Firstly, I want to thank two special users that vote for each and every one of my chapters, they don't leave comments but they vote for the chapter as soon as it's out, or almost xD They are KortnieKatastrophe and Jazzie96 :3 You two are part of the people that always make me smile whenever I udpate because about ten minutes after the chapter's out there is a big chance that you both already voted for it, and well the fact that you're following this story so closely makes me feel happy ^^ If I could I would dedicate this chapter to both of you but since I can't I'll mention you both here and dedicate this one to Jazzie96 and then next is for KortnieKatastrophe (going in alphabetical order since you both started reading and voting for this story around the same time :P)

Second, look guys! We've hit the twentieth chapter :D In celebration of that I had planned on making a new cover but, I just need time to actually do it xD

Thirdly, I'd love to hear what you guys think about the chapter!

I hope you enjoy,

-> Desyre

Salvador

                Sometimes life was a real piece of shit for long extended periods of time, and I meant it was just pure shit and nothing else. If not I can tell you then that my particular life was real shitty this precise moment. It had always been kind of shitty but lately it had gotten that much shittier, lately being about a week ago.

                I sighed as I made my way to school Monday after Ash broke down, feeling like I hadn’t slept in days. Ash had been awfully quiet for the remainder of Sunday and when Monday’s sun shined up she wasn’t any better. I met Ollie outside of his house and we walked quietly to school. I could always count on him to have some delicacy or some form of decorum when it came to personal matters. He didn’t inquire into what had happened after I left his house and I wasn’t exactly in the mood to tell him either. We got to school and Ollie walked with me to the classroom, picking a pair of seats that were purposefully close. He held my hand as we sat down, like if he let go I would fall apart, which wasn’t all that far from reality, to be honest. I was going to thank him or something, when there was a throat being cleared and we both turned to find a teacher standing there eyeing us.

“PDAs are not allowed in school,” the teacher said eyeing our joined hands.

                I stared at him like he was stupid for a few seconds before letting go of Ollie’s hand.

“But it’s just holding hands. Many couples in school hold hands.”

                The teacher stared at me with a blank look and a raised eyebrow. Of course he didn’t understand a word I’d said because I was talking in sign language and no one in this motherfucking school spoke sign language. So we were back to forcing my boyfriend to talk, great.

“Alright,” he said simply.

                He must’ve known that I was about to protest because he gave me a look telling me to put up with it for now.

“Next time it won’t be a warning, Oliver,” the teacher said glaring at each of us before turning back around to go to the front.

                As soon as the teacher was gone I turned back to glare at Oliver, what the fuck was that? Why did he agree with the teacher so easily? He gave me a look and I understood that he didn’t want to get us in any more trouble. I sighed and slumped back into my chair, thinking that I would burn this school one of this days or something. Ollie touched my arm and brought me back from my psychopathic plans, he gave me a small smile and I couldn’t help sighing and smiling back at him. We would be together in all the other moments during school, on our way to class, in recess, and all that. I sat back and went to my usual routine of ignoring the teachers. The class went on peacefully like it always did since I’d spoken in sign language, and by the time the bell rang I was almost asleep on my desk. I got up gathering my things and walking with Ollie to the door to leave for my next class, but before we could actually get close to the door the teacher called Ollie up to his desk. I stood there waiting for Ollie and when the teacher noticed, he turned to glare at me.

“Yes Salvador? Do you need something?” The teacher asked.

                I stared at him for a few seconds, not really understanding. Why would I need something from him, I was just waiting for Ollie. I shook my head and the teacher’s glare intensified.

“Well, what are you waiting for then? Don’t you have a class to get to?” He said then, glaring at me like I was stupid or something.

                I squinted at the teacher for a few seconds, feeling that there was something going on here. He was up to something and I had no idea what it was. Ollie turned to give me a look telling to just go on and leave it be. I took a deep breath and looked at him, wondering why the fuck he was being so compliant, before I stomped out of class and went to my next class. The teacher glared at me when I stomped into the classroom throwing my stuff into the desk and practically throwing myself into my chair.

                I looked at him expectantly daring him to tell me something, wanting it almost, but he just shook his head and started class. I was annoyed with Ollie being so cooperative with the teachers suddenly, he didn’t care before, why did he care now if he got in trouble or not? Did he always care and just pretended he didn’t mind it for me? Now he had the focus of the teachers in school and the focus of everyone in town too. I had dragged Ollie into my own living hell, without even asking him if he was ready or if he wanted to come with me.

