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Chapter Nine: A Fire Within

Brook's voice wobbled as she spoke, saying, "Please tell me why you're looking at me like that. Please tell me. Daddy. Clara. Please. Say anything."

She recieved no response from either of them. They both continued to gawk at her, their jaws dropped open in a frenzy of emotions Brook wasn't capable of analysing at the moment. It was just as she had been saying before-if she wanted to know something, she was just going to have to figure it out herself.

Forcing her breaths to be slow and steady, Brook slowly put her arms in front of her. Her entire body was quivering as she was horribly afraid of whatever she might see. As soon as her arms got into her sight she let out an enormous gasp and could do nothing but stare. Now, without a doubt, she understood why Clara and the Doctor looked so shocked.

Brook's arms, along with the rest of her body, appeared to be made out of the regenerative energy. She was emitting a flickering golden glow almost as if she were a fire. She seemed to still be in the process of regenerating, except for the energy was not flying out anywhere. Instead, it was in the shape of her body. It was her.

"Oh...oh no...oh my...no..." Brook could hardly speak as shook her head. In a moment of fear, she made sure to examine the rest of her body. Sure enough, it exactly the same as her arms had been. In a moment of denial she checked it again, and then again, and then again. But no matter how many times she checked, absolutely nothing changed.

"What's happening?" Her voice shook with fear along with the rest of her body. It made the energy that consumed her quiver as well, sending patterns of light across the floor.

"I...I don't know..." the Doctor said, finally responding to her. He never seen anything quite like this before and was shaken immensely as well. It didn't help that Brook was in somewhat of a panic, of course. It just managed to make the atmosphere in the room feel even more intense. After the massive fight and the gun threat it seemed like things could only get better-but this is not the case.

Brook allowed herself a moment to just stay quiet and think. Although she was far from calm, she came up with an idea of what to do very quickly. She had no idea if it truly would help at all, but by this point she was desperate.

"Sonic," Brook demanded. "Try the sonic screwdriver."

"Brook, I don't think-" said the Doctor, trying to calm her down even if for just a moment. But he was interrupted almost immediately.

"Just do it!" Brook's voice erupted in an enormous crack as she thrusted her arms out in desperation.

The Doctor fumbled around and finally pulled out the sonic screwdriver from his coat pocket. He nearly dropped it, rushing to meet Brook's demand. He buzzed it over in her direction, attempting to find anything. But as he pulled it back, his face fell within a matter of moments.

"Nothing," said the Doctor, sighing. He turned his gaze down towards the ground, unable to even do so much as look at her.

"Let me see," Clara said, wrenching the sonic screwdriver out of the Doctor's hand. She turned it around, looking for any sort of sign, but then she shook her head. "He's right. Nothing."

"Are you...are you sure?" It was obvious that Brook was trying to hold something back, that instead of sounding desperate she was trying to sound curious.

"Yes," the Doctor sighed.

Everyone in the room was beginning to despair, dissolving into silence for a moment. What could they possibly do to fix this? No matter how much thought each of them put into it, nothing of use came out. No one was quite sure even what was going on with her, after all. They certainly didn't want to do anything that would risk harming her even further.

Brook was having the most difficulty getting herself to stop and think. Usually she didn't have much of a problem allowing herself to close her eyes and assess a situation, but usually she wasn't panicking. The moment she believed she was calming down she would always catch a glimpse of her body and would have to start all over again.

Without warning, a burst of regenerative energy flew out of Brook's arm. She screamed from the sudden pain, becoming paralyzed from the surprise. This new obstacle stunned the Doctor and Clara as they stepped back and away from Brook.

After a few seconds the energy had faded back into its normal shape, fitting the lines and curves of Brook's body. The pain disappated along with it. But it was excessively obvious that the issues were far from being over. If anything, they were truly only getting started.

"It's like...It's like it's happening again," Brook cried out, "but only for a second in one arm. It feels exactly the same, I don't know...I don't know...it...it hurts."

"It?" asked the Doctor, beginning to step back towards her. Clara followed behind him cautiously, remembering his initial warning when she had been regenerating to begin with. Besides, Brook was in utter distress. Like a frightened animal, she could potentially lash out and hurt someone-perhaps even herself.

"It...regeneration, I mean. It's like I'm regenerating again but only in part-"

Before Brook could finish her sentence, she was cut off by a burst of energy erupting from her body. This time her leg burst into flames, the light stretching out in frenzied tendrils. She screamed again, sounding like a girl in a horror film in pure pain and terror. She had no control over herself by this point, although she struggled to rein herself in.

"Oh. Oh no. That is not good. That is very, very, very not good. Impressive amounts of not good here. Um..." The Doctor circled around Brook, trying to understand what was the matter with her. He scanned his gaze over her, searching for anything that could allow him to comprehend what was going on.

