***

The next three days passed in a haze for Rika. All his thoughts and feelings were focused on Ethelstan. No matter how hard he tried to distract himself with something else, the image of the older student kept resurfacing in his dreams.

The moment Rika let his guard down and started to daydream, his body would be consumed by fire, his pulse would skyrocket, and the desire to find himself in Ethel's arms became unbearable.

Only when Ethel came into his sight did Rika manage to come back to his senses, if only briefly.

When they met during breaks, they managed to exchange a few thrilling words. And one time, after bumping into each other in the shared bathroom, they even managed to steal a heated kiss. Ethel still didn't go to the cafeteria, and Legrim no longer bothered to pay Rika any attention.

The intensity of emotions gradually began to calm down. Rika no longer felt as tense when Ethelstan embraced him in their secret hiding spot behind the curtain. Now, he would ignite the moment Ethel touched him. His body became warm and pliant from just a kiss, and Rika was dying to belong to him.

For some reason, though, Ethelstan never went further than these intimate caresses. He always left Rika flustered, trembling with desire until everything before his eyes darkened.

Because of this, Rika had to find ways to relieve the tension in the shower, just to keep himself from exploding. And, of course, Arrek couldn't overlook his friend's state.

He kept scolding Rikald for his careless behavior, but Rika, blinded by his own happiness, didn't listen, repeating that everything would be fine, he knew what he was doing, and, besides, Ethelstan would never hurt him.

On Friday, after class, Ethel was supposed to go home. Rika couldn't resist the temptation to say goodbye.

He knew that the third-years' last class was in the gym, so he decided to wait for Ethelstan near the locker room.

As he approached the gym, carefully looking around to make sure no teachers or hall monitors would catch him, he suddenly heard Legrim's voice coming from the slightly open door of the third-years' locker room, and he froze, pressing himself against the wall.

The moody upperclassman had somehow completely slipped Rikald's mind, probably because he hadn't shown any displeasure about his and Ethelstan's evening meetings. But now, Legrim was talking to someone specifically about him. And what he was saying was far from flattering.

But it wasn't this that made Rika's heart clench with fear. It was the fact that Ethelstan, whose voice Rika recognized, didn't seem inclined to deny anything his lover was saying.

Shocked, Rika cautiously peeked into the locker room. He darted behind the lockers, wanting to listen to the rest of the conversation and finally understand who Ethel truly was.

***

"Lenard, we've already talked about this, why are you bringing it up again?" Ethelstan slammed his locker shut and pressed his forehead against the cool metal.

His mood was quickly spiraling into the abyss.

Videgrel had promised to pick him up after classes today, and Ethel was really hoping for a heart-to-heart with his stepfather. But his mother's recent call, announcing a change of plans, shattered all those hopes.

He so badly needed to talk to someone, to unload the emotions that had been festering inside. Someone who would understand and not judge him for his recklessness, because the turmoil in his heart was slowly driving him mad.

And now Lenard had decided to reignite an unpleasant conversation, only fueling his growing irritation.

"Because this can't go on," Lenard replied, staring out the window. "How long are you going to keep running? Until you drive both him and me insane?"

"I told you, it's just a passing infatuation," Ethelstan moved closer to Lenard and rested his forehead on the other man's shoulder. "I only love you."

Lenard smirked bitterly, turning to Ethel with a heavy gaze.

"Yet you keep running to him," he reminded, letting his eyes glide over his lover's pale hair.

Lenard's gaze lingered for a moment on the corner of the mirror, and his lips twisted into a cruel smile.

"It's different," Ethel sighed again.

"Different," Lenard didn't argue. Instead, he spun Ethelstan around sharply, pressing him against the windowsill, grinding his hips into Ethel's buttocks. "And what exactly is different about it? Before, your little crushes were just stolen glances and fleeting thrills. But now... you're hopping between me and him like some damn kangaroo. It's driving me crazy!"

Ethelstan bit his lip, inhaling sharply as Lenard's teeth gently but firmly clamped down on his earlobe. He could feel his lover's intense arousal, and it caught him completely by surprise.

They had been together for two years, but in all that time, Lenard had never been the one to initiate anything. He had plenty of passion, sure, but it was always Ethel who made the first move.

And now, this unexpected turn of events.

