It's the first day of school, and I'm wearing my best shirt, which belonged to Evan before Callum handed it to me. The joys of three boys in three years. I'm holding mom's hand as we get to school. She's pregnant with Ally, who'll be here in just a few weeks, but she's happy and full of life.

Dad hugged us all as we left and said, "be good cause I'll know if you aren't," and left for work at the stockyard.

He's still getting used to a permanent life in District 10, and even at six years old, I can tell. mom let Callum and Evan run ahead and rush off to their friends; I stayed by mom cause I never really liked their friends. She's talking to another mom, but she doesn't have any kids hanging around her.

She gestures towards me and says, "oh, my son Jonah's in the same grade as your middle boy; we live down the road from you, I think. I saw ya'll walking this morning."

Mom nods and agrees. I look to the boy she gestured to, and suddenly I feel like there's a cow on my chest. His bright green eyes look right through me, but his smile is happy and full of warmth.

I walked over to him and say, "hi,"

He looks at me seriously and then suddenly hits me, saying, "tag you're it," and runs off smiling.

Jonah hooked me right then, and I run after him playing until class starts. Every day at lunch, we play and talk, and he'd walk home with us when Ally was born. By winter, Jonah and I were best friends and completely inseparable. By the time I was 11, I knew I had liked him more than a friend, but I kept that to myself. It started to build and weigh on me, and one afternoon on reaping day three years ago, we had the worst fight of our friendship.

Suddenly between being angry with him and scared, I'll lose him; he grabs my shirt and yells, "dummy! I love you," and leaned in and kissed me hard, but with so much energy that my legs went out from under me and I grab him to stand.

He pulls back, questioning the move. I just shake my head and said, "I love you, too.... dummy."

We spent the rest of the night kissing and talking. Watching the sunset over the Prairie and well into the night watching the stars. I had him for two years until he was reaped.

A door slams behind me, pulling me back into the present, and I realize with a shock, Ally and I are in the same room that Jonah was in when I got to say goodbye.

I think to myself, 'fuck, this is real,' and look at Ally, who's barely holding it together and hold her hand.