                The bell rang right then I got up and went out of the classroom expecting to find Ollie there, but he was nowhere in sight. I waited for him until there was no possible way to be in time for my next class and sighed as I made my way to class. Why wasn’t he here to walk me to my classroom? Maybe it was the little incident with the teacher this morning, he was avoiding getting into trouble and so wasn’t coming to pick me up from my classrooms anymore. I went into the classroom not even listening to the teacher as he bitched at me for being late. They wouldn’t do anything to me anyway, they never did anything to me lately. I sat down on my desk and all the worries I’d been having crowded into my mind again. What if Ollie wasn’t ready for this? What if this wasn’t what he signed in for? What if this was too much? What if he left me? What if he didn’t love me? What if he left when I told him I loved him?

                The class went by in a flash, my mind filled with thoughts and insecurities about Ollie and our relationship and the fact that I loved him. When the bell rang I got up and walked out of the classroom figuring that Ollie waiting for me outside of my classroom for recess wouldn’t be all that suspicious. But he wasn’t there, again. I waited for a good five minutes, figuring that he was maybe running a bit late. I sighed when the five minutes went by and he was nowhere in sight. I started walking to my locker to leave my stuff and make my way to the music classroom. I went in and it was weirdly silent, Em, Dust, and Kev were already there but they were just sitting there glaring moodily into space. I looked around the room, noticing that everyone was in the same shitty mood. I cleared my throat and everyone turned to glare at me.

“What happened to you guys?”

                They all looked at each other before turning back to me.

“Nothing,” they said at the same time.

                Yeah right, that meant that everything had happened. But I wondered what could’ve happened that involved each and every one of them

“No, really, what happened to put you guys in such a foul mood?”

                They all sighed and shook their heads. What the hell was going on here? Why didn’t they want to tell me what had happened? I sighed and gave up, deciding to let it go instead of losing my time trying to coax them into telling me.

“So we have practice today?”

“Of course we have practice today,” Em said glaring at me. “Just because we have three free weeks before we have to start practicing for the next gig, it doesn’t mean we’re going to slack. We’re just going to go with the normal schedule from before, and practice coordination and team work.”

                Everyone groaned.

“Dude, can’t we afford a day? Please, can’t we just have today free?” Dust asked.

“If you don’t come today tomorrow you’re going to do today’s practice and tomorrow’s,” Em said annoyed.

                Everyone agreed quickly to come to band practice today. We started talking about the band, and I asked Em how Ollie was going with his vocal training. She said that during training he was actually quite good, he just seemed to forget everything when he walked into stage. We went on talking and while I was paying attention I also kept a little part of my attention on the door, waiting for Ollie to come in. When the bell, rang Ollie barged into the classroom looking like he’d just run a marathon. He wasn’t just winded but I saw that his stance was tense and wondered what had happened to him.

                He read what I was saying and just shook his head opening his arms for me, I didn’t even think twice about it and pushed close to his body, wrapping my arms around him. I might’ve actually let out a little sigh of relief when I felt him wrap his arms around me, all the doubts and insecurities being pushed to the back of my mind. Everything was alright when I was in his arms and I was sure that we were in this together and that he wouldn’t leave me, the problem started when we were apart. There was a throat clearing right next to us and a frustrated sigh pushed out of Ollie before he let me go and turned to look at the teacher that was standing there.

“No PDAs in school,” the teacher said glaring at us.

                I stared at him for a few seconds, wondering why they were so strict with PDAs all of a sudden.

“Thanks for the warning,” Kevin said, mocking the teacher.

“You are most welcome Kevin,” the teacher said eyeing him like the mocking tone wasn’t lost on him.

“Now I believe you all have classes to get to,” the teacher said eyeing us.

                We nodded and started walking to class, Ollie close by my side, and I thought that maybe I would be able to finally spend some time with him even if it was the two minute walk to my classroom. The teacher cleared his throat again, though, and we all turned to look at him again. He was eyeing Ollie with a particular smile that told me I wouldn’t like what he was about to say.

“I think your class, Oliver, is in the other direction,” the teacher said.

                What the hell was his business with Ollie’s classes? Why did he know what class Ollie had next? I looked at Ollie and he just looked blankly at the teacher, clearly not understanding either.

“Are you going anywhere else?” The teacher asked raising an eyebrow.

