Shidge
Couple years in the future
(Please don't kill me)

"

Shiro, I can get up myself." Katie giggled as Shiro helped her to her feet. "I'm just pregnant. I'm not severely injured."

Shiro huffed with a smile. "You may as well be, Pidge. You can barely walk by yourself."

Katie stuck her tongue out up at him as she held onto him for balance. If she wasn't pregnant, he would have let her go and watched her fall. "I know the baby is due any day now, but that doesn't mean I'll let you baby me."

The black paladin chuckled. "Oh, my darling wife. Stubborn as always."

"You love it."

"If I didn't I probably wouldn't have asked you to marry me." He mused and kissed her cheek. "Come on. Everyone's waiting."

~

Katie blow out slowly, one hand on the wall for balance and the other pressing onto her stomach. "Ow, ow... Takashi..."

Shiro looked up from the alien he was speaking to, then rushed to Katie. "What is it? What's wrong?"

She whined and leaned into Shiro. "It-it hurts..." Shiro nodded and rubbed her back as she gripped his arms. "Ooowww...."

The alien they were speaking with turned to Allura. "She's with child." The princess responded, and the alien's eyes lit up excitedly.

"She could be going into labor!" The alien piped up, and Katie groaned. "We should take the green paladin to our birthing facility just down the path."

Shiro and Allura exchanged a quick glance, then Shiro looked down at his wife. "Come on, Katie. I know it's not the castle or Earth, but we've got to lay you down." She just nodded and clenched her teeth.

~

Shiro and Coran stayed with Katie as the others returned to their lions and the castle. They all had flown in their lions(including Katie, despite Shiro's protests).

Shiro held Katie's hand as she screamed. He didn't wince since she had a firm grip on his prosthetic rather than his flesh hand, but her screaming was enough to make him hurt. He reached over with his flesh hand and pet her hair out of her face. "You're doing great, Katie..." He encouraged, offering a smile as she looked up at him through watery amber eyes. "We'll hold our baby soon..."

~

Shiro kept his eyes on her face the entire time, whispering encouragments and trying to comfort her. His head was spinning with panic. What if something went wrong? What if it's stillborn? What if it's deformed?

All thoughts flushed from his head as one of the aliens assisting rushed to the other side of the room with a bundle and Katie's screams died to heavy pants. Shiro was confused, ears ringing. Was it over? With a short, pained cry from Katie, he guessed not. What was that alien carrying to the other side of the room?

A few more minutes of head pounding and Katie screaming, another alien held up another bundle. This one cried and squirmed.

Shiro helped Katie sit up against the cushions as the alien carried over the bundle and wiped it's face. Katie reached for the bundle and the alien happily handed it over. Katie cradled the bundle and smiled as she leaned on Shiro. He held his arm under hers, worried she'd be too weak to hold the baby herself. She peaked under the blanket and giggled. "A boy." She whispered.

The aliens rushed out to where Coran was, and spoke to him quietly. 

"Can I name him?" She asked, voice trembling. Shiro nodded and kissed her head. "Hikaru Samuel... Shirogane..."

Shiro smiled as he looked down at his son. "I love it, Katie... I love both of you..."

Katie hummed, her body relaxing and breathing slowing. She sighed softly, her hold on Hikaru loose.

"Katie?" He took Hikaru as the baby began to cry again. "Katie!?" He pulled her back to lay against the pillow. Her skin was paler than it should be and her eyes were closed. "Help! I need help!"

In the distance, he could hear the Green lion roaring in grief.

Coran and the aliens rushed in. Shiro looked up, tears in his eyes. "She's not breathing!"

~

Hikaru screamed and cried, his blanket already kicked to the other side of the crib. Shiro sat on the edge of his bed, hands in his hair and elbows on his legs. His right leg bounced as he stared at the floor, tears dripping from his eyes.

That first bundle was another child... A stillborn... Then Katie... It became too much for her body... She held on just long enough to hold Hikaru.

Shiro sobbed, Hikaru's screams getting louder.

Someone must have gotten fed up because soon his door opened and Hikaru settled. Shiro heard the near-silent sounds of Hikaru suckling on a bottle.

"Shiro... Will you hold Hikaru?" It was Lance.

