One sided! LotorXPidge
I am, of course, unable to sleep
And this became an idea
But it will be easier to write because it is technically already written
Based on an RP I've been involved deeply with for  2 years
(DRAMAticalNoiz)
So Shidge
Lotor
Graphic content
Mentions of Rape and Sex
Yada yada
Some of it has happened, some may happen, I might have added extra detail to spice up the story, idk yet where I'll take this
Can I get on with it now?

All from Lotor's persective
(Even though he is hers and not mine in the RP)

The first time I ever saw her was just after Voltron had reappeared after ten thousand years of vacancy. It was quite shocking if I'm being honest.

She was incredibly small.

However, I should not have let her fool me. She was so unbelievably fierce. She was witty and charming and quick. Light on her feet, intelligent, flexible- a perfect warrior.

I felt an indescribable sensation in my chest as I watched her fight alongside her comrades. It was light, but clutching. My heart throbbed and my head spun.

But I had to dismiss this.

She is a Paladin of Voltron. I am Prince Lotor of the Galran Empire. There couldn't have been a worse pair.

~

My Generals infilatrated the Castle-Ship several times. Each time, I had been infuriated to know that they hurt the Green Paladin. I clench my fists, and bit back my rage.

She is my enemy. I cannot just ignore that because of these feelings stirring about inside me.

~

As it turns out, the rebel scum that calls me "Looney-toons" and "Leg-o-las" is the Green Paladin's older brother.

In the middle of a fierce battle on the Balmera, I held my blade to the Yellow Paladin's throat as Matthew held his to mine.  Narti was unconscious on the floor of the Lion's cockpit, Zethrid handcuffed to a pipe as the smallest paladin cockily held her glowing Bayard up to my largest General.

Quite frankly, I had no choice but to drop my weapon and return to the castle ship with him. If I didn't, Ezor's and Axca's wounds would be the death of them.

So, I was cuffed and brought onto the castle. My generals were put into their medical pods.

Her voice was worth it, though. Her strange scent of machinery and some kind of sweet and salty treat were intoxicating. I wanted more of it. I wanted to be closer to her.

However, omce my generals healed, we were loaded onto our repaired ship and sent on our way to the nearest Galran fleet.

Before we could get far, the fleet immediately began firing at our ship.

My generals and I scrambled to our defences, but simply weren't fast enough. The Paladins got us out as swiftly as they could, returning us to the pods.

I should have gone into a pod myself, blood dripping from my head and down from a gash in my arm, but I simply couldn't stand down from this fight. I reboarded my ship and flew out to help the Paladins of Voltron.

And suddenly there was an explosion.

It rattled my ship, nearly launching me away from the control panel.

I look up and the Green lion is hovering limply among the rubble. My heart stopped in panic. I could hear the other paladins and Matthew call for her.

There was no response.

She was quickly brought back to the castle and I finished of the Galra. My rage amd adrenaline pushing me passed my limits until I had to return.

I made my way back to the castle and exited my ship. I limped to the medical bay and paused as I heard a commotion.

The door opened. Pidge was in a pod, Matthew's face red with rage. Shiro, the black paladin, took a defensive stance as the other paladins all stayed back.

"We're in the middle of a Goddamn war zone and you got her pregnant!?" Matthew snapped and abruptly swung his fist, jamming it up under Shiro's jaw.

The large paladin stumbled back.

My chest clenched tightly, throat closed. Suddenly, the pain from my wounds were dull compared to the stange agony tearing through my heart.

She's pregnant...

~

It seems the paladins are all fairly accepting and forgiving. We were allowed to stay on the ship and live among them as long as we fought alongside them.

My heart still ached for her, though she was attached to the black paladin. Her scent started to change slightly, due to her pregnancy.

I walked slowly through the castle, heading towards the bridge. I paused by the doorway as I heard Ezor talking.

"We can go get him!"

Zethrid spoke up, "yeah! We just need to confirm with Lotor!"

"Confirm what?"

All heads swivled to look at me.

Pidge peered over the back of her seat nervously, fiddling with the tablet in hand. I almost melted. I would have done anything for her.

"We... We found her father..." Ezor stood from the arm of the chair. "He's... He's on Trëd..."

I froze up, my eyes wide as I looked over to Ezor. "Trëd..? You... You do know that going there is a death sentence, right?"

Ezor and Zethrid both dropped their heads. Pidge slowly lowered hers, tears welling up in her amber eyes. "It's really okay... You don't have to go... I know it's dangerous..."

Oh, no... My heart and stomach both dropped. Before I could even think, words were coming out of my mouth. "I didn't say we weren't going."

All three perked up. Too late to go back now.

"If anyone can infiltrate the most dangerous planet in the universe to rescue one guy, it's us."

Despite my nerves screaming at me for promising to do something so stupid, my heart fluttered at the relieved and grateful look in her eyes.

~

It shouldn't have been so hard to say no. My generals and I are half dead and we haven't even found Pidge and Matthew's father.

This was the single stupidest thing I have ever done.

But seeing her face and hearing her reassuring, grateful voice seemed to make it all worth it...

Even though her father knocked us all unconscious as we landed on the castle once we did have a hold of him.

~

Luckily, Lance managed to persuade Samuel not to kill us. They took my generals and I all to the pods (once again) and on the way, he saw Shiro, carrying Pidge.

At first, Samuel didn't recognize his daughter, but then she shifted and looked up to him.

Immediately they were attached to each other. Samuel held her tight. My heart swelled at the sight.

I was able to return her father to her...

~

Samuel found out Pidge was pregnant while listening to Pidge and Matthew bicker. He had been holding Lance and Keith's child, Pike, when he heard the news. It barely took a tic before he was furious with her.

He gave Pike to her and stormed off to find Shiro.

Apparently, they had been close friends before this mishap.

Pidge quickly returned Pike to his parents to try to find the father of her unborn child before her own father, but she was too late.

Samuel reprimanded Shiro, demanding he respect his higher ranking. He told Shiro to stay away from her and Shiro listened.

It tore Pidge's heart in half. The pain on her face nearly killed me to see.

I would never do that to her... If he told me to stay away, I would hold her close... I'd tell her how much I love her.

But I wasn't the one she was with.

She ran and hid inside her lion, only allowing Keith in with her.

Keith comforted her the best he could, but she had decided she wanted to abort the child.

She was convinced that the child was the reason for Shiro getting hurt by her father and her brother. She was sure her mother would be angry with him as well.

I was devasted for her, but... Maybe...

Maybe if she went through with this, it'll tear her away from Shiro... Maybe I could...

But then Samuel broke into the hangar and told her not to abort. He embraced her and told her everything was okay. He told her that aborting the child would only make things worse.

I was relieved she wouldn't have to go through that pain, but... My fantasy was crushed.

~

All the stress caught up to her body. She hid away, no one knowing why or where. I became frantic, sending my generals to find her.

Narti found her curled up into a vent, clutching her abdomen in pain.

If Narti hadn't brought her to a pod in time, she would have lost the child.

After that freight, Shiro kept by her side, Samuel and Matthew treating her delicately.

She didn't really like it, but she understood.

~

The battles were getting to be too dangerous for Pidge. She was four months along in her pregnancy, already fairly pronounced.

The day they were dropping her off on Earth, they discovered why.

"Three!?" She shrieked, eyes wide as they all looked at the ultrasound. "There's three of them!?"

"Yup..." Allura muttered as she gestured to the screen. "Two boys and a girl..."

Pidge's face went pale, Samuel laughing beside her.

"Looks like you hit the jackpot, Katie!"

She only groaned.

And the was the last I saw of her for months.

The next time I saw her, she was wearing a beautiful white gown, walking down a makeshift aisle in her parent's back yard.

The entire ceremony, my heart was throbbing and my stomach twisted painfully. Matthew caught my eye, but I tried to shrug him off.

During the reception, Pidge was showing off her triplets. My generals all fell in love, especially Zethrid.

Hikaru, the oldest and biggest, looked just like his father. The second, Sakura, was a carbon copy of Pidge, just with raven black hair and slightly narrowed eyes. And last, but not least, little Leo. He was the perfect combination between Shiro and Pidge.

They were beautiful, perfect children... But it wasn't long after they were born that Shiro and Pidge discovered that Leo was completely deaf. Pidge was broken up... Devastated for her baby.

I couldn't help but be torn up as well...

~

Pidge returns to the castle with the triplets. There's a whole time travel story here, but I'm not in any part of that, so I'll skip and go straight to what's important.

Me.

Ha, kidding. I'm just kidding.

Anyway, she's pregnant again... Her and Shiro are as happy as ever.

Then one day, there's an explosion.

No one knows were it came from. The generals and I are watching over Lance and Keith's two sets of twins-Rosályn and Pike, Amy and Ace-and we waited until we got the all clear.

We got no all clear.

Lance was frantic as the door opened and I drew my sword, just in case.

"Lance? What happened?"

The young paladin gulped. Blood was smeared on his breastplate and on his left arm. It was clear he was just supporting someone on the way to the medbay. Immediately, my heart stopped.

"There... There was an explosion in Pidge's lab... I... Shiro was there, but... I-I can't find Pidge!"

Before I could think I was running out of the room and down the hall. I followed Lance's scent trail as he followed me. Once I found Pidge's freshest scent, I followed.

My heart raced painfully in my chest, but I just had to find her. I could smell her fear and panic.

Once I found her, a wave of relief washed over me.

She was still standing, one hand over the gaping wound in her abdomen and the other clutching a broken baby monitor.

And once again, I was set in full panic mode.

I ran to her, grabbing her to keep her balanced. She was in a daze, amber eyes glazed over.

"My... My babies..." She murmured weakly, their cries barely heard in the static the broken monitor made.

I lifted her into my arms, clutching her to my chest. "They're alright, Pidge... They're safe... You need to go to a pod..."

She groaned quietly, head lolling. "But... I need..."

"No..." I gently squeezed her. "You need to be in a pod... I'll go check on them, okay..?

Pidge slowly nodded, body steadily going more lax. I rushed her into a pod and sighed in relief as it began to work.

Staying true to my word, I went to hers and Shiro's shared room.

The triplets all screamed and writhed in the crib. My heart clenched and I carefully took all of them into my arms.

They began settle down, cries dying out to soft whimpers as I swayed.

Leo looked up to me and I swallowed thickly.

"I'm sorry, cubs... Your mother needs to heal... She'll be with you soon," I promised, sitting on the edge of the bed.

Leo's tiny fingers curled, fist raising up. I lean closer to him, sighing as he touches my cheek.

"I was too late... I love her... I love your mother so much..." Swallowing hard, looking into the smallest child's eyes, I confessed. For the first time, I spoke my feelings out loud.

The other two were already fast asleep.

"I was too late, though..." I closed my eyes and slowly lay back with all of them on my chest. "Your father already had her heart..."

Leo cooed. I know it might sound stupid, especially considering he's deaf, but it felt like he was listening to me...

I held them all to my chest, feeling them all nuzzle close to me.

The door opened, startling me. I look over, but no one was there. I sat up slowly, carefully laying the children down on the bed.

A capsule was tossed into the room and with a burst, smoke filled the room. I covered my mouth and ducked my head, reaching for my sword.

I growled deeply, taking a defensive pose. I just couldn't see my opponent.

Behind me, the children began to cry again. I spun around, trying to navigate my way back to them, but their cries began to move.

"These cubs look nothing like you, Lotor..."

The familiar voice rattled me to my core, my eyes wide and my breath catching in my throat.

"But this one seems to be defective. I didn't think you were capable of caring for a disabled child."

"Tescara..." I managed through the smoke.

The Galran chuckled, carrying the triplets away. "I'm surprised you remember me..."

"Of course I remember you... You were banished a long time ago..."

Tescara hummed. "I was... But now is my time for revenge, now that you've gone soft. I failed at killing the green paladin, but I won't fail in killing your cubs. So simply easy to crush."

My heart stopped once again, panic settling in through my body. I bolted out of the room after him. "Don't hurt them!"

Tescara spun around, the triplets screaming in one arm as he held up a gun. Before I knew it, a searing pain crashed through my chest, the force shoving me back.

Before I could register what was happening, Tescara was running away with the triplets.

I clenched my jaw and pushed through the pain to run to get some help. Bursting through the bridge doors, I accidentally startled Matthew and Allura who both had been looking down at the panel.

"Lotor!" Matthew ran over to support me.

Breathing was becoming a rather painful task.

"Tascara... He... He took them... He took the children..."

Matthew nodded, dragging me along with him. "I know, I saw on the camera feed. We need to get you to a pod, Lotor."

I shook my head gritting my teeth. "No... No, I need to get them back... He's going to kill them..."

"Lotor, he shot you. You'll die before you can even get to them. I'll get them back. I won't let Tescara hurt them."

I looked over to him, his dark eyes worried, but assuring. I slowly nodded. "Okay... Just... Matthew... He... He thinks they're mine..."