                Ollie seemed to hesitate before he shot me an apologetic look and turned back to shake his head at the teacher.

“Then I think you should be walking in that direction,” the teacher said pointing down the hall.

                Ollie sighed and seemed to deflate on his feet. He waved us goodbye and went to walk down the hall. We all stood there watching him leave and the teacher cleared his throat again.

“I believe you have classes to go as well,” the teacher said eyeing us.

                I glared at the smug little piece of shit and stomped my way to my next class. I didn’t even see hint of Ollie for the rest of the day, he wasn’t outside of my classes waiting for me and he didn’t even meet me outside of my last class to tell me goodbye before going off to vocal training. I was a little lost when classes ended and I didn’t have detention and knew that Em wouldn’t even open the door if I dropped by her garage. I stood there wondering what the hell I would do now when decided that I should probably go to my house. I went off to my house and on the way thought about all the doubts and insecurities that had been buzzing through my head. Why didn’t Ollie come to walk me to my next classroom? Why didn’t he want to tell me what was going on with him? Didn’t he know that he could tell me anything? Didn’t he trust me? But did I trust him? I didn’t want to tell him about my own insecurities, who was I to ask him to trust me if I didn’t trust him either?

                Once I arrived to my house, Ash was still working but Mina was already home. She stared at me when I walked through the door.

“What are you doing here?” She asked confused.

                I couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow at her.

“You do know I live here right?”

                Mina glared at me.

“I’m asking you why you’re here so early, don’t you have band practice?” She asked folding the newspaper she’d been reading before I walked through the door.

“Em moved it weeks ago, when Ollie decided to become Tainted’s singer. The practice starts and ends an hour later now because she’s giving Ollie vocal training.”

                Mina looked at me with worried eyes.

“Poor boy. Em must be giving him a hard time.”

                I snorted at that.

“That must be the understatement of the century.”

                Mina chuckled and put the newspaper beside her.

“So, why is it that today is the only day you’ve arrived this early?” She asked raising an eyebrow at me.

“I don’t have detention today.” I shrugged going to sit beside her on the couch.

“You don’t have detention? Wow. That has to be the first time in a long while,” Mina said, both of her eyebrows shooting up.

“Since the school knows I’m mute the teachers have stopped messing with me, it’s actually kind of boring to go to school now, I miss getting in trouble.”

                Mina chuckled at that.

“They’re probably scared that if they mess with you you’ll sue them or something,” she said.

“I could still sue them for what they’ve done to me all this years.”

                Mina raised an eyebrow at me.

“They didn’t know you were mute they just thought you were a spoiled brat that simply didn’t want to talk. Not that far from the truth, though,” Mina said.

                I gave her a mocking glare.

“It’s nice to know you think I’m a spoiled brat mom. It really shows how much you love me.”

                Mina looked at me innocently.

“I don’t think you’re a spoiled brat, you are a spoiled brat,” she said.

                My glare intensified and I went to get off the couch. Mina started laughing and when she saw I was really planning to leave, she grabbed by wrist.

“Oh come on, Sal, you know I’m just kidding. I don’t mean it. Much,” Mina said and started laughing again.

                I glared at her, but I could never stay mad at her for too long. Finally I dropped back into the couch and waited for her to stop laughing.

“So how’s mom?” I decided to drop the bomb once she managed to stop laughing.

                She sobered up almost instantly. She gave me a worried look that told me this was killing her inside.

“I really don’t know. It seems like she doesn’t know how to be herself anymore. She’s spent so many years being that mean person that isn’t really her, that now she doesn’t remember how to be herself. When she left she always gave me a kiss and today she didn’t know if she should kiss me, hug me or what. It’s like she doesn’t know what to do anymore, she’s just lost all confidence in herself,” Mina said leaning forward and placing her elbows on her knees.

“I’m sure she’ll find herself again but it’s just that I hate to see her this lost you know? I wished I could do something to help her out,” Mina finished giving me a rueful smile.

                I thought about that for a few seconds, thinking about what she’d just said, and an idea started forming in my mind.

“Why don’t you show her how she was before?”

                Mina frowned at me, clearly not understanding.

“What do you mean?” Mina asked.