Lance stood in front of Shiro, cradling Hikaru and holding a bottle for the boy.

"I can't..." Shiro choked. "He'll die..."

"No he won't." Lance muttered. "He won't die, Shiro. Just the opposite. Hikaru will live."

Shiro didn't respond. Lance sighed. "I'll take him to my room for tonight, okay? Try and get some sleep, man." Then he left with Hikaru.

The black paladin sat in the silence, then shot to his feet. He stumbled over to the crib, almost panicking. He sobbed and grabbed one of the blankets. Shiro sunk to his knees, holding the fabric to his chest.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry..."

~

Allura was holding Hikaru as Shiro came in the dining hall the next morning. He veered to the other end of the table and sat in the spot next to where Katie would sit.

Everyone watched Shiro as he slowly ate. Once his plate was empty, he pushed it and rested his head in between his hands. The only sound in the room was forks scraping against plates and Hikaru cooing.

Shiro's teeth grit together as his eyes stung.

"Shiro?" Allura finally spoke up. "Will you hold Hikaru?"

Shiro's jaw clenched and his body tensed. "Why is everyone asking me that damned question!?" He snapped, a few tears escaping. His heart hurt so badly. Shiro slammed his hands down on the table as she stood abruptly. Everyone flinched and Hikaru began to fuss. "No! I won't hold him!" He pivoted on his heel and stormed out.

Allura stood and rocked Hikaru as the baby started crying. "It's okay, Hikaru... It'll be okay, darling..."

~

Three weeks... Three whole weeks since Katie left him with Hikaru, and he's barely touched the boy.

He sat on the green lion's paw and ran his hand down the metallic claw.

Green became unresponsive when Katie died, but would let her shield down when Shiro came, seeking comfort, like now.

Shiro sighed, closing his eyes. "What am I going to do? How can I take care of Hikaru without her?" Green didn't respond, and he didn't expect her to. She never did. "I want to be there for him, but... I can't... Katie is... He's going to die If I get too close, Green." Shiro choked, throat closing up and his eyes burned with tears. "I'm scared... I'm so scared... I need Katie... I need her...'

~

Shiro,paused as he walked into the commons room. Keith was rocking back and forth with Hikaru. Keith's eyes were closed as he spoke to the baby chewing on his shirt.

"Your mother was so strong... She was like a sister to me and I'm so glad I knew her." Keith whispered, rubbing Hikaru's back. "You got her eyes, Hika. You also definitely got her attitude. Also, don't worry about your dad. He just... He loved her." Shiro's breath caught. Keith sighed, shifting the baby. "Your dad is great, I promise. He just needs some time, okay?" Hikaru gurgled, tugging on Keith's shirt.

Shiro swallowed the lump in his throat and he stepped forward. "M-may I hold him?"

Keith jumped, and looked over his shoulder at Shiro. "Oh... Yeah..." He fully turned his body and shifted Hikaru as Shiro hesitantly stepped over. "Support his head." Keith reminded softly as he placed Hikaru in Shiro's arms.

Hikaru squeaked and kicked, hands balling into little fists. He looked up at Shiro. Shiro bit his lip, but failed to keep his tears back. "He does have her eyes." He brushed his fingers over the baby's cheek. Hikaru gurgled and grabbed Shiro's prosthetic fingers. He chewed on the fingers and cooed. His hands barely wrapped all the way around one of Shiro's fingers. "He's still so small."

Keith smiled. "He's only three weeks, Shiro." Shiro nodded.

The baby hiccuped and froze. Then he squeaked and a wide grin spread on his face as he kicked again. Keith blinked. "That's new."

Shiro gulped as he watched his son smile for the first time in his life. "He has her smile, too." Shiro muttered, smiling himself. Hikaru squeaked and cooed, reaching up to Shiro. Shiro sobbed and held him close. "I'm sorry... I promise, Hikaru... I promise..."

Kieth didn't know what exactly Shiro was promising, but he smiled anyway and left them alone.

~

Shiro rocked Hikaru as he one-handedly made a bottle in the kitchen. He was dead-tired, but Hikaru wouldn't stop screaming. "I know, I know..." He grumbled, glaring at the bottle that just wouldn't fucking screw shut right.

