I lick the blood off my lips, stretching and hoisting myself back up. Straightening the black jacket, I head back to the others. Slowly. Way too slow but I still feel like crap. I haven't regenerated much, but even after eating I don't think I'll be recovering too fast. Ivor's potions won't work well on me so I just have to recover myself. And there's just so much of me that needs to recover.

Sighing, I slow my pace even more. It doesn't really matter that I'm down in the dumps physically, my mental state is so screwed that everything is in this haze of gray. Did I do something evil? Was I a monster or a hero during that battle? Is the blood of the people who died in that battle on my hands? Shouldn't I be relieved that the devil, that devil who couldn't value any human life, is finally dead? Am I just in shock or can I just not feel anything anymore?

With a sharp shake of my head I try to drive the thoughts out. Only to sigh and contemplate that since these. . . doubts are human I should accept them. If I don't, if I try to deny them, doesn't that make me more monster? My monster wasn't able to kill the dragon devil but I also couldn't beat that beast when I suppressed my monster. So should I deny the monster or live with it?

Well at least in all this mess I know for sure I can't let the monster side just be free. Total monster might be really strong, that devil proved that, but I can't let anything else hurt my friends. Not after everything.

I nod to myself, kicking at stones and leaves. That's what matters most. My friends have suffered. And instead of coming back somewhere safe to heal, we're on our own to survive. I couldn't help them when they were suffering and I didn't when they were struggling to put their lives together. Now I have to be there for them, whatever that means and whatever that takes.

Pings of regret and guilt sting at my chest. If only I did something more. Something that would've had Beacontown accept them. I didn't even care, not really. I always knew I would never be accepted and so I didn't pay attention and just didn't do anything. Ugh, so stupid of me.

Soft drifts of intense 'discussion' floats in my ears. I perk my head up, walking faster now. Yet my shoulders fall and I slow down again. I can't help my friends here, I can't do anything. There's no way for me to communicate anymore. How am I suppose to help them as they figure out what to do? This is exactly why I left to go eat in the first place, I'm just helpless with them.

I huff at the air, dark humor tugging at my lips. Part of me is braced for thorns of frustration to spew at my thoughts. I'm expecting a heat to ignite with a flash of rage at my helplessness. But even the monster's too tired to be angry.

"What makes you think that will be any different?"

The shout, definitely's Petra, is met with three others. Words and frustrations all jumbled up in each other. I trudge my feet, which somehow suddenly became a lot heavier, towards them.

"Hey! Hey! Hey!" Lukas's shout rings above the others, quieting them. "We have to face the facts: Beacontown has rejected us. Do we have any reason to believe that the other towns won't?"

I slink behind a tree, not wanting to get caught in this, watching Olivia's face contort into bitterness. "Redstonia hasn't been attacked like Beacontown! We can convince them that we're human-"

"'Liv, come on, how long will it take for the word to spread? We're better off sticking to ourselves."

Ivor grunts, as I silently hoist myself up the tree, scowling at. . . everything I suppose. "Are you forgetting what civilization is good for? We won't be able to get-"

"Oh boo hoo!" Petra snaps, "We went months in a cell far from civilization! This is actually a huge improvement so man up and let go of some of your civilized comforts."

They all start arguing at once again, a clamor that makes me wince as I sit on a high branch. Not necessarily from the noise, just the guilt for not doing something about. But what can I do except add more angry screeches? There's already plenty of that so it's probably best to hang out up here. Hopefully everyone will cool off soon so I can rejoin them.

I decide against figuring out what they're saying, instead just watching all of them bicker. Well except for Gabriel. He looks to be in this weird mix of exasperation, frustration, and fatigue. All of which is a pretty rough combo, I've felt it myself multiple times.

He runs a hand over his face and then clears his throat. No one hears it and I'm the only one who saw it. He does it again, still not heard. The frustration on his face rapidly growing as the others get louder if anything. All of the others are yelling at this point. Shouting and pointing and making wild gestures as if that would actually help them convince others. I mean, well, I guess I did that a few times and it worked. But I know everyone down there is really stubborn so it's definitely not a winning strategy. Not even entertaining to watch, I'm not even in it and it's making me exhausted. 