“Well, I mean, why don’t you show her how she was before she changed? You guys still have all the videotapes you made when we first moved in and other stuff. At every event and holiday you’ve always taken millions of photographs, why don’t you built and album with the photographs? That way you can relieve the memories with her, tell her stories about how she was before, and all that. She won’t even know you’re trying to help her out. And I say you, because there’s probably lots of sappy, cheesy memories that only you know about and I don’t wanna know about.”

                Mina chuckled at that but gave me a bright smile.

“You know it’s in moments like this when I’m reassured that you’re my son, because you’re as smart as I am,” Mina said smiling.

                I rolled my eyes and looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

“I’m sorry to pop your little bubble but I think I got this brains all on my own because both you and Uncle Max are as dumb as rocks.”

                Mina pinched me and glared at me but I just laughed and in the end she laughed along with me. When we were done laughing Mina got up, going to the stairs, and she turned to look at me with a smile.

“Don’t you have a practice to get to?” She said pointing to the clock on the wall.

                I read the time and got up in a hurry nearly knocking Mina down when I rushed up the stairs. She laughed at me as I went back down the stairs with my bass in my hand.

“You’re damned to be late wherever you go,” she said with an amused tone.

                The impulse to flip her off was big and tempting, but I just kept walking to the door. I went out of my house and hurried down the sidewalks to get to Em’s garage. She would bitch at me for being late surely. I met up with Dust and Kev as I got there and thought that at least I wouldn’t be the only who got bitched at. I went in expecting to meet Ollie and Em but instead encountering Ennie and Drew too. I was a little taken aback when I saw the amount of people in the room, right until I saw Ollie. If anything he looked worse than before, looking like he was running on his last nerve. Ollie shook his head again and I felt something tug at my heart, and then he patted the space beside him on the couch. At least he wanted me close, which was something, right? I quickly went to sit beside him and pressed closer to him once there. I felt myself relax considerably once I was close to him again, all doubts and thoughts banished from my head again.

“You’re all here, great!” Ennie said happily. “Gather around, I have some pretty good news for you.”

                Dust naturally sat beside Em and because of the lack of space Kev sat beside me. I thought that maybe it was time we pooled some money to buy a bigger couch now that we were a five person band.

“So, what is it?” Dust asked.

“Yeah, what big news do you bring?” Kevin asked, in a mocking tone.

                I pinched him for that, there was no need to mock Ennie for her natural cheerfulness. Kev turned to glare at me for a few seconds before rolling his eyes and turning back to look at Ennie.

“Well, you’re going to a gig next week,” Ennie said smiling.

                I frowned at Ennie, what was she up to? We had three free weeks until we had to start practicing for the next gig.

“What do you mean? We’re not expected back in your uncle’s place for at least two more weeks,” Dust said sounding confused.

“No, yeah, I know that! But I got you a place as the openers for The Waiting!” Ennie said excitedly.

                My eyes widened in surprise, we would be opening for The Waiting? How the fuck had she managed that? They were like the most popular new band, having released two singles that hit the charts and an EP that would most surely sell thousands of copies.

“Openers?” Ollie asked in a confused voice.

                Oh of course, if he hadn’t known what rock was, he probably had no idea what an opener was. I wondered shortly how he had known what a gig was. Everyone turned to look at him like he was stupid and I glared at them, he was new to all this they had really no right to judge. I turned to look at Ollie already thinking how I would explain what an opener was.

“The opener is what the band or artist that sings before an important band is called, the openers open the concert, so to say. The time they get on stage depends greatly on the band they’re opening for and on the popularity of the band.” Then a question raised in the back of my mind and I turned to look at Ennie, wondering in what kind of trouble she’d got us in. “But we’re not opening a concert, right?”

“Well, no, not a concert as such, you’re only playing for about two hundred people or so. At first they had another band opening for them, but it seemed that something happened and that band had to pull out of the deal. So there was a free space there and no one to fill it. And well it turns out that someone from The Waiting heard you guys playing this weekend and suggested you open for them! They purposefully came to The Emporium asking for you guys! I told them that you weren’t here currently but that you would be glad to play for them!” Ennie explained quickly.

                Oh my God, just what had Ennie done?! Opening for a band like The Waiting when we were just starting to get our name out there? I sighed and rubbed the bridge of my nose. And there was no way out either, if The Waiting wanted us to play for them, we couldn’t just refuse them. We would have to put up with the crazy schedule for one more week before we finally got a little peace.

“How much time on stage do we have?” Em asked.

                Oh shit, the time on stage. Please let it be less than half an hour, please, please, please.

