With all the unknowns, Marlowe had taken the day after the test off, but he was back to the pitch the following day. He didn't like how it felt to leave Caiti that morning. She had told him she was going to go home for a bit and then maybe go into the greenhouse to check on her plants, and he could tell as she said this she was trying to act normal, but he knew she didn't feel it. She had calmed down, but it was clear there was still so much on her mind.

In the locker room that morning, McSorley took a seat next to Marlowe on the bench where he was strapping on his protective gear. "Everything go okay?" he asked quietly.

Marlowe hadn't told many people what was going on — just Benson, because he had to know, and McSorley, because Marlowe trusted him most.

"Yeah," he said. In a low voice he explained the gist of what had happened then said, "It's good news, really. But Caiti took it pretty hard. She's feeling a lot of guilt, I think."

"Damn," said Brian with a frown. "She figured that much out already?"

"That's what I said," Marlowe agreed. "She's so smart it's kinda scary."

He laughed. "She'd have been horrified by my potions O.W.L. I didn't even qualify to go on to N.E.W.T. level."

"What'd you get, acceptable?"

He shook his head and grimaced. "Poor. But I think it should have been Troll. I think they just felt bad for me."

"I only got through N.E.W.T. level because she helped me, even though she was a year behind me, so don't feel too bad. It's like another language, potion-making. Half the stuff she says I don't even know what she's talking about."

"I'll stick to quidditch," McSorley said with a nod.

"Definitely," Marlowe agreed.

They headed outside soon after that. He felt just a little lighter. And though it was still February, still very cold out, he was glad to be on his broom, to think about something else for a few hours. Nothing made him tune the world out quite like quidditch.

—-

That weekend, they met up with Sean and Evelyn for lunch. The four of them hadn't spent any amount of time altogether since Christmas. Caiti had seen Sean once or twice when she'd been at home and he'd come by for dinner or to talk to her parents about something and she had met up with Evelyn once for lunch, but they were all so busy.

With Marlowe back at work most days, she had the most time of anyone, really, and that was only because she was sort of avoiding working on anything at the moment. No matter what Marlowe said, she still felt so guilty it was hard to stomach the thought of getting back at it.

They met in Diagon Alley. She held Marlowe's hand as they walked up to the cafe. He kept trying to say things to her, but she'd gotten in her head that morning as soon as she woke up and couldn't seem to get out of her funk.

Sean and Evelyn were already there, standing just outside the shop door even though it was cold outside. Evelyn smiled brightly when she saw them approaching and tapped Sean who had been looking the other way.

They headed towards them, meeting them in the middle. "Hi," Evelyn said, her voice all chirpy, and she gave each of them a hug. Marlowe clapped Sean on the back and they all exchanged pleasantries as they walked back towards the restaurant. Or at least, the other three did. Caiti said hardly anything.

She saw Evelyn eyeing her and Marlowe mouthed something that she knew had to be about her, but she didn't care enough to try to figure out what he'd said.

They took their seats at a table inside soon after, spent a few minutes puzzling over the menu until their server came around to take their orders, and then Sean said, "So I have some pretty big news."

"What is it?" asked Marlowe. "Did you find out about that internship?"

"Not that," Sean said. "I would've heard back months ago if I'd gotten that. They gave it to someone else. But it turns out they kept my information and a position opened up and they actually called me in to do another interview. It's a super entry-level job and I think I'll be making less than I do at the pet shop, actually, but there's a lot of room to grow and I think it's going to be really cool."

"What's the position?"

"Basically I just take care of the animals," he said. "They'll probably have me working with a bunch of different species at first and then eventually, they'll place me somewhere long term which will be cool, because at that point it becomes sort of a research opportunity. And then if that goes well, after a while I could get moved up to more of a conservationist role"

"Wow," Marlowe said. "That sounds great."

"I'm really excited," he said. "I start in two weeks. Barry's not going to like it, because I don't think he'll be able to come to work with me anymore, but it'll be good for him to know a little solitude. He's getting too spoiled."

Evelyn let out a little breath and made a face like this was quite the understatement. Caiti made eye contact with her and actually smiled a little.

"Well, congratulations," she said, figuring she'd better say something. "That's really cool they called you back in, even though you didn't get the internship initially."

"Yeah," Sean agreed. "I think it might be better, because this is actually paid, even if it's not much."