"Enough!" Everyone's heads snap straight to Gabriel. "Have you all lost your minds? Are you all truly so recovered from last night you are willing to tear each other apart?" I nod in approval at Gabriel's words, I would've said something along the same lines.

Olivia sighs, slowly shaking her head. "We have to come to a decision now, or else it will be too late to do anything about it."

"Olivia-"

"No!" Olivia fists at the air, but the anger only looks sad with her one arm. "I'm not giving up yet! We may still have a chance-"

My heart twists at her voice and I jump down from the tree, landing in the middle of the group. I blink for a moment to realize what I did then quickly formulate a plan. Something. Anything. Now.

"Jesse?" Lukas breaks the silence, but I keep my eyes on Olivia. "Were you. . ."

With a deep breath, I take a step forward and hug Olivia. Careful not to claw her or hurt her in any way. She gasps, but soon her lone arm wraps around my back. It doesn't take long until her chest seems to hiccup, then again. A muffled sob prying its way out from her.

Steadily I peel away, looking at her dead in the eyes and hoping that my pure white eyes aren't freaking her out. She sniffles but holds my stare just the same, the red in her eyes glinted with tears. I break take another deep breath and ever so slowly shake my head.

Her breath hitches, eyes widening. "You. . . you really don't think we'll be accepted?"

I shake my head again.

A single tear rolls down her cheek. Olivia whimpers a bit before holding me in another hug. I wish I could say something reassuring, but I'd only make a downright terrifying screech. I can't hold her tighter for fear of hurting her. I didn't know that even in a hug I can feel so helpless.

But then I feel another pair of arms wrap around us. And another and another. Axel's huge arms, Lukas's furry ones, Petra's thin but concrete arms, Ivor's robe, and then Gabriel's strong arms. All of us in this one big circle, in one big hug.

My skin itches, prickling with uneasiness, but the rest of me relaxes. A soft breath flows from my chest and my eyelids slide shut. I forget about keeping an eye on the monster or anything. I just hold onto them, nothing else really matters.

A blissful eternity passes before we pull away from each other. I open my eyes, and smile down at Olivia. She hiccups, but slowly nods after a second or two. A few tears shinning as they slide down her face.

"Hey-" Lukas nudges her softly- "we'll never leave each other. No matter what else happens, you'll always have us."

Petra rubs the tops of her head, smiling. "And isn't that enough?"

"Yes. Always." Olivia nods, vigorously with tears rolling out of her eyes. Axel wraps her back up again, sobs softening to hiccups then to whimpers then to sniffles then to just a sigh.

Ivor clears his throat. "Very touching. But may I just ask where we're going then?"

Silence. All of us look away from Ivor and I desperately try to think of somewhere. Far from other people, has to have plenty of food or at least enough water for us to grow food. Maybe somewhere by the coast? I wouldn't know-

"Do you guys remember that jungle-"

"No way." Petra shakes her head at Lukas. "That is too close to Beacontown for us."

Lukas rolls his eyes. "No, you weren't there, I'm talking about the one we went past going to Ivor's lab in the Farlands."

"What?" Axel glances at us then at Olivia. "Where's that?"

Ivor drags a hand down his face. "It's far, far from all civilization. If we go there no one will know."

"Sounds perfect! Let's get going then-" Petra waves to the sky "-we got plenty of sunlight to burn!"

Ivor and Gabriel glance at each other, Olivia pulling away from Axel, and Lukas just shrugs and looks to the sun. I'm trying to remember the way there, it feels like a lifetime ago we went to the Farlands. When we were all scared witless but forcing to push on. When our lives were shattered by a monster for the first time. When we were still holding onto the hope that once the Wither Storm died everything would go back to normal.

Sighing, I point in the direction I'm pretty sure is the right way. Part of it's logical, but I'm mostly going on a gut instinct. I glance at Ivor, just to make sure I'm right. His eyebrows scrunch up, muttering something under his breath, before he sighs and nods.