“Oh not much, about half an hour. I was actually pretty bummed out when I heard it was only half an hour,” Ennie said shrugging.

                God-fucking-dammit.

“Half an hour, huh?” Dust said looking around, asking the question everyone was thinking, how were we going to pull this through?

“Gretchen!” Kev half yelled, half whined.

                I groaned thinking that Kev had spoken for all of us. How the right hell were we going to pull this through?!

“Do you have any idea what you signed us in for?!” He asked, clearly pissed out of his mind.

                Ennie, poor girl, looked taken aback at Kev’s outburst, probably thinking that she had just done us a big favor or something.

“What do you mean?” She asked.

“What do we mean? Really? Even I think Kev is right this time! We’ve only played twice in front of people! We’ve never played for such a big crowd! We only have six songs! We have a new singer and a new guitarist! We’re not ready to open for a band like The Waiting!” Em yelled, and I thought she was a second away from getting a heart attack.

“Umm… But I thought…” Ennie started saying.

“We really can’t pull this one through Gret. It’s too much for such a new band.” Dust said and he sounded like he was running on his last nerve here, like we were all just too much for him.

“You have to tell them we can’t be there,” Ollie said.

“But I already told them that you would play for them, and it’s The Waiting. It’s really a blessing that you’re even getting a chance to play for them. They just released their first EP, and it was a total success. They even have songs being played on the radio. Having the chance to play with them is really not something you can refuse,” Ennie said frowning and looking at each of us.

                Of course she would point that out and make it impossible for us to refuse anymore. How were we going to pull this through…?

“We can’t do it,” Ollie said again. “It’s not a good idea. We’re not ready.”

                I turned to look at him and felt a little bad because I already knew the decision was made and no matter how much he complained there was nothing to be done. We really couldn’t say no to a band like The Waiting.

“We should stop whining and begin writing,” Em said sighing. “We can’t refuse them now that Ennie said we would be there. They’re The Waiting, we can’t tell them we don’t wanna play with them, it’d be bad for our image, if we even have one.”

                As much as I hated to admit it, Em and Ennie were right, so I resigned myself to playing for The Waiting and what that implied

“It’s a bad idea,” Ollie said again, looking confused. “Just say no.”

                He probably didn’t understand why we just couldn’t refuse and I felt a little tug at my heart again. I realized right then that I stringed him into this situations where he was so out of his element and didn’t understand all that much. Great, another thing to eat at my heart, like I don’t have enough of those.

“Give it up, man. We’re going to go to this thing anyways, you might as well resign and save yourself from losing your time,” Dust grumbled.

                Ollie sighed looking decidedly not happy about being forced into playing for The Waiting, but he said nothing about it. We began working on a new song called Small Town Minds that took about three days to finish because of the foul mood everyone seemed to be in lately. Also I should add that everyone was particularly uncooperative when we worked on that song, as opposed to the eighth song, No Way Out. The guys came up with the idea on Wednesday and we finished the song that same day. Everyone felt pretty proud of that song, right until they remembered we still hadn’t finished Small Town Minds.

                For the duration of the week I felt like I was watching my life go around me from afar, like I was there but I wasn’t at the same time. I watched Mina come home with her arms full of envelopes of revealed photographs and I watched both her and Ash get down to making an album. I watched the guys discuss the songs and put in my two cents occasionally. I walked through the halls alone, already used by Wednesday to the idea that Ollie wouldn’t be there waiting for me. I kind of expected him to stop picking me up to walk to school too, but thankfully he didn’t. That and when we walked back home from practice was the only time Ollie and I spent together during that week.

                Most of the time, though, even when I was with Ollie, I was thinking about what I’d done to him, about what I’d dragged him into, and about the possibility of him just telling me that he was sick of it and leave me and Tainted. I laughed without any humor on Thursday when I thought about this, I couldn’t help it, I was such a walking contradiction it was almost funny. One second I was terrified of telling him that I loved him and about wanting him to stay with me forever, and the next I was terrified that he wouldn’t stay with me forever.

                I got kind of sick of the numbness in my life and that day purposefully did things to get into trouble, I chewed gum making noises and popping the bubbles really loudly, I listened to music at a deafening volume making sure everyone could notice that I was listening to music, and I sat right in front of the teacher’s desk and fell asleep. Finally my attempts paid up and I got detention, for one day mind you, but at least I got detention. When the classes ended, I went off to detention and I have to admit I was almost skipping. Dusty was there, looking really moody when I came into the classroom but I refrained myself from saying anything because the teacher was there too. I waited for the teacher to leave but it turned out that she never did, not until detention was finished and we had to leave. When we finally were out of school ground I turned to look at Dust.

