THIRTEEN: ITALIAN & SWING. 

"SHALL WE GRAB dinner?" Theo asked as we made it out from the hospital. We both went to visit Theodore's father for his blessings. 

"Sure," was my monotonous reply. 

The drive to the restaurant was quiet, me being lost in a cobweb of thoughts while he didn't give away what he might be thinking. Same cold and impassive. His father's words ringed in my ears, again and again. I was restless at his father's words when he said that 'it will be hard for you but I pray that you make it out alive.'

The restaurant was grand and lavish. Suddenly I felt incongruous considering that I was not dressed appropriately enough according to the surroundings. My washed denim jeans and off-shoulder silk black top looked cheap and low in comparison to other women who were dressed ecstatically. And my mahogany brown hair which carelessly cascaded past my shoulders was a mess of tangles and knots. Instinctively, I ran my fingers down the length of my hair. 

Regardless, we made our way inside, zipping through the maze of classic groups of businessmen and addition to top-class folks. 

We took our seats somewhere in the middle of the spacious, warmly lit hall as there wasn't any other vacant seat available. Both of us didn't utter a single verse, neither was I in a position to do so. He talked to someone over his phone in hushed voices as I scrolled through my news feed, looking around if anyone new came inside. 

"Cosa posso avere per te signore? " A waiter came and asked Mr. Raymond in some accent I didn't concede. 

(TRANSLATION: What can I get for you, sir?) 

"Do you want to have an appetizer before the main course?" He asked me. 

"No, the main course will be fine." What else could have I said when I don't even know this language. I quickly typed the waiter's words into my Google translator.

 This was an Italian Restaurant. 

"Okay. Bruschetta with Focaccia bread and… " He trailed for me to add my order. The waiter jotted down the dish on his notepad quickly. 

"Um… I - I don't know what to order. I haven't eaten Italian before." I spoke fast, trying to get rid of the embarrassing position quickly. I love Chinese, why should I eat Italian, right? RIGHT?! 

"Double the same dish. Thank you." The waiter scurried away leaving us alone. 

"What if I don't like what you ordered? " I queried after a moment. 

"Then I'll eat double and you'll have to order something else." He said with an amused expression, directing his entire attention towards me. 

I scoffed. Was I even expecting anything else? 

"Why don't you tell me something about you. I don't know anything about you and somewhere the information might be useful, you know… the events and all." He vocalized. 

"You already know everything about me, where I work, what I do, the NGO and all. There isn't much to know about me anyway." I professed, folding my hands over the cream satin table cloth. His eyebrows raised for a second with a smug expression. 

"I asked about you. Not your work."

"The answer still remains the same." I breathed out, shooting a glance at the direction the waiter went. 

"There must be something." He pressed further, making me annoyed. 

"Rather, why don't you tell me something you found in me?" I challenged, jutting my chin up in interest. 

He let out a chuckle and shook his head. "I find you something different than what you show to the world. The way you think that you know a lot, you judge people in a blink of an eye like you thought that CEO's like us cannot listen to ambient music. You think that all are the same and you assume things without any bound. You are always so perfect and plastic. Almost computerized… You barely smile let alone laugh. Your face is always platonic and blank. Sometimes, I wonder if you are even human. Whenever we have met, I have always seen you with our guard on and your shoulders are stiff, as if ready to run away from something. So alert. I muse sometimes if all the emotions are buried deep within you or have they faded away with time."

"The latter." I quipped quietly. 

"But," He continued, "just for some reason I think that you just don't let yourself get into such a situation where you have to face your emotions. You are good at hiding and concealing, right? " his eyes search for an answer into my eyes as mine remain cold. 

"Maybe yes." I muster, gulping uncomfortably. 

"Once you are married to me, I know that the facade you have built up will shatter down to earth and your mask will peel off. The mask of insecurity and perfection."

I couldn't say a word after his confession. It made me feel foreign to my own self. His words penetrated into my heart like a stab of a knife, sole and deep, making the raw blood ooze out as disturbance. It spread all over, little at the beginning and then completely, just like we sleep. I felt weak. 

The dinner passed in a blur. We ate silently, no one uttered a single verse. Just the 'clink' and 'clatter' of forks and plates disturbed the thick anticipated air. 

Paying the bills, we silently walked out side by side. He asked me to wait for a second, as he went and had a little conversation with the guy in the reception. 

He walked back at me and we trolled out. He started walking in the other direction so I informed him that the car was parked on the opposite side. 

"We aren't going yet. Do you have any work? " He asked, halting on his track. 

"Yes, I do. " I am just going to bury myself in the bed, said my mind. 

"Work can be completed later. Come on." He didn't leave any scope for argument and walked away with an all-knowing smirk. Jerk. 

