Lance-centric
But Klance smut tho
But I can't really say it's a Klance
Have fun
Try not to want to kill me afterwards
Warning! suicidal themes!

It took Lance weeks to finally gather himself and confess to Keith. When Keith smiled and returned the confession, Lance was relieved and happy. A happiness he hasn't felt since he was on Earth.

They've been officially together for seven months now. Very few fights, very open about their relationship, and always telling each other everything. No secrets.

Well, that's what Lance thought. Lance told Keith everything.

He even told Keith that he had been diagnosed with severe depression.

So, everyday, when they'd wake or before falling asleep, Keith would cuddle Lance, kiss him all over his face, and murmur sweet nothing's that seemed small, but meant the universe to Lance.

Lance felt closer to his lion, felt closer to his teammates than ever. He felt needed, non-replaceable. He felt strong; like he could do anything.

His insecurities and depressing thoughts began to melt away at the back of his mind. He knew he'd one day return home to his family on Earth once the threat of an attack was completely dissipated.

Everything was finally coming together for Lance.

At least, he thought it was...

~

Heat surrounded them, a fog of lust hung over them. The sheets tousled around and between them; tangled.

"Lance..." Keith breathed out, tilting his head back as Lance trailed kisses down his neck.

Lance had noticed a rift slowly beginning to form between them, so he wanted to do something special for Keith. The evening led them to Keith's room, clothes shedding from their skin.

Their hips ground together, Lance's hands gently caressing Keith's sweaty skin. "Ready?" He panted, raising himself to look down into Keith's eyes.

Keith nodded, fingers tangling in Lance's hair. He bit his lip, a low whine escaping as Lance began to push in. "Sh- a-ah! Lance!" Keith gasped, arching his back.

The blue paladin placed fluttering kisses over Keith's face and down his neck. "I'm sorry... I'm trying to be gentle." Lance whispered, shifting his hips forward just a little more. Keith tightened around Lance, breath shaking with occational whimpered, even when Lance was all the way inside. "There, Keith... Hey," Lance pressed his lips to Keith's, "I love you."

The red paladin panted, looking up at Lance. The haze in his eyes was dark as he smiled. "I love you, too..."

Lance smiled back, pressing his lips to Keith's forehead. He raised Keith's legs just slightly, then began to rock his hips. Keith whimpered, nails digging into Lance's back.

"F-faster!" Keith gasped, and Lance complied. "Harder!" Keith cried and Lance obeyed. Lance rocked Keith's hips in time with his own, searching for just the right spot. When Keith released a choked cry, he knew he found it. Lance sucked in a deep breath and slammed their hips together, hitting Keith's spot as good as he could.

Keith screamed, back arching and head tilting back. "Shiro!"

Lance froze up, cock still balls-deep inside Keith. Keith's chest heaved as he panted, eyes tightly shut. "Wh-why'd you... stop?" The red paladin managed as Lance slowly pushed himself up.

"'Shiro?'" He echoed as Keith looked up at him. "You're thinking about Shiro?"

Keith's eyes widened and he slapped a hand over his mouth. "Oh my God, Lance- no- its didn't mean anything-!" He yelped, but Lance pulled out. "Lance, wait-"

Lance got off the bed and started pulling on his boxers he had dropped right beside the bed. "For what?" He grumbled, grabbing his jeans.

"I didn't- I swear, Lance, it's nothing, I can't explain-"

"Explain that you're screaming for Shiro when I'm with you?" Lance tossed his arms in the air, then yanked on his jeans. "Enlighten me."

Keith's mouth opened to speak, but no words came out. Lance huffed, grabbing his shirt. "Exactly."

"Lance, no- you don't understand!" Keith scrambled off the bed, holding the sheet around his waist. "Please, babe, it was nothing-"

"Nothing?" Lance scoffed, picking up his jacket while searching for his socks. "Keep telling that to yourself because it sure as hell is something to me. It's supposed to be me you scream for while we're having sex, not another man. That's not how it works." Once he had both his socks, Lance grabbed his shoes. "Go have fun with Shiro. Bye." He ground out, then stormed out of Keith's room.

He reached his room and tossed his things with a shout. Lance gripped his hair and hit his back and head against a wall. He slowly slid down, tears burning his eyes. "I knew it..." Lance whispered as tears slipped down his cheeks. "I knew it was all too good..."

~

"Damn it, Lance!"

"What did I do!?" Lance yelped as Shiro stomped over to him. "I was just doing what you told me to do!"

"No you weren't!" Shiro shouted, making Lance flinch back. No one stepped up to stop Shiro or even to say anything to defend Lance. "Your behavior almost cost us the mission!"

"What behavior!?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about! Go train for a few hours! Get yourself together!"