"One day, you'll get a crush too," Ethelstan muttered, his fingers gripping the windowsill tightly. "And I'll turn a blind eye just like you do."

"You'll shut them forever," Lenard growled, slipping his hand under Ethel's shirt and pinching his nipple hard enough to make him gasp.

"Hey! That hurts," Ethelstan protested, but his words turned into a sharp gasp when Lenard's other hand slid into his shorts. "Are you serious? Right here?" Ethel could hardly believe it.

"You have a problem with that?" Lenard asked suspiciously, biting Ethel's shoulder lightly as he tugged down his shorts, making it clear his intentions were anything but casual.

"If I had known this would get you so worked up, I'd have done it ages ago..." Ethelstan didn't finish.

Lenard entered him suddenly, with no preparation, and for a moment, the pain blurred his vision, tears pricking his eyes. His cry was ruthlessly muffled by Lenard's wide hand covering his mouth.

"Ethel, you'd better keep quiet, or I'll tear you apart," Lenard hissed, thrusting into him fiercely while covering Ethel's shoulders with hot kisses.

Not that Ethelstan minded the roughness — in the very next moment, he was moving against Lenard, his body responding instinctively, one hand braced against the window frame while the other gripped Lenard's thigh, fingers digging into the skin with abandon.

***

Rikald stood behind the lockers, unable to move a muscle.

In the secluded nook by the window, Ethelstan had whispered entirely different words to him. He had assured Rika that his relationship with Lenard was complicated and messy. He kept repeating that Lenard wasn't against them seeing each other.

But now, Rikald realized Lenard was very much against it; he just didn't voice it openly for some reason. And Ethel was taking full advantage of that, indulging in his affairs without consequences.

All of Arrek's warnings suddenly made perfect sense to Rika, and a sickening bitterness spread through his insides. He felt like a complete idiot, someone who had been expertly played all along. Worse still, he felt like absolute trash — someone not even considered human.

Ethelstan hadn't even thought about the fact that his actions could wound Rikald deeply, fatally even. He didn't have the decency to show a shred of compassion. Ethel got the toy he wanted and intended to play with it until he got bored.

This was true hypocrisy and deceit at their finest.

Rikald walked out of the locker room without caring if the guys had heard his footsteps or not. Though he suspected they were too preoccupied to notice him.

Ethelstan's muffled moans filled the room, drowning out all other sounds. Suddenly, Rika was overwhelmed by a wave of disgust, nausea rising sharply in his throat.

His breakfast surged up, and he rushed to the bathroom. After emptying his stomach, he washed his face thoroughly and trudged back to his room.

He felt so sick that he refused to go to lunch. Arrek tried to pry some answers from him, but Rikald ignored his roommate until he left, slamming the door in frustration.

Rika lay down for a while, trying to fight off the overwhelming sense of doom, but eventually, he gave in to the tears.

All of his dreams had crumbled in an instant. But the worst part was, he couldn't even fight for his happiness. He didn't want to be the reason for Lenard and Ethelstan's breakup. And truthfully, he didn't want to be with someone who didn't value what they had and enjoyed straying.

When Arrek came back to the room, Rika pretended to be asleep. And, it seemed, he truly did drift off because the next thing he knew, he was woken up by a loud knock on the door, and the room was pitch dark.

Rikald got out of bed, smoothed down his messy hair with a palm, and opened the door, squinting painfully at the bright light that flooded in.

Standing in the doorway, with a wide grin on his face, was Ethelstan.

"Get out," Rikald muttered darkly and slammed the door right in Ethelstan's face.

But it seemed Ethel had never been taught manners, because he immediately entered the room without waiting for an invitation.

"Leave, you can't be here," Rika said through clenched teeth, anger barely restrained. "Arrek won't be happy to see you when he gets back."

Ethelstan was taken aback by the cold reception, but what worried him more was that Rikald didn't just look tired — he looked ill.

"Are you sick?" Ethel asked, ignoring the mention of Rika's upset roommate, his voice filled with concern as he studied the guy. "Is something hurting you?"

"No," Rikald cut him off sharply, keeping his distance from Ethel. "I'm fine. I just want you to leave."

"Rika, did something happen?" Ethelstan could feel the heavy tension radiating off Rika, but he couldn't understand the reason for it.

Earlier in the hallway, everything had seemed fine between them. So what had changed in such a short time?

