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WALKING IN THE WIND
vi. AMONG FLOWERS AND WEEDS

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  IT WAS PAINFULLY AWKWARD once everyone's stories aligned.

  One by one, Hope and the Pevensies exchanged their tall tales of chasing dreams, leading kingdoms, and living in faraway lands. As everyone discovered what happened between now and then, the tension only grew stronger, and more questions arose. How and why did Hope and Odette end up, of all places, in London? Why were their memories altered? If time moved differently in Narnia compared to London, then how long had it been since the Pevensies last ruled the land? What happened to Narnia and Wysteria? It was much like finishing a puzzle, only to realize one piece was still missing.

  Hope struggled to recall the details of her uncomfortable confrontation with King David, not because she didn't remember them clearly, but because she didn't want to remember them. At least she had the relief of not having to tell the Pevensies the grueling details of her and Edmund's accidental marriage, as he had done so already many years ago. Still, she couldn't help but cringe at the mere thought of recalling everything.

  Likewise, Edmund couldn't recall the 15 years he and his siblings ruled over Narnia without grimacing. Those years, albeit glorious and fortuitous, were filled with thoughts that ate at him to this day, and almost all of those thoughts pertained to Hope.

  Returning to England as a teenager instead of an adult, only to come back to Narnia one year later was enough of a shock for Edmund. But coming back to Narnia and reuniting with Hope and Odette after believing they were dead made him think he'd hit his head somewhere down the line and was stuck in a coma. Honestly, that made more sense to him than his current reality.

  If Edmund was being honest, he was furious to discover Hope's fate. He was enraged when he heard King David wanted her dead for making a silly mistake (one that wasn't even her fault) all those years ago, but finding out that she was in London this whole time felt like the ultimate betrayal from the universe. He had been so certain that she was gone forever, probably dead. In reality, she was practically down the street!

  Hope was different. Edmund could tell. He didn't know how he knew it since they'd only been reunited for an hour or so, but he was positive of it. She looked the same, of course. Saame fiery hair, same pretty smile, same bright eyes. But she acted differently. She stood taller, spoke louder, and spent less time hesitating and worrying about what she wanted to say. Perhaps living in a world where she wasn't constantly answering to someone was a good thing for her. She wasn't that timid handmaid anymore, and even if he wasn't used to it, he was proud of her.

  Once the dust settled, the group of six decided to continue exploring the ruins. Each of them needed time to process the information they'd heard before even thinking about what they would do next.

  If Edmund was being honest, he wasn't very interested in the ruins anymore. Well, he was, but his mind was distracted. All he wanted to do, really, was have a private conversation with Hope. About what? He didn't know. Anything, everything, and whatever came between. He just wanted to talk to her. He wanted to be near her. He missed her. But he wasn't sure if she felt the same way.

  He roamed the ruins aimlessly, gazing up at the treetops that replaced what should've been the ceiling. Every so often, he allowed himself to sneak glances back at Hope, who hadn't moved much since everyone separated. She stood in one place, staring at a tree as though it was the most interesting thing in the world. She was deep in thought. He could tell because of how she jumped when he finally worked up the nerve to approach her.

  "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you," Edmund hesitantly said, "...again."

  Hope shook her head, waving her hand. "Pfft, I wasn't... I wasn't scared. You just..."

  He raised an eyebrow as he mused, "Scared you?"

  Hope only sighed. "I hate when you do that. It's impossible to lie to you." Despite her words, she smiled without realizing it.

  Edmund hummed thoughtfully. "Well, my favorite book hasn't changed in years."

  He stared at her, inquisitive. Her cheeks were a faint shade of pink, and her smile was faint. She was tense, arms crossed. He frowned at all of the scratches on her cheeks, flinching at the thought of how she and Odette returned to Narnia. He and his siblings returned in a much simpler method. They were at the train station when suddenly, the train station turned into a beach. Meanwhile, Hope and Odette had to jump out of a moving car. Luck never seemed to be on their side, he noticed.

  Finally, Hope softly asked, "Do you hate me?"