"There must be something we can do," Clara urged, stepping towards the Doctor and Brook again. "There is always something we can do."

The Doctor turned to look over towards Clara for a moment. His eyes told her that there was nothing to be done. "Brook, stay calm," he finally said. He still had no clue what to do, but he wasn't going to state that outright to her. It was far better for her to have hope and allow herself to carry on.

"Daddy, what's happening?" Brook attempted to make her voice sound strong and firm, but she couldn't prevent it from having a slight quiver. She had become very still, almost paralyzed in her fear. By standing still, she felt as if she might be able to reduce the effects of the energy. "Do you know what's happening to me?"

"I don't know, but we can help you. I know we can help you, Brook," said the Doctor, bowing his head and her direction. "Clara and I will figure something out."

Brook gave a slight nod and breathed in before saying, "Daddy?"

"Yes?" the Doctor replied, stepping forwards to her.

"I want you to know I'm not scared. I...I'm terrified."

Before she could say more, another burst of energy came from her hand. She let a shriek of pain, dissolving into a small fit of sobs before forcing herself to calm down. Her breathing remained erratic, but at least she wasn't crying any more. "I'm bloody terrified, Daddy."

The Doctor could only think of one way to respond to her. "Don't be," he uttered, staring at the mass of regeneration energy that was Brook.

Brook allowed herself to give a moment of thought before she replied back to him. She needed her thoughts in order to keep her collected and calm. "Daddy, I understand this sort of thing. And I've been thinking about it, I really have been...if this is the first time you meet me, it might be the last time I see you. I know what that means. It that means I die, I die today..."

Brook swallowed deeply before she continued. "Or if I don't die today, I suffer like this for eternity. I think that it's pretty obvious that I don't want either one of those things to happen. But it's time, silly old time. And whatever happens to me now is probably fixed. In fact, it's almost definitely fixed."

"Fixed?" Clara asked, unable to keep curiosity out of her words.

"Fixed point in time," the Doctor explained. "You can't change them no matter what, otherwise the entirety of time and space gets...well, twisted. But I don't think this is one of those times. I won't let either of those things happen, Brook. Not if I can help it," the Doctor said despite the fact that his hope for fixing the problem was fading quickly.

This was a feeling that Brook shared with him. "You know, I'd rather just die," she said, a small sob erupting from her. "I don't want to burn for the rest of my life until my energy finally sputters out. It would be better for me to just stop living. Do you think...do you think I'm going to die? Is this going to kill me?"

"You're not going to die," the Doctor replied, his voice as firm and still as he could make it. "Brook, you are not going to die."

Brook was quiet, hardly listening to the words that the Doctor was saying anymore. She had already decided, in her head, that it was just a matter of time before this suffering would overtake her life. This mentality of hers was practically unshakable.

Truly, she just wished she could know why everything went so wrong, why her regeneration had been such a severe mess. There were so many potential reasons flashing through her head, but a few stuck out to her in particular. But she decided against mentioning any of them.

She didn't want to hear the Doctor's comforting words and promises that everything would get better. Brook already decided that she knew that nothing would get better. Asking about why would just cause the Doctor to hush her and try to bring her back to the matter at hand. She didn't want to deal with that.

She struggled to determine something she could say to him, something that wouldn't make him start to comfort her. Brook tried to think through everything, but she was scraping the bottom of a barrel by this point. Finally, she came up with something that might work.

"Make it stop," was the only thing she could say. Sure, it sounded like she was like a whiny little child asking for someone to turn a show off or something like that, but that's kind of how she felt. But instead of whining she was just scared.

At that moment Brook felt nothing more than a scared little girl. She wanted her mother and father to hold her and Foreman to come back and make everything better. She wanted the comfort and warmth that she should have gotten when she was actually a little girl.

She closed her eyes and felt fear wash all over her, her entire body rippling in an enormous shiver. Fear was a familiar emotion to her, even intense fear like this. She could recall feeling fear like this twice in her past. But in those times, she hadn't been afraid of losing her life.

There was nothing wrong with being afraid. That's what Brook had been raised to believe. But it was how you handled your fear that really affected how people saw you. At the moment, Brook believed she was a coward. She had let her inner child overtake her and make her want to curl up into a ball and just cry.

"I want to go home," Brook murmured. It was silly, and she knew it. There was no place to go home. But yet that was popped into her head. Truly all she wanted to go to a place where she could be safe and unafraid. This was a place that she knew did not exist.

"You are home," replied Clara, keeping her voice quiet. She felt an urge to reach out and comfort Brook somehow, but the threat of the fire kept her away. Her words would have to be sufficient in this case.

"I know...I know I'm home, I know. But..."