Matthew blinked, confusion contorting his expression as he activated a pod for me. "What..? Why would he think that..? Because you were with them while Katie was in here..?"

"No." I shook my head, glancing over to the woman in the pod beside mine.

The rebel stared bewildered for a moment before realization dawned over him. "You love her..."

I gulped, then hissed in pain as my chest twinged.

Matthew shook his head and hoisted me up into the pod. "I'll get them back, Lotor... And... I won't tell her..."

I nodded as the pod closed around me. "Thank you..."

~

Matthew got the children back with the help of the lions. Tescara was beheaded by Black. Leo had been cut up and Sakura was nearly crushed, but they were taken to the pods before any permanent damage could be done.

Everyone agreed Pidge wasn't going to know about that.

For the next day, she refused to leave her children. She held each of them, talking to them. Matthew and I cleaned up her lab.

We found out that Tescara had damaged Shiro's eyes and he is now in need of glasses, though he refuses to return to Earth to get them. (He gets them the next time we all return to Earth, but still hardly ever wears them.)

Then, one day, as I'm going through the castle's files, she approaches me. Her scent fills my lungs pleasantly, her voice like a strange melody to my ears.

She leans close to me as she helps me sort through the files and it takes all my will power not to pull her into me.

For a few weeks we do this. Sort through the castle's systems, work on repairs together. She says it's to thank me for protecting her children...

But the sparkle in her eyes and her soft smile let my heart hope for more.

~

"I'm so bored!" Pidge exclaimed as she burst into the lounge. Startled, I look up from my book.

"Bored?"

She nodded and fell on to the couch beside me. I set my book aside and look down at her. "Yes. Bored. The babies are asleep, I'm not tired, but even so, Shiro refuses to let me train or work on my projects because I'm pregnant..."

I hummed and tilted my head. "He... Has a fair point..."

Sighing, she rubbed her slightly pronounced belly. "I know I need to be careful... But I'm still a paladin of Voltron... And he knows how busy my mind is!"

Nodding, I stood up. She blinked and tilted her head. "What are you doing," she questioned as I offered her my hand.

"Well, we had milk shakes the other day... So how about today, you and I do a little one on one training?" I smiled down at her as she took my hand.

A grin lit up her face as she bounced to her feet. "You mean it!?" I chuckled and nodded once again. She squealed excitedly and dragged me behind her as she headed for the training deck. So bounced about happily, and I wondered how I deserved to be so close to her.

"Loser gets to pick the winner's prize!" She shouted, letting go of me to pick a weapon.

Chuckling, I stand back. "How about we do hand to hand?"

She perked up at the suggestion, dropping the fake dagger. "Ooh, I like that idea." Pidge swivled to face me and adjusted her stance.

I couldn't help but be amused. She's just so tiny.

I let myself get distracted as she lounged at me, pinning me to the wall with ease. Snapped out of my trance, I twisted and spun her, twisting her arm up behind her back. "Don't think I'll go easy on you."

She snickered. "Oh, good. I was worried you would."

Pidge dropped and swung her leg under mine, dropping me to the floor. Before I knew it, she was on top of me.

"I win!" She grinned, and I sighed, looking up at her. "So, what's my prize?"

I couldn't help but chuckle again, utterly amused with her antics. I didn't even notice my hands place themselves on her thighs. "Well... There's this planet nearby that I used to visit often as a child... I think you might like it... All the life is purely mechanics."

The twinkle in her eyes sent my heart fluttering.

~

The look of her face as I landed my ship just made the universe seem brighter. She was in complete awe as she spun around, taking in the scenery.

"It's amazing..." She murmured, squeaking as two animals curiously approached them. "Oh my God! Horses! Mechanical horses!" She gasped in amazement, body shaking in her excitement.

She touched the nose of the smaller horse, smiling as it nudged her.

They spoke back and forth.

"Do you have a name?" Pidge asked.

"Negative."

"Can I name you?"

"Affirmative."

Pidge giggled, biting her lip. "Alright... Lily... I want to name you Lily."

The horse shuddered and Lily was written across the screen on its chest. "Name accepted."

The paladin grinned, hugging Lily's head. "Lotor! You should name him!"

I hummed and looked to the larger horse before me. I reached up and stroked his nose. "Jasperline..."

The horse reacted the same was as the other, Jasperline being written across the screen.

Pidge hummed. "That's a strange name. How did you think of it?"

"Well..." I looked over to her. "Jasperline flowers are my favorite... And they can only be found near large bodies of water on this planet."

She grinned. "I love it. Both of them are named after flowers."

Humming softly, I looked back to Jasperline. "Hey... Want to go for a ride?"

That beaming expression was the only answer I needed.

~

We raced through a field, wind whipping through our hair. She shouted in delight, hands up in the air.

She was quite a sight...

Before I knew it, I had fallen right off Jasperline mid-gallop.

"Oh my God!" Pidge halted Lily and slid off, running over to me. "Lotor! Are you okay!? How many fingers am I holding up!?"

I smiled and shook my head. "One finger. I'm fine. The ground is pretty soft."

She sighed in relief, dropping her hand. "Geez... What happened..?"

"I... I guess I just lost my balance, is all..." I lied softly.

Pidge hummed and helped me back to my feet. "Well, let's just walked the rest of the way. The lake is up ahead."

Once we got to the lake, she pulled out a phone(one she had altered to make calls across galaxies) and called Shiro. She greeted him and showed him and the triplets off to Lily and Jasperline.

She was on the video call for several minutes before he had to go to feed the triplets.

I stood by the lake shore, watching the water as she walked up to me.

"Lotor..?"

I only hummed in response.

"You know... You can tell me anything, right?"

Slightly confused, I looked down to her. "Of course..."

"I just... You're hiding something from me... I can feel it..." Pidge murmured, looking down. I gulped nervously, my hands starting to shake. "I wanted to try and figure it out on my own while I was hanging out with you, but... I just can't..."

She breathed deeply, looking up at me.

"It's nothing..." I tried to sound convincing, but she moved closer.

"It's not nothing. I can tell. Lotor, something is bothering you."

"Nothing is."

"No, it's definitely something."

Before I could stop myself, I blurted, "I'm in love with you."

Her eyes widened slightly as she stared up at me, and my entire gut clenched.

It was silent between us for a moment, even as I looked away.

"Uhm... We... We should go back to the castle... Before they worry..." She whispered.

"You go ahead... I need a moment..."

Pidge nodded slowly. "Yeah... Of course..." She mounted Lily and the horse carried her back in the direction they came from.

~

"Oh my God! Lotor, I was so worried!" Pidge jumped up from her chair, panic written across her face.

"Hey, I'm okay. What's going on?"

"You were gone for over an hour and I was starting to worry you were hurt or something!"

I couldn't help but smile. I placed my hands on her shoulders. "Pidge. I'm alright..."

She sighed, dropping her head. "I just... I'm worried... Asahi has been making me worry over everything..."

"Asahi..?"

"That's what we're naming him..." Pidge placed her hands on her belly. "It's Takashi's father's name... We named Leo after my dad, so I thought we should name this baby after his father..."

"Isn't Sakura his mother's name?" Lotor asked softly.

"Yes, but still... His parents passed away years ago... It's a nice way to honor them..."

Sighing softly, I nodded and sat down. She sat beside me. "Well, we should return... We might worry everyone..."

Pidge nodded, curling up in the chair.

The cockpit was silent, but I could practically hear the cogs in her mind churning. She has such a busy mind. There's no way to tell what's on her mind or how she comes to the conclusions she does.

Like this she's about to spring on me.

"Kiss me."

That was what I expected. My arms jerked, face flushing. She yelped as my ship swerved.

"What!?"

Pidge looked back to me, then shifted in her seat. "I want to help you... I... I want to show you that I'm not worth whatever pain you're putting yourself through."

I swallowed hard, my knuckles turning white from gripping the controls so tightly. "Pidge, I... We-we can't..."

She stood up. "Why not? No one will know. They can't see into the ship. We won't tell anyone..."

"Pidge... You're not mine... You belong to Shiro."

Her jaw visibly clenched at this and I suddenly regret whatever it was I said that offended her. Her hands cupped my face.

"Wait, Pidge-"

"Shut up..."

She swooped down, her lips pressing to mine. My body froze up, hands hovering in the air.

Slowly I melted into her. My hands settled on her waist and I returned the kiss. She leaned closer and I instinctively pulled her into my lap. I wasn't thinking as my hand traveled up and into her hair.

So soft...

She pulled away, panting softly. My mind was hazy, so without thinking, I pulled her back in.

Her lips were warm and tasted like peanut butter and... Banana?

Pidge pulled back once again, biting her lip. My mind was reeling, trying to register what just happened.

"Don't... Ever tell me who I belong to... I'm not property..."

I gulped, looking up at her absolutely speechless.

She seemed to realize what happened and pulled away, standing up.

"We're almost to the castle..."

I nodded slowly, taking the controls to land as she sat back down.

We were both silent until I landed. She shifted. "I'll... See you later... I need to check on the babies..."

"Right..."

Pidge stood up and left. I was planted in my seat, biting my lip.

My mind kept playing the kiss over and over.

Later, I was sitting in the lounge, still confused.

Jasperline and Lily had followed us on. Lily stayed with Pidge and Jasperline came with me.

Jasperline lay beside me, his head in my lap.

The door to the lounge opened and Matthew walked in.

"Hey, man."

I looked up. "Hi... Shouldn't you be with Jack and Allura..?"

Jack is Matthew's five year old son with another woman on Earth before he was taken by the Galra.

Matthew hummed and sat beside him. "They're napping right now."

I nodded. "Is Allura excited about the baby..?" I asked and he smiled.

"Very excited. She has decided that if the baby is a girl, we are naming her the nickname I gave her... Lu..." He mused.

I hummed, smiling. "It's a pretty name..."

Matthew nodded. "Yeah... I like it... I think it'll be a great name for a princess," he murmured, leaning back. "So... What's got you so down..?"

Sighing, I looked away. "I shouldn't say..."

"Come on... You can tell me..."

I bit my lip, glancing to him before switching my gaze to the ceiling. "I... Pidge and I... Kissed..."

No sound came from the former rebel as he stared at me. "You... You did what..?"

"Well... Well, I... I confessed to her... She was asking me what was going on and I just blurted it out... Then she went back to my ship and I was by myself for a while... I went back, started heading back for the castle... Out of no where, she tells me to kiss her, then... She kisses me..."

Matthew breathed deeply. "So... She kissed you..." I nodded. He stood up and walked out. I sighed, thinking I just got Pidge in terrible trouble.

However, Matthew came back with two bowls in hand and held one down to me. Jasperline sniffed the bowl curiously.

I chuckled as I tool the bowl. "Ice cream?"

Matthew nodded, sitting back down. "Ice cream is the best break up food. Helps through the worst times."

We ate together in silence. Occasionally I gave Jasperline some.

After a while, Matthew left to return to Allura and Jack, leaving me and Jasperline to our silence.

~

The next day, I bumped into Shiro. I went to apologize, but then I saw his eyes narrow.

"You know..."

"You're damn right, I know." Shiro nearly slammed the plate he held down. His eyes were ablaze with fury.

I rolled my shoulders back, raising my chin. "And what are you going to do about it..?"

This probably isn't the smartest thing I've ever done or ever will do.

Shiro looked ready to explode. "Excuse me?"

"If I stay here on this ship... I'll do it again. Kiss her, touch her..." I could see the anger build up more with each word. "If left alone with her... I could take her..."

"Don't you touch her!" Shiro snarled and leapt at me.

~

After the fight, the next thing I know is I'm being shaken after falling out of the pod.

"Wakey, wakey, asshole!"

I groaned, slowly pushing myself up. "Matthew..?"

"Yup! Tell me something, bud," he demanded. Chills shot down my spine.

"What..?" I asked almost tentatively.

Matthew sneered as he leaned closer. "Did you really say you were going to rape my baby sister?"

My eyes blew wide and panic settled in my gut.

So, I did the first thing that came to my mind.

I kicked Matthew back and scrambled to my feet. I bolted out, Shiro and Matthew both hot on my tail.

Jasperline came barreling down the hallway, having sensed my panic, and blocked them off.

Matthew screamed and I clenched my jaw. Jasperline galloped after me, only halting as I open my ship. I turned to face him, panting heavily. "I need you to stay, Jasper..."

The mechanical horse snorted. "No, I must stay with you," he argued and I breathed deeply.

"No... I need you here... I need you to protect her at all costs..." I told him, biting my lip.

Jasperline tilted his head. "Who?" He asked.

"Pidge, Jasperline... I need you to protect her... Keep her safe... Please..." I practically begged as I climbed aboard my ship.

The Mecha lowered his head. "Of course... Whatever you wish..."

I smiled and nodded, then took off as fast as I could for as long as I could.

Little had I known, Pidge had a panic attack while Shiro and I were in pods, nearly miscarrying Asahi again.

When all hope was lost for Asahi, Jasperline gave his soul so the child might live.