  She could feel him staring at her, but she didn't dare to meet his gaze. She fixated on the great tree, focusing on its deep grooves and attempting to fight the uncomfortable tension between them.

  "I just... feel like everything's my fault," she added. "We wouldn't be dealing with any of this if I just—"

  "I don't think there's a bone in my body that could hate you," Edmund interrupted, stuffing his hands in his pockets. He hesitated. "If anything, it's my fault. I was the one that dragged you to Pine Hollow all those years ago."

  A blush captured her cheeks again as she muttered, "Well, it's my fault for liking you in the first place."

  "You realize that was a two-person task, right?" he retorted. "Besides, I was the one that made the first move."

  "Debatable."

  "It's really not, darling."

  She hummed, her shoulders dropping. His voice was calming to her, and he didn't even know it. "Alright, then that settles it. It's both of our faults."

  "You sound oddly relieved to say that."

  "Yeah," she admitted, shrugging. "It's nice feeling less alone when you screw up."

  "You didn't screw up," he assured. "You just have horrible luck."

  Hope laughed. "So do you."

  Edmund peered around at the ruins encasing them as they fell silent again. "It's a shame there are so many weeds around here. You'd think there'd at least be some flowers or something," he said. He was trying to soothe her nerves by talking about other things, and it was working.

  "The only difference between a flower and a weed is judgment," Hope declared. When he glanced back at her, she grew shy. "W-Well, it's just funny. Because you're supposed to be the Just."

  An amused twinkle glimmered in his eyes. He didn't bother fighting his smile. Oh, how he missed that strange mind of hers. "Are you saying there's something wrong with my judgment?" he challenged.

  "Well, I don't want to hurt your feelings."

  Edmund placed a hand over his heart, pretending to wince. "Too late."

  "You poor thing," she cooed. As they shyly laughed, Hope wavered. "Can I tell you something?"

  "Depends. Are you going to hurt my feelings again?"

  "Hm, I guess I'll just save it for later then," she joked before growing serious again. "You know how I said Odette and I didn't remember anything about Narnia or Wysteria?" He nodded. "Well... even though we couldn't remember anything, I had these dreams."

  "Dreams?"

  "Mhm. All year, I had these dreams, but... they weren't really dreams. They were my memories that I'd forgotten," she explained. "Of course, I didn't know that, but something in my gut knew my dreams were more than stupid dreams. I just couldn't prove it. But now that I'm here and I remember everything, I still can't... wrap my head around the fact that Narnia's real. It's not clicking entirely. I have to keep reminding myself I'm awake and this is real life." She awkwardly laughed. "It's stupid, I know."

  "It's not stupid," Edmund gently disagreed. He gazed up at the tree again, and while he wasn't looking, she stared back at him curiously. Her eyes followed the curve of his jawline as he spoke. "I had my memories the whole time, and I can't believe Narnia's real either. Honestly, after a while, I was starting to think it never happened."

  "Really?"

  "Yeah, it was weird. We lived a whole life here, only to leave and become kids again. I was half-convinced it was all a dream," he admitted. "I'd rather have forgotten all of this than wonder when or if we'd ever come back."

  "I'd rather have it your way. At least you had each other to depend on to know it's real," Hope muttered. When Edmund looked confused, she hesitantly added, "Odette and I are... kind of in the middle of a fight."

  Edmund wasn't fazed by this. "I could tell. You two kept bickering the whole time you told your half of the story. What happened? I thought you two never fought."

  Hope sighed. "Yeah, me too. Honestly, I didn't even know that arguing was an option until recently," she muttered. "Basically, the whole time we were in London, I'd been having those dreams, right? I talked about them to Ode all the time because I was so sure they were real. She was nice about it for a while, but she never believed in my... theories, not even after I started dreaming about her, too. She always called me crazy and said I read too much." She rolled her eyes at the thought. "But today, when we got our memories back, she ended up telling me she had been having dreams about Narnia this whole time."

  Edmund frowned. "That's awful. And she called you crazy anyway?"

