Couldn't sleep last night, so I went to school very tired even after grabbing a Rain energy drink on my way to school. I don't drink coffee because it tastes like shit. Spent all night thinking about Felicia. After all this time she still plagues my thoughts though saying that isn't necessarily a bad thing. Was reflecting on what we had when we were together. All the fun times we had but as I looked at them all I saw was someone I didn't recognize anymore. Though I won't lie, a part of me yearns to go back to being that same person but it would ignore everything that's happened and what's changed. At the same time my heart doesn't feel the same when I think about her like I used to.

"You look like the walking dead", Peter said walking up next to me.

"Really that noticeable? just had a hard time sleeping last night had a lot on my mind"

"Thinking about someone?", Peter said with a smirk. Hitting his arm lightly he chuckled before someone stood in my path, Gwen with arms crossed and stern look.

"Ah shit, Gwen, ever happened I didn't do it and I'm really not in the mood today due to lack of sleep", I said groaning. Her stern look just got worse to the point it almost turned into a glare.

"So it seems you two are back together". Now she had a glare. Not sure where this anger is stimming from though.

"me and Felicia? no! And why the hell would you care?", I said extremely confused.

"Nice to know your standards are the same, be better my ass", she says before storming off. Me and Peter both shared a look before continuing onto class.

"That was..weird", I said, stating the obvious.

"Did she seem..hurt to you?", Peter asked, not very confident with his remark. I just gave him a "what?" look.

"That's got to be the single most ridicul....AH!". I was cut off feeling a weight on my back but thankfully I didn't trip. Hearing the laugh that followed made me realize who it was.

"Felicia, off", I said, earning a pout as she jumped off my back. Turning around he had her arms behind her back leaning forward with a playful smile.

"Sure you're not a thing still?", Peter asked.

"I swear to god Peter I will hit you harder!", I said, sending a glare his way. Felicia just laughed as she walked past us. Giving him one more glare I caught up to Felicia.

"Reason why you jumped on my back like that?", I asked walking next to her. At this point I noticed people giving us looks. Oh god I really hope no one thinks we're back together. who am I kidding it's high school! of course they're thinking that! Fuck them anyway.

"Thought it would be fun. I remember you liking when I did that"

"More annoyed than liked"

"Still grumpy as ever", she said laughing. Couldn't help but let out a little chuckle.

"How's your guy's morning going so far?", she asked.

"Fine, just really sleepy and had a strange interaction with gwen"

"Oh I love Gwen! I love her style, wish she liked me though", Felicia said a little let down. I couldn't help but laugh knowing the reason.

"Guilty by association Felicia. hates me guts and for good reason at the time. Still does actually"

"What was strange about your interaction? she try to stab you?"

"HA! I'm sure if someone gave her a knife she would. Her father might just help her cover up the crime. She thinks we're back together and shot that down real quick", I said. For a split second I saw Felicia's smile drop for a moment before quickly returning. To anyone else they wouldn't have noticed but for me I did, we may not be dating anymore but we can still read each other. Something is bothering her. Suddenly the bell went off which meant we had to get to class.

"There's the bell, I'll see you either at lunch or the party. See you guy's later!", she said, running away with a wave.

"We're still going right?", Peter asked hopefully.

"I said we're going so we're going"

"I just never been to a party before", Peter said nervously.

"Don't worry, I'll be there. You'll be fine"

---------------------------------------------------------------

"This was a mistake"

"You haven't even been here for ten minutes Peter"

We just got to the party and it was already full of people. Music was blasting with everyone already having a good time. Peter though I could tell was tense mixed with anxiety. Good thing I may know a good way to help. Grabbing his arm I walked around trying to find the kitchen. Walking in, sure enough there were a few full kegs, perfect. Grabbing a red cup I filled it up with whatever beer was in before handing it to peter.

"What?"

"Drink that whole thing empty, it'll burn and probably taste disgusting but trust me", I said, getting him to drink it. With an uncertain look he raised the cup chugging it but when he was about to stop I held the cup up making sure he drank the whole thing. After peter coughed a few times before I grabbed him by his shoulders.

"How do you feel?"

"That was gross but I don't feel as tense anymore"

"Good it's working, should take off the edge just watch how much you drink ok?"

"Jacky! Peter! you made it!"

(Still has white hair)

"Peter all right?", she said, noticing his nervousness. Grabbing his cup I filled it up again and handed it back to him.

"First time being at a party", I said as he drank the whole thing again with no hesitation. Impressive for a first timer, just better watch his intake.

"Come dance with me!", Felicia suddenly said, grabbing my arm and pulling me away.

"Don't drink too much!!", I yelled as I got dragged away. Peter was about to say something but I couldn't hear him. Feel bad about ditching him, oh wait is that MJ walking up to him? never mind, he'll be fine.