~

Pidge went back to Earth, not knowing what happened to me or Jasperline. She didn't want to risk coming so close to losing Asahi again that she packed her things and took the triplets back to Earth in the middle of the night.

I followed closely behind the paladins, staying as undetected as I could while I helped them in their battles.

One battle, however, nearly killed us all.

Keith was nearly completely blinded and was nearly killed from a blast. He was pregnant at the time and he was sure the children had perished.

Hunk's leg had been crushed. The pod managed to repair most of the damage, but he'll have a permanent limp.

Lance had managed to protect his and Keith's children, burn scars on his right arm and up his back.

Shiro was the worst off. He was too close to the beast. The spores the beast gave off infected his lungs. It nearly tore his mechanical arm off and sliced down his face, nearly blinding him in one eye. His chest was torn up, and one of his legs was broken. He barely made it back to the ship.

I had come up from behind the beast, impaling it as the paladins retreated, inhaling the spores myself.

~

I had come to terms with my imminent death. It was just a matter of time. The infection was tearing my lungs apart and starting to kill off my other organs.

I just had to see her one more time.

So I went to her house.

There she was... Sitting on the couch, humming softly.

I came up behind her slowly and slid my hands over her shoulders, gently massaging her.

Pidge smiled and tilted her head. "You finally decided to drag yourself out of bed," she mused.

I chuckled. "I suppose you could say that..."

Startled, Pidge leapt up, her eyes wide. I gulped, suddenly afraid she was angry with me just as the others all were.

Relief filled her expression and she embraced me from over the sofa.

Sighing, I wrapped my arms around her and nuzzled her hair.

"I missed you..." She murmured, then punched my arm as she shoved me back. "How could you vanish on me like that!?"

I only smiled and rubbed my arm. "Uh... Sorry..."

She whined and threw her arms around me once again. "You jerk..."

Her scent was welcoming... I felt right at home in her arms.

"Oh!" She exclaimed and grabbed my hand as she pulled away. "Feel this!" Pidge placed my palm flat on her round abdomen, surprising me.

A thump against my hand drew my attention down. "Oh, wow... Asahi has gotten so big..." I placed my other hand on her belly and grinned.

She giggled softly and nodded.

I leaned closer, at ease. The pain inside didn't bother me when I was with her.

But the hand that clasped around my throat and pinned me to a wall sure as hell did.

"What the hell do you think you are doing here!?" Shiro snarled, eyes deadly.

I struggled to breathed, my hands grasping his arm.

"Takashi!" Pidge screamed, climbing over the sofa to grab him. "Takashi, let him go!"

"Give me one good reason I should!" He snapped, not taking his eyes off me. "I just told you why he wasn't with us!"

My eyes widened as I looked to Pidge. She knew what I said, but still embraced me. She still let me feel the child moving around inside her.

Her jaw clenched. "Takashi Shirogane, let him go! Now!"

Shiro tightened his fist before releasing me.

I gasped for air and fell to the floor.

"Lotor!" She cried and dropped to the floor beside me, placing her hand on me shoulder. "Are you okay? Can you breathe?"

I nodded slowly, despite the fact that I was wheezing terribly.

Pidge helped to my feet, but I nearly doubled back over as a violent coughing fit started, shocking both of them.

The front door opened and little Jack ran in. He paused as he saw me.

I smiled weakly and waved to him. "Hi, Jack..."

"Uh... Dad! Daddy!" Jack spun around and ran back outside.

"Oh, no..."

"Matthew is going to kill him, Taka!" Pidge stood in front of me, pleadingly looking up to her husband.

He huffed, folding his arms. "I'm going to if he doesn't."

Pidge gasped, stepping back closer to me. "No! Takashi! If he was going to hurt me, he would have already! Even if you don't trust him, I do, so I won't let you hurt him."

Shiro breathed deeply, looking over as Matthew burst through the door.

He was furious, but I was just absolutely amused with the sight. Leo was strapped to his front and Sakura to his back, Hikaru being held by Colleen.

"What in the hell are you doing here!?" Matthew snapped, pointing accusedly.

"You look like the ultimate babysitter." I didn't even think. It just came out of my mouth.

His face only got darker.

"Mom, dad, take them!" He shouted, taking Leo out of the carrier.

Samuel fumbled with Sakura and Colleen took Leo.

Matthew came storming up to me, but Pidge dove in between.

"Matthew, don't!" She held on to him.

"Oh, I'm going to!" He growled through his teeth.

She started to plead with him, but my mind started to fog over. My throat suddenly went dry and my lungs felt as if they were being set of fire.

In my coughing fit, I fell to my knees. Pidge called my name.

Shiro knelt beside me, tearing off my chest plate. He pulled down my shirt, sighing as he sees the black veins trail across my skin.

One of the side affects of the spores.

"He was there..."

Matthew's shoulders slowly slump. "He's dying... That's why you're here..."

I looked up to him trying to catch my breath.

Pidge's hands we're over her chest, tears in her eyes. "I-I'll need to re-create the cure... I only had enough for Takashi..."

Matthew straightened up, breathing deeply. "Fine... Fine. You can come on the castle... But I've got rules."

"Matthew," Pidge gasped.

He held his hand up to her. "One, you earn your stay. Help on missions."

I was surprised he gave in so easily, but I nodded. I wasn't willing to pass up my second chance.

"Rule two, you stay away from Pidge. You're not allowed to be any where near her. If you are close to her, either Shiro or I need to be there."

Shiro huffed, but I nodded.

Pidge tried to argue, but Matthew silenced her. "Do you agree?"

"Yes..."

Matthew nodded and turned away. "Go to the castle... I'm going to lay down with Allura..."

Breathing deeply, I did as asked. I tried not to look back to Pidge. If I did, I probably wouldn't be able to leave...

~

For a month, I was in absolute agony, waiting for the cure to be completed. I was in the pod for most of that time to slow the spreading of the disease.

I almost never saw Pidge until she brought the cure to Matthew.

She was so beautiful... Fair skin, freckles dotting her nose and cheeks. Her chestnut hair tumbled over her shoulders in soft waves.

Pidge wasn't even in the room for more than a minute before Matthew ushered her out so he could give me the cure.

~

For a while, I stayed mostly to myself. I'd visit Jasperline's shell.

Lance rebuilt him in Kaltenecker's space for Lily to visit him.

One day after a battle, I visited with Jasperline once again. This day, Matthew sat beside me.

The air was quiet around us for a while.

"Pidge just had Asahi."

I perked up and looked over to him. "Really?"

Matthew smiled and nodded. "Yeah. He looks a lot like Shiro's dad, so they definitely picked the right name."

Chuckling, I looked down. "That's great... I'm happy for them..."

He hummed softly. "You should come see him..."

I smiled. "Sure... Maybe later... I'd like to sit here for a few more minutes if you don't mind..."

Matthew hummed and nodded as he stood up. "Alright. I'll see you around."

"Okay..." I stared at Jasperline, sighing softly.

A weight settled in my gut as I tried not to think about her.

She's happy with another man. She has children with him.

I let it sink in that I never had a chance with her. Even if I got to her sooner, Shiro always had her heart...

As the realization dawned over me, a bright light burst from Jasperline's body and everything went black.

~

When I woke, Leo was bouncing on my chest, patting my face.

Groaning softly, I held onto him.

"You're awake," Matthew spoke up.

I looked over, sitting up. I set Leo in my lap. "What happened..?"

Shiro cradled a bundle in his arms. "You don't remember?"

"Remember..? Remember what?"

Matthew stepped over, also holding a small bundle of pink blankets. "Your soul was trapped in Jasperline's body."

My eyes widened as I look up at him. "What..?"

He nodded. "Apparently, these mechas- when empty- steal lost souls. Or souls of people who feel like they don't belong or like they have nothing left to live for."

"Oh... So... Why am I back..?"

"His soul returned to him," Matthew answered softly, "but he had your soul for a little over a week."

I looked down, then back up to Shiro. "Is that..?"

Shiro smiled slightly, looking down as a tiny fist raised from the blanket. "Yeah... This is Asahi. He was born right before your incident. Want to hold him?"

I was taken aback quite a bit, considering this man hated me. All I could do was nod.

He stepped over and lowered the baby. Carefully, I took Asahi and held him to my chest.

Stormy gray eyes looked up at me. I smiled softly down at him, chuckling as Leo pulled himself up using my arm to peer down at his baby brother. He cooed and pointed to Asahi, looking up at me.

"And let me guess..." I looked up to Matthew. "That's the princess..."

Matthew grinned, lowering her for me to see. "Yeah... Lu..."

Smiling softly, I admired her. "She looks just like Allura..." I mused.

He chuckled softly, looking over as Asahi started to fuss.

Shiro looked up from Hikaru. "Uh oh. Sounds like he's hungry. You okay until I make a bottle?" He asked.

However, before I could answer, he was already leaving the room with Hikaru waddling behind him.

Matthew laughed softly. "Well, you're stuck now."

"I guess so," I huffed, gently rocking Asahi.

Leo patted Asahi's cheek gently, cooing.

"Such a good big brother..." I smiled at Leo and he looked up at me.

"He loves Asahi."

My head snapped up at the familiar voice.

Pidge stood in the doorway, smiling fondly. "Here, I'll take him," she murmured as she walked over. I let her scoop Asahi out of my arms and watched as she sat on the edge of the bed.

She whispered softly to him, unwrapping his blanket to cover him and her chest to feed him.

"Oh, man!" Shiro groaned as he walked in. "I made him a bottle!"

Pidge giggled, adjusting her hold on Asahi. "You were too late."

Shiro sighed, then handed the bottle to Leo as he stretched, reaching for it.

Leo settled comfortably in my lap, suckling on the bottle happily.

I couldn't seem to tear my gaze away from Pidge.

Her soft, loving features made her appear as if she was glowing. Her hair was in a messy sort of a braid that was pulled over her shoulder. She peeked under the blanket, watching Asahi fondly.

A deep clearing of a throat snapped me right out of my trance. I gulped and looked down to Leo.

Matthew left with Lu and once Asahi fell asleep, Pidge fixed her clothing and stood.

"Get some rest, Lotor. I'll see you later..." She held her hand out for Leo.

Leo squeaked and took her hand, holding the bottle in his free hand. He scuttled happily after her as she left.

Shiro started to follow, then paused in the doorway.

"Lotor... I don't ever want to catch you staring at my wife like that ever again... Got it?"

Gulping, I nodded. "Yessir..."

The Black paladin hummed, taking Hikaru's hand as he left.

~

For a few weeks, I hung back. I stayed away from Pidge and her family as much as I could without seeming like I was avoiding her.

I just didn't realize my rut would hit so hard.

My rut had been suppressed for so long, and with everything going on recently, I haven't even thought about it.

Deciding to walk it off, I got up and wandered the halls. I tried to think of anything and everything else.

Then I walked by Pidge's lab.

With rut, her scent was very apparent.

I urged myself forward, mind hazing over. I was only snapped out of it several minutes later as a door opened and low growling with a threatening scent loomed from the room.

When I looked over, Lance had his shoulders squared and eyes narrowed into a glare. Keith stood worriedly behind him, seeming fairly confused.

"Just what do you think you're doing..?" He asked deeply.

I glanced down the hall I was walking and my eyes widened in realization. Quickly, I tried to spout off the best lie I could.

"I-I was... Heading to my room..."

His scent became stronger and his glare hardened. "Your room is the other way..."

Jolting, I started to step backwards. "Right... You're right... I... I'll be going now..."

Without another thought or word, I bolted back to my room.

Just ten minutes after the encounter, the alarms blared, signalling an attack.

However, I couldn't bring myself to even leave my room im fear of what I might do. I was hoping my Alpha would be repressed, but it seems the scent of another Alpha only riled my rut up more.

My mind became so hazy I couldn't think straight. My throat was dry and my body was hot with need.

I needed her...

That was all that was clear in my muddled mind.

I needed her scent. I needed her touch. I need to hear her voice.

Before I knew it, I was walking down the hall. It was almost like I couldn't control my own body anymore.

As the door to the Green Lion's hangar opened, Pidge was exiting the Lion, patting the metal as she spoke to the sentient beast.

She noticed me and I smiled as she perked up.

"Lotor! Did you see me out there!?" She asked excitedly, rushing over with her helmet in her hands. "It felt so good to be out there! I haven't actually fought in a battle since early pregnancy with the triplets!"

Chuckling, I take her helmet and set it aside. "You fought very well..." I lied as she took my arm.

She went on enthusiastically, eyes sparkling.

"You did so well," I mused, my Alpha dominating all control of my body. "I think I might just reward you."

Her expression was from enthused to puzzled to shocked all in under a second as I pulled her into a nearby room, locking it behind me.

Pidge's eyes widened and she gasped as I held her to the wall. "Lotor! What are you doing..?" Her breathed hitched and a tiny whimper escaped her mouth as my lips pressed to hers.

She began to wriggle and even kick. My Alpha did not like that.

Fighting myself, my body raised her legs up and pinned her hips.

