{lowercase intended}

warning: this story's v sarcastic bc that's just my personality and style of writing ok im done bye

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m a c i e

"ugh, where are the gosh dang tampons," i say to myself a little too loudly, causing weird looks from two little kids.

i have gone around this target about three times already, how could i have missed the tampon aisle?

with my patience growing thin, i finally find the right aisle. hallelujah!

oh gosh.

i literally have no idea which to get.

this may sound embarrassing, but my mom usually buys my feminine products for me. there are just too many brands and types to choose from, so i let my mom handle all that stuff.

"excuse me," i say to a very tall blond boy, who's the only employee walking by.

"huh? me?" he looks around, as if i'm talking to someone else.

why the hell is he so startled? is it his first day or something?

"no, i'm talking to that shopping cart," i say sarcastically. "yes, you! i need your advice- should i get the playtex sport or the tampax pearl?"

"um," the boy awkwardly looks around and makes eye contact with 3 other employees who look like they're laughing their asses off.

"listen," i squint to see the name on his nametag. "oscar, i'm kind of in a hurry, so don't waste my time."

i don't mean to be rude, but i can't help but pms at the guy.

he looks over at the 3 guys again and has this look in his eyes that probably means 'help me'.

"i have no idea. but i do recommend this album; it's really good, you should check it out." he shows me a cd from the stack in his hands.

can the guy just do what i asked him jeez

at this point i feel like giving up at life.

i literally want to cry.

"all i asked for, is your fucking help!" i begin to tear up. i probably sound like a lunatic, but blame mother fucking nature.

the boy begins to freak out at my sudden crying.

"oh God, don't cry," he attempts to comfort me. "uhh, here, take the tampax pearl?" the statement sounds more like a question.

he once again looks over at the 3 employees and widens his eyes and shrugs.

i begin to stop tearing. "thanks!" i say cheerily.

"so again about this album... you should really check it out." he tries handing it to me, again.

"no, i'm not really into the whole pop boyband thing. and 5 seconds of summer? i heard they suck live."

he gasps, looking offended. "excuse me? they are an alternative/ rock band who happen to be great singers live." he fires back.

"damn, chill." i laugh at the pissed off employee. "what are you, gay for one of the members?"

"no," he says quickly. "but that one is pretty hot." he points to the blonde one with a lip piercing.

wait.

this target worker also has a lip piercing.

that's him on the cover.

and those 3 other workers are also on it.

oh shit.

"nahh, i think they're all pretty cute but the blonde one." i decide to mess with him.

"are you crazy- that's me!" he still has that offended look on his face.

"yeah, i think i've figured that out by now. if i'm being pranked, you can stop now." i look around for the hidden cameras.

four men pop out of nowhere, carrying giant cameras. how the hell did i not realize them, before?

"i better get going, i need to um..." i try to think of an excuse to stop talking to him. "feed my cat."

funny thing is, i don't have a cat.

i'm allergic.

"so are you going to buy my album or no?" is he really still on to that?

i pretend to think about it for a few seconds. "no. see ya, oscar." i pick up my shopping basket, and begin to walk to the check-out counters.

"my name's not oscar, by the way!" he calls after me.

i laugh. "oh yeah? what is it? harry styles?"

"no, it's luke," he gives me a cheeky smile. "what's your's?" he asks.

"macie," i simply tell him. "well, luke, thanks for the 'help', but chances are that i'm never going to listen to your music. sorry." i shrug.

"well that was rude,"

"i don't care, now get out of my way before i kick you in the face."

"you're too short to even reach my face." he laughs.

"shut up. why am i even still talking to your popstar princess ass?"

"probably because you find me attractive?" he winks.

hahahahhahahaha no.

"definitely. because that red polo and those baggy-as-fuck khakis are sooo hot." i scoff. "yeah, no,"

"denial. just admit it, and i'll leave you alone."

"i'd rather stab my self in the vagina."

i walk away again, without letting him say another word.

eventually, i get to the counter to check-out my stuff. not paying attention, i just dump my stuff from my basket onto the conveyor.

"your total will be $16.69" the girl who's working at the counter tells me.

damn, how much do these tampons, he told me to get, cost? this is why i wish my mother was here to buy these for me.

instead of objecting, i just give the girl my credit card. after paying, i check the receipt.

tampax pearl .................................. 3.99

5sos deluxe album..........................11.99

that little fucker slipped his cd in my basket.

i search through my plastic bag and pull out the album.

oh look, he wrote a little note on it with sharpie.

hope this will change your mind. -luke

{a/n}

is this even gonna get any reads lmao

i'm just writing this for fun, not really expecting reads but that would be gucci

please comment, vote, fan, and whatever else you do on here!