Kokichi held onto my arm and my face was inflamed. I don't know how he does this... I thought I didn't like dudes... well the last person I liked was a girl from a while ago... and found out that she was shallow and rude... I guess I just gave up on people. But Kokichi... I have no idea how I feel around him...

"Welcome class, we are going to be learning more about eating disorders like Pica." The teacher sitting behind the desk announced to the class after the bell rang. Pica? What is that? I asked myself. I have learned about a lot of disorders and have some myself. Like depression, anxiety, anorexia, insomnia... I don't think I have heard of Pica...

Kokichi turned around and tapped my shoulder. "Shuichi, are you ok? You look like you're spacing out." He said concerned. I flinched at his words. I don't like when other people are concerned about me. Whenever someone has told me that they care... it's only because anything I do to hurt myself hurts their reputation... That may sound cynical... but I guess from that I don't believe anything anyone tells me anymore.

"Shuichi." He breathed. I flushed again feeling flustered from not responding... "Ah, sorry Kokichi... I was just thinking..." I whispered. Not liking how loud my breath sounded as it pushed out of my parted lips.

His face went from one of concern to a small smile. "It's alright Shuichi. What were you thinking about?" He asked. I froze. Not sure how to take what he said. He frowned slightly before turning around. I watched him curiously wondering why he suddenly just turned around. Soon after a few moments of rustling through his bag, he turned back around. "Here you go!" He exclaimed quietly as the teacher was setting up the presentation. "Thanks?" I asked. He handed me a notebook. It was purple with silver binding. I opened it and looked at the first page. There was purple handwriting on the first page. I assumed it was Kokichi's because he handed me the notebook. Also because I have noticed that he takes most of his notes in purple pen.

Hey! I noticed you don't talk much. So I thought maybe it would be easier to write instead of talk! You can just write me back in this notebook if you don't feel like talking. Pass it back to me!
-K

I felt myself flush. He is so thoughtful. I traced over the letters on the page. He wanted me to write him back. I pulled out a blue pen and looked back at the page. I looked up and saw that he already turned back around as the teacher started the lesson. "Pica is a disorder when you eat non-food objects." The teacher started making me stop writing. Non-food objects? Does that mean blood?! I felt my face pale. Should I feel nervous about this? Kokichi was eyeing my food weirdly... maybe he already knows.

My breath hitched as I took in another shaky breath. I felt my hand start to shake. I shook my head. I shouldn't worry about it. Because if I do then Kokichi and the others will notice. I have never been good at hiding something...

Hey Kokichi, sorry I don't talk that much. Most of the time I don't know what to say. Sorry if I'm not very interesting... if you wanted to know what I was thinking. I didn't know how to feel about this school. I have never been to school before... I was always homeschooled before this.
-S

I tapped his shoulder and passed the notebook back to him. He smiled at me as our hands barely touched when he took the notebook from my hand. I felt like I never wanted his hand to leave mine. I wanted to hold his hand. What is this boy doing to me?! Maybe it's something to do about the new life that has been placed upon me? Should I ask Kyoko?

I pulled out my phone and opened the messaging app. Kyoko said she had permission to text me during school. I took in a shaky breath trying to stop my hands from shaking.

'Kyoko, I was wondering if there was something about vampires that maybe makes them feel like they want to do something to someone and sometimes end up doing something without knowing until the other person tells them... for example... I met someone today and at lunch, I started to caress their neck and only knew I was doing it when they asked me why I was doing it... also just now I have the biggest impulse to hold their hand...'

I sent the message feeling my blush increase. I hope this isn't just some hormones that I got from finally being around people my age... I wish that this wasn't happening while at the same time... I want to be with Kokichi. I want to hold his hand, be able to hug him, I want him to be mine. Maybe that's a little creepy and clingy of me...

My phone buzzed moments later and I jumped. I opened the message from Kyoko.

'Well, it's probably just hormones. But it could also be because Vampires tend to be bonded to someone and they find it hard to not want to be with them.'

That makes sense... but why do I have to be bonded to Kokichi. Will he want to be with someone like me? Will he want and burden like me dragging him down? Will he want me? I don't want this. I don't want to have to make him stay with me. I want him to be comfortable. I want him to want to be mine. I want him to not hate me.

I felt tears coming into my eyes. I don't want this. My hands balled into fists as a tear rolled down my cheek. I'm sorry Kokichi...

-Friends are a waste of feelings. School is a waste of patience. Feelings are a waste of tears. I'm so tired of living... I mean I am all the time, but today and these past two weeks... has been exhausting...-

-ShuichiOuma010-