I look at the others, meeting their eyes. I nod and begin to walk, sticks and leaves snapping under all our feet. At first, we stay completely silent. It's not too uncomfortable with the quiet chirps in the background, but still the silence presses. Yet the tense air eventually dissolves somewhere in the mountains. Ivor and Petra in the lead, Ivor rattling off a couple 'fascinating' facts about how the mere hills around us use to have some extraordinary. . . thing or whatever.

Sighing, I settle my gaze to the horizon. I can't see it but I know there's a desert out there. We probably won't get to it today, and even if we do, we'll bed down before crossing it. Despite a few complaints from Axel, no one's really seems that tired. I know they are, they must be, but everyone's just still walking on though.

"Hey."

I blink, shifting my head to turn to Lukas. I frown as I watch him rub his arms, tugging at his dirty old prison uniform. A wave, a mixture of remorse and fatigue and this weight, washes over me. I guess I'm looking forward to when we bed too.

Lukas huffs, a small smile twitching on his lips. "I guess I can't expect you to say 'hey' back can I?" He sighs and the small smile vanishes. "One of first things we need to do is get you a book and quill."

I nod and he falls silent, still rubbing his arms. I doubt he's cold, it actually feels kinda warm to me. Maybe he's just uncomfortable? Feels a bit. . . probably a lot overwhelmed. I'm sure there's a thousand thoughts bombarding him and taking him out of the real world. Maybe that's why no one's really complained, they're all stuck in their heads.

I glance down at the jacket I'm wearing and then to Lukas, who seems to have completely zoned out by now. I sigh and take off the jacket, careful not to tear it, holding it out to Lukas. His eyebrows shoot up, blinking at he looks at the jacket then me. I huff and smirk, rolling my eyes as I nudge him with it.

Slowly, he grasps the jacket, staring at it. "Tha-" He gulps, a tense and slow sigh steams from him. "Thank you Jesse."

I grin while Lukas puts it on, a smile growing on his face his shifts in it. I nudge his shoulder again, my grin getting wider and wider with his. He lowers his head, chuckling softly. "Do you even need words? I feel like we're having a conversation without you ever opening your mouth."

Huffing and rolling my eyes at him can't get rid of the small grin refusing to budge. A small grin as I look over my friends. A small grin as I look to horizon, no need to fear anything in front of it or beyond it. Such a small grin that's worked hard to get there and stay there.

Such a small grin that feels completely. . . human.

[End]

****

Whelp, I feel like there's five things I should say first.

Yes, this is it. The end has finally come. I'm sorry, extremely sorry for how long this chapter took to come out. However this chapter was written as the end before I vanished. I didn't decide to cut chapters or anything, I knew this was the last chapter for a month or so.

Which brings me to why I just dropped off. The day before I was suppose to publish, I, well, I got into a car wreck. Like, it wasn't as bad as it could be, I am still alive, but it sure wasn't as simple as a broken arm. It was enough though that it kept me in the hospital for quite awhile.

Anyway, with that and school ending all at once, yeah. I'm sorry, but I've been utterly exhausted for what seems like way longer than just a week and a half. Let me tell you, I've never been as excited for Summer Vacation. I think I could sleep the entire month of June off.

But no more of that, this is the end! Should be happy, not me throwing myself a pity party. And yeah, the ending is kinda happy and melancholic, but did you guys ever really expect a truly happy ending? I think I gave the Order the best realistic outcome for all this.

Sure, they'll be part animal and traumatized the rest of their lives, but those are just small details.

Hey, well, I don't know how to end this Author's Note. I just finished a 40+ chapter book. . . and I'm now blanking on how to end this thing. *sigh* I blame stress. Stupid stress.

Well if you made it this far, congrats! I'd like to hear whatever you thought of the book. The good, the bad, or the random. Hopefully you can tell an improvement of my writing over the months. I see it, but hey, I'm biased.

So. . . I guess all that's left is to thank you for reading! It was really fun playing around with this type of story and it helped tons for feedback and support along the way. I'll appreciate it forever. So thank you from the bottom of my heart.

That's all then! Again, thank you a million times over for reading and goodbye!