"Please don't make me go."

"Too bad," Grace grabs a pillow and smacks me with it. Twice. "This is what you get for dragging me to all the parties I didn't want to go to. Now I'm dragging you."

"But why do you even want to go?" I sit up and scowl. "You hate parties and suddenly you're up for this one?"

"It's a bonfire," She corrects. "I love reading on the beach so yes, I want to go. But I'm not going alone so take your grumpy butt out of bed already."

"I'm not grumpy."

"You said grumpily."

"I'm fine!"

"You said sadly."

"I'm not sad," I groan and dive face-first on my bed.

"You have a face full of makeup and you just got it all over your bedsheets. You're definitely sad."

Shit. I sit up and wince at the streaks of lipstick on there before looking at Grace again. "Okay. Point made. But I still don't want to go."

"And I still don't care," She grabs me by the ankles and yanks. I yelp as I slide off the bed and land on my ass, groaning at the burst of pain shooting up my spine.

"Grace! When the fuck did you get so violent?"

"I blame you. Your temper rubbed off on me."

"And I think your anti-socialism rubbed off on me because I really don't want to go. Please."

She sighs and sits down, joining me on the floor. "You don't want to go because you know Beck is going to be there."

"Nu-uh," I mumble unconvincingly. But she's right and we both know it.

I selfishly believed Beck and I would be fine. Hoped is the better word. I selfishly hoped Beck and I would be fine. After our kiss exploded in our face I was anxious to see him in class but he didn't show up. I knew in my gut he was avoiding me. When he texted me later in the day I thought it was just a misunderstanding, more so when I read his casual text. Did I miss anything important? Twisted my ankle at practice. I was relieved that he wasn't avoiding me on purpose but that didn't mean we were okay. That was made all too clear from the way he was texting me. I could tell his tone was off and when I asked if I could come see him, bring some food or anything he needed, he said it was better I didn't. Now his teammates are hosting this beach bonfire and from the Instagram stories I saw Beck looks perfectly fine. I know he's not the type of person who would lie about an injury but it did seem like he exaggerated it to get out of class.

"Come on," Grace urges softly. "Even if he's there so what? It's like ripping off a bandaid. You guys just have to get over this awkward lump and then you'll be fine."

"I know," I say because she's right. Beck is too sweet to hold a grudge. I know we'll be fine down the road. I just hate that things are going to be weird for a while. "Okay, fine. Whatever. But we come home after an hour?"

"Deal," She stands up and grabs my hands, taking me with her. "Now get ready and dress warm."

"It's the end of fall. I don't understand why this party is on a beach of all places."

"Me neither but I guess these are the times in our lives we get to be stupid and reckless. If not now, then when?"

"Aren't we feeling wise today?" I smack her ass as I pass her and open up my closet. "I hate dressing warm and cute. It takes forever to look presentable."

"Just throw something on."

"Have you met me? I never leave the house without a coordinated outfit."

Grace shakes her head with a smile and leaves my room to get ready herself. We don't take more than half an hour putting ourselves together. I redo my makeup into something lighter and more natural, and I go with tight-fitting black joggers and a simple white full sleeve shirt for clothes. I leave my short hair down since it's cooperating with me today and is sitting naturally wavy. Grabbing a leather jacket that should keep me warm as the evening turns into night, I put on a pair of converse that I can sacrifice getting dirty and meet Grace at the door.

We drive down to Carson beach where the bonfire is being held. As soon as I pull into the surrounding plaza I can already see all the students heading down to where the shore is. I find a free parking spot and Grace and I get out of the car, following the crowd of students. I can't help but look around nervously and I hate it. I'm usually not this person — anxious and avoidant. But the truth is, the one I've withheld from Grace, is that I'm trying to avoid two people today. Bumping into Beck is one thing, but bumping into Lucas is another.

God, I still can't believe what he did even though it's been nearly a week. It humiliates me to think I'd actually been caught up in the way he was touching that girl, watching me like he wished his hands were on me instead. I'd never seen him look at me that way before — like he wanted me so bad he was losing his mind right in front of me — and I was enthralled. I stood there and watched, fucking watched, and was actually turned on. It was like I could feel his touch and it felt like everything he was doing to her, he was doing to me instead. It wasn't until she had to freaking moan his name that I realized how twisted the whole thing was and snapped myself out of it, bolting out of the library from sheer humiliation. If I have to look him in the eye today, I might just explode. This game of ours went too far and I mean what I told him yesterday. I'm done.