“Why the fuck did she stay through to the end?”

                Dust shrugged and sighed rubbing at his temples.

“My guess is as good as yours, man. She’s not leaving anymore, I’ve been in detention for three out of the past four days and she never left, either,” Dust said.

                Then he turned to look at me and frowned.

“You look like a fucking zombie, dude. When was the last time you got some serious rest?” Dust asked me.

                I knew he didn’t mean the make up when he said I looked like a zombie. It was the drawn in look, like I hadn’t eaten in weeks and hadn’t slept in longer than that. It was the guilt eating at my heart, the doubts and the thoughts that plagued my mind and made me toss and turn in my bed that had me like this.

“I don’t know.” I sighed.

                Dusty frowned even more, like there was something he couldn’t understand about me.

“What’s been going on with you this past week, man? You always have this distant look in your eyes, like you’re not really here, and you keep on flinching and jumping out of your skin whenever anyone talks to you. It’s like you’re expecting someone to kill you or something. Ollie’s been worried sick about you, but he’s waiting until you tell him what your problem is. I’m not Ollie, though, so I won’t keep on waiting for you to find your balls and come out with it already. And don’t even try to tell me there’s nothing wrong with you, we all know you Sal and you can’t fool us, we only pretend that you can,” Dusty said sounding annoyed to hell.

“Well, if you ask for it so nicely then I’ll tell you.”

                Dusty just rolled his eyes.

“Just spit it out already, man.”

                And well because I didn’t really feel like arguing with Dust I told him all about the stupid doubts I’d been having lately. I told him about me loving Ollie and about that scaring the shit out of me, I told him about me dragging Ollie into my own living hell, and about him getting tired of putting up with it for me, and about him hating me for it. I emptied all the things that had been eating at me for the past week and by the time I was done I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Just telling someone about it felt like a relief. Dust remained in silence for a few minutes after I was done and I knew he was thinking about everything I’d just told him. Finally he sighed and looked into my eyes.

“You have to talk to Ollie, man. You can’t go on like this and he’s been worried sick about you. I thought that maybe I could help you work out whatever was bugging you but I can’t, dude. You have to talk to your man and work this thing out, or it’s going to grow and explode in your faces and that’ll be worse.”

                I groaned involuntarily because I knew I had to talk to Ollie but I had hoped I could solve this some other way. Well it turned out that there was no other way out, I had to talk to Ollie and I had to find my balls. Dust chuckled at the face I made and smiled at me.

“I’m sure things will work out between you two. I have never seen a pair of people who are more destined to be together than you two. I’m sure you guys won’t let something like this get between you. You’ll find your balls soon enough and you’ll talk to Ollie and you’ll work it all out and return to being the annoying lovebirds you were before this whole shit started in your head. I’m almost sad that I’ll have to put up with your make out sessions again.”

                I punched Dust’s arm and he just laughed harder. Well he was right, nobody got me like Ollie did, I was sure we’d work this out when I found the courage to bring it up to him. We continued making our way to Em’s house both of us dreading what we’d find there. I was afraid for Ollie and Dust was afraid of how hard Em was going to works us today. Good thing after this we had a couple of free weeks to work on a normal schedule and rest a little before the next gig came. I also thought that that meant Ollie and I could have time to work this shit out, and have a little extra time for ourselves. I couldn’t help the wicked smile that spread my lips, I knew what I wanted to do with that time. Right then I remembered I’d left my bass in my house and groaned, and told Dust to go ahead without me. I returned to my house quickly to pick up my bass and ran back out, thinking that Em was going to bitch at me for being so late.

                Instead of bitching, though, what I found when I walked into the garage was Kev and Dust crying like babies and both Em and Ollie trying to get them to calm down. I stared at them, really not understanding what the fuck had happened here. Everyone told me it was nothing and in my mind sounded an alarm. There was something going on here that they weren’t telling me about. Seeing as they weren’t going to tell me, though, I shrugged it off and went to Ollie to give him his usual kiss hello. He pulled me into his arms and kissed me like he couldn’t get enough of my mouth ever. Anyone that had seen us would’ve thought we’d spent years apart from each other but it hadn’t even been a day.

