She is the sweetest thing that I know,

Should see the way she holds me when the lights go low,

Shakes my soul like a pothole every time.

Took my heart upon on a one way trip,

Guess she wandering off with it,

Unlike other women I know,

This one will bring it back home.

-"Hearts Don't Break Around Here," Ed Sheeran

August 2004

Raigan arrived precisely ten minutes earlier than James asked her to, as always. She let herself into his apartment, calling out, "I'm here."

"Hey, Rai," James called out from the bathroom. "Just give me one sec, gotta brush my teeth." The ministry's end-of-summer work party was that evening and Anna wasn't able to be there as she'd gone back home to celebrate her brother's birthday. James had pretended to be bummed but was secretly relieved, because he didn't have much experience spending time with Anna in public. Their interactions were mostly limited to her bedroom, whether or not James liked to admit it.

Raigan, on the other hand... frankly, there was no one he was more comfortable with. She had been his best friend since he was twelve years old and also happened to be the only girl he'd ever tried to befriend without turning it into a short-lived relationship.

When he came out into the living room, Raigan was sitting in his most uncomfortable armchair with her legs crossed, flipping through his latest issue of QMag as though she had any interest in quidditch besides hunting for pictures of Michael Scrivner, whom she had long harbored a celebrity crush on.

"Found him," she said, with a little raise of her eyebrows. Sure enough, she'd opened to the center of the magazine with a full page spread of Scrivner flying up the camera. His photo winked at her and zoomed away again.

James grinned. "You're unbelievable."

She just shrugged, set the magazine down, still open to Scrivner's picture, and stood up. She wore her dark hair up in a ponytail and was dressed in a black and white striped t-shirt dress.

"You look nice," said James. He was glad she hadn't worn robes either. It was late August and the temperature was sweltering.

"Thanks," said Raigan. She was the only girl he knew that didn't follow up the compliment with some variation on 'You don't think it's too (fill in the blank here),' which always drove him crazy, because if he didn't think a girl looked nice, why would he say she did?

"You ready to go?" she asked.

"Yep, let's do it."

---

The Ministry had booked a very large outdoor venue for the event, which meant the Obliviators would likely enjoy little of the party. James and Raigan had only just arrived when, right in front of where they'd apparated, a tall witch pointed her wand straight at the nose of a muggle man holding a roll of salmon-colored raffle tickets. "Obliviate," she said firmly, and his eyes slid out of focus and back again.

With a contented smile on his face, he said, "Evening ma'am. Like to enter the raffle?"

James led Raigan over to the magically-enlarged, open-air tent where a live jazz band played and many witches and wizards were lined up to get drinks. They fell into the end of the line, and James looked around, pointing out people he worked with until an old acquaintance from school, who worked in the Department of Magical Transportation, joined the line behind them.

"Marcus, how are you?" asked James, turning to the dark-skinned man. He'd begun shaving his head since they finished school and James still hadn't gotten used to it, although he saw him around the ministry fairly often.

"Hey, Mason. Doing alright. Doing alright. How are you?" Then he spotted Raigan. "Hang on a second, that can't be Raigan Woodley, can it?" he asked, noticing Raigan now.

"It can be," she said, with a little tip of her head and a crooked smile.

"Wow, great to see you," he said, holding his hand out to shake. "Been a while."

"You too," said Raigan, with a pleasant smile.

"You two aren't together now are you?" asked Marcus, turning to look at James.

They both laughed. "No," said James. "Friends."

"Thought I'd seen you around with a blonde girl," said Marcus, thoughtfully. "What are you doing then, Raigan? Never seen you around the ministry before. Didn't realize you worked here."

"I don't," she said. "Just the plus one for the night. I'm actually working in the infirmary at Hogwarts."

"Oh, wow, that's great," he said. "Should've known." But they'd reached the front of the line, and had to interrupt their conversation to order their drinks.

With a cocktail each, they turned back to Marcus and James said, "Well maybe we'll see you around again later. Good to see you."

"Yeah you too. Congrats on that gig, Raigan. Knew you'd do something like that."

She smiled her thanks, and they headed off.

"Come're," said James. He'd just spotted his work-partner, Dawson. "I want to introduce you to someone."

Dawson was sat around a round table on the opposite side of the tent in the midst of a discussion with one of the other aurors and his fiancee, but by the time they got there, his companions had stood to go. Dawson looked up as James approached and said hello, but then his eyes went straight to Raigan and stayed there. There was no way Raigan hadn't noticed.

James pulled up two chairs and they sat down.