  "Yeah! It's bullshit! I don't even know why she called me crazy in the first place—" Hope shook her head, calming herself down before she got worked up again. "Anyway, it didn't help that we'd just gotten in a fight earlier today. She got mad at me for talking about my dreams again, and I got mad at her because she hates everything that's fun or involves imagination or individuality! She has a massive stick up her ass now!"

  To her surprise, Edmund snorted. "Sorry, sorry, I just never thought I'd ever hear you say something like that about the princess," he mused.

  Hope stared at him for a moment before her smile returned to her. "You'd say the same about her if you were stuck with her this past year. She's a secretary at this law firm in the city, but she acts like she's the bloody Queen of England."

  "Sounds like she never really changed," he lightly added.

  Huh. Hope hadn't thought about it like that. Even with erased memories, Odette felt that sense of superiority and urge to belong. How bizarre.

  Hope nodded as silence subdued them. She cleared her throat. "I'm really sorry, you know. About everything," she gently told him. "I sort of stood you up."

  "Only 16 years late," he teased. "Don't worry. You were... a little busy."

  "Yeah, trying to not get killed should be considered an extreme sport," she quipped. And though they were laughing about it now, Edmund still felt a pang of fury thinking about King David.

  "I guess you owe me a date then."

  She wished she could have any control over the blush that had yet to leave her face. "Cute, but..." Hope trailed off. "I... sort of have a boyfriend in London."

  It was Edmund's turn to be shocked. His head snapped toward her, but before he could speak, he became distracted by how desperately she was trying to not laugh out loud. Oh. She was screwing with him.

  His grin returned. "You're evil."

  "It's your fault. You rubbed off on me," she insisted with an innocent laugh. "So... how mad were your siblings when they found out?"

  Edmund cringed at the memory. "You think King David's scary, but you haven't faced Susan's wrath yet," he mentioned. "She threw a chair at me."

  Hope's eyes widened. "A chair?!" Then, she paused, erupting with giggles.

  Edmund shot her a wild glance. "Are you... Are you laughing?"

  "Me? No, no, never!"

  "Oh, it just sounded like you were laughing at the thought of me getting hit with a chair."

  Hope didn't reply, only giggling a bit harder. Edmund couldn't even be mad at her. He found himself smiling just because she was.

  It was nice being like this again, pretending that nothing between them had changed. Though in a sense, they didn't need to pretend. They still cracked jokes to make each other feel better and felt better just by seeing the other one smiling. He was still Edmund, and she was still Hope. Perhaps the only difference between them was that there wasn't one anymore. Maybe their circumstances had changed, but at the end of the day, he was just a boy, and she was just a girl.

  From not too far away, just up ahead, Lucy called, "I wonder who lived here!"

  As Hope and Edmund moved closer to the group, Odette shrugged and said, "Who knows?" She stared out at the gleaming seas. "Must be a bunch of idiots for leaving a place with a view like this!"

  Odette and Lucy shared a laugh, though their smiles quickly fell when Susan bent down, picked up a small object, and confessed, "I think we did."

  Everyone gathered around at Susan's words, baffled. In her hands was a gold chess piece — a knight, to be specific. It glimmered under the light as she thumbed away the dirt. Immediately, Edmund recognized it.

  "Hey, that's mine," he realized, "from my chess set."

  "Which chess set?" asked Peter as Edmund took the piece from his older sister.

  "Well, I didn't exactly have a solid gold chess set in Finchley, did?" Edmund remarked. Hope stood beside him, eyeing the chess piece curiously.

  "Alright, how about this? If I beat you in this game, you're coming with me."

  "Fine. I see no harm in entertaining you. Besides, there's no way you can win since we're already in the middle of a—" Her sentence fell short as he picked up a piece and overpowered her king in one move. Checkmate. "—game. How...?"

  Hope glanced back up at Edmund, and when he smirked at her, she knew exactly what he was thinking of. She rolled her eyes, biting back a smile.

  It was then when Lucy gasped. She looked out into the distance, further into the heart of the ruins. "It can't be..." she whispered.