Pulling me to the dance floor she started swaying with the music. I hated when she would do this, I wasn't much of a dancer but she still tried to get me to do it anyways. Grabbing my hands she put them on her waist as she snaked her arms around me. It wasn't a slow song playing but it didn't matter to her, she always moved to her own music. We started swaying with the music as we locked eyes, everything fading into the background. Her usual playful smile was replaced with one full of happiness that was infectious. Suddenly she spun around pressing her back against my chest as my arms hugged her as we continued to sway.

"Still not the dancer huh?", she said, leaning her head back.

"Never was"

"I missed you, you know", she suddenly said. Suddenly my body stopped hearing that. Sensing my body stop she spun around arms snaked around my neck again getting us moving with the music again. Then her hand rested on the side of my head as I looked down at her as her lips slowly moved closer to mine.

"Didn't you?"

"Typical". We both stopped before we both looked toward the voice to see Gwen the angriest I've ever seen her. Surprised to see her here honestly.

"Gwen! So nice to see you! wasn't sure you would", Felicia said but I could tell she was disappointed we were interrupted. Was always good at hiding things, too much sometimes.

"Don't act like we're friends skank"

"Whoa! uncalled for Qwen!", I said standing between them. Wanted to stop a fight from breaking out, strange. Usually I'm one for a fight but not this one!

"Look at you being the knight in shining armor, can't say it fits you Parker!". ok, now I'm getting really pissed off. I'm used to Gwen being mad at me for multiple things but taking it out on someone else just by being associated with me is pushing it.

"First off Fuck off Gwen! you don't get to judge me. On top of that I'm fine when you take your anger out on me, I caused it so it makes sense but I won't tolerate it when you take it out on one of my friends! So back off Gwen, if you need to blow up on someone let it be me", I said glaring down at her. She looked up at me when tears formed in her eyes. My glare soon vanished as I became guilty.

"Always the anger Jack, always the anger", she said as a tear ran down her face. Wiping away her tears she walked away.

"What's her problem?", Felicia asked.

"Don't know, but I'm going to find out. We can continue this talk when I get back ok?". Felicia crossed her arms with a sad look giving me a nod as I chased after Gwen.

Moving through the crowd I tried to find where Gwen went. Stopping for a moment looking around I caught the glimpse of her blonde hair as she walked out to the balcony. Pushing through the crowd I was able to make it outside. Looking around I saw Gwen sitting on a chair, her knees rolled up to her chest looking out across the city. Oh god, time for another empathy lesson it seems. Here we go.

Walking up slowly I saw Gwen was full on crying now. Honestly not sure how to approach this. Guess I'll just wing it then. Putting my hands in my pocket I got closer. She saw me but didn't say a word before hiding her face in her knees. I took a seat next to her on a separate chair wanting to give her space. Seeing her like this made me think of the other Gwen which hurt me a bit but I didn't know why.

"Gwen, I know we have our issues with each other which started because of me. So you don't have to say anything but, what's going on? why have you been so moody lately? and why do you hate me so much?". All I got for silence for a time with Gwen continuing to hide her face. Seeing this was going no where I stood up going to walk away, a waste of my time.

"It hurts me you know". She finally broke her silence leading me to sitting down again.

"I remember when I first saw you. You were this lucky guy with a smile that lit up a room. Everyone wanted to be your friend or wanted to know you. You were kind and cared about how everyone felt. I admired that about you, but after the death of your parent's. I watched you turn into this bitter person lashing out at anyone that wanted to help and pushing those you close to you away. Turning a social life into a solitary one. Seeing you become this person full of so much anger and hatred I began to no longer recognize you", Gwen said her tears gone but her eyes still puffy. Not knowing what to say I just stood in silence before she spoke again.

"I wanted so badly to be there for you but was too scared to try because I was scared of the person you became. Every day as I saw you, part of me began to hate you because the Jack I knew died and you were some imposter! It wasn't the stupid pranks that made me hate you! it's who you killed that did! Then to see you with Felicia was the twist of the dagger. Seeing how happy she was with you and you with her made me see the old you. How come she was able to bring you back? But not me?", she said, her sadness turning to anger. Looking at her all I felt was guilt and pity. Guilt that I hurt her unintentionally so bad and pity that she's held onto this anger for so long, like I'm one to talk though. Then again the difference here is her anger is geared toward one person.

"Why do you care so much Gwen?", I asked confused with everything she's said.

"Because I fell in love with you, you idiot!!!", she said, starting to cry again. Hearing those words surprised me and caught me off guard but for some reason she wasn't the one I wanted to hear it from. Standing up I walked up looking down at Gwen as her eyes glared at me.

"You're right, the Jack you knew is gone and never coming back. That was an older me, one that quickly changed into who you see now due to trauma and loss. I can tell you this though and it's going to be blunt but at the time I didn't love you back in any way. Which is good because I would have dragged you down with me". Her glare became sharper but looking away for a moment I saw someone swinging away. Looks like I have some other loose ends to tie up. Standing up I walked away saying my final words.

"Move on Gwen, I'm not worth it"