Pidge thrashed and cried out, tears welling in her eyes. She begged me to stop, but I couldn't. I tried, but...

Her scent... Her warmth.

Growling at the barrier between us, my hand tore the fabric covering her groin. She shrieked and fought harder.

"Stop! Lotor, please stop this!"

My body pressed into hers more and my hand trailed between us. Two of my fingers slid into her slick, hot core. She jolted, jaw clenched. Tears fell down her face.

I nuzzled into her neck, breathing in her scent.

She trembled in my hold, whimpering softly.

"S-stop... P-please..."

"I can't..." My body tingled in anticipation. I licked my lips, lungs filled with her scent.

A soft sob stumbled passed her lips. "L-Lotor..."

I took my fingers out, shuddering excitedly. "Pidge... You smell and feel... Wonderful..."

She weakly pushed against my chest, then yelped at a sudden slamming against the door.

I looked up from her neck as the sound continued. The door burst in and I shielded Pidge with my body as she cried out.

Low growling sounded from the smoke and two figures appeared in the doorway.

I growled back, narrowing my eyes as Keith stepped forward in his full Galran form, Lance backing him.

Slowly, I set Pidge down and stepped in front of her. "She's mine..."

"No she is not!" Keith snapped, tail fluffed up and ears lain back. His eyes flashed and he lunged at me.

I lashed out at him, flinging him across the room. He roared and pounced on top of me.

Lance dashed to Pidge, wrapping his jacket around her.

My eyes widened as her scent was covered by his. "No-!" I gasped, grunting as I was forced to the ground.

Ignoring my efforts, Lance gently scooped Pidge up in his arms and held her tightly to his chest as he ran out.

Roaring, I flipped around and slammed Keith into the wall. During his mometary daze, I bolted out.

"Give her back!"

Lance clutched Pidge in one arm and grabbed his bayard with his freed hand. He pivoted mid-stride as his Bayard shifted and immediately pulled the trigger.

I hit the ground hard, a searing pain bursting in my leg.

Keith rammed into me, knocking the breath from my lungs. He roared, hand clasped around my throat.

Gasping for breath, I held onto his arm.

"Keith! Keith, get the generals! Now!" Matthew's voice came closer, but was still blurred.

Keith's fist tightened and I thought for sure I was going to die.

"Keith!" Matthew snapped.

The red paladin roared in my face before finally releasing me.

Matthew grabbed onto me as Keith got up, then dragged me into a nearby room, locking me inside.

As I caught my breath, I heard more voices muffled by the door and nearly drowned out by the ringing in my ears.

Panting, I tried to pull myself up. A few minutes after being thrown in, the door opens.

Acxa stood in front of the other generals, jaw and fists clenched. "Zethrid."

Zethrid stepped forward as the others moved out of her way.

Without much effort, she lifted me up over her shoulder. As she carried me out, I saw the others. Shiro had Pidge in his grasp, expression showing his devastation. She was curled up into him, face buried in his neck.

I tried to apologize, but my throat was still constricted.

"Have a nice life, Lotor," Zethrid ground out and tossed me right into a pod. The door closed and the pod launched out of the hangar.

I pulled myself up using the pilot's seat and watched as the castle disappeared into a wormhole.

My head spun and I fell to the floor, everything going dark.

~

As I woke, I heard soft voices on either side of me.

When I groaned, they hurried over.

"Lotor, you're awake..."

"Where... Am I..?"

"You're on the planet Xor." One of the people explained as they helped me sit up.

I look around, noticing they all wore the same robe and mask. "You... You're all Haggar's druids. What do you want with me..?"

One druid walked over from the other side of the room, holding up some kind of box.

An uneasy feeling settled in my gut. "What is that..?"

"It's unimportant..." The druid muttered, standing beside me. "What is important is why you were vanished from the Paladin's ship..."

Frowning, I lowered my head. "I... I hurt her..."

A druid behind me spoke up, "he's in rut, ma'am."

The druid in front of me grinned, slowly opening the box. "Good... He'll be able to tear them apart...."

A horible stench wafted from the box, but whatever it was was potent enough to distort my mind and numb my body...

~

I don't know what was in that box... But I really couldn't control myself anymore. I had no control of what I said and no way to stop myself from what I was doing...

I stole Pidge from her home and took her far away... Somewhere we wouldn't be detected.

I took her from her children and her husband.

And now I'm hurting her...

She's struggling beneath me as I take off her clothing. She hits and shoves my chest, trying to kick at me.

Frustrated, my body pins her wrists above her head and presses my hips into hers.

Pidge begged me to stop, tears streaking her cheeks. She squirmed and whimpered.

Two of my fingers slid into her, pumping and stretching.

I just wanted this to stop. I wanted it over.

She jerked and cried out.

My fingers pulled out and I shimmied my pants down enough to pull out my rut-hardened member.

Without missing a beat, I was deep inside her.

Pidge gasped and clenched her jaw.

She whimpered and sobbed as I moved, muttering words I'd never say to her.

I even marked her.

The entire time and the following two days, she screamed and cried in pain. At one point, she had found something in the room and stabbed her abdomen.

Luckily I came in, but unluckily, I still had no control... I only hurt her more.

At the end of two days, the ship I was on was boarded. I left the room Pidge was locked in to investigate, rut and whatever it was controlling me making me incredibly territorial.

I had ordered my soldiers to find out what was going on. I stayed on the bridge, waiting for answers.

Not long after the invasion, Matthew stepped onto the bridge, fire raging in his eyes as he aimed his gun at me.

Lance stepped in behind him, Pidge in his arms, wrapped in a blanket, Samuel behind him.

The blue paladin's Alpha immediately surfaced as he saw me, his rut making him angrier and more protective than ever. He set Pidge down as gently as possible, despite her whimpers and pleas.

He roared and leapt at me, not bothering with his bayard as he landed hit after hit.

When his teeth latched onto my throat, almost like a switch, everything shut off.

~

When I came to, my body was sore and heavy... As I opened my eyes, two blurry figures stood not too far from me.

Slowly, I sat on the edge of the bed, ears ringing terribly. My palm pressed to my forehead and I groaned lowly.

A voice spoke up, but was not coherent to me.

My vision finally cleared up and I was able to make out the two people.

My heart rate suddenly spiked and I scrambled backwards, mouth drying out.

Lance and Keith stood there, Keith with a worried expression and Lance with a firm one.

Keith shifted to sort of block Lance and I realized why he was worried. Not for me, but for Lance. Lance looked ready to snap my neck and throw my remains into the void.

Without a word, Lance turned around and walked out, Keith following behind.

Gulping, I look to my surroundings. The circular ceiling above me was white and so was the floor. The bed stood out and there was a seperate room the looked like a bathroom.

Glancing to the sides, I notice there are more walls... They're just made of thick, reinforced glass.

~

Hunk brought me food and drink three times a day, but I couldn't bring myself to eat until the third day.

There was very little conversation between us. However, Hunk was kind. He didn't come off as demeaning or angry. He was just sad.

For a long time, this was the routine.

Then Matthew walked in, holding something in his hand.

Confused, I quickly scuffled to my feet and backed up.

Furious, Matthew slammed what looked like a picture against the wall. "Come look at it." He demanded, narrowing his eyes.

I gulped and cautiously made my way over.

I realized what exactly the picture was and my heart pounded, breath catching in my throat.

"You did this to her." Matthew ground out, shoving the ultrasound picture through the slot Hunk pushes the trays through.

Shaking, I took the picture, staring at it. "She... She's..."

"Pregnant... With the child you forced on her..."

I gulped and stumbled back, pressing my palm into my forehead, my heart racing. Tears gathered in my eyes. "No... No... I-I didn't... I didn't want this..."

"Oh, really?" Matthew snarled, hands balling into fists. "What did you think would happen when you rape her for two days!?"

I flinched, dropping onto the bed, head in my hands. "I didn't... I-I wouldn't hurt her... Never... I never wanted..." Sobbing, I dropped the ultrasound picture. "I-I couldn't stop it... They... They did something to me... I never... Never wanted..."

Matthew watched, his shoulders slowly drooping. He sighed softly. "They're going to abort it..."

Nodding, I lifted the picture back up. "Yeah... Okay... Good... That's good..."

The ex-rebel sighed and straightened up. "Hunk will be by soon with your food..." He turned around and walked out slowly.

~

Months went by. It felt like a life time. There were some days I couldn't eat, some days all I wanted to do was eat.

Hunk brought by an empty journal, gave me books to read, a treadmill to exersize on, puzzles, crosswords- just all kinds of things to keep me busy and I guess entertained. As time went on, Hunk and I would have real conversations and talked about old times that really didn't seem very long ago.

One day, as I read, Matthew walked up to my cell door and knocked to get my attention.

Perking up, I set my book aside and looked over to him, pausing at the bundle gathered in his arms. "Matthew..?" I stood up and slowly made my way over.

"This is Abby Lilian Shirogane..." Matthew murmured, looking down to the cooing infant.

I gulped and licked my lips. "Oh... Give them my congratulations..."

He hummed and nodded, adjusting the blanket.

My eyes widened and my throat closed.

There was a pale purple Altean marking under her left eye and her silky hair was shockingly white.

"She's... She..." I couldn't form the words, pressing my palms flat to the glass.

Matthew nodded, swaying. "Pidge couldn't do it... Shiro was all for it, but... Pidge couldn't bring herself to go through with it..." My eyes stung with tears and I bit my lip. "I'm proud of her for being so strong, but..." He sighed. "She wanted you to see Abby. I don't entirely agree, but it's what she wanted... She's the one who just gave birth, there's not a whole lot I can do to go against her."

I swallowed hard, shaking slightly. "I..."

"Talk to her... This is your only chance..."

My heart throbbed, head spinning.

"Abby... What a beautiful name... For a beautiful girl..." I gulped, biting my lip. "You... You be good for your mom..."

Her grayish-blue eyes looked up at me causing my chest to tighten. "I'm sorry, Abby... I... You'll hear... About how I hurt your mother... And... Abby... I just... Want you to know... I love you... I already love you so much... And I love your mother... But Shiro will be a better father for you. You'll love him... Well, you probably already do. You've known him for a while now..."

I breathed deeply. "Matthew... May I..?"

Matthew shook his head. "No."

"Right... I should have known..." I lowered my head.

Abby gurgled, curling up in Matthew's arms. I smiled softly as I watched her. She yawned, rubbing her face with a tiny fist.

When I didn't continue speaking, Matthew stepped back and turned around.

"W-wait!" I gasped, heart clenching and eyes widening. "Wait, Matthew! Don't- don't take her! Please!" I hit the glass, breathing harder as Matthew walked away. "No! No, please! Please, just a few more minutes! Matthew! Matthew!"

~

I didn't bother to eat the next several times Hunk came with a tray of food. He tried to talk, but I just wasn't up to it.

I couldn't read, couldn't do a puzzle. I couldn't get myself onto the treadmill.

"Lotor."

"I'm not hungry..." I muttered to my visitor.

"You're starving yourself, Lotor."

The door opened and I flinched. "You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself. You might be locked in here, but that doesn't mean you deserve to die."

I growled, looking up at Matthew. "I do. I do deserve to die."

"Well, that's too damn bad," Matthew grumbled and dropped something in my lap.

Surprised, I looked down and picked up the picture.

It was Abby. She was laying on her back, a stuffed lion beside her. The pink onesie she had on had lions dotting it all over.

I gulped and bit my lip.

"You have to live... For her. If she's anything like you or Pidge, she's going to want to know you. She'll be smart. She'll figure out early on that Shiro isn't her father." Matthew folded his arms as he spoke.

"I... I didn't think..."

"That'd you'd get a picture of her?" Matthew asked and sighed. "Believe me, I didn't either... It was Pidge's and Allura's idea..."

I nodded, touching the picture gently. "She's beautiful... Looks just like Pidge..."

Matthew hummed. "Yeah... She does... She's been quiet since she was born. She loves to cuddle with Shiro."

My brows furrowed. "But... I thought Shiro..?"

"You thought Shiro would have hated her? No way." Matthew smiled softly. "Shiro fell in love with her. The first time she kicked was when he was singing to Pidge. She only kicked whenever Shiro would talk or sing to her. She's definitely a daddy's girl..."

I gulped and tried to smile. "Good... That's good... He'll be the father she needs... She'll probably want him more than she'd want me... Once she knows what I did... To bring her into this universe..."

Matthew sighed again and turned around. "Stop trying to kill yourself, Lotor... It's not going to make anything better... But... If you try to live for her, maybe everything would be worth it..." He closed the door and locked it. "By the way, I'm totally jealous of your setup."

I chuckled, looking around. "Yeah... It's pretty neat... Hunk made that treadmill just for me..."

"Hunk is incredibly generous... He's a better man than I am..."

I turned to looked at him. "You're a great man, too..."

Matthew shrugged. "I suppose... Bye, Lotor..."

"Bye..."