  But before anyone could ask what the Valiant was going on about, she was already grabbing Peter's hand and rushing toward the demolished dais. Despite the sheer confusion clouding everyone, they followed after her.

  "Don't you see?" Lucy called. She tugged Peter forward with her small arms, forcing him to stand in a specific spot. "Imagine walls." She pulled Susan, directing her into a spot beside their brother. "And columns there!" She took Edmund and positioned him before taking her place. The siblings stood in line, staring out at the ruins. "And a glass roof!"

  Hope and Odette exchanged doubtful glances, unsure of what Lucy was thinking as they stood on the shorelines. They looked around and tried to envision whatever was painted so clearly in the Valiant's mind, and it wasn't until Peter said two words when it finally clicked:

  "Cair Paravel."

  Hope blinked, and suddenly, the ruins changed form in her head. No longer were the fallen pieces of debris misshapen pieces of the past. She could see columns towering toward the tallest ceilings she'd ever seen and beautiful stained glass. She could see magnificent thrones and dozens of Narnian servants rushing through the halls. She could feel the carpeted floors beneath her feet and she could hear the sound of ceaseless chatter. She could see herself running after Odette and getting distracted by Edmund at least once an hour. These ruins were the whimsical castle the Pevensies once ruled Narnia from.

  Hope peered back at Odette, who appeared just as baffled at their newfound revelation. But the handmaid broke the silence when she whispered to the princess, "You realize you just called the High Kings and Queens of Narnia idiots, right?"

  "Well, I wasn't wrong," Odette whispered back. "They are idiots for abandoning this place."

  Hope would never want to give Odette the satisfaction, considering they were in the middle of a fight, but she couldn't help the snort that escaped her.

  Still, if this place was Cair Paravel, then what could've happened here? Clearly, the Pevensies didn't leave their castle like this. This must've happened after they left.

  As the group continued to investigate the ruins, more and more memories flooded Hope's mind. Every corner she turned, every "wall" she passed reminded her of something, even if it was just taking a walk between errands. She could see the first day she set foot in Cair Paravel, and she could see the day Lucy gave her a tour of the castle. Even when she looked up at where the ceiling was supposed to be, she could see the night where Edmund brought her to the rooftop (and nearly killed himself just to prove a point).

  She felt uneasy looking at the castle that once brought her so much joy. How could those days be so far away? It felt like it was yesterday she was running around doing silly tasks for King David and Queen Lydia. She was so caught up in her thoughts that she almost didn't hear Edmund speak again.

  He knelt beside a wooden object that was firmly planted in the ground. Realization consumed him as he furrowed his eyebrows. "Catapults," Edmund mumbled. It didn't take him long to figure out why those were casually lying around. He glanced back at the others, worried. "This didn't just happen by itself. Cair Paravel was attacked."

  Peter's face went pale, his stomach dropping at the thought. Could it be true? Was Cair Paravel attacked in their absence? He looked around at what used to be his home, troubled.

  Now that he knew this dump was Cair Paravel, he was recognizing things more quickly. He could imagine everything as it once was rather than what it was today, which was how he noticed a certain passageway camouflaged behind a wall.

  He ran over to it, beginning to push on the wall, and once Edmund realized what he was doing, he was by his side. The brothers pushed on the wall until it shifted to reveal a wooden door. The wood was rotting and decaying, yet it somehow still stood tall after being untouched for so—Never mind. Peter tugged on it, causing it to fall off of its hinges.

  A dark, ominous abyss greeted the six. Peter pulled out his pocketknife and cut off a portion of his shirt. All of the siblings could hear their mother scolding him in the back of their heads, but none of them bothered arguing with their brother, who often acted without thinking first anyway. Everyone observed as Peter took a stick from the ground, wrapping the shredded fabric around it to create a makeshift torch.

  Peter glanced back at his brother, nodding to the bag hanging over his shoulder. "I don't suppose you have any matches in there, do you?"

  "No, but..." He opened up his bag, smugly grinning when he fished out an electric flashlight. "Would this help?"

  Peter's face fell before he chuckled. "You might've mentioned that a bit sooner!"