Another burst of energy shook Brook's body, erupting from both arms at the same time. This time when she cried out in pain, a sob escaped her as well. Pretty soon she couldn't prevent more sobs from coming out of her. Though it was impossible for her to have tears, she was crying intensely.

"I did this to myself," she shrieked, her voice getting hoarse. "It's all my selfish little fault. This is what I get for being such a selfish little girl!"

The Doctor and Clara both felt a deep desire to try and comfort Brook, but there wasn't much that either could really say. She had indeed brought her fate upon herself through her actions. But even if it had been her fault, neither was going to let that stop them from trying to help her. The two would always help. That's what they did.

As more regenerative energy exploded out of Brook, her cries became weaker and more strained. It sounded like she was going to give up trying to keep herself up and awake. It was only a matter of time before she would begin to give up on being alive, that much was clear.

"Brook, stay strong," the Doctor said, straightening up his own back in order to make himself a better role model in her eyes.

Clara added in with the Time Lord, saying, "We can get you through this somehow."

"But how?" Brook pushed out. "You're just standing there, both of you. You two don't-don't have any...any...any clue what to do." She had to take a moment before she could continue, her voice dissolving into a fit of breathy sobs.

Finally, she turned to face the Doctor full on. One could not see her eyes, but it was obvious she was directing her gaze towards him.

"Daddy, don't lie to me if I'm going to die," Brook said, forcing her voice to stabilize as she stared at him. Another sob escaped her, but she quickly reeled herself back together. She had to hear his response no matter what.

"No, Brook, I promised you that you are not going to die," the Doctor replied. He meant it with both of his hearts, but he wasn't sure if she was going to understand that.

"But you didn't promise," she cried back. "You only said that I wasn't going to die. That's not a promise, that's a statement. It's not the same thing, Daddy!"

"I promise now," he replied. "I promise now that you are not going to die. Not today. Not any time soon, not if I have anything to do with it."

Quietly, so that only she could hear it, Brook murmured, "The Doctor lies."

She was very careful to make sure that no one else would notice. Only she would think such thoughts, and frankly she didn't want to hear whatever the Doctor's response would be to something like that. Brook was stubborn on many things, even if it was at the expense of her happiness.

But soon she ended up making a realization that send her back into sobs.

"My wedding night. This is all happening on my wedding night. What is Foreman going to think? Where is he? I want him back now. I want him to use the-the stupid vortex manip-nip-nipulator so he can just help...help me."

"I'm sure he'll be back soon," Clara said, trying to brighten up the mood. Even a tiny bit of brightness could make a difference, she was sure of it.

"I hope so," Brook replied.

Clara turned to the Doctor and said, "Doctor, is Brook still...regenerating or whatever?"

"I'm not sure, but that's how it seems."

Brook added in weakly, saying, "That's how it feels."

Clara started pacing around to help her think. Then she turned to the Doctor, tilted her head, and blinked a few times before saying, "You can interrupt a regeneration, right?"

"If you want to kill someone," the Doctor said, still keeping his eyes fixed on Brook.

"Oh," Clara responded. Whatever idea she had been having just flew right out of her head. Maybe today was the day no one could save her. She had just hoped there might be something she could do.

"Brook, try to explain to me what's going on so I can try to figure something out. You can do that, right?" the Doctor asked.

"Most of the time...it...it doesn't hurt. I feel normal, just a bit tingly. I just thought it was supposed to be that way at first be-because I had never regenerated before and that...that was what it felt like. But then obvious...obviously not. Now it sometimes-sometimes feels like I'm re-re-regenerating again but only in cer...certain parts where it just kind of...kind of bursts. And it hurts so...so much."

"I'm sorry, Brook," the Doctor replied immediately. "I'm sorry you have to go through this."

"It's not your fault, it's...it's mine!" Brook cried out in response. If that wasn't already hard enough on her, her head burst out with the energy at that same moment. She went hysterical for the next few seconds, screaming and crying like she never had in her life before.

Without warning, everything became much too quiet, Brook immediately hushed her cries in a split second. It was the kind of quiet that occurs only right before a ravaging storm would crash in. The air was tense yet everyone was hushed and said nothing.

Then the quiet was split in half by a loud bang, making the Doctor jump into the air.

The Doctor heard a gunshot as Brook's entire body burst into an explosion of flames. She was screaming loudly, but she was regenerating properly again. There was still something wrong, though.

Where had the shot come from? Brook didn't have the gun anymore. He certainly hadn't been the one to shoot her.

He turned around to see Clara shaking, the gun still held out in position to fire.

A/N Ah, I had so much reusable content from the original version of this chapter. That's a very good thing, in case you're wondering. I mean, it's one of my favorite chapters of this story. These last few just always stand out to me as being good. Heheh. 

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