Lance shook as he looked around in disbelief. What happened? What did he do so wrong? He thought he did what he was supposed to do.

"Go!" Shiro snapped and Lance yelped. He scrambled out of the bridge and dashed down the halls.

The blue paladin slowed as he reached the training deck, and sobbed. He leaned against the door frame and held a hand to his face. Another loud sob wracked his body and He fell to his knees. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry..."

~

"It was unfair, but I agree with Shiro."

Lance paused as he heard Hunk's voice from the kitchen.

"His shot did almost cost us the mission, but he was doing as Shiro told him." Pidge muttered.

"No, because Shiro said- Lance!" Hunk gasped, the plate he was holding leaping right out of his fingers.

Pidge twisted, not willing to jump off the counter to see her teammate. "Lance? I thought you were still training?"

Lance gestured down the hall. "I just finished." He muttered, but his dark eyes were on Hunk. "Thanks for standing up for me, bro. Apreciate it."

Hunk sputtered over his words, but Pidge made the effort to crawl over the counter, then down to trot over to Lance. "I'm sorry, Lance. I should have said something-"

"It's fine." Lance gave a wave of his hand. "You just did to my best friend." He shrugged, then began to walk away. Pidge trotted after him, but didn't say anything. "You don't have to come with me."

Pidge shrugged. "You could use the company, right? Wanna come help me in my lab? If you get tired, I have, like, three different bed sets in there if you want to hide out."

Lance chuckled. "Sure. Thanks, Pidge."

~

Lance groaned softly and rolled onto his stomach as he was woken.

"Shut up, you're going to wake him!" Pidge hissed furiously.

"He shouldn't be in here. He'll fuck something up."

"Like how you fucked up last week?"

"He told you!?"

Lance's eyes cracked open. Through the blur and the wires, he managed to see Keith's boots and Pidge's bare feet.

"Yeah, before he passed out. I wondered why you two suddenly weren't talking." Pidge huffed, messing with something on a table. "Is that why Shiro blew up on Lance? Because you told him something happened while you two were having sex, but switched the roles?"

"No, I-"

"Shut the fuck up, Keith." Pidge grumbled. Lance blinked to clear his eyes. "Look, Lance doesn't deserve the shit you're giving him, and he definitely doesn't deserve the shit Shiro gave him. He's still trying to get over you. He's looking for ways to make up for something he didn't to for Shiro."

"I don't know what you're seeing in him, Pidge."

"My friend. My teammate. An older brother. Paladin of Voltron. A see a lot in him. Clearly more than you see. Now get your lying, fake ass out of my lab."

Keith grumbled something under his breath, then stomped out. Once the doors were shut, Pidge huffed. "About time. I think he's pissed because you left him to finish himself."

Lance chuckled tiredly, shifting. "Probably. How'd you know I was awake?"

"I actually didn't." Pidge giggled softly, climbing up onto the table. "Go back to sleep. You need to rest a little more. Sorry for waking you."

"It's okay." Lance sighed, nestling into the pillows and sheets. "I... I really thought Keith loved me."

Pidge sighed, stopping whatever it was she was doing. "I know... I did, too... I mean, I suspected something was going on in between him and Shiro, but I didn't say anything because I could have been wrong. I've been thinking that maybe I should have said something before you decided to give him your first time."

The blue paladin hummed. "I probably wouldn't have believed you and everything would have gone the same way."

"Probably..." Pidge let her legs dangle over the table. "I don't know how we're going to form Voltron now, though."

~

"Quiznak!" Pidge shouted, pulling back. "We can't form Voltron!"

"Damnit, Lance!" Keith snapped.

"What!? What did I do!?" Lance shouted right back, bristling.

"This is your fault!" Keith veered to the right to dodge a blast that hit Blue's leg.

Lance cursed and dove down. "Really!? Is it now!? What the fuck did I do!?"

Shiro breathed deeply. "Lance! Stop it. We're going to-"

"Me!?" Lance's voice pitched. "I didn't even say anything until Keith accused me of some bullshit-"

"Shut up!" Shiro cut him off. "Just listen to me for once, Lance!"

Lance gripped his controls, jaw clenching tightly as tears gathered in his eyes. "Fine." He managed. "Tell me what you need me to do."

Shiro leapt forward. "I need you to get back to the castle. Stay back for this fight."

The blue paladin stopped himself before he could snap back, then breathed deeply. "Yes sir."

~

"Lance?"

The blue paladin didn't move as the younger paladin made her way over. "What's the matter?"

Lance breathed deeply, then slowly let it out. "It seems that... The more Shiro sends me back, the less Blue talks to me."

"What?" Pidge's voice was filled in disbelief.

"I'm not her true paladin." Lance muttered, raising his bayard. "I'm not capable of flying her anymore. She wants her true paladin, now."