"Are you having some kind of problem?"

"For God's sake, just get out of the room!" Rika yelled, unable to withstand the caring tone in Ethel's voice any longer.

Ethelstan stood frozen, startled by the outburst, but he made no move to leave. It was clear he wasn't going anywhere. Realizing that shouting and demands were pointless, Rikald stormed out into the hallway himself.

But he didn't get far. Ethelstan ran after him, grabbing his arm and preventing his escape.

"Rika!" Ethel called out, trying to get him to stop. "What's going on with you?"

"What's going on with you?!" the freshman retorted, trying to pull away, but Ethel wouldn't let him. "Why are you here? Go away! Ethel, I'm not joking! Leave me alone!"

There were hysterical notes in the guy's voice, but Ethel wasn't even thinking of letting him go.

"Just explain what happened," he asked, trying to keep his voice gentle, though it wasn't easy for him. "Why are you pushing me away again? Everything was fine earlier today. What changed?"

"Everything," Rika replied, feeling like he was about to burst into tears. "I don't want to be part of this charade you've been putting on for me for days now. So, please, just stay away from me."

"What charade?" Ethel shook his head, taking the guy's words too literally. "I haven't been putting on anything. Or are you..."

He frowned, suddenly realizing what Rika meant by "charade."

"Rika, what nonsense have they been feeding you this time?" he asked, frustrated. "Was it Joss who filled your head with this crap?"

"Don't drag me into this," came the indignant voice of Arrek from behind Ethel. "You deal with it yourselves."

Ethel turned around, glaring at the redheaded freshman, but Arrek didn't even flinch.

"And don't give me that look. If you want to see who's to blame, take a look in the mirror," Arrek said, then turned to Rika. "If you need anything, I'll be in our room. Just call."

"I won't need anything. Ethel's leaving now," the guy replied.

As the door slammed shut behind Arrek, Rika asked Ethel:

"Do you even care if I want to be with you or not? Why are you clinging to me like we owe each other something?"

"But you wanted..." Ethel looked completely lost, but the next question remained unspoken as he was abruptly interrupted.

"Are you upset about something, kid?"

Lenard's voice thundered down the corridor, and Rika paled even more upon hearing it.

"Lenard, what are you doing here?" Ethel stared at his lover in confusion.

"I'm a hall monitor today," the guy replied without even glancing at Ethelstan.

All his attention was focused on the freshman, who was staring at him in fear, pulling his head into his shoulders.

"But your shift isn't until next week..."

"I switched," Lenard brushed off his lover and turned his attention back to Rika, repeating his question, "I asked, what's your problem? You were practically squealing with joy for a week, and now you're throwing a fit?"

Rika froze, staring in horror at Legrim, who loomed behind him like an enormous mountain. The third-year's eyes sparked with lightning, and his voice, laced with sarcastic questions, rumbled like thunder.

Feeling the waves of irritation radiating from him, Rika began to pull his wrist from Ethelstan's firm grip. He had no desire to quarrel with this man, who in his anger was far more terrifying than Stratford and his buddies combined. Frankly, his uncertain relationship with the fickle Ethel wasn't worth making Legrim an enemy.

"Did you lose your tongue?" Lenard pressed on, looming closer to the freshman.

"Lenard, stop," Ethelstan finally snapped out of it and pulled Rika behind him. "What's gotten into you?"

"You stop," Rika responded quietly, stepping back a few paces from both of them. "It doesn't seem like your boyfriend is thrilled about our meetings. So do us all a favor and stop coming here. Don't even look my way again and spare me from situations like this."

"And who are you to tell him when and where he can go?" Lenard growled, advancing on the freshman, ignoring Ethelstan blocking his path.

"Lenard, stop scaring him!" Ethel demanded, but it was already too late.

Rika, ducking his head down into his shoulders, deftly slipped away towards his room. As he swung the door open, which suspiciously squeaked in Joss's voice, he disappeared into his bedroom.

"So, why did you come here?" Ethelstan asked indignantly, glaring at his lover.

"I already told you, I'm a hall monitor today," Lenard lied without batting an eye. "What, was I supposed to just stand there and listen to you grovel in front of him? He doesn't want to see you—so what?"

"You scared him!" Ethelstan protested, still not calming down.