"Want to sit here?" Grace's question snaps me out of it. I blink and realize we already made it to the beach.

There are people everywhere walking around and drinking from solo cups. Music is cranked up and playing as background noise. A few guys are assembling a bonfire as the sun starts to disappear behind the horizon, the sky a deep purple and orange. It's cold as hell but still, I wouldn't mind sitting here and killing a few hours.

"Thanks for dragging me," I lean my head on Grace's shoulder, staring out as the ocean waves crashes against the shore in hushed noises. I listen to the soothing sound instead of the chaos in my head and I can finally breathe for once. I didn't realize how badly I needed a break from my head and my life.

"You're welcome," She leans her head on mine for a moment and gently pulls me down until we're sitting. She opens up her bag to me which has an impressive number of books. "Want to read anything?"

"I'm okay," I answer without taking my gaze off the view. "This works just fine."

"Okay," She sets her bag down and uses it as a pillow, lying back. I draw my knees up to my chin and continue watching the waves, finding it oddly therapeutic.

I don't know how much time passes by but the sun gradually deepens in colour. The purple gives way to blue and then a deep navy blue. Brushes of black start to streak within the blue and the world around us goes dark. Pretty soon there are about three or four fires lit up that cast an orange glow around the beach. People start to get rowdier now that they've had an hour to get drunk. The calmness in the atmosphere is slowly starting to disappear and I look at Grace.

"We should leave soon," I suggest.

She barely acknowledges that, chewing on the edge of her thumb as she speedily reads what's in front of her. "Mhmm. One more chapter."

I roll my eyes. That means at least another five. I shove her shoulder slightly. "Scooch."

She moves over until I have room to rest my head on her bag too. We're cramped but whatever. I stare up at the sky and try to connect the stars until I can find a constellation. It serves as a good distraction until I remember I still have to complete my project and then I remember why I'm so behind. The thought of Lucas makes my head hurt. I don't know what to think anymore. I've always known we'd never get along after our major fallout but this is something else entirely. Ever since I came back to Boston we've done nothing but try to hurt each other even more and for what? To feed our egos and prove that we don't care about each other no matter what the other does? It's messed up. I realize that. I take responsibility for feeding into it. I'm only sorry I let it get this far. I wish I'd never agreed to play along to his games because somewhere along the way, in the most fucked up way, I started caring about him.

I know him better than anyone. I've been at the forefront of his cruelty for months. I know the last thing I should feel are all the things I'm feeling for him. But somewhere in there is my best friend. I see glimpses of him, if even for a moment. Somewhere in there is the guy who beat up Cole Richards when he pushed me at recess, and then kissed my scraped palms until I stopped crying. Somewhere in there is the guy who rejected the hottest girl in his grade just because he heard her making fun of me. Somewhere in there is the guy who would watch all of my dance practices and cheer me on, even when I sucked horrifically. Maybe it's dumb for me to cling onto who he was in the past but I still think that person lives in him. I think he's buried under all the pain and misery and anger. I know it, in fact.

For the millionth time my mind wanders to that day four years ago. Our kiss. I'd been in love with Lucas all my life — my protector, my best friend, my other half. We were always stuck at the hip growing up and even as a kid I knew that what I felt for him was love. The older I got, the deeper my feelings became, and there was no hiding how crazy I was for him. One day when we were lying side by side on my bed like always, I couldn't help myself. I kissed him and crossed the line of our friendship for the first time. He was stunned at first and I nearly pulled back in embarrassment until he sighed softly in my mouth, slipped a hand behind my neck and kissed me back. I'd felt it all the way down to my toes and just by closing my eyes, I can feel it now.

"Shit," Lucas muttered and pulled away. He pressed his forehead to mine, breathing hard. "We can't."

"Why?" I'd whispered. My cheeks grew warm self-consciously.

"Livvy," He propped up on an elbow and stared down at me, eyes tender. "I'm seventeen. You're fourteen. It's just not right. You're still young."

"But I know what I feel," I offered anyways, heart beating faster when I realized he didn't deny feeling the same way.