I trailed behind him. The sight was marvelous. It somewhat resembled a clifftop. There were flower pots and trees and a railing boundary all around. There was a swing too at the corner, a white metallic one. 

"It's nice." I pronounced. He hummed in response. 

I stationed myself near the railings, elbows over the cold metal and eyes looking over the beach. The night air was soothing in a different way. I felt him stand beside me. 

"We'll be getting married soon. We should at least know a few things about each other to avoid any kind of problems later in the future." His voice came out like a whisper, raspy and husky. Our arms were almost touching. An exhilarating shiver rippled down my spinal cord. I shifted a step to the other side. 

"Hm… You mean something like 20 questions?" I quizzed not looking over at him. My vision was trained sheerly on the lapping sheets of water kissing the shore again and again. 

"Twenty or hundred, it's like we have to just know the basics about each other." I nodded. 

"A place you'd like to visit in your life?" He voiced. 

"Maybe, Greece. I haven't gone anywhere leaving Manhattan. What about you?" The atmosphere was peaceful, not a single person was in this area and a sweet aroma of flowers filled the air. 

"I have gone everywhere I had wanted to. Mostly because of business works."

"Hmm. Um… I know your taste in music is ambient songs. What else-?"

"What's yours? "

 I turned to look at him in the eyes and so did he. My eyes swayed over his face, thinking. "Nature sounds. Air whistling, the sound of rain, smell after the rain, thunder of clouds…" 

"That's rare. Haven't heard of such a person who likes nature's voice." We both retreated and looked at a distance in front. 

"There must be a few. I am sure."

"How many girlfriends have you had?" I paused. "No, shouldn't the question be like how many girls have you toyed with?" I looked up at him, briefly. He breathed out a laugh and met me. 

"I don't know what you want to indicate by saying 'toying', but I have slept with a few. I think I have lost the count maybe after some thirty-five or so." 

"I thought I must have crossed a century at least, considering your status and looks," I said wheezing a laugh. 

"Are you saying that I look good?" Tease danced in the cubicles of his eyes as he tilted his face. 

"Yeah, why not."

I felt his frown. "Even if you admit, it doesn't make me feel like I really do look good. As if it doesn't matter only." 

"It doesn't," I replied immediately. 

A moment passed in silence. I tuck my hair behind my ears and bring all of them to one side. The cool air blew over my sweaty neck, leaving me blissful. 

"You didn't answer the question for yourself." His eyes were cast on me. I looked straight as a wave of uncertainty due to harsh memories washed over me. 

"I have been in a relationship with one guy during high school. And, while pursuing a business degree I dated this guy for some two months, I think. He was very keen to solve me." I said, remembering the long lost memories. 

"And you aren't a virgin?" His gaze never wavered. It was like he was trying to decipher who I was. I was finding it difficult to let him in, let my shield down. 

I exhaled. "I slept with the high school one." I scrunch my nose even at the thought of it. 

"What gives me the idea that it was a disaster? " He openly laughed. 

"You say." I scoffed. 

"Okay, I'll change the topic." He laughed a bit more. "And you haven't slept with anyone since then?" 

For some reason, I wasn't offended at him asking me these personal questions. If anyone was in place of him, I might have murdered him with my words and stare twenty times already. 

"No one aroused me in that way…" I said noncommitment ally, shrugging. 

"Like while just randomly going somewhere, or walking on the road you weren't attracted to anyone?" He was surprised, digging deeper. 

"I don't really get attracted to people that easily. And, to be honest… it's not about being attracted to someone," I managed to let out, still thinking if I should open up or not.

 "Now say, do you choose the cereals you eat during breakfast on the basis of their appearance or taste? Taste, obviously. The same goes for people. For me at least." I breathed out a laugh. 

"Understandable. But, that doesn't work for most of the people, you know right?" He informed me and I sighed. 

"Unfortunately - "

"Fortunate, for most of them." He winked and smiled boyishly, drawing a dramatic scowl from me. 

"Do you believe in love?" I found myself asking. 

We both, at least  I think that, sank in the mood. We are letting each other into our lives. It made my heart feel lighter. And not to mention, how the night breeze was easing me to it. After all, I always let down my guards this time. 

His reply came after a few moments of internal conflict. "No. Do you?" 

"To be honest, I do. Deep down. It might not be made for me but I have seen a few people who truly do love each other. But I could never admit it to myself. Today, I did." I felt a smile tugging over my features. 

"Right."

A long stretch of silence followed after that but it didn't bother me. It was like we were both drinking the few words we exchanged for the sake of avoiding any kind of inconvenience in the future. But to me, it didn't feel like that. 

Why? 

*****

The ocean reflected the whole world.

The only thing it failed to reveal was its own depth.

***