~

For over two years, Matthew came most days, giving me pictures or showing me videos of Abby. Allura got pregnant again and they finally got married soon after they found out. Hunk and Shay finally also got married, only having a daughter, Daisy.

Months after Matthew got married, Hunk walked in with another tray of food. "Good morning."

I smiled and stood. "Morning."

Hunk opened the door and walked in, setting the tray down on the table. "Sorry, it's only left overs. Shay and I were at my mother's pretty late."

Chuckling, I sat down. "It's fine." I start to eat as he sits across from me.

"Oh, guess what?"

"Hm?"

"Allura had Cooper last night."

I paused, looking up at him. "What..? For real?"

Hunk grinned. "Yup. He's a ridiculously chunky baby. Oh, I think I have a picture." Hunk shifted to pull his phone out of his pocket. After a few swipes and taps, he held the phone for me to see.

I smiled wide. "He is chunky. He looks just like Matthew with Altea markings."

The yellow paladin laughed softly and nodded. "Yeah... He's a cute little guy..."

"So I'm guessing he's not coming by?"

Hunk shook his head. "Probably not. I can bring you a picture of Abby."

I leaned back and shrugged. "It's alright. You don't have to. I already have quite the collection. She's not even three years old just yet."

"Alright," Hunk mused and stood, taking the tray once I was done. "I should go. Shay's been worried about everything since she's been pregnant with Callan."

"Okay. I'll see you later then."

He smiled and walked out, shutting and locking the door. "See ya..."

~

I was laying in my bed, having just finished a rather suspenseful book. As I thought about all the ways it could have ended better, I heard the door on the other end of the catwalk open.

I sat up, expecting Matthew.

However, it was the person I least expected to be here.

Pidge was walking up, eyes focused on Leo. Leo was perched on her hip, clutching his lion plush to his chest.

I shot to my feet, heart pounding painfully in my chest. "P-Pidge... What... What are you doing here..?"

She breathed deeply and slowly slid a picture through the slot. "Matthew... Was hurt... And you haven't gotten a picture for two days, so..."

Shocked back, my eyes widened more. "He's hurt!? What happened!?"

Pidge flinched as I raised my voice, gripping onto Leo tighter. "We were on a mission... He was impaled and Zethrid was shot. Zethrid just got out of the pod, but the amount of damage caused to Matt's heart and lungs, he... He needs to be in for three weeks..."

"Oh... Are... Are you okay..?" I asked as softly as I could. She looked up at me, slightly confused. "You said 'we'... You were there..."

She sniffed and rubbed her nose, looking back down as Leo signed something to her. She nodded and kissed his head. "I was on the castle with Hunk... I wasn't anwhere near the ship they were on..."

I sighed in relief, slouching. "Good... I'm glad you were safe..."

Pidge nodded slowly, backing up. She murmured softly to Leo as she left.

After a moment, I walked over to the door. I slowly took the picture.

Abby was standing up, grinning as she held up her favorite lion plush.

I teared up, grip tight on the edges of the photo.

~

Pidge came every day for three weeks with a picture. She always had one of her children with her. Usually Leo, sometimes Sakura. Once, she brought Asahi. Man, that was one cranky kid.

But this time... She came in with Abby...

Abby's face was tucked into Pidge's neck. She latched onto her mother, humming happily.

"Here..." Pidge slid another picture through the slot.

My jaw clenched. "Why..?"

Startled, Pidge looked over to me. "What..?"

"Why do you keep coming..? Why keep giving me pictures..?" I asked.

She gulped, licking her lip. "I just... We... We used to be friends... And I know... I know you're not a bad guy... You deserve these pictures..." She muttered softly, shifting nervously.

"I don't deserve them," I snapped before I could think. She flinched, gripping Abby tightly. "I am a bad guy and I don't deserve this! Stop coming! Stop forcing yourself to be here! I can see how scared you are, so go!"

Pidge whimpered, tears welling in her eyes. She quickly pivoted and rushed out.

Abby peeked over Pidge's shoulder to me. "Mommy, who he..?"

Pidge muttered softly back as the door closed behind them.

My teeth grit together. Slowly, I made my way over to the picture and picked it up.

Shiro was holding Abby, her head on his shoulder. She was napping peacefully, drooling on Shiro's shirt.

~

Matthew came in the next day, opening my cell door without a word.

I grinned and stood. "You're finally out! Thank God!"

He looked... Disappointed.

"Shiro told me Pidge was coming here... Giving you new pictures..."

Slowly, I frowned. "You... You don't look happy..."

He glared at me. "I'm not. I'm proud as hell that she was able to face you, but you... You yelled at her..? You told her to leave?"

I gulped, looking down. "I was just..."

"Pushing her away or trying to scare her more?"

"Matthew... I just... She was terrified of me... Everytime she came, she could barely look at me... I just didn't want her to continue forcing herself to face me..." I explained, slowly sitting on the edge of my bed.

The ex-rebel sighed and sat beside me. "Lotor... That's not for you to decide... She wanted to face her fears because she knows who you really are... She remembers how close you two were and how much she trusted you."

I nodded. "Yeah... But, now that you're out, she won't come back... Will she..?"

Matthew shook his head. "Probably not... She just wants to forget it... Put it behind her and move on..."

"That's for the best..."

~

Matthew and I had several more heart to hearts. During one, he explained to me what cancer was and that some people donated their hair to create wigs for patients who lose their hair during treatments.

I decided to get my hair cut. Matthew took his beautiful little girl, Lu, and I to get both of our hair cut and he treated us to dinner at Applebee's(Lu's choice).

It was nice to get out... A change of scenery was good for me. Fresh air, sound of citizens bustling about, animals chittering...

Matthew explained to me some days later that he wanted me to earn my keep... Help out on missions with him and Hunk. I liked that idea, but only if Pidge was comfortable with it. If she wasn't comfortable, I wouldn't leave my cell.

However, he told me everyone but Allura and Shiro were alright with me helping on missions.

Well, I expected Shiro. Honestly, hearing that Allura shot the idea down was surprising. She seemed more understanding... But I guess she wasn't as understanding as I thought.

Matthew was trying very hard for me and I appreciated it. He is a good man and I didn't deserve the kindness he's been showing me.

Before I knew it, the paladins were needed out in space once more. The castle took off and Matthew dragged me out of my cell.

We talked as we walked around the castle. He told me the Blade of Marmora came across something that they needed Voltron's help for.

He lead me to the lounge, where we had no idea Pidge and Allura were inside. The door opened and Pidge bounced right off me. I quickly caught her without thinking. The flash of fear in her eyes and the way she gripped Abby tightly sent me back. She looked down, hands shaking slightly.

Allura pulled her back, comforting her, Matthew grabbing my arm.

"I'm so sorry, I-I had no idea-"

"I need to go back," I cut him off, already making my way back to the cell.

"Wh-what?" Matthew sputtered, following close behind.

"I shouldn't have come out... I swore I would never... Never lay another hand on her."

Matthew jolted slightly, taken aback. "But... That was my fault. I should have checked to make sure they were there or somewhere else."

I turned to look at him, my eyes burning with tears. "Matthew, please... Just... Keep me locked up... Stop... Stop being so nice to me. I don't deserve this..."

He slowly frowned. "That's the issue... You do deserve this. You're a good guy. You've been on our side. You protected us- hell, you rescued my father from a planet you could have died on. You let in to your darkness once... You made one mistake. A big mistake, but it was still just a mistake... You regret it, you've been paying the price for it. You saying you don't deserve it proves to me that you do deserve it..."

I lowered my head and sighed. "Please bring me back to my cell..."

Matthew watched me for a moment, then his shoulders dropped and he nodded.

We went back to my cell and he shut the door. He stood still for a moment, then slowly left.

I lay back on the bed, staring at the ceiling where I had more than a dozen pictures of Abby.

Such a beautiful baby girl... I didn't deserve her. I didn't deserve to get to know her or be near her. I don't want to taint her...

But I suppose it's too late... I am her biological father...

Then again, I guess she'll never know that...

A loud bang shook the ship, startling me out of bed. The alarms began to ring, red flashing.

"Oh no..." I ran to the door, then paused. It was cracked open. I pushed it open more, eyes wide.

Without another thought, I ran out. I hurried up to the dorm levels, stopping as I saw Galran soldiers run by.

"Abby!" Pidge lunged onto a soldier, driving her Bayard through his chest plate.

I looked ahead and sure enough, Abby was being passed ahead, screaming and struggling.

Growling, I pounced into the fray, attacking each soldier I could.

Pidge fought through, reaching out to Abby when a soldier grabbed her hand.

Furious, I lunged and snapped his arm in half. "Don't touch her!"

The small paladin grabbed my arm, tears in her eyes. "Abby! They're taking Abby!"

I looked down at her, then ahead. I didn't want to leave her alone with all these soldiers...

But Abby is still a toddler and has no way to defend herself.

I took after after the soldiers that had Abby.

She wailed and screamed for her mother, thrashing in the arms of a Galran soldier.

"Abby!" I called after her, panic fueling me.

The soldiers shut and locked the door to the hanger, separating us.

"No!" I slammed into the door, pounding and kicking. I couldn't override the lock system becaude the hangar doors were opening.

Tears burned in my eyes, chest clenched tight as the ship took off the Abby on it. Screaming, I stumbled into the hangar once the door finally opened. "No! No, no!"

Rushing to the windows, I barely had enough time to see them vanish into the depths of space.

"What happened!?"

I spun around, Matthew standing across the hangar in complete puzzlement.

"They... They took her... They just..." Shaking, I stepped back from the window, looking back out at the stars and nearby planetary system.

My heart stopped when I heard a familiar, broken voice.

"They took her..?"

I had to force myself to turn around. Pidge trembled in the doorway, tears already streaking her cheeks. "P-Pidge..." I stuttered, taking a few hesitant steps over.

She wailed and fell to her knees in anguish. My gut wrenched and I rushed over. I knelt in front of her, hesitant to hold her.

The youngest paladin threw her arms around me, sobbing into my chest. I froze up as she gripped onto me tightly, slowly wrapping my arms around her waist.

Matthew gulped. "Where... Where is Shiro..?"

"H-he was hit in our room..." Pidge managed to whimper out, not lifting her head from me.

Her brother nodded slowly and left the hangar.

I swayed slowly with her, gripping her tighter and tighter.

Pidge's cries slowly died out and she rested her body against mine. I buried my nose in her soft hair.

"Why would they take her..?"

"I... I don't know..."

Our voices were barely whispers as we held on to each other.

"This is my fault..." Her fingers curled tighter into my shirt. "I should have stayed with her... I shouldn't habe left her by herself..."

I squeezed her tightly. "Don't talk like that, Pidge... This isn't your fault... None of us could have known..." I swayed with her, fingers tangling in her hair as I tried to reassure her. "I just wish I had been a little faster..."

She shook her head. "You did your best... I know you did..." Pidge whispered softly and looked up at me.

Her honey colored eyes melted my heart. Even after all this time, she still has the ability to bring me to my most vulnerable state.

Pidge dropped her head back onto my chest. We stayed there on the floor for several minutes.

My nose pressed into her hair once again and I breathed deeply. The familiar scent was different... Only slightly, but it was also not a strange scent...

She's pregnant again...

Matthew came back sometime later. "Shiro is in a pod... He got a mild concussion, so he'll be out shortly..."

I nodded. "And the others..?" He shook his head and gave a loose gesture towards his sister. He doesn't want to stress her more. Something bad must have happened to one of them.

Pidge breathed deeply and pulled away. "I... I need to check on my kids..." She whispered.

I stood with her, supporting her. "Want me to come with..?"

She slowly shook her head no. "I need to be alone... Just for a minute..."

Matthew and I stayed back, watching as she dragged herself away from the hangar.

"Kolivan is here... He said that the Galra cut off our signal so they could attack us and so we wouldn't be able to reach the Blade..." Matthew murmured softly.

I gulped, looking down. "Matthew... They did this because she's my daughter..."

The ex-rebel blinked and looked up to me. "What? What's that mean?" He asked, shifting his weight.

"They took her because she is my daughter and I am the son of Zarkon," I explained further. "The Galra... Possibly even just Zarkon want her to raise her to be a leader just like him. Merciless... Fearsome... Ruthless..."

Matthew gulped and bit his lip. "But... Won't she want to know who her mother is..?"

"They'd tell her lies if she ever asked. A druid would make false memorabilia to convince her." I rubbed my face as I spoke.

"It doesn't matter what they want her for." Matthew placed a hand on my shoulder. "We'll take her back... She'll be back home before she can even remember this ever happened..."

I nodded, wanting to believe him.

He sighed. "I'm going to go check thw cameras with Allura... See how they got in. Will you search the castle..? Make sure there's no stragglers?"

"Yeah," I murmured, running my fingers through my hair. He patted my back, and we parted ways.

I walked the halls slowly, looking up at the familiar walls.

Memories flooded me. Memories of when I first joined team Voltron. Memories of late nights with Pidge oblivious to my feelings. Memories of the first time I ever met the fierce little paladin that stole my heart that night...