"I know," He smiled and cupped my face. His thumb brushed across my cheek. "I've always known. That's why someday you're going to be mine, firecracker."

"How do you know that?"

"Because you always have been."

I close my eyes now with my heart lodged in my throat like a boulder. I thought I had everything that day, everything I ever wanted. But something changed. Lucas changed. It was like a switch had gone off in him and brought out his darkest side. To this day I don't know what happened but it was the beginning of his turning point. From then on he just became angrier, darker. Now he's losing everything and I've learned that there aren't limits to Lucas' darkness or his pain. He wears them like armour and I don't think I'll ever get through to him.

I sit up suddenly when it all becomes too much. Wanting him is too heart-aching. It's just a reminder of what I'll never have because he's proved that time and time again and I should know better by now.

I reach for my pockets so I can check my phone, wanting to know the time, and come up empty.

"Crap," I sigh. I look down at Grace. "I left my phone in the car. I'll be right back?"

She waves me off, still reading even though she has to squint now to see in the dark. I doubt the glow of the bonfires is helping much.

I get to my feet and dust away the grains of sand. As I make my way to the parking lot, I can't help but notice the hockey team lounging on some blankets surrounded by a group of giggling girls. Among the huddle is Beck who happens to make eye contact with me. His eyes flash with something I can't recognize before his mouth tightens and he barely jerks his head in acknowledgment. It's a disappointing reaction so I just hold a hand up briefly and look away. I guess only time can fix the awkwardness and I'll let it. It's safe to say my life is busy enough and I don't need the added drama.

I look around the dark parking lot trying to remember where I parked my car. I'm so out of it I can't even remember. I have to stop and stand to try and recall but my thoughts are interrupted by a loud whistle. It came from somewhere behind me and when I look, there's a group of obviously drunk guys.

"Olivia West, right?" One guy slurs. "You're hot as fuck."

Gross. I turn away, not up for dealing with the idiots.

"That compliment wasn't good enough, man," One is his friends spurs him on. I feel my jaw tighten with impatience.

"You can shake your ass like nobody's business," The guy adds and his friends erupt into laughter, cheering him on. I grit my teeth and debate saying something back but he beats me to it again. "Think I could pay for a private show or are you exclusive to family members only?"

"Hijo de puta," I spin on my heel, prepared to knock him out if I have to. You don't grow up the daughter of a professional fighter and not know how to kick ass.

"Say that again."

All of us jerk at the new voice that seemingly comes out of nowhere. My stomach drops when Lucas strolls into view. Seriously? I have no idea how much of that conversation he heard but I do know that I'm humiliated as hell. I fought him tooth and nail to prove I'm not a slut and these idiots just showed him otherwise. God, I wish I could disappear right now.

"You fucking deaf?" Lucas demands when no one answers. His gaze is trained on the guy who was talking to me and even in the dark I can see the way his eyes swirl with anger. "Say that again."

The guy looks at his friends with a smirk and then back to Lucas. "I asked her for a private show. Think you could share her with me?"

My breath knocks out of me from sheer embarrassment. I know his words are drunken and untrue but that doesn't mean they don't sting.

Lucas chuckles, a low and controlled sound that makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. He slowly stalks up to the guy and stands at his full height. He's not only several inches taller than him but broader too and it's like the guy finally registers that, taking one step back.

"I'll never understand dumbasses like you," Lucas clucks his tongue. "I might not be a professional like my father, but you should know I fight just like him. Want to see?"

As soon as he asks, before any of us can so much as blink, Lucas grabs him by the throat and slams him down on the hood of the car behind him. His arm rears back and he swings a right cross to his face that snaps the guy's head to the side. His friends try to jump in but it's pointless. Lucas grabs the first one and slams his head against the windshield and he goes down with a groan. Friend three doesn't have any luck either when Lucas twists his arm behind his back and kicks the back of his leg, sending him down on a scream. He turns back to the guy who insulted me and grabs his face, punching him on the nose. There's a loud crack and he cries out, squirming while Lucas sneers down at him.

"Keep her name out of your mouth," His tone is absolutely lethal. "Or I break that next. Believe that I'll enjoy every second of it too."