"Dawson, this is my best friend, Raigan Woodley. Rai, this is Dawson Swenson. We're partners at work."

"Nice to meet you," she said.

"Nice to meet you too," said Dawson.

It became clear very quickly that the two of them got on well. James dropped in and out of the conversation, but they didn't seem to need him to carry on chatting. Dawson was infatuated. James recognized the signs at once. He kept tripping over his words and laughed more often than usual.

When Raigan excused herself to go to use the restroom about an hour after they'd sat down, Dawson leaned forward at once and said, "Swear to me she's just your friend."

"She's definitely just my friend," said James.

Dawson sat back again, putting his hands on the sides of his head. "Oh my god, she's amazing. Do you- would you be mad if I asked her to dance?" he asked.

"Nah," James said, shaking his head. "No, I trust you with her."

And he really did. Dawson was the far superior man of the two of them, in James' opinion, especially when it came to women. Dawson was the gentleman. James was the charmer. Hypocritical as he knew it was, he didn't want anyone to treat Raigan the way he treated his girlfriends. And Dawson wouldn't. No question.

"How are you not- she's really just your friend?" he asked. He seemed almost frantic.

James laughed. "I promise you, she is just my friend."

"I don't think I'll ever be able to understand that," said Dawson. "This woman is the most beautiful, wonderful person I've ever met, oh my god."

"I don't disagree," said James. "She's like a sister, though. We're not- we're never going to be anything but friends. She's fair game, man."

"Okay," said Dawson, sitting up straight with a look of absolute determination on his face. He clenched both fists and hit them on the table. "I'm gonna do it."

When Raigan was on her way back, Dawson jumped up and intercepted her before she could reach the table. She glanced past him at James, but he nodded, waving a hand at her to say go ahead. She looked away from James, nodded once and said something he couldn't hear and then Dawson slipped his hand into hers and they headed over to the dance floor in front of the jazz band, which was populating more and more as the sky darkened.

James sat back at the table and watched them when he could see them through the thickening crowd. Raigan looked really, really happy.

---

When they left that night, Raigan's eyes were bright and her cheeks were flushed. She rolled her lips together and looked up at James.

"Thanks for inviting me," she said and then she did something very un-Raigan-ish and she kissed him on the cheek before she hugged him.

"You like him?" James asked, circling his hand over her back before they let go.

"Yeah," she admitted. "A lot."

"Good," said James. Her smile was contagious.

September 2004

"So I'm taking Raigan out tomorrow night," said Dawson.

James whipped around to face him so fast he nearly blew their cover. They were literally tailing someone down Knockturn Alley at that very moment, trying to appear as casual shoppers without losing their target, a middle aged witch who they thought was responsible for the kidnapping of a seven year old boy of seemingly no relation to her. His parents had been the ones to call the authorities about their missing child, but then when someone had arrived to interview them on the situation, they couldn't tell anyone anything. In fact, they solidly maintained that a potted plant in the corner of the living room was actually their son. Obviously their brains had been addled, and unless a mistake had been made somewhere down the line, they'd tracked the wand that did it to the woman James and Dawson were following at that very moment.

The woman in question had just entered a shop on their right, which was probably the only reason James sudden motion did not draw attention. And this was the moment Dawson chose to break the news?

"Can't say I didn't see it coming," muttered James, trying to gauge through the grimy shop window whether it would be worth the hassle to follow her inside. "She won't stop talking about the party."

"Really?" asked Dawson. He was older than James, but his face was still round and boyish, even more so now. Between that and his sandy blonde hair, not to mention his very personality, he sometimes seemed like a really sharp, responsible, oversized kid.

"First time I've ever seen her with a real crush," said James. "I don't think we should go in. It looks like she's heading to the register already."

Dawson ignored this. "You think she likes me then?" he asked, running a hand through his hair like Raigan might materialize this very second.

"You specified that this was a date?" he asked. "Not just hanging out?"

Dawson nodded.

"She likes you," said James. He looked in the window again.

"I'm gonna marry 'er," said Dawson decisively.

"You've met her once," said James. And yet, somehow, he didn't doubt this. Dawson was just the sort of guy for Raigan. He was charming, lighthearted, and funny, but also honest, put together, and very practical. He had a good job, had just bought a house in a nice neighborhood not far outside Nottingham, and was probably ready, maybe even looking, for a long-term commitment – the only thing Raigan had ever been interested in. Most importantly he had almost as much class as she did. Dawson was a real adult. James would never admit it, but he looked up to him. He just didn't quite know how to begin to model his life after someone's when the current state of things was so embarrassingly far away from the goal.