I've loved her since I laid eyes on her.

But she's only ever had eyes for the leader of Voltron. He had her heart long before I even heard Voltron was back.

I turn the corner and freeze, seeing Pidge limp in the arms of a Galran soldier.

The soldiers look up and pause.

"Lotor..? We thought you were dead..?" One spoke up.

Growling and bearing my fangs, I snap back, "obviously not, you insects! Leave her be!"

Their eyes widened and they scrambled, but not to do as I demanded of them. One tossed Pidge onto their shoulder and bolted, the others behind him.

I tore after them through the hallways. I managed to tackle one, but the others used that to their advantage.

Pinned to the wall, I was rendered helpless as they forced a needle into my neck and injected some fluid. Quickly, my consciousness faded.

I drifted in and out of this state. At one point i heard Matthew fighting to retrieve Pidge and I, but he simply had no back up... No help. He was outnumbered, out gunned...

He never had a chance in hell of rescuing us from being taken.

~

The next thing I know, I'm in a dark cell. I hear a child whimpering and their mother shushing them.

I lift my head. God, it felt loose. Sort of like it would just roll off my shoulders.

Pidge was curled up in a corner of the cell, Abby held tightly to her chest.

My voice came out hoarse as I spoke. "Pidge..?"

She gasped and looked up quickly. "Lotor..." Pidge carefully adjusted Abby and inched closer to me.

Grunting and groaning with effort, I pushed myself up to sit. "Are... Are you okay..? Is she okay..?"

Pidge nodded, settling close to me. I hesitated for a moment, then slowly wrapped my arms around them. She quickly nuzzled closer, curling into me and seeking comfort.

I buried my nose in her soft hair. Pidge trembled in my hold, Abby finally quieting down now that she had her mother...

This is... My first time holding my own daughter... I mean, I'm not really holding her, but... She's in my arms... Pidge is using my body as well as her own to protect Abby as much as she could.

This is a trust I never thought I could have with Pidge again... I held her tighter, swaying with them.

I tried whispering comforting phrases. I tried to say things would be alright when we both knew they weren't.

Voltron is torn apart. My ship is inoperable, so my generals can't help. Our only hope was Matthew and Hunk... Maybe Kolivan and the Blade.

But I doubted they would find us before something bad happened.

And something bad will happen...

~

I don't know how much time passed, but Pidge was starting to drift off in my arms.

Then, of course, the cell door opened. Both Pidge and I snapped to attention. This startled Abby as well and she clung tighter to Pidge, whimpering.

"You, Green Paladin, come with us," they ordered, high and mighty bastards.

I growled at them, standing up to guard Pidge. The paladin gasped and tried to bring me back down to her. "N-no, Lotor!"

I wanted to keep her in my arms, but I need to protect her from whatever it was they wanted her for.

"You will not take her..."

The Galran before me dared to raise his chin. "Guards," he muttered indifferently. Without much other warning, three guards were on top of me, tackling me to the ground.

Of course they would take advantage of the opportunity to attack me. I fought back as much as I could, but I had no advantages.

Then Abby started to scream.

I look over to see a soldier tearing Abby out of Pidge's grasp. The paladin fought and screamed, tears running down her face.

Abby wailed, reaching for her mother.

I saw red. Tearing through the guards and their weapons, I stole Abby right back from the soldier who took her. Growling, I held her to my chest and backed to the wall.

She clung tightly to me, sobbing and shaking.

Pidge thrashed and screamed in the arms of another soldier.

"ABBY!" She cried.

Before I could even step forward, the guards were out and the door was shut.

I was shaking, eyes wide. Abby cried into my shoulder, holding me tightly.

"M-mommy," she cried repeatedly.

Slowly I began to sway with her, rubbing her back. "S-shh... It... It'll be okay... Your... Your daddy will come and get us..." I tried to comfort her, but tears stung my own eyes. My chest felt tight and my stomach twisted itself in knots.

Abby sniffles, nuzzling me. "I w-wan' mommy a-an' daddy..."

"I know, princess..." I buried my nose in her snowy white hair, closing my eyes. "I know you do..."

God, Abby smelled just like her mother... I wish things had been different... I wish I had joined Voltron sooner and gotten Pidge to fall in love with me instead of Shiro. Maybe Abby would have been planned. Maybe Pidge and I would have had other kids before Abby.

We could be married... Living on a planet... Maybe Earth... Just... Somewhere away from this war... Somewhere we can be happy and not worry about my parent's wrath... Their destruction...

I'd keep her and our family out of danger... Unlike Shiro... Letting her come back out here after nearly dying... Nearly losing their children... Getting kidnapped...

My head snapped up as the door opened again. My grip on Abby tightened instinctively as more guards walked in. I growled deeply, stepping back. "Stay away..."

"Or what, your majesty," one chuckled mockingly. "Take him."

Guards came out from behind him, stalking towards us. I growled louder, trying to shield Abby from them.

One grabbed her and she started to shriek, gripping me with all she had.

I tried desperately to hold on, but at least four guards had my arms and pried me away from her.

"No! No, no! Don't take her!" I thrashed as she screamed and wailed, struggling as much ad she could. "Abby! Don't hurt her! I swear on Diabazaal, I'll kill you! I swear it!"

Screaming and fighting the whole way, my hands were bound behind my back and I was dragged towards a loud crowd. The guard holding Abby followed, so I at least could see her. At least I could make sure he wasn't hurting her.

Doors burst open and the sound of a raving crowd washed over me like a tidal wave, freezing me to my core. I look around to see the arena. The stadium was full of onlookers. The cheers were nearly deafening. At least Zarkon and Haggar weren't by the throne.

I was forced to my knees near the middle of the arena, a blaster hitting the back of my head. A shock of pain split through my skull, causing my entire body to tense up.

As the cheers died down, I could hear muffled sobbing in front of me. I lift my head to see her and my heart nearly stops.

Pidge's wrists are tied to two posts on either side of her, one rag tied to gag her, the other to blindfold her. Her clothes were torn slightly, and blood...

The blood... It wasn't the amount that sickened me. It was the place... The jeans she wore had been soaked through with it.

She lost her baby...

Pidge jumped and snapped her head up as Abby cried out for her. She tugged on her binds, then screamed as she was shocked from behind.

"Don't!" I snapped, tears already making their way down my face.

A soldier walked around Pidge as she trembled and sobbed. His smirk pissed me off. He puffed his chest out proudly and faced a section of the crowd. "Here, today, we have some special items up for auction!" He shouted out way too happily.

The crowd cheered, ready to bid.

This gripped my chest tighter than a fighting match would have. At least then, I could have let Pidge kill me so she could have a chance escape with Abby.

Now, she could be separated from Abby... From me... With no way to find her...

"First, we have the Green Paladin of Voltron! Mate to not only the Black Paladin, Leader of Voltron, but also to Lotor! Our traitor Prince!" The crowd sneered and growled, booing pathetically at me while some jeered excitedly about their potentical prizes.

"Second, we have the prince! And lastly, their beloved, beautiful little princess." He sneered, gesturing to Abby as she cried. He walked over to her, my blood absolutely boiling at the predatory look he had in his eyes.

The soldier placed his hand on her cheek. "You would go for a pretty GAC, little one... Too bad Haggar wants you to herself."

And that tipped me over the edge. Just the mention of that witch tips my off, but knowing she wants her hands on my daughter...

I snapped my binds and charged right through a guard.

The soldier spun away, the guard holding Abby freezing up. Abby shrieked and covered her head.

I snatched her away and grabbed the guard's neck. He gasped and thrashed as I lifted him up. However, once I slammed his head into the ground, he stopped moving.

I clutched Abby tightly, growling at the guards as they surrounded me with their prods in their hands. Abby cried into my chest as I held her.

Pidge then screamed, stealing my attention away from the guards.

The soldier speaking to the crowd was right behind her, prod in one hand, his other on her waist. She sobbed and shook, blindfold and gag both soaked.

I gulped, watching as his eyes raked up and down her body. "Lotor... Answer me this... How did you get such a beautiful specimen to mate with you..? Oh, yes, that's right. You stole her from her family and ravaged her for two quintents. You held her down and beat her like a beast... You forced that cub into her womb... You made your mark on her neck as she fought you... While her cubs with the Black Paladin cried for her back home... Needing their mother..." His chin rested on her shoulder as he spoke, his free hand trailing from her waist to her lower abdomen.

Pidge whimpered and tried to squirm away.

I gulped, gripping Abby.

He looked over to me. "How could you..? How could you tear her family apart for your own selfish desires..? How could you steal a mother away from her young cubs?" He dropped the prod so he could place his other hand on her. I twitched. He's mocking me in every way possible... Getting into my head...

Then he pulled out a knife and my mouth ran dry. He trailed it lightly over her skin. She trembled. "Put the cub down, Lotor... I'd hate to see the Paladin's pretty blood splatter all over the sand..."

No... An ultimatum... Abby or Pidge.

"Give the cub to the guard and get on your knees..." He demanded.

Pidge shook her head, crying and pleading through the gag for me to keep a hold of Abby.

I know Pidge would rather die than hand Abby over to the Galra... But Abby can't loose her mother...

Abby shrieked and tried to keep her grip on me as I handed her to the guard that approached me. The soldier had the smuggest smirk on his face as I was cuffed and brought to my knees.

Abby and Pidge both cried as Abby was carried out of the arena.

I felt numb as I stared down at the sand in front of me. I just handed my daughter over... I'm cuffed again... And Pidge is still tied up... Still no signs of the rest of team Voltron... They must have been far more damaged than I thought... Meaning Pidge might die... Abby might die...

And it'll be my fault... I did this...

The soldier called out to the crowd, riling them back up, but I wasn't listening anymore.

I just wanted to die...

They started to bid on Pidge. It was too late. Shiro wouldn't get here in time to save her. Matthew can't help fix my mistake. I just... Wanted to apologize to them... One last time...

"Oh, how I wish I could have you to myself."

My head snapped back up. The soldier was holding Pidge again, pressing his body to hers. He grabbed her chin and tilted her head, biting his lip. "Lotor..? Is this your mark? Huh... Pretty pathetic."

He took his knife out and my heart pounded against my ribcage. He trailed the tip of the blade over her throat, causing her to freeze up and sob. She begged him to stop, but he licked his lips.

"Lotor... I'll tell ya... If I had her for those two days... She'd have marks all over her delicious body..." I began to shake, a growl rising up from my chest. "In fact, if I had her, she would have never been found by the other paladins or her rebel brother. She'd still be with me... Probably carrying my second child by now. Marks littering her body... She'd be my little toy... My favorite toy..." He buried his nose in her hair and breathed deeply.

My fists clenched.

He chuckled, pressing the tip of his knife to the scar of my mark on her neck. "Thirty-six million GAC going once!" He shouted and started dragging the knife along her skin, drawing blood. "Twice!" She wailed in pain and the link connecting my cuffs snapped.

I lunged and tackled the soldier, roaring in his face as I had pinned him to the ground. He gagged and thrashed, grabbing my wrist. I tightened my grip, snarling at him. He looked up at me, shaking and straining. "S-sold..!"

The sound of rope snapping caught me off guard. I twist around and see a large half-breed lifting Pidge up and tossing her over his shoulder as he began to walk towards an exit.

"No!" I gasped and began to chase after when two guards threw themselves on top of me.

Snarling and growling, I fought with my bear hands, charging at the doors with one on my back.

Suddenly, the arena shook and a roar sounded from above before the roof burst open to reveal the Black and Green Lions. Matthew and Shiro both came careening down, shooting their blasters and the crowd that had previously been cheering were screaming in fear and bolting towards exits.

"Lotor!" Matthew ran up to me as I pried the guard off myself. Shiro followed close behind, swiveling around as he searched for Pidge.

"Where is she!? She was just in here! We saw tge footage!" Shiro spat out quickly once he was within arms-length.

Panting heavily, I pointed to the exit. "Th-there. She's through there."

Matthew nodded. "Then let's go!"

We dashed through the doors and down the hallway, quickly catching up to the beast that had taken her.

She was handed to two guards and carried into a cell just before we were close enough. The half-breed noticed us and charged.

Matthew tossed me my sword(which I was pleasantly surprised with. I didn't think he would have held onto it for so long.), and we charged right back.

With battle cries, we swung and shot. With a swift slash from my sword, the beast was down without another breath.

"There." Matthew panted heavily and walked over to the small panel by the cell doors.

Shiro raised his prosthetic.

"Be careful," I warned, chest heaving. "We only saw two go in there, but there might be more."

Matthew nodded, then he and Shiro paused. Both seemed to sigh with relief which confused me, but also relieved me.

The others must have found Abby.

Matthew then nodded to Shiro and the older man scanned his hand.

The doors opened and immediately we were shot at. We dodged as well as we could and fought back. We barreled through the half-a-dozen soldiers and guards before we reached Pidge.