Marlowe asked a lot of questions after that and Sean seemed to have plenty to say, so the two of them carried the conversation all the way through their meal. Evelyn chimed in every so often, but she was watching Caiti a lot of the time.

Caiti said hardly anything at all. She felt so distant.

Marlowe had put his arm around her after he'd finished eating, his thumb absentmindedly stroking her shoulder. She stared at a piece of artwork above one of the nearby tables, only half listening to the boys who were now talking quidditch. This, she knew, was a conversation that could carry them for hours if no one interrupted them.

"I'm gonna run to the toilet," Evelyn interjected. "Caiti, do you want to come with?"

She looked up at Evelyn, saw pretty clearly that she had ulterior motives for asking her to come along, and stood.

They wove through the tables until they reached the bathrooms, and once inside, Evelyn stood in front of the sink and said, "Okay, tell me what's up."

Caiti shrugged. "I just can't get my mind off things."

"What things?"

"You know." She shrugged again. "My research and stuff."

Evelyn waited for her to continue.

Caiti sighed. Evelyn hadn't really heard the whole story unless Marlowe had told her at some point. Caiti had hardly seen anyone except Marlowe in the week since the trial. The bathroom didn't seem like the place to get into it.

"It's a long story," she said. "I'm just a bit in my head at the moment, but I'll be okay."

"Caiti," Evelyn said with an air of wanting to dig further, but Caiti wasn't in the mood.

"Not here, okay? It's too much to explain. I'm fine. I'm working through it."

So Evelyn let it drop, looking like doing so was against her better judgment.

When they got back to the table, Evelyn dug around in her purse for a while, messed with something in her lap under the table, and then when they left, she saw her slip Marlowe a bit of paper. He glanced at it and she mouthed, "Later," and he tucked it in his pocket.

They went back to Marlowe's house. Even that brief social excursion had left Caiti exhausted.

She could sense Marlowe gearing up to talk about whatever Evelyn had written, but she just couldn't have that conversation right now. They'd circled around her lack of enthusiasm for anything so many times in the past week and she just wanted to be allowed to mope for once.

"Can we just not talk about it right now?" Caiti asked. "I know you probably think I need to, but I just can't. I can't."

He watched her carefully, his eyes full of so much concern.

"Can I just make one suggestion?"

Caiti didn't answer. She let her eyes drift away from his.

"Take a week off," he said. "Or even just a few days. But like... don't go in at all. I'll stop by before work and take care of your plants for you. I helped for months. I know what all you do. Just take some time away from it. I think you just need a little distance from everything."

Caiti looked back at him in surprise. She'd expected a pep talk, expected him to tell her again that everything had gone so much better than they could have hoped and couldn't she see it that way? She hadn't expected this.

"Okay," she said. It didn't take much thinking over.

He pulled her into his arms and held on for a good long time. They spent the afternoon on the couch, listening to the radio. Caiti curled up with her head in his lap and he rubbed her back and they didn't talk. Her mind still felt so busy, but a little weight had been lifted at the thought of not having to even set foot in the greenhouse for a few days. She just needed a little time.

—-

It took a full week before Caiti felt ready to go to the greenhouse at all. Marlowe had been especially attentive, asking her to meet him for lunch or just coming to her house on his lunch break and spending an hour with her.

She tried not to think about it all, but it was easier to say she was going to step away from it than to actually follow through.

She thought about it a lot. She thought about it basically nonstop.

Still, actually going in with the intention of doing something about all that thinking felt like a step in the right direction. She was slowly losing some of the guilt, replacing it with her old determination.

As soon as she arrived, she froze. The entirety of the center table was covered in papers — drawings and notes, all in Marlowe's handwriting. They were all silly little things. A drawing of a smiling leaf with little hands giving her two thumbs up and a speech bubble that read, "I Beleaf in You!" A series of cartoons entitled Potions Princess starring a little doodly Caiti and a personified cauldron named Caulette. Daily diary entries from the perspective of the plants.

Caiti wanted to cry looking at it all.

She collected all the papers, brought them into the other room, and curled herself up on the couch to read them. Tears slipped down her cheeks the whole while, even when they made her laugh. It was just so sweet. He was so sweet. She felt so lucky. So loved. She wanted so badly to be able to turn all his faith in her into something tangible.