Pidge stood in front of Lance and placed her hands over his. "No, Lance. You're her true paladin. Lance, your probably unintentionally blocking her out with everything that's been happening to you. You're drawing into yourself. Don't talk like that. Please, don't talk like that."

Lance sobbed softly and Pidge slowly wrapped her arms around him. "Why? Why is this happening, Pidge? What did I do wrong?"

"Nothing." Pidge whispered. "You didn't do anything wrong, Lance. We're just surrounded by assholes."

~

Worthless.

Pathetic.

Weak.

Replaceable.

Lance sobbed, curled up in the corner of his dark room. His fingers curled in his hair as he stared at his floor.

Just kill yourself.

No one is going to miss you.

Everyone will forget about you.

Lance stumbled to his feet and across his room to the door. Lance made his way down the hallway, sniffling and hugging himself. He made his way into the bathrooms and locked the doors so they would slide open as someone walked by.

Get it over with.

Weakling.

Lance rubbed his face, then looked over to the razors. He reached for it hesitantly. Once he had it in his hands, Lance inspected the blades.

So easy.

Much easier than living and burdening everyone.

Lance's lip trembled, but he disassembled the blades from the razor and ran them under water. Lance held up his arm and looked over his wrist.

Remember how good it felt?

Remember the weight just lifting off your pathetic shoulders?

The edge of the blade brushed over his skin, over nearly-completely faded scars made years previous. Lance breathed deeply, then ran the blade over his wrist again... Applying more pressure.

That's it...

Lance sighed as red raised from beneath his skin and slipped down his wrist. A small, tired smile lifted his lips as red began to drip into the sink.

He then frowned as he realized how pretty the red is.

Get Keith out.

All of him.

Send him off to a better place.

He deserves better than your weak ass.

Lance furrowed his brows and made a deeper slash just under the first one. More red spilled, and did so much faster.

He didn't even flinch as someone began pounding on the door, shouting his name.

Do the same to the other side.

"Okay." Lance whispered, placing the blade in his shaking hand and tilted his unmarred wrist up. He smiled again as red began to slip from both of his wrists.

The pounding became more frantic and there were more voices shouting his name, begging him to open the door.

Another cut formed on his skin beneath the other new cut. "I'm letting you go..."

Lance drew the razor across his skin again and again, until he felt dizzy and light. The floor at his feet and the bowl of the sink were soaked in red while the pounding and shouts at the door became more desperate.

The blade slipped from his fingers as he stumbled back. The room began to spin and twist into odd shapes, blurring and fading. He didn't even register that he collapsed until all he saw were feet rushing their way towards him. Lance was rolled onto his back and propped up. He tried to open his eyes. Pidge looked down at him, but he couldn't make out what she was saying. Yelling, more like.

Lance looked around.

Allura and Hunk were panicking, tears soaking their cheeks. Shiro looked confused, angry, frustrated, panicked, and Keith was still standing at the door, eyes wide as he was frozen in spot.

Pidge slapped his cheek, shouting at him to stay awake while Allura began tightly wrapping his wrists before they picked him up to carry him to a pod. His consciousness faded in and out as he was carried until everything just stayed black.

~

Everyone was silent as Lance stumbled out of the pod. Shiro wad the one to catch Lance, and helped him slowly sit.

"Hey, buddy." Shiro whispered, hand on Lance's shoulder. "How're you feeling?"

Lance swallowed, then licked his lips. "Hungry. I'm feeling hungry."

Shiro smiled, kneeling on one knee in front of Lance. "Good thing Hunk brought a plate of goo."

Hunk handed the plate down to Shiro who then held it out for Lance. "Mm, thanks." Lance took the plate, then took a large bite. "What happened?"

"You don't remember?" Pidge asked as she sat beside him. Lance shook his head.

A scoff drew their attention over to the red paladin. "Typical." Keith muttered, making the Green paladin just bristle at him.

"Shut the fuck up, Keith!" She snapped and Lance put a hand on her shoulder.

"Hey, Pidge. Calm down, okay? Will you tell me what happened?"

Pidge breathed deeply, then took his hand in both of hers. "You... You cut yourself... You locked the doors. Coran had to go to the control room to unlock them."

"Pidge found you." Shiro murmured, rubbing Lance's shoulder. "Her and Allura were scrolling through the security feed and came across the bathrooms. Pidge saw you and recognized immediately what you were doing."

Lance looked down and bit his lip, then looked up to Pidge. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry, Pidge."

She just smiled sadly, then rested her head on his shoulder. "It's okay... I'm just glad I found you when I did."

~

Pidge rested on Lance's side as she worked on her laptop.

"How much closer do you think you are?" He asked, cheek resting atop her head. Pidge shrugged with a hum. Lance tilted his head, then set his chin in her hair to look over at Blue. "She still hasn't said anything to me. Like, I feel her comforting me, but she hasn't said anything."