                I pulled away and Ollie smiled at me, and I had to swallow the wave of panic that tightened my throat. Again that fear that I wanted Ollie to stay with me forever invaded my mind, but I played it cool and pulled on a smile. We got to work after that and everyone returned to their moody selves when they realized we still hadn’t finished Small Town Minds. Thankfully we finished that hellish song that day and moved on to practicing the rest of the songs about a thousand times. When we were done Em said that since all that was left was to practice the songs again practice would start later tomorrow. I had to work hard to resist the urge to groan when I heard that; great, more free time I had nothing to fill with.

                I went home and right up the stairs, practically passing out on my bed. I slept like the dead that night but when morning rolled around I felt like I hadn’t slept at all. I was still thinking about the fact that I loved Ollie and about what the hell I was going to do about it. I didn’t know if I was ready to talk about forever with him and I was afraid he wasn’t either. Basically I was just afraid of everything. I was afraid of telling him and that he’d tell me he loved me back and I was afraid that he’d tell me he didn’t love me.

“Sal?” I heard Mina ask me.

                I snapped back into reality and found my mom looking at me with a little frown. Ash was sitting next to her holding her hand and acting all lovey-dovey. That was all they were like lately, I was even starting to regret having old Ash back around. They were almost intoxicating now, always acting all cheesy and passing little comments and giggles I was grateful I couldn’t understand. They were like a newly-wed couple all over again and they’d been together for more than twenty fucking years.

“Is everything alright?” Mina asked.

“Yeah.”

“Are you sure?” Mina’s frown deepened a little more.

                I sighed not really wanting to answer. We’d already been through this about every day of the past week, and it was always the same. She wanted me to talk to her and I didn’t want to talk about the stupid thoughts that I’d been having and the gnawing feeling of guilt that I had inside me. Right then, though, I got saved from answering by the doorbell ringing. I finished eating my scrambled eggs in a hurry and said goodbye to both my moms before going to open the door. Ollie was standing there in the clothes that had begun to look more and more normal on him. He looked like he was comfy in his own skin with the punk clothes, like he was at ease, when before he had looked like he was out of his element in them. Ollie gave me a shy smile and I closed the door behind me before I practically jumped into his arms.

                The only time when my mind was at ease and I knew that everything was alright was when Ollie held me, because I could finally push all my thoughts to the back of my mind. It was the only time when I was sure that nothing was wrong. There could’ve been a raging war around us and as long as Ollie had me in his arms I wouldn’t be scared. It was really weird and disconcerting the difference between my thoughts when I wasn’t with Ollie and my thoughts when I was with Ollie. The difference was almost like heaven and hell. Ollie hugged me tightly before drawing back a little to plant a small kiss on my lips. He pulled back but I pulled him in again and gave him a real kiss, the type that left you wanting more and wishing for privacy. It had become our morning routine for him to give me a small kiss and for me to pull him back and keep him there for a good time.

                Ollie sighed and looked a little dazed before he gave me a mock glare. I chuckled and put my best innocent face.

“You really are the devil,” he said.

                He’s voice still sounded sexy as fuck, and affected me in all the right places.

“And you like me like that.” I gave him my inherited devilish smile and winked at him.

                Ollie blushed but chuckled and shook his head.

                We walked on to school and once there Ollie walked me to my classroom before waving and going on to his own classroom. After the third time we’d gotten the no PDA warning Ollie had given up and resigned himself to just waving. I sighed and went into the classroom all my thoughts from before coming back to my mind. He had to be sick of not being able to touch me, he had to be sick of putting up with this just for me.

                I groaned and laid my head on my desk wanting to just turn my mind off already, make all this stupid thoughts go away and leave me the fuck alone. But if anything they buzzed around even louder, torturing me all through classes until the bell for the recess rang. I sighed getting up and walking out of the classroom only to find Ennie and Drew standing there and smiling at me. I was a little taken aback when I found them there waiting for me because normally she would go eat lunch with Drew and Tainted would eat in the music classroom.

“Hey!” Ennie said smiling at me. “Let’s go.”

                She grabbed my wrist and pulled me along with her through the hallways, and I realized that we were going to her little spot. I spent that recess with Ennie and Drew and they told me all about what was expected of us tomorrow when we got to the gig and asked us how we were going to get there and all that. The recess ended and I felt more than a little confused, why didn’t she just stop by the music classroom to talk to all of us? I went off to class, and went through the same process of sitting there thinking about Ollie in all of my classes.