"Yeah, but she's perfect," Dawson said. He wasn't even trying to keep on eye on the current situation now.

"I don't disagree," said James, leading him away from the window so that, hopefully, when the witch came out again, it would not look as though they'd been waiting for her. "She's probably my favorite person ever."

"And you swear you've never even considered..."

"Considered," said James. "For all of thirty seconds. I love her, just not like that." He glanced at Dawson and saw him rake his hand through his hair again. James smirked. "You've got nothing to be nervous about. You're exactly what she's looking for."

"Nervous doesn't even begin to cover it," said Dawson, but then the witch exited the shop and they had to divert their focus again.

---

James decided – though it was very, very difficult to refrain – not to razz Raigan about her date until after it was over. They had lunch that Sunday afternoon, as usual. James went up to visit her on at least one weeknight a week, but also, without fail, every Sunday.

In the last two or three months that he'd been seeing Anna (who was very pretty and whom James liked very much without taking into consideration the fact that she didn't have any problem with sleeping together on the first date) Raigan had given him a hard time about the way he scheduled ahead of time and kept up a steady stream of contact with her, but couldn't grant the same courtesy to his girlfriend. James had simply argued that Anna wasn't his girlfriend. Yet.

But truthfully, he had no plans to be more consistent with Anna. She had yet to say no when he sprung a 'drinks, etc.' request on her at the last minute and he liked it that way. The spontaneity was the fun part. Or part of it.

On this particular Sunday afternoon, however, Raigan didn't get much of a chance to pester him about his dating habits, because he replaced "hello" with "So how'd it go?" and Raigan turned bright red and covered her face. James laughed a little too hard at this and didn't ask again until they had sat down at the Three Broomsticks in the good corner booth, with a Butterbeer each in front of them. It felt very much like fall that day, the perfect kind of crisp air and lukewarm sun. Except for the fact that this booth would never have been open on a Hogsmeade weekend, it reminded him a lot of their school days and it made him a little nostalgic. Admittedly, he was a little jealous that Raigan got to be in the castle. He hadn't seen the inside since they'd graduated.

"So," he prompted. Raigan pushed her straw an inch deeper into her glass. "How'd it go with Dawson?" asked James.

Her cheeks reddened, if possible, ever further than before at the sound of his name and James grinned.

"You like him," he said. It wasn't a question.

Raigan nodded a little bit, accidentally caught James eye, and at the sight of his smile, she started to smile too. She pressed her lips together tight, but couldn't stop it. "Yeah," she said finally. "I do."

"Our little Raigan," said James, melodramatically. "Finally in love."

"I didn't say that," she said. "It's been one-" but she stopped. He figured she was just uncomfortable saying the word "date" when one of the date-ees was herself. "I mean we've met twice."

James thought about telling her Dawson had said he was going to marry her before they'd been on their one date, but decided that was probably a bad idea. "So what'd you do?" he asked instead. "Tell me about it."

And though she'd been trying so hard to hold back all this time, she took a deep breath and began to spill out words upon words upon words like this was all she had been waiting to do.

December 2004

James heard, in detail, about Raigan and Dawson's budding relationship from both ends, but he had rarely had the opportunity to witness it live. His first really good chance to observe arrived at the very end of the fall term at Hogwarts. Raigan had invited both he and Dawson to attend the Hogwarts Faculty and Staff Christmas Party with her. It was rather a big to do because Professor McGonagall was to be retiring at the end of the school year, so rather than the typical quiet gathering, the faculty had decided to throw a much larger bash in her honor. Guests were encouraged.

Raigan met them both in Hogsmeade an hour before the party was due to start. She'd done her hair in waves, and pinned a section back on one side with a small but very sparkly barrette and she wore a festive red peacoat over her dress that matched the bright red of her lipstick. James had never seen Raigan wear lipstick before. She hugged James first when they arrived and he could actually feel her shivering.

"How long have you been waiting out here?" he asked, giving her a squeeze.

"Twenty minutes," she said. She pulled back and turned to Dawson who kissed her (Raigan blushed and avoided looking at James) and then pulled her into a hug as well.

"You said meet at five, didn't you?"

"I did," she said, eyes down at her feet.

"Then what were you doing out here so early?"

Raigan just smiled with a slight tip of her head. "Come on let's walk back," she said.

She linked arms with the both of them and led the way up the path.

