Dedicted to Ayshasman

"No I won't! No I can't and please, don't ever being up this topic again! It's disgusting!!" Humaira gently turned away from Star, answering her soberly. She felt so emotional that tears gathered up in her eyes. Bringing up her past is hurting, yet going forward looks so impossible. She tried holding her tears back...

'Among everything good in life, why would this be happening to me? I hate myself right now... And that devilish man that calls himself an Alhaji!' Humaira cried in her mind.

Star noticed that she was hiding her face. She walked to Humaira and gently grabbed her arm.

"What's it?" She frowned at her, slightly. "Did I say anything wrong?"

Humaira jerked her hand away... Her eyes were full of emotions. Emotions that are hunting her down every single day, and Star understands it. "Why would you bring up a talk like this...

"Just leave me alone!" She used the back of her hands to wipe away her tears but her whole body was shivering as her heart clouded.

"Are you alright?" Star held her again but she pulled away.

"What do you care?! Live your life and let me live mine!! Whatever... Just leave me alone!" Humaira walked as she walked out of the kitchen.

Everything seem tiring even though she's trying all in her power to make things right. She was heartbroken about the fact that the more she was sacrifing, the deeper she get hurt.

She ran into her room and banged the door close. Forgetting that Hadee was asleep in the room. He woke up in the fear of the slam and started crying.

She looked at his direction in fraustration.

"Why would you have to cry now? Why?!" She asked him as if her 1 year old child would open his mouth and speak.

His cry grew louder and clouded. She wiped away her tears and carried him  on her chest.  She made him sit on her arm as she watched him cry.

"I'm so sorry my love. Right now... I just hate myself so much and I'm wondering if im even worthy to be your mother when I can't even take care of myself properly. How would I care for you? Things are becoming difficult for me my baby. I hope you understand." She placed a soft kiss on his forehead and cupped his face in her palm, tenderly. 

He sniffed timelessly, still weeping as he watched her motherly face.

"I just wish I could be a better mother for you. You're such a blessing and I love you so much..." She muttered to him and decided to breast feed him. His crying stopped immediately she placed her bead-like nipples into his tiny mouth. A bright smile find it's was through Humaira's teary face. 

"It's just a bad day, not a bed life. I'll continue tomorrow again." She sighed softly.  "I'll hawk throughout tomorrow. I don't mind failing, I'll work hard and gather up money for your treatment. At least, for next month. You would definitely get better again and Insha Allah, the awful illness would leave you body." She smiled as she continued breastfeeding him.

***

In Abuja.

Later that day...

"Are you stupid or your incurably deaf? I said why haven't you washed this plate till today?!"

"Ma... I don't know that it's still there wallahi! I must have forgotten. I thought I've watched it."

"You thought you watched what? Imagine? Heeeyyyy! So you've started lying as well. You're now a professional lier abi? Small girl like you!"

"No ma. Wallahi I thought I've actually watched this plate!..."

"Shut up! Don't swear to God while lying... Foolish girl! This very instant! Come and take the plates!!"

It was two flat plates Amina used to eat dinner, two weeks ago. She came to eat the last part of Zainab's Tuwo and Mian Kushe soup she'd prepared that evening. Only God knows why she hide the plates somewhere at the corner of the kitchen's shelf.

Meanwhile, Amina has told Zainab to wash the plate but it must have skipped her mind. Now, the leftover soup that was still in one of the plates was stinkily smelling.

"I said come and carry this plate outside right now before I give you a dirty slap!" Zainab trembled to Amina's words.

Zainab moved closer in fear that Amina would actually slap her. There are times when she beats her up. Not only Amina does that, even Mr. Abdullahi too wipes and scolds her from time to time. While Ibrahim and Isah makes Jess of her both in school and at home.

She can't say or do anything to change that. As it's no news to everyone in school that she's affected  with the dreadly incurable virus so everybody tries as much as possible to stay away from her except for her new seatmate, Habeebah.

"What's your problem?! Amina blurted and carried the plates. Come and take this from me!" 

Instead o waiting, Amina impatiently grabbed the girls ears and twist it up so painful as if she wanted to turn Zainab into a goblin. She suddenly slapped her and grabbed her cloths but Zainab pulled away forcefully, trying to escape the beatings.

"Stupid girl, cured girl! Yar banza!!" She hissed at her again. "And what are you still waiting for?! You want me to bring your cane right?!"

"No ma..." Zainab croaked and started crying. She wiped away her tears immediately, trying to do as she's told.

Zainab shivered as she moved closer. About to collect the plates, Amina slapped Zainab with the rotten smell of maggots that were already residing in it.

It scattered over her hair and her entire body.

"Now, wash these plates and then you'll do the library before you take dinner in this house, okay?!"

Zainab couldn't answer she broke down in tears and started crying.
'Why would she do this... This woman is just so cruel.' Zainab thought as she wiped away we sour soup from her body.

"Am I not talking to you? Or has the soup blocked your hearing?" She glared at her with and evil stare making Zainab cry and shiver even more.

Her whole body began to shake in fear of Mrs. Bala as she squart to pick up the plates.

And started washing it.

Make sure you clean this mess! She doing to the floor and the laundry must be done before you take dinner. Is that understood!" She blurted

"Okay ma..." She quivered.

"Very wicked witch! Evil soul! She wanted to make me took like the stupid one. Can you imagine keeping a plate of soup for two long weeks?! I wonder your usefulness in this house! All she wants to do is to eat and sleep!" She ranted as she went back inside.

Take a deep breath. You are normal. This happens to everyone.

There is always a reason why you cry, even if you don’t know what it is. You have what it takes to get through this moment.

Just then, Ibrahim passed the kitchen to drop a heap of clothes at the backyard.

He rolled his eyes at her and closed his nose as if she had just showered with pig's excrete. He dropped the cloths and snickered pass her.

Tears lingered down her eyes as she tried to hide her feeling. She felt so miserable and downgraded. She cried bitterly trying to think about how she might be looking right now. She slowly wipes away the soup from her hair and face.

Ibrahim passed again with another heap of clothes. Isah came from a corner and observed her with an irritating look.

You've seen nothing. He taunted and walked away.

After washing the plates, Zainab wiped off the water with the dishcloth and arranged the plates into the draining board.

Turning back, she her eyes met Idris. Heartbroken Zainab didn't want to speak; so, she just kept quite for a while, staring at the ground as if it would swallow her up just to hide herself for a while. Especially from him. Idris was flabbergasted with what he just heard... He couldn't believe his own mother of all people would ever do this to his sister. He really wanted to face his mother that night and ask her why but he's tired to bringing up any unnecessary commotions, he knows definitely, thins won't end well so, he kept quite for a while, watching her in great awe  and so many questions turning in his mind.

"Zainab..."

Idris was just speechless.