                I went home when school ended and took a nap that, if anything, left me even more tired before going to practice. I arrived and everyone was already there but weirdly enough instead of bitching at me they all seemed in an awfully good mood for the first time in the week. They didn’t even make catcalls when I kissed Ollie like I usually did, which was weird, very, very fucking weird. After practice I went to my house and, like I had become accustomed to doing, practically passed out on my bed. The next day I woke up late and hurried to get dressed and ready, like I always did. I ran out of the house with my bass on my hand when Dusty honked his horn. We cramped into Dusty’s car and drove to the place where The Waiting was playing.

                Meeting The Waiting was more than a little elating. They talked to us like we were all normal people, and they weren’t one of the most popular rising bands. They told us about them and asked about us and our songs. They even asked us to play for them. We spent all the time before we were scheduled to go in with them and I have to say that I was having a pretty good night. Right until the actual show started and life got shittier, again. It was a complete and total disaster, the crowd called for the band we were filling in for and were looking a little hostile even. To say that I was scared shitless was an understatement, though, I think that Ollie was having a much harder time than I was.

                He yelled at everyone to shut up suddenly and the force of it rendered everyone speechless and frozen in their place. He told them they were assholes in polite terms and walked right out of stage. I put down my bass and went to follow him out of the stage, but instead of catching up to him, I caught up with the floor. My feet had gotten tangled in the cables around us and in my hurry to reach Ollie I hadn’t noticed it. I fell into the amps and hit my shin and thigh before falling further down and off the stage, hitting my head against the floor. For a long time I saw nothing but black, until my brain seemed to zone back in and I noticed I was in the backstage.

                There were a lot of voices and yelling going around me and I wanted nothing more than to tell them all to shut the hell up. I was then aware of the fact that all my body seemed to be one big throbbing ache. I started sitting up groaning as I realized my head ached like it was about to split open, I opened my eyes and before I even noticed it I had my lips pressed against someone else’s. The kiss lasted for a few seconds but it seemed to have been going on for hours. My eyes seemed to focus and I saw Kev staring and me with the same question. What the fuck?!

“What the fuck?!” Ollie yelled angrily.

                Both Kev and I turned to look at Ollie at the same time.

                Holy fucking shit. Holy fucking shit. Holy fucking shit. Holy fucking shit. Holy fucking shit. Holy fucking shit. Holy fucking shit. Holy fucking shit. Holy fucking shit. Holy fucking shit.

                I shook my head, ignoring the searing pain this caused, at Ollie telling him that it really wasn’t what it looked like. Ollie glared at me for long seconds before he let out a frustrated breath.

“Forget it,” he seethed, turning around and walking out of the room.

                Kev got up and ran after him, yelling at him to wait. I laid back on the floor, my headache getting even worse and raised my arms up to head pushing the palms against my eyes. I felt a wave of nausea hit me and I gaged, thinking I might actually puke, and everyone hurried to bring me a bag. I emptied my stomach into the bag and laid down on the floor again.

                Holy fucking shit. Holy fucking shit. Holy fucking shit. Holy fucking shit. Holy fucking shit. Holy fucking shit. Holy fucking shit. Holy fucking shit. Holy fucking shit. Holy fucking shit.

                I swallowed back the urge to puke again and tried to calm myself down, Ollie was going to come back. He was going to come back, he would. A long time went by and neither Kev nor Ollie came back.

“I’m gonna go look for them, man. It’s been too long,” Dust said sounding worried, I didn’t know what he was worried about and didn’t give a flying fuck to be perfectly honest, getting up and going out of the room too.

“HOLY SHIT!” Dust yelled a few seconds afterwards.

                I groaned with everything I had in me. That definitely wasn’t good news.

“CALL AN AMBULANCE!” Dust yelled.

“Already on its way!” Ennie yelled back and I heard Em sigh from somewhere near me, like this was all just too much for her. “How in the hell could this turn into such a fucking disaster?”

                I was wondering the same thing hours later when the doctor was explaining to both Ash and Mina that, though, the damage wasn’t life threatening I had a mild concussion and a lot of bruises, and would have to stay in the hospital for a night.

Survey the third, who's feeling guilty now for thinking Sal was cheating on Ollie?