It occurred to James that Dawson had never been to Hogwarts before. He had likely seen it's exterior from a distance coming to visit Raigan, but she always maintained that she couldn't bring any non-employees into the castle. Raigan was a rule follower.

"I feel like a real spy," said Dawson as they approached the front gates.

"You are a real spy," said James. "We were spying on someone two hours ago." Raigan laughed.

"I mean," said Dawson with reverence, "that I may be the very first graduate of the far superior Ilvermorny School of Witchcraft and Wizardry...." he paused dramatically and then finished, "to ever set foot in this castle."

"Nope," said Raigan. "The headmistress of your school was here two weeks ago on a committee to interview potential new headmasters for us."

"Rats," said Dawson, the facade gone in an instant.

Raigan let them in the gate and they walked up the lawn. She pointed out the various features of the grounds to Dawson as they went and he did his part by playing the part of tourist exceptionally well, asking ridiculous questions and making hoity-toity remarks about the architecture. She kept giving him annoyed looks and gave his arm a light smack more than once, but James knew she liked it. It was the same response he usually got with sarcasm.

James didn't contribute too much to the conversation, not because he felt like he was third wheeling - to be fair, he did feel a little like he was third wheeling - but because he had been hit with a funny feeling in his stomach and throat, a sort of tightness. It felt so strange to be back here after so long. To be walking past the sites of so many specific memories. He could point out at least a dozen places where he had spent warm afternoons studying with Raigan, a blanket laid out beneath them, and probably two dozen more where he had taken out various girls for of a bit of privacy. And this was just on the route from the gates to the castle. It was like walking past all these versions of himself he'd forgotten.

When they strode through the great oak front doors to the entrance hall and he caught his first glimpse of the castle - all it's funny portraits and the grand marble staircase that led up to the corridor down which most of their lessons had been held - something caught in his stomach and he felt downright sad. When had he gotten so old?

He wondered if Raigan ever felt this way about Hogwarts, but then, she had never left. It couldn't have been quite the same for her.

"Five twenty," said Raigan. "Should we give him a quick tour?"

She was looking at James now so he snapped out his funk and said, "Yeah. I want to see it too." Dawson slipped his hand into Raigan's and James followed the two of them up the staircase. They peeked into empty classrooms, some of which looked entirely unchanged, and wandered past all sorts of Christmas decor. There were red and gold baubles hanging from garlands that crisscrossed the ceiling, all lit up, and the suits of armor had been enchanted to sing "God Rest Ye Merry Hippogriffs" and "The Twelve Days of Christmas" whenever anyone passed. This alone could've made James feel soppy.

Raigan kept up a running stream of commentary for Dawson's benefit all the way until finally they reached the hospital wing and she slowed, reached for the handle and said, "And this is where I work." She smiled a little, but James thought she seemed suddenly nervous.

Inside, the infirmary looked much the same except that Raigan had somehow managed, in her special way, to make it look so much more inviting. He couldn't exactly pinpoint what she had changed to accomplish this, but he could feel it. Dawson let go of her hand to take a look around and James stepped up to take his place, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "They must love you, Rai," he said. She neither confirmed nor denied this, but she did smile and look down at her feet. He knew it was true.

Madame Pomfrey had been a perfectly nice woman and a very accomplished healer, but Raigan was a nurturer. She had a sweetness that put people at ease.

"Thanks for coming," she said quietly.

"Thanks for inviting me," said James. "I would've thought you wanted a date night."

She shook her head. "I mean I wanted him to come," she said. "But all my memories here are with you."

James swallowed and nodded once. "Yeah," he said. "It's good to be back."

---

When dinner was over and the band had started up, Dawson asked Raigan to go and dance so they wove their way to the open floor, filling up quickly, and James slipped over to where he'd spotted Professor Beck, his Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher.

"Hey there, Professor," he said.

Professor Beck turned around in surprise. His beard had grown thicker and also a little more grey, but the warmth in his eyes was the same. "Can't be James Mason, now can it?" he asked, grinning. He held his hand out to shake and James took it.

"Good to see you," he said, sticking his thumbs in his pockets as they let go. "How've you been?"

They turned to watch the dance floor as they caught up, James telling him all about his job as an auror and how his first few years out of school had been, but his attention was partly divided. At least a fourth of it followed Raigan and Dawson wherever they went around the room. It was hard to look away from them. Raigan's smile, even from this distance, was radiant and so genuine. Dawson held her round the waist with one arm and clasped her hand with the other. They looked so classy: Raigan in her black lacy dress and Dawson in neat grey robes. James wondered just how different he and Anna would've looked out there.