"Lucas!" I finally find my voice. All I could do was watch in disbelief as he took them down but I snap out of it, realizing what he's done as I hastily look at all three of them. They're bruised and battered. They could press charges for fuck's sake. "That's enough. Back away before you make it worse."

He cuts his eyes to me, hard and void. But I don't back down and when he realizes I'm not going to let him go any further, he drops the guy without so much as a glance and heads for me. I take a few steps back as he prowls forward, not sure what to expect.

"Are you insane?" I ask shakily. "How could you do that?"

"How could he talk to you like that?" He snaps back. "And then say it to my face? I don't sympathize for the stupid."

My laughter is full of disbelief. He can't be serious. "Oh, don't worry about that, Lucas. You've said way worse to me."

His footsteps stop abruptly and maybe for the first time since seeing him after four years, the hardness on his face cracks. His brows come together as he stares at me. Just stares. His expression is as solemn as I've ever seen it.

"Livvy," He starts softly and my breath catches. I can't listen to him call me that. I can't remember what we were because we're not that anymore. I can't keep hurting myself like this.

"Leave me alone," I whisper and abruptly take off for my car. By some miracle I finally remember where it is and I try to walk there as fast as I can when I hear him behind me.

"Wait," He demands and I quicken my steps. I breathe a sigh of relief when my car comes into view and I jog the rest of the way to it, hearing an irritated growl. "Damn it, Olivia!"

Fuck him. I don't want to hear anything he has to say to me. Why should I? Because I owe it to him? Yeah fucking right.

I reach for the door handle but before I can pull it open I'm grabbed by the shoulders and spun around. A gasp gets caught in my throat when Lucas backs me up against the car, his body pressing into me to keep me in place. I try to wiggle my way free but it's no use. He has me right where he wants me.

"Get off, asshole!" I try to raise my leg to knee him in the balls but he sees it coming and moves out of the way. He pushes one of his legs between mine so I can't move them either. Hell. There isn't a part of him that isn't freaking plastered to me. He's everywhere and it's overwhelming. He's literally physically everywhere because he's so much bigger than me. The heat of him, the feel of him, the scent of him — I'm trapped in it. My chest heaves as I glare up at him. "Get. Off."

"No," He says evenly. He glares down at me too. "Stop fighting."

"I thought that's what you wanted," I mock. "Fighting me amuses you, right? Hurting me gives you satisfaction."

His eyes flicker and they look so vibrant in this moment. His jaw visibly clenches as he shakes his head. "That's not true."

"Like hell it isn't." I jerk my body in another attempt to get away and he presses against me harder. What the hell is he doing? We're practically molded together. "Lucas."

"What did you mean when you said you're done?" He demands. He bends his head, getting in my face. "What did you mean, Olivia?"

His breath skates over me. I have an odd urge to shiver even though I'm hot all over. I can feel every hard ridge of his body and the way it presses into the softness of mine. My pulse races in more places than one, confusing me.

"I meant that I'm not playing your stupid game anymore," I grit out. His closeness is making my head spin, making me feel things I don't want to feel. "You proved your point, okay? You proved you couldn't give two fucks about me."

His eyes harden. "That's what you think?"

"What the hell am I supposed to think?"

He catches my chin with his fingers roughly and jerks my head up until I have no choice but to look at him. "If I don't give a fuck about you then why can't I stay away from you? Why do I still think about us when we were fucking destroyed four years ago? Tell me, Olivia."

"I don't know," I jerk my head away from his grasp until he releases me. My pulse pounds in my ears, making me dizzy. "Why do you go out of your way to hurt me? Why do you think acting this way will fix your pain? Tell me, Lucas."

"I don't know," He slams his hand on the car door beside my head. I barely hold back a flinch. "I don't fucking know anymore. I thought I had it figured out but you...you're...fuck."

He's heaving now, eyes absolutely enraged. He looks as frustrated as I feel. He's right — neither of us knows what this is anymore. The answer was so clear in the beginning but it became blurry along the way and now we don't know what happens. There's only now and right now, the only thing I can feel is exhaustion. I'm tired of fighting him and myself. I'm tired of pretending like he doesn't get to me. I'm tired of trying to win this stupid game. I fucking surrender.

"Damn it, Lucas," I whisper, knowing in my heart I've lost to him. His brows furrow and that's all I register before I reach up to grab his face and yank it down, crushing my lips to his.

