Vale of Tears
CelticWarriorQueen17
Poetry

CAVEAT: I had a hard time structuring this review. It was clearly poetry, but not the usual type; neither could I review it as simply fantasy or historical fiction. I will be reviewing cover, grammar & language usage, subject matter & execution, and title in that order.

Cover
10/10

I can't see anything to take off for your cover. It's well balanced, aesthetically pleasing, and has a readable and pretty font. It also appears to fit the story to a T.

Grammar & Language Usage
7/10

I had a few issues with you here. Now I happen to know that you are a grammar stickler, so you may very well be aware of these instances. If not, you may ask me to point them out in more detail. I generally noticed typos, misplaced commas, and run-on sentences that could be okay but seemed a bit iffy.

Usage-wise, I have a suggestion: in writing, do not list ages in numerals. It is much preferable to write them out the long way.

Another thing that came to my attention was a little bit of redundancy. "Many-a-time, I oft kept watch..." you wrote. Many-a-time, oft -- they mean the same or nearly the same thing. There is no reason to have them both.

A couple inconsistencies. I did not see "thou, thee, thy" or "ye, you, yer", but instead your, yer, thee, and ye at random.

However, you show overall a good command of language and I appreciated your store of vocabulary; the descriptive paragraphs of Scotland, Wales and Ireland were quite lovely.

Subject Matter & Execution of the Same
8/10

Your piece is well researched, from what I can tell, although I do not actually know what time period it is set in. Although I do not like reading accents, and I have heard that it's better to not try to write them in much, you have done a good job with it and I won't take points off for something that's mostly opinion.

On the other hand, I felt as though the organization of your material was not top-notch -- the transitions were hard to follow, and the whole sequence of events perplexed me at first. But that was mostly because of the title...

Title
6/10

I love your title. Love, love, love your title. AND yet I have a quibble with it. It does not seem to fit the book. The poem is two-thirds reminisces of beautiful Celtica and exciting times with friends, and a little bit at the end about the grievous times that came at last. Reading, I simply could not get the "vale of tears" vibe that I was hoping for. If you ever considered a rewrite, I suggest that you infuse more of the saddened mood throughout the memories, and spend a little less time on the glorious early days.

Overall
7.5/10

- cover rating
7/10

Your poem was one that I enjoyed as a direct, raw read of life in early Scotland/Wales, with sad realism and a glimmer of true hope at the end. With polishing, it would make a very beautiful work of art.