He couldn't even imagine asking Anna to dance. It would have felt weird and contrived. She probably would have laughed at him just for asking.

James actually couldn't think of a single girl he'd ever gone out with that he would have felt comfortable dancing with that way. Not even Julianna. It was a sort of intimacy he didn't know, something like a promise. The way Dawson kissed Raigan on the forehead, before pulling her into his arms, her cheek pressed into his chest - that looked like a promise.

About the time that he and Professor Beck said their goodbyes, James realized he had started to relax when he hadn't even known he was tense. Dawson was never going to break Raigan's heart. He would never hurt her. James had known he could trust him with her, but now he saw it.

Out on the dance floor, Dawson, leaned down to whisper something to Raigan and she pulled back her head to listen. As they turned he caught a glimpse of her face, bright and laughing, and James nodded to himself. Dawson would do.

April 2005

By the end of April, James and Elise were a pretty well established couple despite the fact that they had never said as much. One of the things he appreciated about Elise was that she didn't make such a big deal out of definitions and names to make things certain. They both knew how they felt about each other and even though they never said most of it out loud, he didn't feel like they needed to. He felt committed, felt like he was really in a relationship and not just dating, but he hadn't had to deal with any of the parts of commitment that terrified him.

Dawson, on the other hand, was tackling these things head on. He had recently gone to James for advice on a ring which meant a proposal was just around the corner. It wasn't much of a surprise to anyone. He and Raigan had been discussing marriage for at least the last two months - maybe longer, James wasn't sure - but still. It was a big deal. He didn't feel old enough to be thinking about marriage.

He was perfectly happy to be here in a small muggle village not far from Hogsmeade with a pretty walking park. It was the first really spring-like day and the four of them were hanging out for the first time. Raigan had already met Elise once, but this was the first official double date. They had had lunch at a bright little cafe and then had headed over to the park to enjoy the warmer weather.

It wasn't long before Raigan and Dawson had walked off ahead leaving he and Elise alone, sort of. They were holding hands and she was telling him about a potential lead she had on something going on at work. Elise, under two months in, was still very enthralled with the glamour of being an auror. James had been at it long enough it had started to feel a little more like going to work.

"Do you think that's crazy?" she asked and James realized too late that he hadn't been paying attention. It was usually very easy to stay focused on Elise. In fact, she was usually the only thing he could focus on. She had really done him in lately. It was like being back in school and trying to listen to a lecture on transfiguration with Julianna passing notes to him asking to meet after lessons ended, many many hearts dotting her "I's" and "J's" and making a border around the message. Elise was much more subtle, but sometimes she'd be talking about some master plan she had to fight crime and she'd do something simple like reach out to fix the collar of his robes and he'd just be done for.

"No," he bluffed, wishing he knew what she'd been talking about this time. "You always have good ideas."

What he'd actually been paying attention to was Raigan and Dawson up in the distance, walking with their arms linked all classy-like and Raigan leaning ever so slightly into him. Dawson stopped walking in front of a pretty impressive fountain, took his arm out of hers and placed his hand on her low back. He pecked her on the mouth and then pulled her into his side and they set to walking again. There was something about it that was so cinematic, like it had been planned just that way, and yet he knew it was totally natural. They just had everything so together. No one doubted that, despite the fact that had not yet been together a year, they were ready to get married.

James just didn't understand how Raigan, who had probably been on three dates in her life before Dawson (and that might have been a generous estimation), could be so good at this when he, who had been out with so many girls so many times, who was technically so much more experienced than Raigan in the dating world, could be so completely lost.

He tried to stop Elise and kiss her the way Dawson had but when he pulled back she was frowning and said, "What, are you trying to copy?"

James got flustered. She had seen it too then. "Sorry," he muttered, and to cover it up, he pulled her into a brief hug, slid his hands down her arms, and tried to start walking again the way they had been, but Elise put her hands on his face and kissed him. He was glad, as usual, that she took what she wanted without asking, because every bit of cool he had once had was draining away the longer he was with her. James knew that no matter how badly he wanted to things to look as perfect as they did between Raigan and Dawson, what he and Elise had was just different. Luckily, he liked it. A lot.

"So tell me again what you were saying," said James. "So I can listen this time." Elise laughed and began again.

---

And I'm not scared of passing over

Or the thought of growing old

Cause from now until I go

Every night I'll kiss you, you'll say in my ear

Oh we're in love aren't we?