Oh, God. What am I doing? It's all I can think even as I press my mouth harder to his. I'm on sensory overload and I can't think straight. I'm too aware of him. The feel of his five o'clock shadow prickling my palms, the softness of his lips, the way his body is pressed into mine — it's all overshadowing my common sense. I think I'm drunk on Lucas Cage and I might have just made my stupidest mistake yet.

Until he kisses me back.

Like snapping out of a trance, he presses his lips to mine so hard they feel bruised. His groan, a deep sound full of relief, engulfs the quiet of the night and rings in my ears. It's like I can feel the sound vibrate in the back of my throat and I can't help but moan in response. His hands grab my waist and lift me up without effort and my legs lock around his torso instinctively. My back digs into the car as he pushes me against it and holds me there with his body. One of his hands slides into my hair at the back of my head and yanks it back hard, earning my gasp. Lucas takes full advantage when he slips his tongue into my mouth in one hot and smooth stroke, his other hand gripping my throat to lock me right where he wants me.

This is nothing like our first kiss. That was child's play, an innocent peck at most. This kiss is a battle. He's aggressive in the way his mouth works me, opening and closing over my lips while his tongue works me just as hard. He's greedy for me, using his hold on my hair to bend my head back as far as it can go and get as much as of my mouth as possible. The hand on my throat tightens for one fast moment and my breath catches, feeling the heat of his own breaths bursting into my mouth like he's trying to give me his air. He lets my throat go and I gasp in relief, but then that gasp turns into a breathless moan when his hand glides down the column of my neck before he reaches into the collar of my shirt and takes hold of one breast. His large hand cups me completely and he squeezes hard enough to make it painful and pleasurable at the same time. My body reacts, back arching and silently begging for more. He complies when his hand slips into the cup until he's cupping me bare and his thumb circles my hardening nipple, feeling what he does to me.

When he presses his body into mine harder, I can feel what I'm doing to him too. His hardness pokes the inside of my thigh and my pulse pounds between my legs excitedly. I'm operating on hormones alone as I roll my hips and grind down on him, earning his growl and making him all the more aggressive. He pinches and tugs my nipple at the same time he bites down on my lip and a cry escapes me because it's too much, too good. I kiss him desperately. I don't know how to stop. I don't think I want to.

"Fuck," He mumbles deeply against my lips, letting go of my breast to grip my ass and helping me rock on him faster. "Fuck, Livvy."

That's the one that does it. By calling me something I no longer am to him, reality washes over me like ice cold water and I flinch, pushing him back. I think I take him by surprise because he lets go right away and backs up. He blinks at me, eyes hazy and mouth swollen. He hasn't even registered what I've done yet.

"No more," I hold a hand up to stop him when he tries to take a step toward me. I grip the door handle of my car to hold myself up because my knees are so weak they might give up on me. "Are you happy, Lucas? You win. I gave in first."

He's still breathing hard but now I can't tell if it's because of the kiss or the fact that I've pissed him off. "This isn't what I meant."

"I don't care," I snap and give him my back. I'm barely able to unlock the car door because of how bad my hands are shaking. "You win, okay? Game over. We're over."

He doesn't say anything as I get in the car and slam the door shut. I can feel his eyes on me as I hastily text Grace to meet me at the front of plaza so we can go home. I need to forget this night ever happened, that this kiss ever happened. I put the car into drive and back out of my parking spot with a tight throat. My eyes meet Lucas's for a split second but they tell me everything I need to know — this isn't over.

I can't drive away fast enough. I may be able to run from him but I can't run away from the way my lips pulse, reminding me of what I've just done.

__________________________

A/N

HO-LY JE-SUS.

I meannnnn, did you guys feel that kiss in your souls or was it just me? ELECTRIC. Now that they've finally given in to each other you can expect their turning point to spin you on your ass! You guys are not ready AT ALL.

Also, I've posted the dedications for RAZE, the novella on Greg! It releases next Saturday (ALL AT ONCE FOR THOSE WHO MISSED THAT EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT) so you can start adding it to your libraries so that you're notified as soon as I press publish! I hope you love it.

Please VOTE, comment and share if you liked this chapter!

Happy Reading :)