"And?" Lenard shrugged indifferently. "It won't hurt him."

"Why are you like this?" Ethel sighed, shaking his head in exhaustion. "He's a good guy."

"And why are you like this?" Lenard shot back. "If he's so great, why are you still with me?"

"Because I love you," Ethel replied, looking helplessly at the door to Rika's room, where the lock clicked meaningfully. "And I don't want to lose you."

"Then don't lose me, if you don't want to." Lenard gave him a reproachful look. "Or make up your mind about what you really want. I'm not going to put up with this anymore."

"But..." Ethelstan looked at Lenard, then back at the door, unsure of what to do next. "Are you really going to leave me over something so trivial?"

"Are you sure that 'something trivial' isn't hurt by your words?" Lenard raised an eyebrow. "Do you think he's not listening to us right now?"

Ethelstan's face changed, and he glanced back at the door again. Lenard let out a bitter laugh.

"Trivial, huh?" he asked in disappointment.

Shaking his head in disapproval, he walked away, leaving Ethelstan standing alone in the freshmen's corridor.

***

Ethelstan kept knocking on Rika's door for a long time, begging the guy to come out and talk to him calmly. But all his pleas, arguments, and reasoning were met with silence. Rikald simply ignored him, not responding in any way. And when the door finally opened, it wasn't Rika standing there, but an enraged Joss.

The freshman didn't hold back in expressing his feelings about the situation, using colorful language to describe his emotional state. After painting a vivid picture of where Ethel should go, he advised him to head in that direction immediately before he called the teachers.

The door slammed shut right in Ethelstan's face, leaving him with no choice but to return to his room.

Lenard was still awake. He must have just gotten back from his shift, as he stood by the wardrobe, removing the duty armband from his jacket sleeve.

"This is all your fault!" Ethelstan accused, charging at him. "Because of you, he doesn't want to see me! What did you say to him?"

"You were there. Why are you asking?" Lenard raised an eyebrow in surprise as he turned to face him.

"Because he was acting like that even before you showed up," Ethel explained. "I'm sure this is your doing. Did you threaten him?"

"Why would I bother threatening him?" Lenard scoffed, closing the wardrobe. "I'd rather crush him right away and be done with it. Maybe he's just an unstable, hysterical kid—that's probably why they sent him to this school."

"Lenard! I know this is your fault. Admit it, you said something awful to him, didn't you?"

"Why would I do that?" Lenard protested, tired of the accusations.

Ethelstan glared at him, clearly not believing a word. This finally pushed Lenard over the edge.

"And besides, I didn't even have to try. You were the one who said plenty of 'nice' things to him. So, maybe you should ask yourself what the problem is."

Ethelstan was stunned, losing his momentum.

"What are you even talking about?" he asked, bewildered. "Lenard, what do you mean?"

"You know exactly what I mean! Think back to what you were whispering to me in the locker room today," Lenard snapped with unexpected anger. "Well, he heard everything. And saw everything. And you know what? I'm glad!"

"You knew he was in the locker room, and still..." Ethel's breath caught in his throat, making it impossible to finish the sentence.

He took a deep breath, recalling his words, and felt a chill run through him. But the sudden realization made him even more outraged.

"So, you only made a move so that Rika would see us?"

"What nonsense!" Lenard snorted. "I couldn't care less about that scrawny kid. I wanted you, and you didn't seem to mind. No tricks involved."

"You did it on purpose," Ethel insisted. "Usually, I'm the one who has to seduce you to snap you out of it and get you to act. But this time, all of a sudden, you wanted it yourself?"

"I don't see why that's so surprising," Lenard shrugged and sat on the bed.

"Well, I do!" Ethel snapped, finally losing his temper. "You... you used me!"

"Ethel, enough." The argument was veering into strange territory, and it looked like it was about to turn into a full-blown fight. "It's not my fault he was sneaking around where he shouldn't have been. What, are you going to say I dragged him there by the hand? Why do you even care so much about this? Whether he saw us or not, that's his problem. He knew we were together, so he should have guessed that sometimes lovers have sex. Unless you've been telling him something completely different, like we're not together. If that's the case, then why am I to blame?"

"I didn't tell him anything," Ethel muttered, offended. "He knows we're together. But he shouldn't have heard what I said. That's really bad!"