  Hope stared at the flashlight curiously, mumbling under her breath, "Electricity."

  It was strange. Hope knew what electricity was now that she'd lived in England, but another part of her brain felt like she was just discovering what that was. It was like she was caught standing between two worlds — one where she was still the girl who was oblivious to modern technology, and one where she was fully aware of it.

  Edmund led the group down a narrow staircase. The only source of light was the beam produced from his flashlight. Hope was about to ask where they were going (She thought it was worrying how she and Odette were just blindly following them), but her questions vanished once the dark room, now filled with light coming from holes in the ceiling, opened up into a treasure chamber.

  Four chests stood on a lower level, each with stone statues standing beside them, guarding whatever was inside. The statues were archaic, each one having some sort of crack or layers of dust defacing them. They resembled a much older version of the Pevensies — a version where their hair was longer, their eyes were wiser, and each of them held scars that the cracks imitated. Hope felt odd staring at the statues. Just as she and Odette had, the four had lived a life without them, too.

  One by one, they hurried down another short staircase and pushed on a rusty set of gates to reach the chests. Hope was just impressed that they seemed to have been untouched. Then again, she figured a treasure chamber would be well-protected.

  "I can't believe it," Peter gasped excitedly. "It's all still here."

  Each Pevensie rushed over to their designated chest, pulling them open. For a moment, Odette paused. She wondered what could've happened to the castle back in Wysteria. Was it still standing, or had it fallen like Cair Paravel? Were her parents still leading the kingdom? How was she supposed to get back?

  Meanwhile, Lucy marveled at one of her many dressed from all of those years ago. "I was so tall," she reminisced.

  "Well, you were older then," Susan reminded her. She smiled as she withdrew her bow and quiver of arrows, each one marked with a crimson red feather.

  "As opposed to years later," Edmund bantered, "when you're younger."

  Hope crossed her arms as a small golden shield with Aslan's face carved into it caught her attention. The lion stared back at her, causing her to frown. She thought of all the wars that were fought from Cair Paravel. She thought of all of the wars the Narnians led and dominated. She thought of the only one they managed to lose, which seemed to have happened once the Pevensies left.

  Odette gazed up at each statue, puzzled. She found it hard to believe that these grown-ups were the Pevensies. How could they have grown up and matured and learned so much about life in such a short amount of time? Well, she supposed 15 years warranted that kind of experience compared to her and Hope's year in London. Nonetheless, it was troubling to think about.

  Odette peered back at Susan, whose bright blue eyes were filled with concern. Odette took a moment to appreciate how pretty her eyes were before she queried, "What is it?"

  "My horn," Susan muttered. "I must've left it on my saddle the day we went back."

  Odette knew of the horn Susan spoke of. It was one of Father Christmas's gifts. This horn was magical. See, if you blew the horn when you're in trouble, help will always come. Susan was bothered to find that it was missing.

  "I'm sure it'll turn up," Odette assured.

  Susan gently smiled at the princess. "Thanks, Odette. I appreciate it."

  Peter was the last one to open his chest. Slowly, he raised its lid, memories of every time he visited the chamber flashing through his mind. It was bittersweet recalling those days.

  Immediately, he reached for his trusty sword, Rhindon, drawing it from its sheath. Peter stared at it with a distant look in his eye as he read the inscription on the blade aloud, "When Aslan bares his teeth, winter meets its death."

  "And when he shakes his mane, we shall have spring again," Lucy meekly recited. She frowned. "Everyone we knew... Mr. Tumnus and the Beavers... They're all gone."

  Hope tensed at the thought of a war taking everyone the Pevensies once considered near and dear to their hearts. All of their friends, their loved ones, even innocent people they never knew personally were gone. The worst part was that they weren't sure of the numbers and who all exactly was gone. Hell, they weren't even sure how much time had passed since the Pevensies left!

  "I think it's time we found out what's going on," Peter declared.

  Hope stared down at the carving of the great lion again, deeply disturbed. She couldn't help but wonder how this could've happened to Narnia.

  More importantly, why didn't Aslan stop any of it?