Hands in your hair, fingers and thumbs baby

I feel safe when you're holding me near

Love the way that you conquer your fear

You know hearts don't break around here.

-"Hearts Don't Break Around Here," Ed Sheeran

September 17, 2005

Raigan's engagement went by in a blur. James hardly noticed it. Technically speaking he was a part of the wedding party, but as the only other two members were Dawson's older sisters, Charlotte and Elizabeth, James had not had to be too involved in the planning.

As in, he was not involved. He'd put the date in his calendar and made sure Elise had an official invitation. That was as deep in as he'd gotten.

But then, the day had arrived and all the sudden he was standing in the second row behind Raigan's parents and grandparents watching Raigan stutter through her tears to get the vows out. Her dark hair looked extra shiny tied back in a low bun. He looked at Dawson's face for a second and got unexpectedly emotional so he looked down at the train on Raigan's dress instead and concentrated hard on the detailed stitching. He did not want Elise to see whatever strange look he was sure was on his face so he shifted position so she could stand in front of him and wrapped his arms around her stomach, chin on top of her head. She leaned back into him.

"They look so happy," she whispered. James found he couldn't say anything. Dawson had just begun to say his vows, and Raigan was openly crying now. He'd known she would. She was an emotional person about very certain things. Big life events, particularly happy ones, always got to her. James wondered if Elise would cry on her wedding day. He had never seen her get emotional about anything.

When they began to exchange rings, James couldn't stop imagining the little twelve year old Raigan with her blunt cut bangs and glasses who blushed when someone said the word "kiss." He took a deep breath, trying to calm some of the many feelings swirling around in his stomach. He was so, so happy for both of them, no question about it. But it was more complicated than that. He and Raigan had witnessed each other growing up. She had been his best friend for so long, his only real friend for much of that time. She knew more of secrets than anyone. It was weird to think that he was sharing her now. A few simple words and promises and the dynamic had changed.

Then quite as suddenly as the day had arrived, the ceremony was over. Dawson put one hand on Raigan's cheek, whispered something that made her laugh, and before she'd gotten a handle on herself he'd kissed her. His other hand came to rest between her shoulder blades.

"They do look happy," said James finally, his voice still low even though everyone had broken into applause. "They are."

Outside, James caught up with Raigan who let go of Dawson's hand, her face still covered in tears. She threw her arms around his neck. "Congratulations," said James. He wondered if the feeling of Raigan's hugs would ever be as familiar to Dawson as they were to him.

"Thank you," she whispered. "For everything."

James didn't really think he'd done much of anything at all, but he didn't argue. Instead, he said, "I love you, Rai. I'm really happy for you."

"Love you too," she said. She pulled away, blinked a few times to get her tears under control, gave him a tight smile that wobbled at the ends, and slipped back over to Dawson to greet their guests as they came outside.

When she was gone, he saw Elise, leaning against the wall a few feet to the left of the front doors. He wove his way through the crowd to her and she smiled. She looked very pretty in a navy blue dress with a high neck and her hair in its usual ponytail but dressed up a little for the occasion with loose curls. She was also wearing lipstick, which was unusual. Some very dark purplish shade that made James a little afraid to kiss her.

"I didn't know you cried at weddings," she said.

"I didn't," said James.

"No," said Elise. "But you wanted to."

---

Near the end of the night, when almost everyone - even the band and both Raigan and Dawson's parents - had gone home, the last few of them gathered around one of the round guest tables. They'd already pulled off the table cloths and the centerpieces, stacked all the gifts and cards, and cleared the fairy lights from the ceiling. Raigan had insisted on helping tear everything down. She said she'd feel too guilty. James advised Dawson not to argue. Raigan had made up her mind and no one was going to change it.

But even though he had felt guilty too about watching Raigan clean up her own wedding, he was glad now that they were all still here. Dawson's sisters had remained, along with two of Dawson's best friends from Ilvermorny, James, and Elise. They were all laughing and sharing stories about the new couple, talking over what a great night it had been, when Dawson took Raigan's hand and said, "Can I just share a couple things I wanted to say and didn't? Earlier?"

Raigan looked like she was about to burst into tears again and he hadn't even started yet. James put his arm around Elise and settled in to listen.

"Alright, this is unrehearsed so just... bear with me." Dawson stopped, took a deep breath and looked down at his lap, smiling. "James can attest to this," he said. "Uhm... see Raigan, before we ever went out on our first official date, like a week or so after I met you, I told James I was going to marry you and he laughed but I wasn't kidding. I just knew from the moment you started talking at the ministry thing. There was just something about you."