When Caiti had gotten to the last note, she sat and let herself cry for twenty minutes. It didn't feel like the frustrated tears she had cried on and off that past week sitting in her room alone. This felt cleansing.

After those twenty minutes, she got to work. She got out her notebook, wrote a long list of all the things she had been deliberating about ever since the trial. She organized them into questions, things to try, things to ask the study participants when she finally met with them.

Then, feeling her head was a little clearer with all this out, she wrote a letter to Alora, who she had not spoken to since before the trial, and asked her if they could meet to talk some things over. Finally, she wrote a letter to the healers at the research center apologizing for the way she had left that morning and asking if they could set up a time to conduct the follow-up interviews.

She took these to the post office in Diagon Alley, paid several sickles and sent the letters off with the post owls. As she was leaving, she spotted a sign in the window of the apothecary that caught her attention. Now Hiring.

She approached the window display so she could read the smaller print. Seeking competent potion-makers well-versed in all basic household necessities. Flexible hours and competitive pay. Inquire inside.

Without much further thought, Caiti pushed through the door.

She was in and out of the apothecary quite a lot with funds from the Libatius Borage Prize, so the wizard at the desk recognized her and said a few words of greeting, but otherwise assumed she knew what she was looking for. He looked back down at the herbs he'd been preparing to bottle, but glanced back up when he saw Caiti was already at the desk.

"Hi," she said. "I was wondering if I could see an application for the job you have posted outside."

He frowned at her. He knew all about the prize, knew what had her in and out so often. "Don't you think you might be a little overqualified, miss? These are just the basics we're making here. Cleaning solutions and basic restorative draughts and what have you. Anything more complicated and they've got to buy the ingredients and have a crack at it themselves."

"I know," Caiti said. "I don't mind that."

He continued to frown, but passed over an application from under the counter.

"You're not giving it up with your big project then, are ye?"

"Oh," Caiti said. "No. No, of course not."

His frown seemed to clear at that.

"Can I just fill this out here?"

"Course you can," he said, and passed her a quill.

—-

When Marlowe got back from work that day, he stopped at home to shower, then went to Caiti's, expecting to find her in her bedroom as she had been nearly always for the last week, but her mum said she wasn't home.

Heartbeat picking up, he headed to the greenhouse thinking she must have finally moved on a bit. She had smiled so little in the past week and it was really eating away at him.

Sure enough, she was there. She looked up the moment she saw him and ran at him, hugging him with so much force he stumbled back a few steps.

"You are the sweetest, most wonderful person I have ever met, ever," she said, arms right around his middle.

"You got my notes?" he laughed.

"Look," Caiti said, and she pulled him by the hand into the other room where she had taken all the little drawings he'd made and bound them into a book. "It took a few tries to get it right. I'd never done this spell before. But I love it so much. Now I can look at it all the time."

"Wow," he said, flipping through it. "It looks so professional. It's like I'm a published author."

"You could be if you wanted," she said. "You could make this into a whole comic book." She tapped a picture of Caulette the little cauldron. "Or you could write one about a kid who's a werewolf for Jack. Or a quidditch one. You could do tons. You're so good at it."

"I should make one for Jack," he said thoughtfully. He hadn't seen him since shortly after Christmas.

"He would love it," Caiti said. "You could even sell them and donate some of the money to a charity that helps werewolves or something."

"I'd donate all of it," Marlowe said. "I don't need more than I already make."

She was putting ideas in his head. Lots of ideas. It wasn't as though he wasn't plenty busy already, but it was appealing. He had really enjoyed drawing those little comics for her each morning. It was fun trying to come up with clever little situations, funny ways to illustrate them. He loved his little doodly Caiti. She was adorable.

"Guess what," Caiti said suddenly, like she'd just remembered something. "I applied for a job today."

"Really? Where?"

"The apothecary I always go to. There was a sign on the door. I think I'll get it."

"Of course you will," he said. And then he started to think about what this would mean, not too long from now. Maybe they'd start looking at houses soon, little cottages they could rent. Something just big enough for the two of them.

Caiti smiled down at the book again. She seemed so light all the sudden. Ever since the trial, everything about her had seemed weighed down, but she seemed like herself again, all excitable and bubbly.

He wrapped his arms back around her, his chin on the top of her head, and he took a deep breath.