"You know, there's five people on this ship that can help you." Hunk yawned as he came in for his late night snack.

"It's two in the morning, Hunk." Shiro muttered, sighing in relief as the lid finally went on right. He held it up and helped it into Hikaru's mouth. The baby hummed and relaxed, quieting down. "Besides, I've got to make up for the three weeks of making you guys do this for me. I'm his father, not you guys."

Hunk smiled and pat Shiro's shoulder. "But we're still family. It doesn't matter what time or what situation - except for bathroom issues or Lance's explicit details of his weird sex dreams - we're always there for each other." Shiro returned a tired smile. Hunk yawned again and waved as he headed for the door. "Try and get some sleep, Shiro."

"I'll try."

~

"Katie?" Shiro muttered, walking through a meadow. The grass and flowers danced in the breeze as he walked towards the figure in a white dress. She turned, a baby in her arms. Katie smiled. Shiro wilted. "Katie..."

"Takashi... I love you so much." She whispered, reaching out to him with one hand. He took her hand and they stepped closer until they were wrapped in each other's embrace. "Hikaru is growing up to well."

Shiro nodded, burying his face in her caramel locks. "He reminds me so much of you."

Katie giggled. She looked down at the baby in her arms. Shiro looked down. That must be the stillborn. However, she was looking up at him with bright eyes and cooing. He touched her cheek. He just realized she was never named. His gaze returned to Katie's lively, beautiful eyes. "We'll always be family, Takashi."

Shiro nodded. "I know." He looked down at the rings on their fingers. "I love you. I miss you."

She reached up and cupped his cheek. "I know." She offered a sweet smile. She ran her thumb under his eyes. "We'll always be together... No matter what..."

~

Shiro woke again to Hikaru fusing. He sighed and pushed himself out of bed and dragged himself to the crib. He picked up the baby and cradled him.

Hikaru immediately calmed down. He cooed, chewing on his blanket. Shiro rocked him and hummed a soft tune. "I feel bad for everyone. I let you keep them up all night. Karma, I guess..." Hikaru giggled and cooed. Shiro smiled. "Of course you find it funny." Hikaru squeaked and kicked. Shiro sighed. "You're wide awake, now... Aren't you."

His baby gurgled as a response. So, Shiro stepped outside of the room and began walking through the castle halls, subconsciously heading for the hall Katie's body was. Once he realized where he was, he froze. Hikaru cooed and squirmed.

Slowly, Shiro made his way over to the pod holding his wife. A lump formed in his throat and his chest tightened. She looked so peaceful and beautiful, as if she wasn't dead at all. Just... Sleeping.

Hikaru reached over to the pod, his little fingers brushing over the glass. Shiro looked down at Hikaru. His eyes sparkled, as if he knew who she was.

Hikaru reached out to Katie with both hands, cooing and humming. His hands clenched and unclenched as he reached, wanting her to hold him.

"Sorry, buddy." Shiro whispered, pulling him back. Hikaru whimpered. "She can't hold you..."

~

Hikaru giggled and stuck his tongue out as Lance played with him. Shiro watched, making sure Hikaru didn't roll off the sofa.

Lance got too close, so Hikaru whacked him with his toy. Allura and Hunk burst out laughing as Lance shot back with a cry, covering his face.

Hikaru squealed in delight, clapping as he kicked. Shiro chuckled and picked up Hikaru. "Alright, enough playing with uncle Lance." He sat Hikaru on his knee and held him up. Hikaru blew bubbles with his drool as he tugged on Shiro's fingers.

"Ew!" Allura giggled, grabbing a handkerchief and wiping away the slobber. Hikaru whined and tried to wiggle away, but Shiro held him in place.

Hikaru giggled as Allura kissed his forehead and pet his soft hair back. "There you go, handsome." Hikaru cooed and waved as she stepped back.

"Thanks." Shiro said to Allura as he shifted Hikaru. Allura smiled and nodded. "Hey, buddy." Hikaru blew a raspberry, then giggled. Shiro laughed and held him up. Hikaru squealed, reaching down to Shiro. "Just like your mother, Hika. I wouldn't have it any other way."

-----

2309 words

I cried, like, ten times while writing this. I'm still kinda crying.