Raigan covered her face in her hands, sniffled, and then slid her hands over enough that she could look at him again. "You are...." continued Dawson, his eyes bright, "without a doubt the most amazing woman I have ever met. The sweetest, most wonderful person. You are so caring and kind and genuine and funny. God, I don't think anyone really realizes how funny you are."

"I do," said James, raising his eyebrows which made Raigan laugh and she reached across Elise's lap to squeeze his hand.

"Okay, yeah. James knows everything. Secret,s out now. He's my personal Raigan interpreter." Raigan laughed some more at this and tipped over to lean into Dawson's side. "So anyway, I just wanted to tell you that I really love you and I'm... I feel like I could never be scared of anything anymore, because every single day for the rest of my life, I get to wake up and say, 'that's my wife,' and I know that whatever happens, we'll help each other through it." He took another deep breath, put his hand on Raigan's knee and said, "Okay I think that's it."

Raigan covered her mouth again, tried to choke back a sob, and then she turned and kissed him. James looked at Elise, watched her watch them, wishing as always that he was as good an interpreter of her thoughts and feelings as he was of Raigan's.

"I love you too," whispered Raigan. "I love you too."

December 2005

Raigan told James she was pregnant before she even told her parents. This may partly have been due to proximity for she saw him first, but he still had the mind to feel honored. Dawson was practically bursting to tell everyone, but Raigan wasn't quite ready to make a fully public announcement yet. She had only told a few limited people. A few days after he first found out, James passed Dawson in the hall at work, knocking a candy bar out of the vending machine. "James Mason," he said. He straightened up with the candy bar, wrapped his arm around James' shoulders, and steered him into his office. "Just the man I was looking for."

"What can I help you with?" asked James, smirking. This sort of behavior was very typically Dawson.

Dawson took a seat behind his desk, kicked his feet up on top, and leaned back, hands folded. "As it so happens, I'm in the market for a bit of advice, an opinion if you will."

James blinked. It was not often he was asked for advice by anyone. He didn't think he was really qualified to advise anyone on anything except maybe how to perform a better shield charm. He was pretty good at those.

"You see, I'm having a bit of a dilemma about Raigan. I need an interpreter and you're the best I know."

James laughed. This made much more sense. "Alright, what's the problem?"

"Well," said Dawson, peering at James cospiratorily. His ability to keep up a persona was perhaps one of his best qualities as an auror. He could act. And yes, often he used it to make Raigan laugh or just to lighten the mood, but it actually came in quite handy in their business. James didn't know anyone who was better at keeping a straight face. "She's very hesitant to tell anyone about this baby, which I'm having a difficult time wrapping my head around, because she's very excited and it wasn't unplanned, so I wondered if perhaps you, with your infinite wisdom on this wonderfully confusing woman, had any idea as to why?"

"That's an easy one," said James. Dawson frowned at this. "If she tells people she's pregnant, she has to admit that she's had sex."

"Of course we have, we're married," said Dawson, his frown deepening.

"I know that," he said. "But this is Raigan we're talking about."

"Huh," said Dawson, tapping one finger to his nose in thought. After a moment he seemed to decide that this was a great joke and they both began to laugh. It was a long while before they calmed down again, but when they did, Dawson smiled down at his knees and said, "God I love that woman. What a great girl."

July 2007

James could remember every detail of Piper's first birthday party from the fact that Dawson had threatened to smash his face into the cake when Piper decided she wasn't interested in anything but being spoonfed to the fact that Piper fell asleep exactly twenty three minutes into the party and they all had to sit downstairs for an hour and a half talking until she woke up so they could resume the festivities, to the one moment of the day he was not supposed to have seen.

Elise sat on the floor stacking towers for Piper to knock down over and over again (they both thought this was absolutely hilarious) and Raigan and Dawson had gone into the kitchen to clean up the dishes. Though he was really enjoying seeing Elise interact with a baby - the bump was concealed under a loose fitting dress that day and she was so tiny it was impossible to tell - James got up from the couch to go and ask if they needed any help. Right about the time he got to the kitchen door he heard Dawson say, "So listen, I know it's Piper's birthday, but I wanted to give you a gift too. For your first year of motherhood." James took a quick step back. He knew he should go back in the living room, but he found himself frozen, listening.

Dawson was always doing things like this, these sweet, unexpected gestures, and though he pretended these sorts of things were embarrassing and repulsive, James took copious mental notes.

