cw// mentions of burglary, break ins, suicide attempts, depression, death, health issues etc.

Well, hi.

I know some of you probably thought I died— and I definitely tried to 🫠. (Much like Ivy, humor is my defense mechanism I apologize, but if I don't laugh I cry).

I have been here and there over these past few months and posted on my MB about my absence from this book, but following continuous hate comments and horrible private messages— I felt I needed to talk to you all.

Sharing this is difficult because it's incredibly personal, but I know you all deserve an explanation.

Ever since I was freshly 18, I have lived on my own. I support myself fully— my own apartment, bills, groceries, etc. I turn 20 this upcoming September, so I've been on my own a while. (This is not to say I don't speak to or have a relationship with my family— just that I financially support myself). I work 30-40 hours weekly while also in college full time.

A few months ago my aunt passed away. It was unexpected and it took a lot out of me. A few weeks later— my car was broken into and trashed. Then my apartment was attempted to be broken into (door kicked in, back window had a crack, etc.) Prior to all of this, I was having some minor issues with my liver that has resurfaced from last spring if you were around for that whole situation. In this sort of limbo I was experiencing— I tried to take my own life. Living was exhausting for me and I felt so alone. I was scared and saw no end. Then before my mind and body had time to heal, I was working nonstop to pay for the repairs to my car, home, and the bills that were never ending.

I know most of you had no idea this was occurring and just wanted more of Ivy. Trust me, she is my safe space. I want to write. I want to create. I have just felt so stuck and in this weird haze.

For those of you who have supported me throughout this— I do not have the words that would express my gratitude in full. I needed every smidgen of love you shared towards me. Thank you.

I love you all.

I know that I just completely fit the Wattpad writer stereotype of them disappearing then popping back up like, "Hey, girlies! I was in jail 🤪".

I promise updates for this book are coming. Ivy Salvatore has been the light in my life for years now— fictional or not. I love her and I need to write for her again.

Thank you for everything. 💗