, seemingly resurrected from the dead.

KO?

The winner is

The Angry Video Game Nerd

Advantages and disadvantages

AVGN

Better variety of weapons

Not easily fooled by The Critic's tricks

Survived worst case scenarios

Defeated more dangerous foes

Better content on his Youtube Channel

Easily triggered

Nostalgia Critic

Better martial arts skills

Smarter

Able to use movie references to help him in his fight

Sith Lightning destroyed The Nerd's Power Suit

Easily triggered

Not many choices of weapons

Despite his popularity, the Nostalgia Critic is not as popular as the Angry Video Game Nerd

Victory qoute

AVGN: I'm the domination of the Internet

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Captain America vs Master Chief

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