Writter: FantasyCreature123

Reviewer: Victory_in_Winters13

Title (9/10)

The title which is now changed was literally what prodded me to visit your book and give it a total chance.I really found your title quite inquisitive which made me tick the chapters you have done till now.

Cover (5/10)

Your cover does mention a clan and I think the cover made was only seeing forests which makes a bit sense when characters would move and that part also is not clear.Apparently.since your title is a clan,you could have mingled people instead of only showing trees.

Sensory details (10/10)

You did manage to bring in a good job in that because since Beyblade was one series I liked growing up, you did a good job in that that too especially showing Tyson's behaviour along with others.You did a great job in protraying Moonlight and Petal too but mostly I did like the sensory details you projected through Petal than any other character which I must say you did a great job.

Blurb (8/10)

I liked the blurb of the story where you actually did a great job of the Bladebreakers visiting India and the new journey towards the twilight clan but I felt that that could have been done in an enigmatic sort of way which I felt that there,it lacked.

Setting (10/10)

You did a great job by showing the setting pictures which I could literally envision in front of me that what would happen and do not mention of the sudden craving I had for panipuris I had whole you mentioned it.You described India in a way like it is really a place everyone should venture into.

Character plot (6/10)

Since this is a fanfiction fantasy,it made sense that you included characters but I felt that you couldn't explain the absence of Kenny who was the managing director for the Beyblade group which is a minor point I found quite criticising because you never knew whom would the readers love.Secondly,I felt that Moonlight and Petal's personality is not thoroughly exploited although the information is provided in bits and pieces.Thirdly,when you intend to show the POV's please ensure that you actually try to include all the main characters from which you missed Tyson's POV. Lastly,when you show romance between two characters don't go in the cliched way which did kind of dimmed Ray's character which is usually not like that.Try to bring something that's bold and unique which would be really appreciated.

Plot(10/15)

Your plot had great flow with it and you did successfully manage to cover the blurb nearly which is a great job.Sometimes,it seems to have gone way beyond the topic but still you do a great job in managing the characters' perspective which is actually essential.I am disappointed that you did not bring in the dream apart from prologue which would have made more clear in the plot of the story.That's where I felt that it would be a bit easy but don't forget to show that even if they are in India they still played Beyblade.

Grammar and spelling mistakes(5/10)

As far as your story is concerned,its a good plot but the words that aptly define them actually lacks here which would actually intrigue the reader and prod them to learn more.There were unnecessary details about some things which could be better improved with thoroughly looking through the rules or use digital apps which can help improve your grammar.If this issue was not persisting,I would have read it with zeal.If a good book has impeccable grammar then I believe you can take on the world.That's something which was lacking.

Overall impression(10/15)

Apparently,I believe that the book has great potential to reach heights but grammar(especially vocabulary) and a bit of plot holes prevent it from reaching to it's absolute vigour.The story was going great and I hope it would really have a fantastic adventure ahead.A tip would be to brainstorm what you plan to do before you plan to write a chapter so that you get to know that if something is wrong and revisit your earlier chapters regularly so that the plot remains consistent even if there is a side plot.It would be to give introductions to the characters in the beginning because sometimes with other animations looking similar character appearances although colour is different,it can be a bit confusing and also include from which season you are actually beginning from so that a person gets a fair clue where would the story go forth with.Your reviewers could actually cut off scores for the same.That is also important or else you leave the readers to confusion that from where the story begins.I hope this helps you further and good luck.

Marks achieved: 73/100