"Maybe she's scared she'll say something wrong. She's probably scared you'll try to do it again." Pidge whispered, closing her laptop.

Lance hummed. "I hope that's it. Hi, Blue."

A soft, metallic purr rumbled through the air, and Lance smiled.

Pidge smiled and patted Lance's leg. "You're like a brother to me, Lance... Please don't leave me."

"I won't." Lance wrapped his arms around her, holding the smaller paladin to his chest. "I'll try not to. I can't promise anything with this war, but I can promise that I'll try."

"That's good enough for me."

~

Battles were tiring - exhausting.

Especially when they didn't have their lions with them.

Pidge probably had the least stamina.

That's probably why she was the one grabbed and had a blaster held against her head.

Her eyes were closed, but she trembled. Everyone was frozen, especially Shiro. He was stuck in place, knowing he was unable to do anything because he was the farthest from their precious little paladin.

Lance was the closest.

He breathed deeply.

Don't do it, paladin.

Lance raised his head slightly. Blue...

Please, don't, paladin!

It's Pidge, Blue. I've got to do something!

And you're my paladin! I can't let you do this.

I know my family is safe, Blue. She needs to find hers.

Don't, paladin!

Lance gripped his bayard. Blue begged Lance to stop before he even started.

The blue paladin caught the Galran's eyes and the alien pressed his blaster harder against Pidge's head. "Don't even think-"

A shot rang out, echoing through the air. The Galran blinked, eyes wide. He looked down to see his side soaking with his own blood. His eyes rolled and he fell back, losing hold on Pidge.

Everyone froze still. Everything was silent.

Until a Galran screamed and lounged forward.

Keith pivoted and parried the Galran. Pidge dodged the Galran that ran at her and Hunk lugged him over the head with his bayard. Lance dropped to one knee and pulled the trigger, dropping several Galrans as they charged. Lance looked up as a roar sounded and grinned as he saw Blue and Green headed straight for them.

I'm fine, Blue.

I'm still coming for you, fool.

Lance chuckled, dropped back and swinging his legs under a Galran that got too close. He rolled back and got to his knees and fired again. "Pidge!" She leapt up onto a rock, looking over to him. He swung his arm out, then back towards himself. Pidge nodded and bolted straight for him. Once she was beside him, he pulled her down to her knees. "We almost have them. We're winning. Are you okay?"

Pidge smiled and nodded. "I'm fine. Thanks."

Lance grinned, nudged her, but kept on blasting.

~

Hunk was the first to cheer after everyone caught their breath and the remaining Galrans retreating. Lance laughed, throwing his arms around Pidge. "Yeah!"

Pidge giggled, hugging him back. Lance grinned at Shiro as he pat his shoulder. "Thanks, Lance. Don't know what we'd do without you." Shiro ruffled Lance's hair.

"Not much." Lance sniggered.

Lance turned around to face Blue, then grunted as a single blast sounded. Lance blinked, wide eyed.

A single Galran stood, hand pressed into his abdomen. "Only success... Or death!" He sneered, falling to his knees.

The blue paladin blinked and suddenly his Lion was wailing. His brows furrowed as he head became light and his ears rang. He looked down, red soaking his abdomen and coloring his belt.

Pidge screamed as she noticed, and Shiro grabbed Lance as he began to sway. Shiro and Pidge helped Lance lay back on the ground, Pidge already sobbing. "Lance! Lance, look at me!"

He blinked rapidly, reaching over to her. "What... Happened?"

"You were shot!" Pidge cried, cradling his head in her lap as Shiro applied pressure. Lance heard Hunk shouting in the background. Maybe to Allura. Why was Hunk yelling at Allura? Was it because he was shot? Wait, he was shot?

Lance tried to lift his head to look, but Pidge forced him back down. "No! Don't- don't move!"

"But... It doesn't hurt?" He murmured, then smiled as he saw Blue. "Pretty..." He stretched an arm up to Blue, humming as the tips of his fingers brushed over her muzzle. "Hi, pretty."

Blue purred as he weakly pet her. Hello, paladin.

Lance blinked, trying to keep himself awake. "Love... You..."

I love you, too.

Lance rolled his head as Pidge sobbed again. "What's... The matter?"

"I-I love you, Lance." She wept, bending over and holding him closer. "You're like... A brother to me... I can't- I can't lose you, too..."

"I love you... Too." Lance sighed, eyes fluttering shut. "F-find... Your brother and... And your father..."

"S-stupid..." Pidge whimpered.

He smiled a best as he could. "Pidgeroni..." He breathed out, his senses fading until they were completely gone. Until he wasn't breathing anymore.

-----

3526 words

Yeah, I'm not going back to edit.