"He'll get over it—he's not a kid," Lenard replied gruffly, clearly wanting to end the conversation.

"And what if he doesn't?" Ethelstan asked. "Do you even know what state he was in when I found him by the club? But of course, you don't care, right? Other people's lives are just dust to you. All that matters is your jealousy. You're cruel, Lenard. I didn't expect you to just accept the situation, but I never thought you were capable of such cruelty."

"And you're a saint, right?" Lenard snapped, his irritation flaring, though he quickly composed himself and spoke in a calmer tone. "Although, you're right about one thing—I don't care about him. Any other questions for me? If not, I'm going to bed."

"No, you're not going to bed. Right now, you're going to go to Rika and fix what you did," Ethelstan demanded.

Lenard laughed when he heard his lover's demand. But there wasn't a trace of amusement in his laughter.

"Maybe I should tie a bow around you and present you to him on a silver platter?" he asked sarcastically. "That's never going to happen."

Ethelstan stared at him for a few moments, then said, absolutely seriously:

"Until you fix what you did, I don't want to talk to you. And if something happens to Rika because of your actions, I'll never forgive you."

"Are you serious?" Lenard asked, unable to believe what he was hearing.

But Ethelstan didn't answer. He turned away theatrically from Leonard and lay down on the bed, covering himself with the blanket completely, without even bothering to undress.

Lenard stared at his lover's back for a few moments, then lay down as well, turning toward the wall. He began mentally annihilating the cursed freshman in the most creative and varied ways.

***

Ethelstan woke up just as the first light of dawn was starting to peek through the window. The remnants of troubling dreams still lingered in his mind, and his heart clenched with sorrow and pain as he looked at Lenard, who was still asleep.

But he had no intention of going back on his words. Lenard had done something wrong, and Ethel was completely certain of that. Even if Lenard had his reasons, Ethelstan couldn't just accept the situation.

After tossing and turning for a bit longer, Ethel got up and went to take a shower. Once he had changed into fresh clothes, he headed back to Rika's room, hoping that the guy had calmed down overnight and would now agree to listen to him.

However, the freshman remained unyielding. He didn't come out to see Ethelstan, and the only response Ethel received was an angry tirade from a groggy Joss, who, over the course of the night, had come up with at least a dozen new routes, which he described to Ethelstan in meticulous detail.

When the door slammed shut with a bang, Ethelstan stood there motionless for a few minutes, feeling the grip of helplessness tighten around his throat like an invisible hand. He was determined to stay by Rika's door all day if necessary, just to see the freshman and try to explain everything. But a phone call interrupted his plans.

It was the secretary calling to inform him that his mother had arrived and was waiting for him at the main gate.

Lingering in the hallway for a moment longer, Ethel sighed dejectedly and headed toward the stairs.

Ethelstan knew it would be wise to give Rika a little more time to cool down. Maybe over the weekend, the guy would think everything through and agree to talk, or at least listen to him. Then, Ethel could do everything in his power to make amends.

He returned to his room only to grab his jacket. By then, Lenard had already woken up, but Ethelstan didn't even look at him. He silently gathered his things and left, making it clear that he was still angry and had no intention of forgiving Lenard so easily.

Ethel nearly ran to the gate. The cold winter air burned his lungs and pierced his chest like a hundred tiny needles, but it couldn't cool the fire burning inside him.

After passing through the gate, he got into the car and immediately laughed nervously as he looked at his stepfather.

"Well, hello there, 'Mom'. A new role? Fabulous! Your makeup artists are magicians."

"Cut the theatrics," the man said with a smile. "Miranda was called into the agency. She couldn't come pick you up. So, it's just you and me for the next two days."

He gestured to the driver to start moving and then asked, "Are you feeling sick? You look exhausted."

Hearing the genuine concern in his stepfather's voice made Ethelstan's lips tremble.

"Videgrel, I..." Ethel swallowed hard. "I'm so lost..."

The man raised an eyebrow in surprise, but he didn't have to ask anything, because Ethelstan suddenly broke down.

He poured out all of his fears and worries to his stepfather, telling him about the strange, confusing feelings and thoughts that were driving him crazy. He spoke and spoke, stumbling over his words and sometimes repeating himself, but he felt a little lighter with each confession, with each feeling voiced.