"I guess it's not really a gift," Dawson was saying. "It's a letter sort of. I just wanted to say... I mean I wanted to tell you how proud I am of you. You're such a good mom- I mean mum, and I just wanted to like... write it down for you. So you'll always have it. You inspire me to be a better dad. So thank you. For that."

James knew for sure now that he should stop listening so he crept back into the living room, already trying to concoct a plan to trick Raigan into showing him that list. It wouldn't be that hard. She'd be embarrassed about it, but he also knew Raigan loved those sorts of gestures. She would want to tell someone about it. It was just that he was about to be a dad too and he was probably even more terrified than Elise was.

---

Raigan did show him that letter, about a week later. He didn't even have to trick her into it. She showed it to him right away. And several days after that, exactly thirteen days after Piper's first birthday, Dawson was killed. And James could never separate his memory of the party from his knowledge that that was the last time he ever saw the two of them together.

Maybe he would have forgotten about the letter if Elise hadn't lost the baby. Maybe he would have forgotten if nothing bad had ever happened at all. Or maybe he would have forgotten if it had all turned bad a month or two down the road instead of the mere few days that passed between when he saw it and when Dawson died, but as it was, James did not forget.

Instead, one day not long after the funeral, when Piper was down for her nap and Raigan had just shut herself in her room after telling James to go home and rest for a bit, he took a pitstop on his was to the floo powder, opened up the guestbook and found the letter tucked inside. He knew Raigan had been carrying it around the last few days, reading it over and over. He had watched her put it in this very place only an hour before. He took it out, spread it flat and duplicated it, pocketed the copy and put the original back where he found it.

And even though he was no longer about to become a dad, even though he didn't know yet that he was setting himself up to become Piper's father-figure, James had the idea that Dawson's words would be very important to him, and so he committed them to memory.

---

To my darling Raigan.

What twenty three year old in the world could have been as ready to raise a child as you were?

I never thought I could be any more proud of you than I was the day Piper was born one year ago, watching you do what had to be have been the hardest and most important thing you had ever done, but I was so, so wrong. I am more proud of you every single day.

In your first year of motherhood you have inspired me over and over again with your ability to problem solve the countless tricky situations we've run into already, to let your unconditional love be the guiding voice in the way you teach and interact with Piper, and through the pure joy you find in getting to know her. What a special little person we are raising and I credit most of that to you. Here are some of the ways you have inspired me and taught me:

Thank you for showing me how to be kinder, how to be more patient, how to let things go.

Thank you for showing me how to laugh at the mistakes we make, (all three of us - let us not forget the great Poopsplosion, the Vanished Lovie Debacle, or the Condiment vs Baby Food Incident. Not pointing fingers but each of us are at fault for one of those), and thank you for showing me how to fix them. You always keep your head. I don't know how you manage it.

Thank you for constantly pointing out the little things I hope I never forget and for writing them down so I can remember them if I ever do forget. From the date and time she first crawled to the way she sleeps with one arm over her head to the funny faces she makes (and what they mean - how did you learn to speak baby like that?), you have a record of it all.

Thank you for celebrating every first and every second and every third and every one hundred and twenty second and for reminding me that these things will always be a big deal, even when they seem normal. How have we taken this little nugget they handed you at the hospital on July 13, 2006 and turned her into this giggling, semi-solid-food eating, speed crawling, almost-walking goofball we have now? Everything she does is a success. Everything is a cause for celebration. Thank you for showing me that.

Thank you for being genuinely happy to get up in the middle of the night for the fourth time to go and love on that little one, even when you were exhausted and overworked because you knew that her crying was not her fault, that she was not doing it on purpose or to spite us. You taught me how to find the joy in the things people warned me would be the bad things, how to see an extra half hour of rocking Piper back to sleep at four AM on a work night as a an extra half an hour with my daughter and not as a half an hour less sleep.

Thank you for teaching me to change a diaper, to hold her head up, to monitor tummy time, to properly fold a swaddle, to prepare a bottle, and to do pretty much everything. I don't even know how you knew how to do it, but then, I was never surprised when you did. Again, no one could possibly be more suited to motherhood than you.

Thank you for teaching our daughter, even as a tiny baby, to be kind and loving and gentle, to be generous, to be gracious, to be grateful, to be driven, and to be joyful. I know you will continue to set a beautiful example for her and there is no woman in the world I would rather have my daughter grow up aspiring to be like. I hope I am half as good a father as you are a mother. You are perfect in every way for me and for Piper and we both love you so much. Thank you thank you thank you.

I love you always,

Dawson