She trembled in the corner, wrists and ankles bound. I gulped, shoulders dropping at the sight of her.

"Oh my God, Katie..." Shiro dropped his blaster as he ran to her, kneeling in front of her.

Matthew sighed and spoke into his comm as Shiro cut the ties around her ankles.

Finally, we can just go home... She can be safe... I took a step forward and turned to Matthew. He looked up to me and smiled.

I couldn't help but smile back and chuckle softly. "You know, you look like shi-"

BAM!

~

I couldn't feel anything... It was like... I was floating... But not out in space. It wasn't like I was just hovering within the great expansion of nothing...

It felt like... I was in water. Like I was floating in cold water. Not freezing, just cold.

I couldn't see anything though. Couldn't taste.

But, if I listened close enough, there were times I could hear voices...

They muddled together... Sometimes they were far off, sometimes I could hear them as if they were right beside me... Some sounded familiar... But I could never make out any words... It was all so muffled...

Is this what death is like..? If it is... I don't like it...

It's lonely, dark, and cold... I can't move. I can't talk, see, feel...

I can't tell time, but it feels like an eternity since the arena...

"Oh, princess..." A voice spoke.

It was clear. Clearer than crystal and it was the only voice I wanted to hear.

"I... I don't really know how to explain it so you can understand it... But he is your real daddy..."

"But... But what about daddy?" Another voice chimed in. Small and high-pitched.

Abby and Pidge.

Pidge sighed. "He... He's also your daddy... He helped me raise you... But... I wouldn't have had you without your biological daddy... That's him right there... He's where you get your white hair from... And your cute little purple birthmark."

Abby giggled.

I finally felt warm as I listened.

She's telling Abby I'm her real father... I never would have thought she'd ever tell Abby while she was still so little...

"But... Why is he in the pod? Shouldn't he be out here to play with me?" Abby asked ever so innocently.

Pidge breathed deeply. "Abby... Oh, princess, I... I wish... But, he can't..."

"Oh... Can he come out later?"

"No, Abby... He can't... He can't ever come out of there..."

And I'm cold again. I wish I could hold them again... But... I guess I am dead... And... Am I haunting them? Is that why I can hear them? Because I'm a ghost?

Ghosts are real?

Damn.

But... Even if I was a ghost... Shouldn't I be able to see her? Be near her?

So what the hell am I?

Pidge sighed softly once Abby had fallen asleep. "Lotor... I wish you could have spent more time with her..." Me too... "She's great... Very sweet... She loves to talk about the prince who saved her..." She does, huh? "Blame that on Matt... He told her a story about how you loved me and gave me her, then sacrificed yourself to save me... Making you look like quite the charming, heroic prince..."

I actually chuckled. I think that's the first time I've actually made sound in this watery void.

But, leave it to Matthew to exaggerate... Though... I'm surprised it was about me... And not the ugly me... Not the me that hurt her or put her in that situation... The me that tried so hard to save them...

She sighed once again and I heard her footsteps retreat. No... Don't go... Please...

I don't want to be alone in this void again...

My eyes opened.

Suddenly I was grounded. Pulled out of that strange dimension and back home. I looked to the castle around me. The lights were dim, signaling it was in rest mode.

I looked down the hallway and there she was.

Her hair had been cut so it bounced gently on her shoulders as she walked. Abby's head rested on one of her shoulders, eyes closed and mouth open slightly as she drooled. A fond smile curled my lips.

I took a step to follow, then paused as something caught my eye.

I turned and... It wad me.

Not my reflection- me. Asleep. In a pod.

No...

I looked down at my hand. I glowed a soft blue color, small parts of my hand glitching.

"I'm dead..."

Me heart wasn't beating, I wasn't breathing, I couldn't feel the draft of air around me... That is my body in front of me...

I really am a Goddamn ghost.

No, not a ghost. I'm data. My soul and memories had been downloaded by the castle as I died in the pod. Like what they did with Alfor before he died. Except... Apparently, I'm free to roam the castle... I think. I might be stuck in this hall, for all I know. Which, that would kind of suck. This is a rather depressing hallway.

I gulp... I think... And then try to concentrate. If I am data downloaded by the castle, then that means I'm part of the castle, I should be able to kinda just... Poof where I want to be. Right?

Yeah, that sounds right.

I want to be with Pidge. If she's still on the castle.

My eyes close and I feel this rush that lasts no more than a split second. I open my eyes and there she is... Sitting in one of the paladin chairs on the bridge, holding Abby.

She's alone other than Abby...

"Pidge..." I didn't have time to stop myself. I didn't know I was going to speak until I already spoke.

Pidge froze, slowly turning her head to face me. She gasped and jumped to her feet.

I almost cried.

She was so beautiful... Her short hair with her windswept bangs framing her round, freckled face. Her big, doe eyes, short stature... Abby resting on her and...

Her belly...

She's pregnant...

"L-... Lotor..?" She breathed out quietly as she approached me. "Lotor..? Is that you..?"

"I... I think so..." I looked down to my hands. "I'm... Pretty sure I'm supposed to be dead, though..."

She huffed, a weak smile tugging on her lips as she teared up. "I must be dreaming..."

"If you are, than I don't know how I am conscious."

Pidge sniffled and shuffled closer. "The... The castle must have downloaded your memories... What's the last thing you remember..?"

I thought back. "Uh... We... Just broke into the cell they put you in... Defeated all the guards... Shiro goes to you, I turned to Matthew, I start to say something and then..."

She swallowed hard, looking down. "You were shot..."

"Oh... That's what happened... How? I thought they were all dead..." I murmured softly.

Pidge shook her head. "No... One was still alive... He grabbed his blaster, fired his shot... Then died..."

I gulped again... Again, I think I did. I don't know if I really can in this form.

"Well... I see the baby made it... Good, I was scared they didn't..."

Her frown deepened and tears welled up in her eyes. Uh oh... "No... No, they didn't..." Pidge bit her lip and placed a hand on her belly. "I lost them that day... It's been almost a year since then, Lotor..."

A year... Oh, God... A year...

"But, uh... Twins, this time..."

I tried to smile. I hope I was smiling. "Wow, twins... That's great, Pidge..."

She hummed and nodded. "Yeah... It's like... God is giving them back to me... With another baby..."

Chuckling softly, I looked to the floor. "Yeah... I guess..." She's explained her God to me before... He sounds uninvolved with humanity, so I doubt it was him giving her the baby back, but I didn't want to take her smile away.

Who knows..? Maybe her God really is looking out for her... Trying to lift her spirits after the horrible things she went through... It's all the Gods' faults for giving their people agency... Not just hers. Mine. Altean Gods... Arusian Gods... Even though, technically, Arusians viewed Voltron as their God. I wonder if their real God is pissed off about that.

Oh, God, I'm off track.

"I should go back... Lay Abby down..."

I nodded, returning my gaze to her. "Yeah... Don't want to be the dead guy keeping your family waiting."

She slowly frowned again, averting her eyes.

Oh, fuck me... I'm an idiot... I breathed deeply. "Sorry... Sorry, I shouldn't have said that..."

Pidge shook her head. "No, it's okay. You're the dead one, you can make all the... The dead guy jokes you want..." I couldn't say anything else. I was afraid if I did, I'd just make her cry. "Uhm... I'll bring Abby back tomorrow. She'd love to really meet you and spend time with you... She wants to get to know you."

I tried to smile again. Please, dear God, let me be smiling. I can't tell. I wish I could so I wouldn't be worrying about something so stupid. "Yeah... I'd like that... If you and Shiro are alright with that..."

She nodded, smiling slightly. I relaxed and sighed. Wait... Can I sigh if I don't breathe? I guess I can. "I'll see you, tomorrow, Pidge..."

"See ya," she whispered, smiling wider.

Pidge left the ship.

~

I kind of wandered the rest of the day... And all night... And all of the next morning. I tried to figure myself out. Tried to see what I could do.

I wished I could get tired because I got hella bored hella fast... Matthew used to say that a lot... Damn, I needed to not hang around him so much. Too much of an influence.

"Lotor?"

"Woto!"

And my spirits are instantly lifted.

Can I say that if I technically am a spirit?

Without another thought, I was on the bridge in front of Pidge and Abby.

Abby squealed and scurried over, waving something.

I grin and sweep her up, then pause.

I'm holding her. I'm actually holding her up in the air. Abby giggled in delight.

I look to Pidge and she's just as shocked as I am.

Despite Abby not truly knowing me, I held her to my chest and nuzzled into her hair. I swayed slowly with her, clutching her tightly. "Oh, Abby... Little princess..."

Pidge bit her lip, hands on her chest. "She... She made something in my lab back home that she wanted to show you..."

"You did?" I cleared my throat and straightened up.

Abby nodded and lifted the thing in her hand. "Yup! It a ship!"

"A ship!" I gasp in amazement and she lights up. "Whoa! Can it fly?"

She shook her head and idly messed with what I assumed was a wing. "No," she muttered, "not yet. I tryin' though..."

God, she's so cute... I listen to her prattle on about her ship, relaxing.

Pidge watched Abby fondly. This child definitely got her smarts, wits, and creative mind from her mother. Already building space ships.

Slowly I frown as I realized I wasn't there for her... I didn't help raise her. I wasn't there for her first word or step. I didn't see her first tooth peeking through her gums. Hell, I wasn't even there for her first project...

I kiss her head softly and she grins wide up at me.

"Do I call you daddy?" She suddenly asked, startling both Pidge and I.

"Oh... Yesterday, I was... Trying to explain that you're her dad..." Pidge confessed, an embarrassed blush coloring her cheeks.

Well, I heard that. It's what woke me up.

I chuckled, shrugging. "If you want to call me daddy, then you can... If your mother is alright with it..."

Abby looked back to Pidge, eyes sparkling. Her mother smiles softly and she nodded. "He is your dad, baby. You decide what you call him."

My little girl squealed and threw her arms around me, holding tight.

I closed my eyes and swayed with her.

Never... Never in another ten thousand years after what I had done to Pidge did I think I would ever hold my baby girl like this... I never thought she would even know who I was until she was older...

Abby and I played for hours that day. We played until she fell asleep right in my arms.

Pidge carefully took her, a fond smile on her face. "We should be going. I gotta make dinner before Taka takes it upon himself..."

I chuckled and nodded. "Of course... When... When do you think you'll return..?"

She hummed and swayed, rubbing Abby's back. "I can try to come tomorrow..." She murmured softly with a small nod.

"Okay..."

Pidge smiled and left once again... Leaving me alone.

~

Matthew was to next to visit me... To make sure I really was here like his sister had told him.

Hunk came next, then one after the other.

Over the next few months, Pidge or Shiro or Matthew would bring Abby.

Pidge finally had the twins. Emma and Gabriel.

She had many complications during her labor, but they all made it. Pidge was set on bedrest for the next several weeks.

So, for weeks I didn't get to see her.

Shiro or Matthew would bring Abby to visit me on the castle. We'd play until she fell asleep from exhaustion or until her mother wanted her home.

I loved her... I loved Abby with my entire soul... Which I think was pretty much all I had...

But Abby was just like her mother. Snarky, prideful, witty, strong, stubborn, kind and gentle. Abby wanted things to go her way all the time, but she also wanted to please others. She did inherit some of Shiro's traits as well, though. She was quiet and compassionate. She was eager to listen and learn and try to come to the best solution rather than the fastest. Abby was so patient, like Shiro.

Finally Pidge was well enough to return to the castle. When she came with Abby, she brought the twins as well. Emma was very small and looked just like her mother. Gabriel was plump and looked more like his father.

"Beautiful, aren't they?" Pidge asked softly as she swayed. I nodded, holding Emma to my chest and watching Abby mess with one of her own inventions.

"Yeah... Emma is so quiet," I commented, returning my gaze to the infant.

Pidge hummed. "Yeah... She is... We... The doctor think she may be deaf... Like Leo..." She murmured, lowering her head.

I look over to her, frowning softly. "How..? Two of your children deaf..?"

"It's a trait inherited from Takashi's side of the family..."

I sigh. "I'm so sorry, Pidge," I apologize, but she shakes her head.

"Don't... We know how to handle it, now..." She smiled.

I only nodded and I didn't press the subject.

~

Abby is an absolute angel... I just can't believe she's really my daughter... She's really Zarkon's granddaughter...

She grew up so quickly. Building her own little inventions in her mother's lab back behind their house.

Oh, before I forget. Something that Pidge built in her lab- or I suppose is currently building- are two more sentient Lions of Voltron. A purple and a gray. Abby was talking about them constantly.

One day, Kolivan called. They can't fight the Galra on their own. They need Voltron.

So, when Pidge brought Abby, she left us to prepare hers and Shiro's bedroom.

Abby and I played for about an hour before she fell asleep, curled into my chest. I carried her to Pidge's room.

"Oh, here," Pidge pulled out a play pen once she saw us and quickly set it up. She gently took Abby and laid her down. "I didn't expect her to konk out so quickly."