"I don't understand any of it! My mind is a mess. He's driving me insane. But it's not the same as what I feel for Lenard. It's not just desire—I want something more, something deeper." Ethelstan took a deep, shaky breath and looked at Videgrel with hope. "What do I do? How am I supposed to deal with this?"

The man remained silent, contemplating his stepson's words. Ethelstan truly looked devastated and confused, and Videgrel was trying to come up with the right solution.

But, to be honest, he himself had once failed when it came to his feelings for Ethelstan, and he knew all too well that there was no painless way out of this situation.

"Do you still love Lenard the way you always have?" Videgrel asked seriously.

Ethel nodded and confirmed it with a firm, "Of course!" That's when the man sternly said,

"Then you need to stop chasing after Rikald."

"But!"

"No 'buts,' Ethel," the man cut him off.

"You don't understand," Ethel replied in a muffled voice, clenching his fists in desperation. "Rika... I can't abandon him. He's so delicate, fragile... and lonely. I can't explain it. I want to protect him, love him, take care of him. Is that so wrong? I want him from head to toe, just as much as I want Lenard. Not more, no, but not less either. I'm torn between them. I know I'm hurting Lenard. And I'm hurting Rika too. If I could, I'd tear my heart out and split it between them equally."

"I understand you very well!" Videgrel said, emphasizing each word. "Ethel, two years ago, I was in a similar situation, and we both remember how that ended. Don't ruin what you have with Lenard. You'll regret it deeply if you do. Someday, you'll want to go back to him, and when you do, you'll end up breaking Rikald's heart. Believe me, it's better if he suffers now than hates you fiercely later."

Ethelstan closed his eyes.

"I don't want to lose Lenard," he said after a long pause. "But this guy... I think I've fallen in love with him. Everything inside me burns when I see him. My thoughts get all mixed up... I'm happy just being near him. Just seeing him smile at me makes me happy. I tried explaining it to Lenard, but he doesn't understand. Videgrel," Ethelstan turned his head toward his stepfather, his eyes full of anguish, "is it possible to love two people? Tell me, is that even possible? And if it's not, how do I figure out where the real feelings lie?"

"When you're in love, it's impossible to tell what's real and what isn't," the man said. "It's also very difficult to distinguish love from passion or the desire to care for someone you're fond of. These are all different expressions of the same feeling, but they lead to very different outcomes. You need to try and evaluate the situation objectively. Only then should you dive in headfirst."

Ethelstan visibly deflated at Videgrel's words. The man wrapped an arm around his shoulders, pulling him closer.

"You've got a few days to think things through. But based on my own experience, I'd suggest limiting your contact with Rikald for a while. To make it easier, draw a line in your mind—a line you won't cross under any circumstances. Do something to show him that you want to remain his friend, but that you're not interested in a romantic relationship."

"Please," Ethel pleaded, "don't start talking to me about your damn lilies. Do you even know how much I hate those flowers?"

"And yet, those lilies are what help us maintain our friendship," Videgrel leaned forward and picked up a bouquet from the front seat, prepared in advance for Ethel.

"This is my gesture, Ethel. It helps me keep my feelings in check. So, don't harbor unjustified hatred toward these flowers. They symbolize the beautiful but pure relationship we have."

"Now I hate you too," Ethel muttered sullenly, clutching the bouquet to his chest, but Videgrel wasn't offended in the least.

He just smiled and nodded.

"Well, if you need to hate someone, go ahead. It won't hurt me," he joked, patting Ethel on the shoulder, trying to cheer him up.

Ethelstan didn't respond and turned toward the window.

His chest ached unpleasantly. The line between his feelings for Lenard and Rika had become so blurred it seemed to have disappeared entirely. But he couldn't split himself in two, which meant that in the end, he would have to make a choice.

He glanced down at the flowers his stepfather had given him, but the white buds now seemed like harbingers of doom. A chill ran down his spine, and Ethel tried to push the dark thoughts from his mind. But his heart still clenched in worry, pounding out grim forebodings that left a bitter taste in his mouth.

Dear readers, we want to sincerely apologize for the irregular release of chapters. Unfortunately, due to a lack of time, we've struggled to keep up with a consistent schedule. To address this, we've decided to release new chapters every two weeks moving forward. Thank you for your patience and understanding, and we hope you enjoy the story!