I chuckled softly. "Yeah. She went out like a light," I whispered, not wanting to wake her up.

Pidge smiled softly at me and went back to making the bed. I helped her out, though she probably didn't need it.

"So, where's Shiro..?" I ask, looking over to her.

"Oh, he's finishing up some stuff at the Garrison and the kids are with my parents." She patted down her shirt.

I sigh softly as I watch her. "You're so beautiful..."

She blinked and looked up at me, then smiled. "Thank you..."

I was in sort of a daze as I stared at Pidge. I didn't realize I stepped closer, but I cupped her face and leaned down to kiss her.

Pidge froze up for just a tic, then pushed me away, eyes wide.

And it sank in what I had just done. She stepped back, covering her lips. She was rattled... Brought back to terrible memories... Memories of me.

"Oh... Oh. God..." I gulped, shaking my head. "I'm sorry... I-I'm so sorry..."

She gulped, eyes flicking to look anywhere but me.

"I-I... I'm sorry... I'm so, so sorry..." Without thinking, I just disappeared. I transported to somewhere else into the castle.

My projected self was glitching with all the emotions coursing through me. I guess I glitched instead of trembled.

"What... What did I just do..?"

~

For seven years I kept away. I couldn't leave the castle, so I just stayed within its walls... The network that I now am a part of.

Abby looked for me... All the time... It was heartbreaking... Especially since one of Lance and Keith's boys was pining after her.

Little Max. One of the five.

She blew him off in search of me. Only ever played with Lavender, one of the Lions Pidge had created that named her as his paladin... Barely spoke to Pidge and Shiro. I don't know why she'd do this, but I couldn't stop her.

So, I started showing up for Abby when she was alone. I started to play with her and teach her... Work with her on her school work.

I became careless. I stopped paying attention to the cameras while I was with her.

So, of course, one day after seven long years, Pidge caught me.

She stayed in the doorway, watching Abby and I.

We were just talking about the goings on in her life as she stroked the hologram of Lavender. Lavender purred, resting his head in her lap.

Abby had stood, declaring she needed to go to dinner and turned. She froze as she spotted her mother, as did I.

Pidge folded her arms over her chest and shifted her weight. Abby bowed her head and rushed out.

I gulped and stood. "Pidge..."

The green paladin breathed deeply and sighed. "Lotor... You're seeing my daughter behind my back..? For how long..?"

"Only a few months," I answered honestly, looking to the floor.

Pidge shook her head. "Lotor... You shouldn't have vanished... She was just getting to know you... So what, you made a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes." She began to walk closer as she spoke.

I looked up at her. "What..?"

"You made a mistake..." Pidge repeated in a softer tone. "It's no reason to vanish for seven years... You took away time you could have spent with your daughter... She searched for you all those years, ignored Shiro and I... Ignored Max... The poor boy is still heartbroken about it..." She tilted her head slightly, then sighed again. "Just... Don't disappear again."

"Really..?" I muttered in disbelief. She was actually going to let me keep hanging out with Abby?

The green paladin nodded and turned back around. "Really... But... If you ever disappear again, I will delete your programming so fast you won't have time to realize it's happening," she threatened in a rather soft voice as she walked out.

I gulped, blinking as I watched her leave. She emits such a powerful presence despite her small stature and soft features.

Sighing, I lean back against the desk. "Oh, Pidge..."

~

It took a long time, but...

Max finally got Abby's attention. She had to be told he was pining after her, but still.

The young alpha was kind, generous and incredibly patient. Plus, he had an astounding amout of restraint. All in all... He's the kind of Alpha all Alpha's should aspire to be, even if he is still so young.

Now all they did was hang out with each other. Going on little dates here and there.

I just wish Abby wouldn't grow up so fast. I wasn't involved in raising her at all. My only daughter.

"What are you thinking about?"

I looked up to see Pidge walking over, holding Blossom- one of Keith and Lance's cats.

"Oh, Pidge." I straightened up.

Clearing my throat, I looked back down. "Just... Abby... Regretting that I stayed away for seven years of her life..." She sighed, but I continued. "I'm a coward..."

Pidge scoffed amd set the feline down. "You are not a coward. You just... There are just some things you don't know how to express and things you don't know how to handle. That's okay."

The green paladin took my hand and gently squeezed. I wished I could feel her warmth rather than just a slight pressure.

~

We hung out more. Talked like we used to. She was comfortable with me. Enough to let me wrap my arms around her and rest my head on hers as she'd work at her desk.

It amazed me still that she's forgiven me... After everything I had done, she found it in herself to forgive me and allow me to have a relationship with my daughter.

"Oh."

I opened my eyes, humming. "What? There a bug?"

Pidge shook her head. "No. An update. Well, more like an addition to your system. You know how I reprogramed your system to be tangible so you can help us fight? Well, the castle added onto that system by allowing you to take form of anyone you have a file on."

"Really?" I looked at her laptop screen, reading the data. "I didn't think that was possible."

She huffed in amusement. "Honestly, I can't believe I didn't think about it. You're a sentient hologram. You could project whatever you wanted someone to see or feel."

Humming, I stepped back. I thought for a moment, then focused on changing my appearance.

Pidge turned and looked at me then squeaked and giggled. "Oh my God!"

I grinned and looked down at my hands, then posed. "My name is Lance. All I know is showing off and fucking Keith!"

The littlest paladin burst into laughter, holding her stomach.

I paused to think, then changed again.

"Well, hello~!" Pidge crooned playfully and I looked in the mirror.

I chuckled, nearly taken about by how deep that was. As well as looking like Shiro, I sounded like him as well. I looked in a mirror and flexed in more of a joking manner than anything, really.

Pidge giggled uncontrollably, rocking in her chair. "I can't tell if you're checking yourself out, or if you're checking my husband out!"

"Maybe both." I threw a smirk her way which caused a louder fit of laughter.

We both looked up as the door opened.

"Hey, Katie, I just got back from the Garrison and I-" Shiro froze as he looked up from his tablet. "Uh..."

"Oh!" Pidge stood and flittered over to him gleefully. A pang of jealousy hit my chest. "It's just Lotor. We're trying out his new, updated function! Cool, huh?"

The black paladin blinked. "Uh... Yeah. Sure."

I quickly changed back to my normal appearance, no longer at ease as I had been moments before.

Shiro looked down to his wife and a tender smile. The smile she returned was much brighter. She beamed, grabbing onto his arm as she pressed into him.

It felt as if a fist had grabbed my gut and twisted.

They spoke softly to each other as they left, Pidge only waving as a goodbye.

I sighed and looked down. I should really stop letting myself stick by her so much...

~

A few years down the line and I just couldn't pull myself away from her...

Even though her and Shiro had another child and are as close as ever.

They had a little girl. Dawn Serenity. She was just a mini Shiro. Daddy's girl, too. So attached to him. She'd only ever allow her mother to hold her when she needed to eat or if Shiro was not around.

She started walking fairly early. I think she was eight months old when she took her first steps.

And then Abby... Abby had her first heat and is currently pregnant with hers and Max's first child.

And right now, the paladins are getting ready to return to space. They were finally able to return to Earth, their home for a short time. Kolivan reached out just the night before saying that they finally have a plan to end the Galran Empire once and for all.

So, here I am with Pidge, helping her check the castle systems. Shiro had things to wrap up at the Garrison so she had to bring Dawn with her. Dawn currently lay in a crib in Pidge and Shiro's bedroom on the castle-ship, Pidge and I on the castle's bridge.

Her eyes were lidded, discoloration beneath them from lack of sleep. Every few moments she'd stop her task and yawn. I tried to get her to rest but she dismissed me.

She actually jumped as the baby monitor went off as Dawn began to cry.

Pidge groaned and rubbed her face, so I placed my hand on her shoulder. "I'll go get her." I kissed her cheek as her shoulders slumped.

"Thank you," she whispered in tired relief.

I left the bridge and made my way to Pidge's bedroom. As I entered the room, I shifted into Shiro to be able to calm Dawn down.

Dawn stood in the crib and reached over to railing the moment she spotted me. "Daddy! Daddy!" The ten-month-old cried.

"Oh, beautiful Dawn," I murmured and picked her up. She instantly nuzzled into my chest, curling up tightly. "Just wanted attention, hm?"

The infant cooed, finally calm as I held her. We rocked back and forth slowly.

I sang softly to her, rubbing her back. I nearly stopped as I spotted myself in the mirror.

I envied the man I appeared to be. I wished to be him.

He's gotten the only thing I've ever wanted.

Pidge.

Katherine Holt.

The Green Paladin.

She's the light of my life... But she deserves so much more than me...

Shiro is perfect for her. He's kind and patient and understanding. He's gentle with her. He cares for her the way she needs to be and deserves to be.

I could never... Even if I was still actually alive, be that for her...

I froze up as I felt the slight pressures of small arms wrapping around my middle and a nose nuzzling into my back.

"Takashi..." Pidge whispered, holding onto me. "Did Lotor leave? Was he able to calm her down..?"

She must be so tired she forgot I can appear like him. "Pidge, I-"

"Takashi, I'm scared..."

I paused, looking down. She began to shake. I turned and carefully adjusted Dawn to cup Pidge's face in one hand. She leaned into my touch, tears in her eyes. "Scared about what..?"

"This last mission... It's... It's going to be so hard... We... We could die... I-I could lose you..."

I sigh softly and pull her in to an embrace as gently as I can. I sway with her slowly, kissing her head. "Katie..."

She whimpered softly, gripping onto me tightly.

"Hold on..." I release her and turn to carefully lay Dawn back down. Luckily, she was still asleep.

I turned back and her arms were right back around my waist. I hold her close.

We swayed slowly, my fingers tangled in her hair.

Pidge trembled, but she was quiet.

She tilted her head back, looking up at me. I looked into her eyes, gently brushing a stray lock of hair out of her face.

The little paladin stood on her toes, placing her hands on my face. Her lips pressed to mine.

I paused, eyes wide. She pressed into me and I just melted into her. With my hands on her hips, I held her against myself, returning her kiss.

I wanted her warmth. I needed it.

She's what I need.

Her fingers curled into my shirt.

She can't tell the difference between me and her husband because of her own programming.

"W-wait..." I pull away from her. This is wrong. So wrong. I shouldn't be doing this. I've already hurt her so much.

Pidge shook her head, pulling me back in. "Please... Please hold me..."

I have to resist... My hands trailed around her waist. I'm not her husband... Her mate... Her pressure alone against my body was intoxicating.

My resistance faded the longer she held me. I was wrapped around her finger.

She's my life. My light.

Pidge tugged on me, pulling me away from the crib. She led me to the bathroom and I shut the door.

I grabbed her thighs and lifted her onto the counter.

With the break in the kiss, she pulled off her shirt, and then mine. She sees and feel whatever she wants because I want her to feel and see what she wants... What she needs...

Clothes were shed, our bodies pressed closely together.

How I needed to feel her heat... Her softness... I wanted to feel her breath against my skin. I need her scent to flood my senses.

But, the best I could do was make her feel the things I could only wish for.

Soft gasps and breathy moans escaped her parted lips as we moved together. I could feel the pressure of her walls tight around me, but not their warmth.

"Katherine," I whispered into her neck, kissing her skin as tenderly as I could.

"Taka..." Pidge gripped my shoulders, back arched. Her eyes fluttered, cheeks flushed red. Her caramel hair tumbled in waves over her freckled shoulders, amber eyes warm and rousing.

I just wanted to hold her forever. Her voice was spurring me on. She hold onto me so tightly I could swear I could feel her... Really feel her and not just the pressure.

I closed my eyes, taking all of her in. Her voice, her touch... Her body around me...

She's the only thing that matters to me... I don't want to see her cry anymore...

We both panted after release... Still in each other's arms.

I held her tightly to myself, feeling the pressure of her small body.

This is all I ever wanted. I just wanted her in my arms. I just wanted her to hold onto me.

Eventually we finally let go. We got dressed and went to bed. She curled up in my arms, nuzzled into my chest.

Pidge fell asleep slowly as I stared at the ceiling, rubbing her waist.

She meant everything to me...

But me... I'm the one who kidnapped her... Raped her... Betrayed her trust... In hurting her, I hurt her husband and her children. I betrayed the trust of my only friends. The only people who cared about me...

I gazed down to her sleeping form, wishing...

Wishing...

But...

I never had a chance...

-----

21168 words

Oh dear sweet fucking Lord. Took me fucking long enough.

I started this Months ago

And I am so sorry!

AND THIS IS SO FUCKING LONG! MY LONGEST ONESHOT!

I thought it was going to be super easy because it was pretty much already written out and I had all the dialogue and basic points and the plot, all I had to do was come up with the details, but NO.

My brain said FUCK YOU.

Any way, just thought I'd let y'all know that I'm not dead, just slow and dumb as fuck.

I love y'all and I'm so thankful for your support! Hopefully I can update more.

But between work and school and finding a place to live, it's pretty rough.

I'll try my hardest, though! I hope you enjoyed!